Renaming the Newly Formed College Conferences

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Over the past few days the college sports landscape has drastically changed. The Pac 10 now has 11 teams and almost certainly 12 by the end of the month. The Big Ten has 12 teams and the Big 12 has ten teams. None of the names make any sense anymore so it's time they were renamed and I figure, I'm a bright guy, I can come up with the perfect new names for each of these conferences.

Pac 10 -> CoCWoRM

The Pac 10 is kind of going to ways of the ACC and grabbing at landlocked schools who are no longer on the Coast line, so it needs something a little bit more accurate. Thus, CoCWoRM is the perfect choice. CoCWoRM can stand for Conference of Colleges West of the Rocky Mountains (or River Mississippi). It also seems like a very suitable name for the shady dealings that have gone on recently both in the Conference landscape, the fact they were trying to eat up the entire Big 12, as well as in the USC scandals.

Big 12 -> Texas & Friends

The Big 12 has ten teams so keeping that name is completely out of the question. The new name should really reflect who actually has all the power in the conference and the school that decided that the conference would not fold, and that is Texas. The conference and ESPN have already placated Texas with ample dollar signs in TV revenue and its own station so why not just go all the way and name the entire conference after them.

Big 10 -> COC 12

This is my least favorite of the new names and has ample room for improvement but it needs to reflect the fact that all of these teams used to be better than they are now and thus we currently have the COC 12 (Completely Overrated Conference 12). It's obviously too close to the CoCWoRM, which I like better, but it will suffice for now.

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Dear Corey Hart

Friday, June 11, 2010

Dear Corey Hart,

Hi Corey, I have a relatively simple question for you. See in 2009 I thought you were going to be some breakout 25/25 hitter and that you were going to build upon your steady career progressions in your 27 year old season and because of this I drafted you in my first round (8 keepers per team so 9th round in reality). But instead of getting 25/25 you put up a measly 12 HRs and 11 steals. You drove in basically no runs and frankly were a completely useless fantasy asset. In laymans terms, you sucked.

So my question is pretty simple, why do you keep on hitting home runs this season? Why have you eclipsed your 2009 HR totals in 1/3 of a season? Can you go back to sucking so I won't be annoyed at the fact that the only year I owned you in a 4 season span was the only year you weren't remotely useful? It's just a little request. I mean your team is already out of it so no one would really care or notice if you only hit say, 4 more home runs the entire season. So how about that? 4 more homers puts you at 20, you can then shut it down, still have a 20 HR season on your belt, and all of the 2009 fantasy Hart owners won't feel so so bad at the difference of Hart 09 and Hart 10. Just a request. Hope you oblige.

Thanks,
Simon



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Chasing Lines: The USA's Odds Are Long

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The World Cup begins today and I'm wondering just how Patriotic you feel today. The US enters the tournament with 95:1 odds meaning the gambling community essentially feels that the US has zero shot of pulling of the massive World Cup upset and truly why would they. Soccer is not one of the prime sports in this country and we have never had any major success in this tournament. If the US were to somehow come home with World Cup trophy in hand it would be one of the more historical sports upsets.

The Americans may be ranked #14 overall in the FIFA World Rankings as well as SI's World Cup Power Rankings but they aren't truly in the class of the European and South American powerhouses. The Americans do not have any players getting regular playing time on any of the European club giants. Meanwhile, a team like Spain, whom the US dramatically upset last year, consists of players plying their trade at teams like Barcelona, Real Madrid and Valencia. The Spanish players and other European giants are simply more talented and play against the top competition day in and day out. The only hope for the US is that somehow their unit is much greater than the sum of their parts.

So again I ask, how patriotic do you feel today? Are you willing to basically drop $50 bucks on America even though they basically have no chance, simply because you really really feel American today? The payout would be quite nice if somehow they did pull off the upset, and when they don't you can simply write it off as a debt you paid as an American. So is it America or $50?

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2010 World Cup Predictions

Thursday, June 10, 2010

The predictions will be quick, to the point, and in bracket format...


I'm going with the favorites of Spain and a whole lot of chalk. I think there's a definitive difference between the #1 and #2s of the groups and lamely picked no upsets in the round of 16. I think France and Portugal will be the lone European powerhouses to not make the Quarters. I also feel that the African squads will have a horrible showing in the their first world cup on home soil. The golden boot will likely go to Messi despite me thinking they get knocked off in the semis, and the player of the tournament will be his Barca teammate Xavi.

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2010 Notre Dame, Navy & Army Helmet Schedule

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Here is your 2010 Conference USA Schedule in helmet form. I prefer the retro helmet so you get them again this year. For a Glossary of all the Helmet Schedules click on the link.


Please click on the image to get the full sized version.

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Apparently Chelsea Is A Little Curse for this Year's World Cup

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

In 2010 Chelsea F.C. had a landmark season. While they still could not break through with great Champions League success they did bring home a domestic double which included the Premiership and FA Cup trophies. Due to the grind of playing so many meaningful games it appears as if the Chelsea players are suffering injuries left and right that are serious damaging the chances of their home countries.

