Dear Jack Daniels

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Dear Jack Daniels,

I just wanted to let you know that you'll be seeing a lot of me these next few days. I plan on being blacked out from now til monday. I really don't want to watch my team play baseball anymore. We can't even beat the Nationals. In September we've only won 8 games. It's ugly, I can't take it anymore.

Hell I just might try to get so drunk I erase the memory of the last 6 months. Nothing good has happenned so I will likely feel better about myself.

I Just Lined Up 12 Shots,
Jerry Manual

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Week 4 Blogpoll Is Up

I'm Once again Top 5 Mr. Bold, but no still not Manic. Enjoy the only relatively sane poll out there.

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This is the Dumbest Sports Moment I Have Ever Seen

Skip to 1:27...

Seriously if you were told to draw up the dumbest play you could ever see, would you even fathom someone being stupid enough to do that? I hope for the kids sake he's a little better in the classroom than he is on the football field else I fear he may not amount to much in life.

Courtesy of Hot Clicks

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It All Rests on Pavano

After last nights loss the Twins fell back to a deficit of 2 games with just 5 games to be played. Another loss today would move the Tigers magic number to 2 games with just 4 to play. It's imperative that the Twins win today and set themselves up for an opportunity to tie the Tigers tomorrow, rather than giving the Tigers the opportunity to clinch. And thus today there is no man more important to the the Twins than Carl Pavano. Yes that Carl Pavano.

Who would have thought that after wrapping up the worst contract in the history of baseball (recording just 9 wins in 4 seasons) that any team would be depending on Pavano for their playoff run. But here we sit on September 30th and Carl Pavano is and has been an essential piece in the Twins attempt to overtake the Tigers. Since being traded to the Twins he's gone 4-3 in 10 starts pitching to a 3.84 ERA. But that doesn't tell the whole story. The Twins are actually 7-3 in his starts. And today they hope to make that 8-3.

Should I be bitter and hope that Pavano falls flat on his face? Probably not, because seriously what kind of grown man holds a grudge. Do I hope he falls flat on his face? Yes, screw'em.

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It Was Nice to See You Again Farny

Thanks for the Walk Off Win.

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Week 4 Blogpoll

Before you yell and say where is so and so team, please read my polling philosophy and then yell afterwards.

And down go the cupcake munchers of Ole Miss and Penn State. They garnered thew token 24th and 25tgh spots last week and got the boot. In other bootings, FSU is a good this week poor the next week team and Washington isn't actually for real.

1. Alabama - Bama just knocked Arkansas upside the head, and with the Hokies dominating the U, their neutral field win looks awfully nice. Quality Wins: Virginia Tech(n)

2. Houston - The Cougars knock off one more Big 12 team and are ready to embark on their Conference USA schedule with one SEC opponent (Miss St.) also on tap. Quality Wins: @Oklahoma State, Texas Tech

3. Boise State - The best thing that can happen to Boise State is for the Oregon Ducks to win out, and Oregon's 42-3 victory on saturday was a step in the right direction. Quality Wins: Oregon

4. Virginia Tech - You do not come into Blacksburg and talk a bunch of shit about Beamer ball and not expect your punt to get blocked. Quality Wins: Nebraska, Miami

5. Cincinnati - The Bearcats get another not too shabby win against Fresno and are looking like the power of the Big East. Quality Wins: @Rutgers, @Oregon State

6. Florida - We'll give them a little extra dap for knocking off Kentucky until a few weks from now we realize that Kentucky isn't actually any good. Now they have two weeks to get Tebow's brain functional again. Quality Wins: Tennessee, Kentucky

7. Iowa - Knocking off Joe Pa twice in a row gets Ferentz another contract extension. Quality Wins: @Penn State

8. Miami - The Hurricanes getting pummeled is not a good thing, and neither was FSU losing to South Florida. But GT powered through UNC last week and the Hokies are obviously a very very good team so the U will sit in the top 10 for another week until we see what they do against Bradford-less Oklahoma. Quality Wins: @FSU, GT -- Bad Loss: @VT

9. UCLA - Off a week Quality Wins: @Tennessee

10. Michigan - Barely came back against Indiana, but perhaps the Hoosiers aren't as terrible as they usually are. Quality Wins: Notre Dame

11. LSU - Not really a fault of their own, but Washington lost to Stanford so once again the win is downgraded. Quality Wins: @Washington

12. Oregon - Well hello Oregon. Perhaps writing you off after your week 1 catastrophy in Boise was a bad idea. Quality Wins: Utah, Cal

13-15 Okie State, UGA, South Carolina
We're putting them in a jumble. UGA and South Carolina have two solid Ws. But we're going in order of defeats.

