SimonOnSports

Too bad Tulowitzki is hitting two hundred.

Killed some braincells this weekend, don't remember a lot but here's what I got feel free to fill in the blanks with some comments... Power Rankings Recap The assessment was pretty good I think. The Immortal 4 finished 5 under somewhere in the upple middle section, although surprisingly mostly due to J-Box's putting, he nailed 2 bird putts and an iggle putt, who knew. Conor, a sober one at that, and Carlson both cheated again and finished in the top couple of spots. P-Bird by all accounts solidified his lieing by winning the long drive. Team Gayrutt finished somewhere around 6 over qualifying them for very close to last if not last, and did not record a single bird all day long. And for the most part I was too drunk to remember any of the other scores. Probably should have had some breakfast not made by Arthur Guinness if I wanted to remember most of the shit to put in the guy. Apparently the Carl Pavano of golf made it through all 18 this year. Next year is guaranteed

What white kid didn't love Thunder Dan during his heyday?

~I would be willing to bet a lot of money that there are a decent amount of trades in the top 15 picks and that the players selected differ from my mock draft no later than pick 6, my guess is Calvin Johnson will probably blow the lid off my whole my draft by having someone trade up for him. ~Joe Thomas has decided to go fishing instead of attending the draft, I don't know about you but this turns me off for several reasons. This is the biggest day of your life and you're going to lounge around on a pond all day instead of getting up on the podium? Do you not care that much / is this somehow not a big deal for you. In addition fishing sucks, its to friggin boring. ~I still can't believe the Patriots got a first round pick for Deion Branch, that seemed like too much to give up at the time for me and I'm sure the Seahawks would like to have their pick right now rather than Branch. You know the the Patriots will unearth some unknowned guy that will have a huge impact o

This is what I put into the ESPN Draft Forecast Game yesterday, I'd say this is what happens if there are no trades. My guess is there will end up being a ton of trades and it will look nothing like this. I think I did horrible in this game last year. 1st - Oakland Raiders, JaMarcus Russell, LSU QB The Raiders suck all over the place, why they think a qb is going to solve this issue I have no idea. Russell has a big arm and is a large man, but without a decent offensive line Big Tree fall hard. He does fit the profile and look of a Raider, so that's a plus. 2nd - Detroit Lions, Gaines Adams, Clemson DE They should take Calvin Johnson, but most likely they won't because Matt Millen, even though he's bullet proof apparently doesn't want to get fired. Chances are they trade this pick at some point, but if they don't I bet they draft Adams. 3rd - Cleveland Browns, Adrian Peterson, Oklahoma RB Today I found out that Peterson reinjured his collar bone in the Fi

It's pig Dinner Weekend and at the request of a few chumps I did a little team by team Power Rankings. So drink up be merry and don't get all of your front teeth chipped in half by some unconfirmed assbag who pulled your feet out from under you. 1. The Cuntry Club: Derick Fors(2002), Matt Bielik(2001), Jon Keaney(1999), Add New Member Should I even count Fors team in the running for the best score, he is the Pro at the course and probably has played it hundred if not thousands of times already. A sabotage would need to be held most likely to ge them to lose, even if they do end up with just 3 guys. 2. Don't Hassle The Hoff: Jason Casimiro(2002), Jeffrey Costa(2002), Matthew Siska(2002), Gregory LaCamera(2002) I could be wrong but were all these guys on the golf team with the exception of Siska? I feel like they post a good score every year. 3. G.F.Y.: Ryan "Thunder" Fournier(2000), Dana "The Towering Infermo" Griffin(2000), Max "The Dirty Sanchez

What is wrong with the Japanese? Could you possibly get away with this in American? So from now on every time Dice-K gives up a home run I think Varitek should go to the mound and give him a swift jimmy tap with his catchers mit. Seems like it is acceptable punishment in the far east.

