Scene: Eli taps Tony's ass after the game this weekend to begin discussions while Lorenzen sits in the background screaming for his lover's attention.
Eli: Hey Hey Tony over here I want to talk to you about your championship?
Tony: About what championship?
Eli: You know the one bestowed upon you by Peter King.
Jared: Eli... Eli, why did you just touch Tony's ass. Eli!!!
Tony: What the hell are you talking about?
Eli: You know how you lead the league in smiling. That's pretty impressive.
Tony: Um ok that's super Eli.
Eli: Well I was just saying you aren't smiling right now and I think you look a lot cuter when you're smiling and well I think you should start smiling again.
Jared: I have a great smile, a really great smile. I'm the #1 smiler in America for backup quarterbacks over 300 pounds.
Tony: Well I did just get hammered by your defensive line and I am now 0-2 as a playoff starter.
Eli: Oh don't worry about the 0-2 thing, look at me I was 0-2 last year and now I'm .500 just like my brother. All you need is to play the Cowboys, they never win playoff games anymore.
Tony: Umm, you're an idiot.
Eli: Can I go with you to Cabo? I'll skip practice this week just like you did. Please Tony please? I love your smiles.... I guess it's back to the Pillsbury Throwboy.
Jared: Yay Eli is coming back to me.
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