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Showing posts from January, 2011

Creating a 2011 Taco Bell Super Bowl Commercial

Taco Bell is currently in the news for being sued over their fake beef. They have fought back with a full page newspaper ad saying their beef is 88% percent BEEF and 12% secret . Since I don't think a pansy one page newspaper ad with the guts and heart of Jay Cutler will be enough, I present to you the Taco Bell 2011 Super Bowl Commercial. It Starts with a Trip in a Limo to a Mystery Location (Yes it's the Stupid Dominoes Ad) To Some Random Feed Lot in Mexico... "Do You Think Taco Bell Wants You to Know What Their Beef is Made of? Do you Think you DESERVE to know what kind of Cow they Use? Well I have a surprise for you..." "Boom, Kenny Mother Fucking Powers loves tacos" "Ahhhhh the mullet, the Jheri curl juice, in the sauce?" "Shut up bitch and give me a blow job... Oh my lines. You know what's more powerful than a Kenny Powers Fastball?" "Fucking nothing that's right, but this comes close..."

The 2010 Playoffs Are About Revenge

In life there is often no bigger motivator than a previous failure and the desire to overcome it. The Human thirst for revenge and vengeance is an unending chain in our DNA. In this years playoffs, nothing has defined it more so than revenge. Wildcard Round January 24th, 2010: AFC Championship Game, New York Jets at Indianapolis Colts In Rex Ryan's season the Jets managed to shock everybody, not only by backing into the playoffs but by pulling off two road upsets to set up 60 minutes for a potential trip to the Super Bowl. It was not to be as the Colts and Peyton Manning led a swift comeback to put to 09 Jets where they belonged, not in the NFL Title Game. This loss stuck with Rex the entire season and resulted in a "This is Personal" theme prior to gameday... New York Jets 17 - Indianapolis Colts 16 November 21st, 2010: Seattle Seahawks at New Orleans Saints The Seahawks in the midst of their swan dive went into New Orleans in late November and came away with

Bart Scott Can't Wait...

Bart Scott Can't Wait... ...To Get Stiff Armed ...To Fall Down ..To STUFF MENDENHALL ...UH OH, Maybe Not ...To Watch Mendenhall Drag Me Into the Endzone ...To Watch Big Ben Fake Hand the Ball off to Me ...To Watch Big Ben Do the Endzone Strolling

What Should Brett Favre Do?

He should definitely send pictures of his purple helmet to Roger Goodell as a thank you for not suspending him.

Why Does Venus Williams Look Like a Basket?

"Hi, I'm Venus Williams. My sister has won 5 Grand Slams since the last time I won one, however I continually beat her in the ludicrous outfit category. Remember the nude shorts . Well now I bring to you... a woven basket on my stomach!"

Faces of Fail: Mr. Tom Brady 2011

Preparing to Fail, Tom Brady Fail GNAR MY TEETH, Tom Brady Fail Don't Touch Me Big Man, Tom Brady Fail :( Boo Hoo Sad Face, Tom Brady Fail On Bended Knee, Tom Brady Fail Sulking Tom, Tom Brady Fail OH COME ON, Tom Brady Fail KAPOW, Tom Brady Fail How's My D*** Taste, Tom Brady Fail The Scoreboard is Wrong, Tom Brady Fail Staring into the Abyss, Tom Brady Fail Good Game Tom, Tom Brady Fail Leave Me Alone Nacho, Tom Brady Fail It's Ok Big Guy, Tom Brady Fail

It's Time to Change the NFL Seeding Policy

Let me get this out of the way first and foremost. As a Jet fan it is mildly annoying to me that despite having a superior record than both the Chiefs and Colts they are relogated to the #6 spot and a road playoff game thanks to being in the same division as this man (I hate you). With that being said, let me present to you the biggest reason why it is time for the NFL to change their seeding policy, and it is not "Boo Hoo the Jets don't get a home game" sour grapes. The NFL in Week 17 was and is always littered with absolutely positively MEANINGLESS football. 1) The Eagles had clinched the 3 Seed and a Home Playoff Game. 2) The Jets had clinched the 6 seed and a Road Playoff Game. 3) The Chiefs had clinched the division and a Home Playoff Game. 4) The Saints had clinched the 5 Seed and a Road Playoff Game. 5) The Bears had clinched the 2 Seed and a 1st round bye. 6) The Pats clinched the #1 seed. Of those 5 games, the Jets and Eagles didn't even remotely