Apparently Cups should be mandatory on crosses in the box. Most likely that guy would have rather not scored the goal. Although Blunt testicular trama is always fun. From: The Offside

Two days ago Sebastian Telfair was arrested on a guns possession charge (his girlfriends gun) after getting pulled over for driving 77 in a 45 in his massive Landrover and the Celtics couldn't run to the teams locker room fast enough to rip his name off of his former locker and say: I wanted to let you know that we have removed Sebastian's nameplate from his locker in Waltham. The facts and circumstances of his case have not been determined but he does not have a Celtics locker and we do not anticipate that he will," Celtics managing partner Wyc Grousbeck wrote in an e-mail to The Boston Globe on Tuesday. "The players on the Celtics have been explicitly warned, this year, to obey the team and league gun prohibition as well as state laws. We take this very seriously and will act accordingly once the facts have been determined," Grousbeck also stated. Personally I think this is completely laughable. The Celtics made a horrendous trade in picking up Telfair and ha

Ouch...

~Extrapolate Arod's 3s for an entire season: 675 ABs, 270 Hits, 234 Runs, 63 Doubles, 126 Homers, 306 RBIs, 9 SBs -- WOW ~At the opposite end of the spectrum extrapolate David Wrights #s: 621 ABs, 162 Hits, 99 Runs, 27 Doubles, 0 Homers, 36 RBIs, 27 SBs -- OUCH ~Mets Record = 12-6, Yankees Record = 8-10, Go Figure. ~Jason Giambi might be the slowest baseball player of this generation. Last night in the 8th inning down 4, Giambi standing on second base Cano hits a line drive up the middle. Giambi rounds third but doesn't score in spite of the fact that Elijah Dukes kicked the ball no lie 30 feet in front of him. Posada proceeded to foul out, and Cabrera struck out to strand the bases loaded. So Giambi's fatness cost me both an RBI from Cano and a save from Reyes, as he came in up 4 instead of 3. ~This also got me annoyed heavily because Joe Girardi said something completely retarded. When Giambi didn't score on the boot, Girardi said it wasn't that big of a de

For the most part I simply write about sports, but on occasion someone says something so profoundly stupid that I need to comment. Yesterday, that women was Sheryl Crow , who's music isn't any good, said this on her tour blog yesterday: "Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, whose judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing

~I very much enjoyed the fact that both the Spurs and Mavericks got knocked off their pedastal game 1. Could possibly lead to some good first round series. One has to question how the Mavericks who won 67 games this season have been swept thus far this season by the Warriors. Is there truly a possibility that the Mavericks can beat every other team in the NBA but for some unknown reason Nelly has his old squads number? How miserable would it be if a team won 67 games had multiple 15 game win streaks and then got bounced in the first round of the playoffs by a team that hasn't made the playoffs since C-Webb was on the roster. Also, I can't stand the Spurs and would much rather see AI and Carmello move onto the next round. Get some fresh blood in the mix. ~On the opposite side. The Suns, Cavs, and Pistons are going to roll through their series with no issue at all. ~What the hell happenned to Andrei Kirilenko, he used to be a defensive force and an underrated player. Now

~Going into the weekend I told my buddy that I would actually be pleased if the Yankees took one of the games and lost the series. With the pitching matchups lined up Schilling, Beckett, Dice-K vs. Pettite, Karstens, Wright, asking for anything more than a single game would have been a bit stupid. But thanks to a combination of things they got swept, it that blew. ~Back to Back to Back to Back, is cool but it was against Chase Wright, a kid whose only started 4 games above Class A ball. I think Manny's ball hit the moon though. ~Here's the funny part about the Yankees, the middle relief are struggling because they are pitching every single game this season, especially Proctor and Vizcaino who are both a couple games into double digit appearances already. Meanwhile Mariano is struggling because he is never getting into any games because the games the Yankees have been winning have been complete blowouts. I mean giving up huge hits to Coco Crisp and Marco Scutaro in the same week

Whats more fun than a slash in the balls.

I wonder why they got completely blown out in the second half.

