Hell Hath Frozen Over in the Baseball World

Throw all the cliches out there Hell Hath Frozen Over, When Pigs Fly, etc. only during these times would you ever think that these ludicrous contracts being thrown around Major League Baseball would happen. Every day goes by this major league offseason and seemingly a new ridiculous illogical contract is being thrown around, and thus far none have come from the New York Yankees. Has the world been flipped upside down? Here's a listing of some of the biggest albatross free agent contracts.

Poor Little Red Sox Financial Issues

The Red Sox brass complained during the middle of the season that they could not hang with the money machine Evil Empire and come the first week of Decemeber the Red Sox have shelled out two big contracts and completely blew the Yankees bid for Japanese star Daisuke Matsuzaka out of the water.

Julio Lugo - I don't think this deal is that bad 36 million for 4 years, but it has to be said that he is making much more money than Jose Reyes, who should have his agent fired on the spot.

JD Drew - As a noted yesterday their had to be some sort of foul play in this contract. JD has always been an above average hitter and fielder, a solid baseball player but the guy hasn't made an all star team for good reason, he isn't a superstar caliber player. One has to contemplate why they let glue guy Johnny Damon go in favor of bringing in JD Drew, for much more money.

Daisuke Matsuzaka - Hell come the middle of the season, maybe even the end of this offseason the $51 million dollars the Red Sox spit out to simply talk to Matsuzaka might just be a steal. It will be interesting to see how well Eppy can use his leverage in signing Matsuzaka, although it has to be said that it appears as if he's already been fleeced once by Boras with the Drew signing. One things for certain watching some video on youtube of this kid he is for real. His breaking ball breaks hard really hard and does not look overly hittable. At worst Matsuzaka will be a #2 starter for the duration of this contract and if they can get him for anywhere from 6-8 million a year and establish a solid market for Red Sox baseball in Japan it will be a good move. But still that figure of 51 million dollars just to talk to the Devil, didn't ever see that coming.

When Did Mediocre Outfielders Become a Premium

We've seen in the past middle of the pack pitchers getting 8 figures a year, but middle of the pack outfielder landing such lucrative contracts this is a first.

Juan Pierre - So a player who has declined in each of the past two seasons is obviously heavily rewarded right? Makes sense, especially for the Dodgers who already have a more than servicable lead off hitter in Rafael Furcal. In addition have you ever seen Juan Pierre throw a baseball, if not I'll give you three other pieces of comparison Johnny Damon, Bernie Williams, or an 10 year old pre-pubecent boy. 5 years 44 million for a guy who's about as likely to hit ball out of the outfield as a lifesized Gumby makes perfect sense.

Gary Matthews - Amazing one a single very good season does for a player in his contract year. Of course Matthews could replicate his 2005 for the duration of the 5 year 50 million dollar deal, or he could just as easily revert back to the .255 Gary Matthews of 2004 or even worse the player that bounced around the league from job to job with no success like Geroge on Seinfeld. 10 million a year, damn.

The Mediocre Pitcher Brigade

When looking at the contracts being sent out day after day to mediocre pitchers any man with a decent baseball memory sees flashes of Darren Dreifort and Carl Pavano swimming around in a Scrooge McDuck like money pit.

Adam Eaton - Coming off an injury riddled season, which followed a solid season with the Padres where the Padres liked him so much that they traded him away, the Phillies dropped a cool 24.5 million for 3 years to gain his services. Then the Phillies proceeded to trade for Freddy Garcia to give themselves excess starting pitchers. Huh?

Ted Lilly - Ted Lilly is a fine pitcher and I think his numbers will improve with his move to the National League despite the Friendly Confines of Wrigley Fields propensity for home run hitting winds. But lets be straight, Ted Lilly is not, never was, nor ever will be a staff ace. At best his stats show him to be a reliable 3rd or 4th starter in a rotation.

Vicente Padilla - Chances Vicente Padilla hits the buffet table with full force now they he is on the verge of finalizing his 3 year 34 million dollar deal with the Rangers. What's the over under on his weight next season? 290? This is typical Rangers, we need pitching so let's give a big time contract to a guy that's had a good season or two spread out throughout his career. Padilla had a solid season last year winning 15 games, but his ERA was 4.50 far from stellar. Any is it just me or does he seem like one of those contract year players who is going to put it into cruise control now that he got his one big contract of his career.

Gil Meche - I remember a few years back my father picked up Gil Meche for his fantasy team, which was immediately followed by me saying, huh, who the heck is Gil Meche. Well a few years and injuries later Gil Meche has turned into a decent middle of the pack pitcher deserving of a decent contract in the market. What you're telling me that he just signed a 5 year $55 Million deal with huh, who, the Royals? Why does it seem like whenever the Royals decide they are going to spend money the pay prime dollars for non-premium players. Last year they brought in Grudzielanek and Reggie Sanders, just once maybe they could make a significant free agent splash or hold onto key franchise players, say Carlos Beltran. Instead Royal fans get Gil Meche, I'm sure he'll sell tons of Royals Season Preview Guides. Talk about burning money.

The 9 Figure Club

Carlos Lee - Man the Astros were desperate to put another bat together with Lance Berkman. While I certainly won't complain fantasy wise, a 6 year deal for $100 dollars for a guy who is already atrocious in the outfield and is more ready to model for a plus size catalog than UnderArmour seems a bit extreme. Honestly who would be more round Carlos Lee or you in a sumo suit, my guess is Lee.

Alfonso Soriano - Soriano is an incredible player, who shows the great and rare speed and power combination, but the guy is in fact 30 and no one should ever get an 8 year deal period nevermind one for 136 million. In addition Soriano will be A) Hitting leadoff and B) Playing Centerfield. Two things that don't make any sense. While Soriano has great speed, his OBP is terrible for a leadoff hitter and his power is under utilized from that spot. And while he's a great athlete, you don't become a good major league center fielder in the span of a year. If he had gotten this contract 3 years ago when the Yankees traded him to the Rangers, when his age magically jumped from 25 to 27, and he was still playing 2nd base it might have made sense. Now, not so much.

The Tribune Company Loves Spending Cash

I thought the Tribune Company wanted to seel the franchise, well if they plan on it they are certainly doing so by treating it like a beat up Honda that you get rims, nice speakers, some nitrous, etc. and in the end the upgrades cost more than the overall car. In addition to Soriano and Ted Lilly the Cubs have grabbed...

Aramis Ramirez - 75 Million over 5 years. One of the best 3rd baseman in the league, but 15 million per seems a bit extreme.
Henry Blanco - 2 years 5.25 million.
Mark DeRosa - 3 years 13 million.
Wade Miller - 1 year 1.5 million.
Kerry Wood - 1 year 1.75 million.

How Can I Write About Money and Not Include...

Arod - I was listening to Michael Kay on the radio, sometimes informative sometimes utterly irritating, brought up a logical statement that prior to October seemed ludicrous. Arod who is set to take in around 26 million dollars a year for the next 4 years, has an option at the end of this season, exactly the same as JD Drew's (Call it the Scott Boras satanic option to leave massive cash behind), to completely void his contract. This clause could be Arod's way to leave the Yankees without being traded, use the excuse I'm greedy I want a big time extension and the Yankees aren't going to give it to me. While Arod is steadfast in saying he wants to stay with the Yankees now, is it not foreseeable that another year of Boos might have Arod thinking, 20 million per for another 7-8 seasons outside of NYC could be great. Who would have thought that 25 million per wouldn't be enough, talk about a When Pigs Fly situation.

More than ever I wish I was a run of the mill major league baseball cause now that gets you 8 figures.