16-17 USC & BYU
One great win and one relatively bad loss.

18. Auburn - Auburn is cruising at the start of the year but the last 5 weeks is much much harder than the first 7. Quality Wins: West Virginia

19. Texas - Texas Tech suffers another loss and really I could care less what Texas does against UTEP. Congrats on the meaningless beatdown. Wake me when they play Oklahoma or schedule a OOC team of any merit. Quality Wins: Texas Tech

20-25 If you want an explanation comment and I'll get to it.

1 Alabama
2 Houston 2
3 Boise State 2
4 Virginia Tech 5
5 Cincinnati 1
6 Florida 1
7 Iowa
8 Miami (Florida) 6
9 UCLA 1
10 Michigan
11 LSU 8
12 Oregon
13 Oklahoma State 7
14 Georgia 7
15 South Carolina
16 Southern Cal 1
17 Brigham Young 1
18 Auburn
19 Texas 7
20 Georgia Tech 2
21 Missouri 4
22 Ohio State
23 South Florida
24 TCU
25 California 14

Last week's ballot
Dropped Out: Florida State (#13), Washington (#14), North Carolina (#19), West Virginia (#23), Mississippi (#24), Penn State (#25).

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The NL Better Start Pulling for the Rockies

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

As the playoffs approach and the Phillies, Dodgers and Cardinals can start to relax one thing is for certain, their eyes will be keen on the success of the Rockies the next six days. Why? Because I guarantee that none of them really want to play the Braves in the playoffs.

The Braves are on fire now. They sport by far the deepest rotation in the National League right now and perhaps all of baseball. Jair Jurrjens is a bonafied ace. Tommy Hanson is a burgeoning superstar in the making. Derek Lowe is a veteran with ample post season experience. Javier Vasquez is having arguably the best season of his career. Hell even Tim Hudson has pitched well since battling back from offseason surgery. The rotation is stacked and deep, and in a 5 or 7 game series they will be very very difficult to beat.

The problem is, they only have six days to make up the ground on Colorado. After last night the Braves have surged to within two games of the Rockies and if the season lasted more than just this week, I'd put my money on the Braves surpassing Colorado. But again, they must rely on other teams to beat the Rockies this week and well some teams might not be motivated. Like say the Dodgers.

The Dodgers in fact have some control over this playoff scenario. On friday the Dodgers embark on a 3 game series against the Rockies. Lack of Motivation #1: At this point they will likely have clinched the NL West and will be resting and prepping for the postseason. Lack of Motivation #2: In addition if they go out and beat the Rockies and help the Braves get into the playoffs, it might not be to their advantage to play them rather than the Phillies or Cards.

So while the Braves are the hottest team and quite possibly the most dangerous team in baseball right now, they just might be too little too late.

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The Last Trip to Yankee Stadium for 2009

I made my final trip to Yankee stadium for 2009 last night(barring the luck of stumbling into playoff tickets), and well I got the C- squad (Juan Miranda?) and a 90+ minute rain delay. But it was well worth it because I went to the Yankee Stadium museum for the first time and saw the greatest piece of sports memorabilia in the history of a Universe.

That's right, it's a signed Felix Heredia ball. Name me another franchise that can claim such great history as Heredia, aka The Exit Sign. Take that Boston.

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NFL Week 3 Awards

Wow You Guys Suck: Tampa Bay Bucs, The Bucs steal away to You Guys Suck award from the Rams this week because they couldn't garner a first down through nearly THREE quarters. Yes three quarters. Maybe firing Gruden was a poor decision. Runners Up: the Rams they can't be left out, the Browns who are also in a battle for worst team in the NFL, and really you must mention the Redskins breaking the Lions streak.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Steve Smith, I know we like to pick on Jake Delhomme for his thirty seven interceptions including countless pick sixes, but yesterdays pick six can be thrust straight on Steve Smith's shoulders. It makes no logical sense why he would take 4 steps like he was running a slant, and then decide fuck it, I'm going to go straight. Way to fake out your quarterback and kill your team. Runners Up: Ryan Mouton and his non sticky fingers, Chad Pennington's shoulder.