For an English Premiership team there are 4 possible trophies you can end up with at the end of the season. 3 of which are domestic, the other is the biggest of them all the UEFA Champions League, or king of all of Europe. Well with only a month and a half remaining in the European Soccer season the month of May could loom where Chelsea and Manchester United clash 3 times once to decide a single trophy. Premiership After today's draw versus Middlesborough, Manchester United sits 4 points ahead of Chelsea in the premiership standings, with Chelsea having a game in hand, aka they play tomorrow and Man U does not. So if Chelsea wins tomorrow in Newcastle they will close the gap to a single point. And create a massive race down the stretch for the most coveted English trophy, the winner of the league. Unlike American sports, in European Soccer their is no post season / playoffs. After you play each team twice in the Premiership the team with the most points is the Champion of the Leagu

I'm feeling very lazy about analyzing every last one of these series for the first round so I just did a bracket. But I'll give a few quick thoughts. Best Series: Heat vs. Bulls Best Upset Chance: Nets Easiest Series: Cavs vs. Wizards

Another year, another #1 rated quarterback flocks to USC. After the high school recruiting period where the Trojans unfortunately were not able to land the #1 Quarterback prospect in the country (Jimmy Clausen who's headed to ND) it did not take them long to grab another #1 rated QB. Mitch Mustain, the 2006 top recruit from Arkansas who stayed in state only to get ticked off by the fact that Arkansas was running the ball almost exclusively with McFadden and he was being benched for a stiff decided that he was going to transfer. Well yesterday, he chose USC, aka Quarterback U. My question is how in the world does Pete Carroll keep on bringing these guys in year after year even though they already have an established quarterback, a former #1 Quarterback himself. Let's take a look at the USC Quarterbacks both the past few seasons and currently on their roster. Recent QB History of USC Carson Palmer - 2002 Heisman Winner Matt Leinart - 2004 Heisman Winner John David Booty - #1 ra

Or not...

It's all in the Sox.

Coach of the Year: Sam Mitchell I bet there are a good portion of people who have no friggin idea who Sam Mitchell is what he looks like and would never recognize him walking down the street as Sam Mitchell even if he was wearing a t-shirt that said My Name is Sam Mitchell. Well Mitchell got the Raptors, yes the Raptors, the 3 seed in the east and a division crown. Sure its the worst division in the NBA, but somebody had to win it, and technically they aren't the worst division winner, even though the Heat have a worse record because of the obvious fact that Wade missed signifcant time. 2nd Place: Avery Johnson 3rd Place: Jeff Van Gundy Sixth Man: Leandro Barbosa Barbosa is the perfect sparkplug for the Suns, he is lightning fast, can shoot the three or drive the lane, is a scoring machine, can play sidekick to Nash or can take over with Nash on the bench. He's a pretty easy pick for sixth man. 2nd Place: Jarry Stackhouse 3rd Place: Manu Ginobli Defensive Player: Bruce Bowen T

Maybe that argument with the radio jock really rattled Charlie Manuels mind, maybe it were the facts that I brought up earlier today about how their bullpen is horrendous and Brett Myers has simply sucked it up his first three starts this season, but Charlie no brains has decided to screw over ever person that drafted Brett Myers expecting 200 Ks by... using him as the setup man? Are you kidding me Charlie? Your opening day starter sucks it up for three games and you bail on him that quickly? I wonder how that conversation went... Chuckles: Hey Brett Wife Beater: Hey Coach, whats up Chuckles: You know how Ryan Madson is f'n awful and keeps losing games and is our '2nd best' guy in the pen, and we f'n suck. Wife Beater: Um... Sure coach. Chuckles: Well you know how you've been getting whiplash this season because you've been getting hit so hard. Wife Beater: Well, coach, I Chuckles: Ya well I want to limit the amount of whiplash you can get in one day. So your ou

The Tigers are beginning to immensely piss me off with their efforts of getting their best pitcher Jeremy Bonderman a friggin win, why because I have him in all three of my leagues. I'd be less upset if he wasn't pitching terrifically in every start, but he is and somehow someway the friggin Tiger's have botched it every single time. Bonderman's Game Logs 6 IP, 3 Rs, 3 Ks - Gave up 3 in the first and bounced back to throw 5 strong, Tigers score 3 the entire game and the bullpen blows the tie for the opening day loss. 6 IP, 2 Rs, 8 Ks - Tigers score absolutely no runs until they shell Riske in the 9th for 3 runs and win 3-2. 9 IP, 1 R, 4 Ks - Tigers score one run the entire game against Halladay and the bullpen blows it in the 10th for a 2-1 loss. 7 IP, 1 R, 6 Ks - Todd Jones blows a 2 run lead in the 9th to the friggin Royals and they go and lose in extras. So right now Bonderman's sitting with a 2.25 ERA, 4 Quality Starts, a WHIP of .857, and no friggin Ws. Mean

