Sometimes Pink Pants Just Aren't Enough

In the end the pink pants just weren't enough. After a ton of rain throughout the tournament the outfits worn by all the golfers were tame and boring in comparison to the colorful array that comprised the Masters. But then there was the shining star of the ridiculous, Ian Poulter, on Sunday at the British Open flaunting pastel pink pants. And not only was he flaunting the only colored pants in contention he was flaunting them at the top of the leaderboard. He was tied for the lead with Paddy Irishman, and was chilling on the 17th green with an Eagle putt to come.

And then in a flash his chances were gone. The dreaded three putt came and the Eagle putt and the chance for sole possession of the lead, became a one stroke deficit as Paddy Irishman drained his own birdie putt. Poulter Pink Pants managed to garner one more fist pump on the 18th when he saved par and put a little pressure back on Paddy Irishman to play at least +1 golf on his final 6 holes. But alas, Paddy Irishman did not want drama, he did not want to watch Poulter Pink Pants play any more holes. He wanted to land his 2nd shot on the 17th green like Poulter Pink Pants. But rather than 3-putting he desired to drain the birdie and kill all suspense.

It's too bad, a man that looks that ridiculous should be given a better chance on the final day. Especially when Paddy Irishman brings the snooze to golf outfits.

Black Pocket Woods

I've never heard of Chris Wood and well why should I, he's an amateur and a Brit one at that. Yet, perhaps inspired with his partnering with Poulter Pink Pants, he brought out the equally ridiculous. Some sort of puke green/yellow colored pants with ludicrous looking black pockets. And what happened? He came in a tie for 5th. Yet, again a good result for the fashion flare, but never the top prize.

Shark's a Snoozer

For all that was cool about the Shark pushing himself into the final pairing and with a 2 stroke lead to boot, his performance on sunday was miserable. First off he owns his own damn stupid fashion line and he comes with cream pants and a black sweater, boring. And then he goes out and shoots a 77 thus eliminating any kind of drama on the final 5 holes.

Where Are the Good Players

Ernie, Phil and Vajay all eliminated themselves from contention on day 1. Hey, newsflash jackasses, but Tiger wasn't there. You know, the guy that wins majors all the time. Perhaps this would have been a good tournament to play well at. Or not. And it wasn't just them. Sergio and Retief were still in contention coming into the weekend and both shat the bed completely. KJ Choi dropped a deuce in his pants on Saturday. Spiderman, followed up his -5 with a +8.

My Predictions = Bogus

Contender Picks: Ernie Els (T7), Justin Rose (T70), Camilo Villegas (T39), Lee Westwood (T67)

Els shot an 80 in the first round to jump out of contention. Rose shot an 82 on saturday to plummet out of contention. Villegas shot a 79 on saturday to eliminate his -5 on friday. And Westwood shot a 78 on saturday and never shot better than +3.

Miss the Cut Picks: Fatty Phil (T17), Tom Watson (Missed Cut), Rory Sabbatini (Missed Cut)

Fatty Phil shot a 68 on friday to make the cut by a stroke. Watson and Rory both stunk it up on the weekdays to miss out.

Winner (or Total Loser): Sergio (T51)

Sergio was still in it at +5 going into the weekend, wasn't completely out of it sitting at even par for the day and +9 for the tournament heading into the back nine on sunday. And then he bogeyed or double bogeyed each of the next five holes and topped it off with a bogey on the 18th to finish +8 for the day and +17 for the tourney. Loser.