Cough Cough Cough: Chris Brown, Down seven with the ball on the two with two minutes to go and multiple plays to get it in the endzone, what is the one thing you can not do as a running back. Fumble the ball. And that's exactly what Chris Brown did. Game over. Runners Up: the 49ers prevent defense providing us with countless Brett Favre dick sucking, the Steelers inability to stop Carson Palmer on 4th down twice.

The Shocker: The Bungles, Back to back shockers for the Bungles? Who knew they were going to be any good this year. I kind of thought they were going to keep the game close against the Steelers, but I didn't think they would win. Runners Up: the .

The Pimp: Maurice Jones-Drew, Hey look he's back. This is why he was the second pick in your draft, to score 3 touchdowns and rush for a shit load of yards. Runners Up: Peyton Manning <3s TDs, the Giants defense.

You Got JAKKED UP: Goodnight Mr. Tebow,

My Fantasy MVP: Kevin Kolb, If you're going to fill in for McNabb and throw for 3 tds and 330 yards every week, than please just break another of McNabb's McRibs.

New York Jets MVP: Kris Jenkins, The man is a beast. He destroys the Center/Guard double time and swallows running backs 4 yards deep in the backfield.

My Picks

My Picks: 12-4
Preseason Picks: 7-9
Picks Vs. Spread: 11-5
Pick Suggestions: 3-2

A step in the right direction.

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It's Yankee Celebration Time

Monday, September 28, 2009

From 0-8 to 9-9 with a division title and 100 games won. It was a solid weekend sweep for the Yanks, and they have champagne and beer dousing pics to prove it.

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The Coaches Poll is Turrible

In theory polling is an exercise that should be done for the purpose of fun and creating talking points within the college football fan community. In reality it is a system which is responsible for deciding who plays in the National Championship game. In theory last weeks poll should have little to no effect on the entries for this weeks poll. In reality most pollsters are unable to do anything but look at records and last weeks ranking and adjust accordingly.

By far the worst poll in college football is the coaches poll. Its meant to be a poll voted on by those that know the game the best, the coaches that are there week in and week out on saturday. In reality the poll is voted on by the some assistant in the coaching staff that is not important enough to be too busy to fill out the ballot. And thus you get garbage like this weeks poll which has zero logic other than the inability of folks to strip away their initial preseason assumptions.

Example #1: Penn State vs. Iowa, Penn State has beat nobody this season. Iowa just went into Happy Valley and defeated the Nittany Lions to remain unbeaten. Penn State is ranked 13th and Iowa is ranked 17th. Makes sense.

Example #2: South Carolina vs. Ole Miss, South Carolina beat the snot out of Jevan Snead and forced him to go 7-21. Both teams sit with 1 loss, with the Cocks loss coming by a few points to UGA. Ole Miss has beaten two cupcakes. Ole Miss is ranked and South Carolina is no where to be found. Logical.

Example #3: Houston vs. Okie State Houston is undefeated, beat Okie State on the road and beat Texas Tech. The Cowboys lost to Houston and beat UGA. So it makes sense that Okie State is ranked 3 spots ahead of the Cougars.

You can go on and on with illogical rankings in the coaches poll as long as your hearts content. But we'll leave it at 3 solid examples and move onto my preliminary rankings for week 4.

1 Alabama
2 Houston 2
3 Boise State 2
4 Virginia Tech 5
5 Iowa
6 Cincinnati
7 Florida
8 LSU 5
9 Miami (Florida) 7
10 Michigan
11 UCLA 3
12 Southern Cal 3
13 Brigham Young 3
14 Auburn 4
15 Texas 3
16 Oregon
17 Georgia 4
18 South Carolina
19 Oklahoma State 1
20 Georgia Tech 2
21 Missouri 4
22 Ohio State
23 South Florida
24 TCU
25 California 14

Last week's ballot
Dropped Out: Florida State (#13), Washington (#14), North Carolina (#19), West Virginia (#23), Mississippi (#24), Penn State (#25).

Again these are preliminary and will probably change some come the official rankings tomorrow or wednesday. Please yell at me if I messed something up like the coaches I scolded above.

Oh and just for shits and giggles, please someone explain to me why PSU is #13 and Ole Miss is #18, when A) They both have beat nobody, B) Ole Miss was deemed better by the pollsters the previous weeks, and C) Ole Miss lost on the road by less points to a team likely of similar quality.

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