Nothing is bothering me lately more than this idiotic hammering home on the Mike and Mike show of their Greeny Rule and why you should reward winning. Well yesterday Dick Vitale, now a confirmed moron, wrote a column backing the rule and came on Mike and Mike to voice his opinion of switching around the lottery order. Now I've already hammered it home why I think the Greeny Rule is moronic , and why I think tanking gives us a fun extra storyline at the end of the year but I have another axe to grind with these clowns. The keep on bringing up the point that these bad teams should be forced to go out in free agency and bring in players to improve their teams and that losing shouldn't reward them with the best chance of bringing in the next superstar. The problem with that whole philosophy is that teams almost never win without massive success in the draft. How many big time superstar free agents have their been in the past few seasons? How many teams ever win because of t

~So the Red Sox are giving Dice-K the Pedro treatment, aka not scoring any runs for him. Pedro in his prime should have won 20 games every single season but didn't because the Red Sox for some reason seemingly shut down their potent offense when he took the mound, and thus far this season the Red Sox have done the same in 2 of the 3 Dice-K starts. Not saying that this pattern necessarily will continue, but he certainly has pitched very well. And it's not like the Red Sox should struggle to score runs against Gustavo Chacin, not like he's dominating at all. ~John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, and Greg Maddux all pitched yesterday, how weird is that. ~Has anyone in baseball this season been worse than Jorge Julio thus far this season? The Marlins desperate to pick up a closer sent a supposedly decent prospect to the D-Backs to get Julio to close. Within a week and a half Julio was bounced as the teams closer, sits on the roster at 0-2 with 2 blown saves. He's walked atleast

It's a sad day for Americans after such a senseless, senseless act. My best friend went to VaTech and is completely dedicated to Hokie nation and absolutely loved his time in Blacksburg and is a bit shaken. There's a good chance that I myself during the time I visited him stepped foot in that building myself as he had classes in the building throughout his college career and I spent a few hours in some computer labs around campus while he was in class. I understand the back tracking and saying that the police should have implored the president to shutdown campus but I think everything is monday morning quarterbacking, there's no history of this type of event ever. Nothing like this has ever happened, I'm sure the cops and the VaTech officials looked at everything and made what they thought was the best decision and that there was no threat to anyone outside the dorm. Unfortunately they were wrong, but there is absolutely no reason to put any of the blame on the presiden

With the major problems that have cropped up this season due to the weather (snow & massive rain) and extreme cold of this month of April there are a few simple steps to ease the pain of future months like this. I understand that the scheduling is very complex, especially considering the Mets, Yanks, Cubs, White Sox are never in town on the same day, and other problems but I think the major leagues should try to set some standards in the month of April in the future. 1) Obviously try to get as many games in at places that are either in warm weather or under a dome. This ensures that their won't be any snow outs or the even more ridiculous cold outs. Half the teams inthe AL fit the mold and almost half the teams in the NL fit the mold, these teams should have more home than road games the first month every year. AL Dome Teams - Toronto, Tampa, Minnesota, Chicago, Seattle AL Warm Weather Teams - LAA, Texas NL Dome Teams - Milwaukee, Arizona, Houston NL Warm Weather Teams - At

Even though he just might in fact qualify as the ugliest referee on the face of the planet.

Not sure if I believe this whole video footage, if it is real these guys have way way too much time on their hands...

