Week 4 College Football Picture Caption

1. And this is the moment the entire state of Florida blacked out, they called it a Flash Forward.
2. Don't Die on me Tebow.
3. The best part is that the Kentucky player jumped up and down in celebration, despite the fact they were losing 31-7.

1. Fan #1: Yo dude, pass me tha weed you stuffed in your coconuts.
2. Fan #2: The green light saber helped me use the force to stop Jahvid Best in his tracks.
3. Fan #3: I'm Nacho-Duck Libre.

1. Nutt Busted...
2. He looks like a very salty nutt.
3. This Nutt is not the #4 best Nutt in the country.

1. YEEEEEEHAAAWWWWW!!!!
2. How about them Iowa folks give me another contract extension, this one can go to 2040!
3. Nothing is better than smashing that old bag chances at a national title game.

1. Apparently they make hippies in Nebraska.
2. Do they smoke corn husks or pot?
3. Or do mix it all up into a single concoction called Nebraska porn?

1. Oh poor Joe Pa can't beat a team that isn't a cupcake. Poor old man.
2. Iowa likes to beat old men.
3. The towel is on his shoulders just in case he has an accident in his pants.

1. Just when Baylor thought they were going to turn around their football program, devastation happens.
2. And its time to get a new ACL.
3. This is the picture that will explain why Baylor loses the rest of their games this season.

1. Ooh Gang Rape
2. If you go helmet to skull, is that more than a 15 yard penalty, or is it the same as a helmet to helmet tackle?
3. And yet somehow I bet this kid felt better than Tebow.

1. Dez Bryant is Super Human...
2. He needs only his pinky to catch balls thrown at a 140 miles per hour
3. And of course, he can cure Cancer...

1. Beamer is less than pleased in the fact that Miami talked trash about Beamerball thus he...
2. Decided to have his special teams block a Miami punt...
3. And Decided to beat the shit out of their quarterback...

1. Sorry but the ball will not answer any of your prayers.
2. Instead you must pray to the former Cardinal God that was Petrino.
3. Unfortunately, his star is fading rapidly as well.

Numbers On Steroids: Mickey Mantle

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. This week it's throwing a curve ball and looking at All Time Great Yankees. Players that we know did not take steroids to see if this gives a defense to any of the players 'convicted' by Numbers on Steroids. Time to look at my dad's favorite athlete of all time, Mickey Mantle. Averages Say: What's with the mysterious dip at 27 and then the uptick? At Bats Per Home Run Says: That's a mighty jump from 22 to 24 Explaining As If It Was the 90s If you take a look at the numbers there are two time frames which in the 1990s would be questioned. First would be the incredible leap he took from his first year in the big leagues to his first MVP season in 1956. His batting average jumped 50 points. His slugging percentage jumped 90 points and he hit 15 more homers than his previous high. This wouldn't merrit a conviction nowadays though because the young age he...

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This Is Why the New York Mets Can't Win Anymore

It's pretty simple why the Mets can't win games anymore and are morphing into the second worst team in the National League, they can't score runs. The below chart shows exactly whats happenned to their offensive output since each of the major devastating injuries. The blue line shows runs scored for each game through out the season. The pink line shows the average runs the Mets scored when they had everyone, the yellow when they were missing Delgado, the light blue when they were missing Delgado and Reyes, and finally the purple when they were missing Delgado, Reyes and Beltran. In the abscence of Reyes, Delgado and Beltran the Mets are averaging barely over 3 runs per game. In stark contrast, with everyone on the roster the Mets were scoring just over 5 runs per game. That's a wholesale difference and why their roster now equals a lot of losses and a day by day progression further out of a playoff spot.

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