Skip to main content

NFL Week 1 Awards

Wow You Guys Suck: Baltimore Ravens Offense, Things you probably don't want to start the season off doing; throwing two interceptions and fumbling away the ball 4 times. Your defense is good, but it isn't good enough to overcome that. Throw in the fact that Ed Reed scored one of the Ravens touchdowns and their offense just sucks. Runners Up: Kansas City Chiefs putting up 3 points against Houston nice job, New York Defenses apparently if you're in New York you forgot how to rush the quarterback.

Cough Cough Cough: Joey Harrington, If someone told you Joey Harrington was going to lead a team to victory by throwing two touchdown passes, the typical football fan would say wow good for the Falcons and Joey Harrington stepping up for the Dog Fighter. The smart football fan would say, which Vikings returned the interceptions for touchdowns? Runners Up: ButterFingers McNair with 3 fumbles and a pick, Saints Cornerback Jason David who forgot that he is no longer a Colt.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Romeo Crennel, At some point in time Romeo is going to realize that if his team sucks yet again that they he's going to be on the unemployment line and he won't be getting another head coaching job anytime soon. Atleast if he plays Brady Quinn he has a built in excuse for why they suck, and maybe just maybe if they go like 7-9 he'll be able to keep his job. So start playing Quinn. Runner Up: The Officials in the Ravens game for calling Hype on Offensive Pass Interference on what should have been a TD reception, To Philadelphia Punt returners who were the sole reason for their team losing you can fair catch the ball.

The Shocker: Houston Texans, Yes I know many people thought the Chiefs were going to be bad this season, and I even I had them at 6-10 but I didn't expect a 20-3 beatdown at the hands of the Texans. Runners Up: The Titans going into Jax and shocking the Jags perhaps Leftwich should have started, The Saints scoring 3 points on offense against the defending Superbowl champs.

The Pimp: Tony Homo, the Homo looked good probably because the Giants were falling a part left and right and because they aren't very good when healthy either. Runners Up: Peyton Manning certainly torched his former teammate with ease, The Pats O-Line they manhandled the Jets for the entire 60 minutes.

You Got JAKKED UP: Rex Grossman, As soon as a tuned int o the Bear Charger game the Bears decided that they were not going to block the Chargers left end and let him get a free run helmet into Grossman's chest. Solid strategy.

My Fantasy MVP: Eli Manning, I hyped up Eli big time for this fantasy season and drafted as one of my two QBs in both leagues and he certainly came through week 1 against the dreadful Cowboy defense. I just hope that the Giants reports are more accurate than the ESPN reports.

New York Jets MVP: Chad Pennington, Unlike the rest of the dickehead Jet fans I plan on acknowledging the fact that Pennington was the best Jet on the field this weekend. He didn't make any glaring mistakes and let two solid touchdown drives. The defense sucked, and so did the offensive line. Nothing was Pennington's fault.

My Picks

My Picks: 12-4
Preseason Picks: 12-4
Picks Vs. Spread: 10-6

I actually did well the first week of the season which is nice. Lost the Chiefs, Jags, Rams and the Cards. So if the clown fell on the ball last night I would have gone 13-3.

Comments

Anonymous said…
12-4 Simon? We are going to need better than that.

Popular posts from this blog

Lou Holtz is the Homer / Annoyingly Delusional

As my buddy Joe and I always joke, if Notre Dame was suiting up against an all Jesus team, aka a team made up of 55 Sons of God, Lou Holtz would probably still pick Notre Dame to win by a touchdown. So of course this weekend when I'm watching Sportscenter and they have him and fellow old man Corso making predictions, Lou picks ND to beat Michigan. Not that big of a deal, Michigan is a big question mark this year, but of course than Lou says that Notre Dame will win 11 games this year. This is the same Notre Dame that lost to a service academy last year. And just when you thought the douchy homerism was going to end ESPN asks which BCS school is going to be the biggest surprise team in the country. Any guesses to whom it was? I'll give you a clue it was another team he coached. If you guessed South Carolina you would be a winner. Next up on Lou's prediction watch, the Jets win the Superbowl, NC St. wins the ACC, Arkansas dominates the SEC West, Minnesota wins the Big

M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

Ranking the New York Jets Historical Helmets

There's no way you can't go with the Helmet they won the Super Bowl in. You just can't. Next, I really don't understand why they don't where the helmet with the Jet as their throwback uniforms. That helmet is awesome. Then I'm going with the Helmets from the 80s because it's the classic feel and the white face mask is 10 times better than the black one. And the rankings continue until you get to... The Titans Helmet. I hate everything about those Titan uniforms. The Helmets are boring and the colors are GOD awful. Navy blue and Mustard? What the hell is that. Disgusting. If they wore those unis when I was a kid I'd probably be a Giant fan, and be much happier with my life in football.