~The wearing of the #42 jersey was pretty cool throughout the league, and I decided to browse a list of who wore the number . Turns out only two white players in the entire league chose to where the number, that being Jim Thome and Grady Sizemore. I don't know if I would have worn it if I was in the big leagues, but I'm surprised only two guys chose to wear the number and both of them just happened to be studs. ~It is pretty amazing how little Pub Larry Doby gets for being the second black man in baseball, the first in the AL, only two months later than Jackie Robinson. I'm not diminishing Robinson's role in American history, but Larry Doby had to go through much of the same racism and hit cities that Robinson hadn't been to yet. His role is only a notch below that of Jackie's and I'd be willing to bet that out of all the people that know the name Jackie Robinson, only about a 1/4 maximum have heard the name Larry Doby. ~Sorry BJ, but I just picked up J

So it's officially done the Celtics have finalized their tank job after their loss on friday night to the Milwaukee Bucks to clinch the 2nd worst record in the NBA. And Ryan Gomes let the not so secret tanking scheme out of the bag: "I probably (would have played), but since we were in the hunt for a high draft pick, of course things are different," Gomes said. "I understand that. Hopefully things get better. Now that we clinched at least having the second-most balls in the lottery, the last three games we'll see what happens. We'll see if we can go out and finish some games." Quote from Deadspin He's not saying anything anyone didn't know already. The Celtics started the tank job almost a full month ago when Doc blatantly threw a game against the Bobcats. And then a few weeks ago when Big Al and Pierce sat for the 'season'. In actuality Jefferson came back yesterday after they clinched the 2nd worst record. And most laughable of all giv

Note: This might be my worst post ever, I'm just really bored... To most Americans soccer begins and ends with the World Cup, to others it began and ended when they or their kids played youth soccer, to others it never started. But every year there is a tournament that is worth watching, and right now the British are crushing the competetion. The UEFA Champions is by far the most important yearly soccer tournament in the world, and is just a few notches below the World Cup in excitement, so watch it atleast once. Anyway onto the actually results of the tournament after I tried to give it some pub, the British are killing everyone. The Champions League typically consists of a maximum of 4 teams from any domestic league. For the English Premiership, that meant Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United and my boys Chelsea (picked them up when I was in London, right before they were bought by a multi-billionaire that dumped boatloads of money into the franchise and turned them into soccers

~I'm gonna take a day off from Imus, it makes me annoyed and I want to get the opinion of one of my friends before I drop a final comment. One thing I definately can say is that I agree with Whitlock even though for the most part I can't stand him. ~Mike and the Mad Dog are interviewing some guy that Russo is calling a Monday Morning Quarterbacker, it's pretty funny. Especially Russo, he's overly defensive of Imus, but he won't even let the guy talk. Russo isn't even listening to this guy, and just yelling. And asking the same question over and over again. ~Larry David is advising the Jets in their draft strategies? Um huh? The same guy that helped mastermind the greatest show on television is providing his input on who the Jets should draft, um ok. Hopefully they continue with their good drafting of last seasons and not their past epic failures . ~The whole Duke rape scandal was a disgrace, I'm glad it's over and I hope I never hear about it

This is my statistics project for the end of the semester. I think it's pretty friggin sweet that I will just look up baseball stats and call it school work, MBA = much easier than Bachelor's in Electrical Engineering. Well here's the ole project proposal, I'll be posting the results and analysis whenever I finish the project / do the work... When constructing a baseball lineup in any league whether it is the major leagues, a high school team or a little league team there have always been general guidelines to go by. Through this regression test I would like to find what if any correlation these guidelines have to the overall production of a major league offense or if all the premises I have been taught my whole life about building the ideal lineup are actually erroneous. With new theories about ideal hitters and looking at statistics developed through the ‘Moneyball’ philosophy it is important to see how or if these age old theories are still accurate. Dependent Variab

~King Felix > Dice-K, atleast for today. I think people last year while they were jumping off the King Felix bandwagon forgot the fact that he was only 20 and that most kids while their 20 are sitting on their ass eating doritos watching a baseball game. Right now after two weeks Felix looks like the best pitcher on the planet, will that keep up this season? Who knows? Should this kid win a Cy Young barring injury, absolutely. As for Dice-K, I wouldn't be upset if I was a Red Sox fan, I mean he only gave up 3 runs, not like he got shelled or anything. And he didn't give up any bombs or anything. He's gonna win 16-18 games. ~Mussina going down with a Hamstring injury certainly isn't good for the Yankees. I wonder how many times Karstens or Rasner will need to get bombed before Hughes is called up. Something to watch. ~Imus getting canned by MSNBC is pretty much nonsense. Oh well, I guess the sponsors were too afraid to have any negative reflection on themsel