Michael Essien, Ghana: Essien is likely the best African midfielders and was lost for Chelsea in December and despite what was supposed to be a rehab which would have him ready in ample time for the World Cup, due to complications Ghana is without their best player.

John Mikel Obi, Nigeria: John Mikel Obi is a defensive focused midfielder who started 35 times this season for Chelsea up until his injury in late April. Unfortunately for him and Nigeria he could not recoup in time for the first ever African World Cup.

Michael Ballack, German Captain: Ballack was the aging captain of the German squad coming into this years World Cup until the FA Cup final when Ballack suffered and injury which would put him out of the Cup.

Didier Drogba, Ivory Coast: Drogba is easily the most renowned African striker. He was the first of the four to be injured while not in a Chelsea uniform and while a broken arm is more of a random act of injury than over usage, it still is striking that Chelsea is home to three of the best African footballers in the World and they are all down and out.

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CHasing Lines: Blindly Picking the Belmont Winners

Friday, June 04, 2010

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I'm going to be 1000% honest with this post. I have ZERO idea about anything surrounding this years Belmont stakes. I only recognize one horse now that both the Preakness and Kentucky Derby winners have pulled out of the race. That horse is Ice Box, the horse that arrived like a bullet at the Kentucky Derby to finish second. He is the odds on favorite and I fully expect him to take home the Belmont title. But you can't reallly take home too much cash just betting on the favorite so we need to package this up with the next two finishes.

To decide the next two finishers we combine a scientific formula which includes two criteria, name and outfit. With no outfits truly sticking out to me this Belmont Stakes I think I will simply go with the dudes, First Dude and Game On Dude. They both have decent odds and the Dude combination seems like fate at the finish line. So my final picks for the Belmont are:

1. Ice Box
2. Game On Dude
3. First Dude

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I Just Realized I Predicted One Thing Right...

Thursday, June 03, 2010

Because my preseason predictions in Hockey are named Completely Useless 09-10 NHL Predictions one would think that they are completely useless but apparently not. As of this current moment I am looking solid having predicted a Blackhawk vs. Flyers final with the Blackhawks taking the Stanley Cup back to Chicago for the first time in 50 years.

Oh and ignore those silly predictions from last month. I was drunk.

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Numbers On Steroids: Ken Griffey Jr.

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you.

Ken Griffey Jr. is essentially the great clean hope. He's the one player with historic home run power who has never been remotely linked to performance enhancers. He's the one player who came up as a phenom and lived up to his hype. With his retirement yesterday, now is the best time to take a look at his numbers and verify the lack of suspicion.

Averages Say: Initial ramp up into his prime and steady decline afterwards

At Bats Per Home Run Says: In 1993 Griffey turned 23 and started hitting homers at a high clip.

Explaining It Away
Unlike the numbers of Bonds or others Griffey's fit the bill for what you would expect a major leaguer / phenom to do. He made the major leagues as a 19 year old and while his numbers were decent, they were spectacular. Over the course of the next few years his numbers steadily increased (1995 he was injured played 1/2 the season). Then after his age 27 season (the theoretical MLB prime) he steadily decreased.

The Verdict
All in all nothing in the numbers remotely suggests steroid usage unless it was constant from his high school days. He was a phenom that steadily improved to super stardom and then steadily faded until he finally was a mediocre player with no pop left in his bat at the age of 40.

Clean Stamp of Approval

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Retarded Tales in Fantasy Trade Vetos

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

When it comes to fantasy trades and a leagues veto power I tend to be a little bit more lax than others. If someone in your keeper league is dumb enough to trade away a young Jose Reyes for Danny Graves, than perhaps the bigger problem is that they are in your league period and not that people take advantage of their idiocy. In reality you are just mad that you weren't the one to profit in the first place*.

Anywho, earlier this season my buddy at work comes to me and says that there is a trade in his league that everyone is bitching about and is probably going to veto. On one end the player is absolutely positively desperate for a third baseman after poor draft strategy and a few injuries so just a few weeks into the season he's looking to make a deal for a third baseman. On the other end one guy has Chipper Jones and a need in the outfield. A deal is arranged where one party gets Chipper Jones and the other gets Bobby Abreu. On face value this is a bad deal. Chipper Jones is always injured and had a poor 2009 and was off to a horrible start while Bobby Abreu had a solid 2009 and was off to an ok start. The league voted and the trade was rejected saying that Abreu was too much to get in return for Chipper Jones, quite arguable given the one players needs (he had no third baseman).

So not to be deterred the two struck a new deal which the league would grant. On one end the player would still receive Chipper Jones but instead of Bobby Abreu he would send Alex Rios, a player who had a bad 2009 season but not as bad as people really perceived.

Fast forward 2 months and... Alex Rios is the #4 ranked player in all of fantasy baseball. He is hitting .315, he has 16 SBs, and has hit 11 HRs. Meanwhile Bobby Abreu is significantly behind Rios in all three of those categories. So in retrospect, the league vetoed a deal saying that Player #2 was getting too much in return for an aging Chipper Jones and the end result is that they wound up giving Player #2 even more in return for Chipper Jones. Good job, jackasses.

*Collusion trades are a different story. There should be no under the table dealings where profit is shared thanks to trades. That's just BS.

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