The Agony of The Weekend of Football

Coming into this past weekend I had the opportunity as a fan to enjoy the greatest of all weekends. My college team had the opportunity of a life time to win against their biggest rival and head to the National Championship game in a blaze of glory and my pro team had a chance to improve to 6-4 with only terrible teams remaining on their schedule. Oh and it gets worse than just the losses of both of those teams.

Michigan vs. Ohio St.

Even if you aren't a fan of either of these teams if you are remotely a fan of college football you had to be pumped up for this contest. I as a big time Michigan fan was of course hyped for the showdown. It was all I could think about on friday and I even dragged my hungover ass out of bed on Saturday morning to watch College Gameday. And this is when things started to go awry. Lee Corso was saying his typical idiotic things saying Ohio St. defense was so good that Michigan might not even be able to score on them. So you know what that means, he's going to pick Michigan to win, and 75% of Lee's picks are wrong. So what does he do come 11:59 ya he throws on the Wolverine helmet. Great, super start to the day.

So I throw on the BC game its a bust, head to the gym come back to watch pregame. Nothing gets me upset on pregame, although its blatantly obvious come the picks that only dumbass Lee is riding the Michigan train.

3:30 and the head to the field. As a Michigan fan I have to admit that Script Ohio is pretty cool. I personally think the whole weaving of the lines is more interesting than the dotting of the i. But either way Script Ohio is classic.

I throw on my Michgan jersey sit in my seat and tune in to the great opening drive and think holy shit Michigan just torched that defense so bad, that was a grat start. Then of course Ohio St. comes right back down the field converts about 300 3rd downs and scores a td.

Biggest play of the Michigan game that no one is talking about, 2nd drive Mario Manningham pulls a double move jukes the corner out of his jock is wide open for what could have been a td put the Wolverines up 14-7 instead he overthrows Mario and as soon as you blink Ohio St. is up 21-7.

Hart bashes his way to make it 21-14 and I think ok thats not bad come on hold them here 7 isn't bad. Nope, Michigan's D is continued to be torched, 5 wide is unstoppable. I'm ticked off already games not over yet, but atleast I'm going to get myself some chinese food.

And who knew maybe the Chinese food was good luck but I get back to my house just before half time is over, sit at my kitchen table munch down some General Tso's, an eggroll and some fried dumplings and sooner than I could finish and the Wolverines are only down by 4.

They of course trade scores and I'm confused how this great run defense got gashed for two 50 yard runs but hey we're only down 4 we stop Smith on this drive and we got a chance. 3rd and 15 incomplete, what a flag oh come on not a roughing the QB? I knew it before they even shown the replay. F****CCCCCKKKK. Of course they go down and score a td now. I respond maturely and throw my remote at one of those Ab balls I have in my living room, not a good idea the remote bounces off the ball across the room smashes into a window batteries fly everywhere. Super, I'm an idiot.

The Wolverines manage to drive down the field with a little help from a lame Pass Interference call and score, now an On-Side kick, a common-thread of failed football weekend. Rivas lines up, one hopper straight to Ginn, ya thats the guy you want to kick it to. Game over, of course now in a bad mood. Simply put the Buckeyes are just a better team.

But the negative football was only just beginning. In my head I knew the Double Whammy was coming, whenver Michigan loses the Jets complete the job, but little did I know it would be worse.

Flag Football

Sunday morning flag football always fun I play a little CB. Starts off ok, end up getting an INT right before half time in a close game. Start of the 3rd quarter slot receiver runs an out route and I jump it fight the ball away from the wideout and I'm gone 2 INTs one to the house now thats a good game or so I thought.

We're up by two just less than two tds, because we can never convert conversions after touchdowns, and the other team is driving and what happens the run one of those damn wheel routes and what do I do, of course I bite on the pump fake and I'm dead 20 yard touchdown, god damn it I hate getting burnt for tds. Nothing ticks me off more, ok maybe one thing.

4th quarter they got the ball our defensive lineman jumps hits makes contact with their lineman and then the ball is snapped I see the flag thrown and slow down for a second the play is dead. What why is the play not dead, and why is this slow receiver 3 steps behind me ahhh shit, they throw a deep pass he catches it I catch up to him but can't grab the damn flag. I talk to the official and basically he's an idiot and doesn't know the rule. First off if an Offensive Lineman moves at anytime before the snap its dead. It's either unabated to the QB and dead or false start. But when the DL makes contact with the Lineman which the ref said he saw, it is most certainly dead, but instead of admitting he was wrong the touchdown stands.

And now I'm rattled, the phrase on tilt applies to me more in sports than in poker. Kick off, its going out of bounds last bounce comes straight at me and hits me in the leg and then goes out of bounds just friggin shoot me. We down by 2 needing and on side kick, kick is beautiful but doesn't go ten yards when I get to it, so I knock my guy off the ball, doesn't matter someone else grabs it we lose.

0-2 thus far on the weekend 0 for 2 on on-side kicks. And even though I had 2 INTs including a touchdown I'm pissed at myself for giving up 2 tds.

Ya and now the Jets are going to win, ha ya right.

Survivor Pool

But wait its not just the Jets that would let me down, with just two of us left in the Survivor Pool I made the obvious pick, at 5-4 needing to win to keep pace in the NFC East there is no possible way Donovan McNabb is going to lose to the Titans at home. No possible way, well unless he blows out his knee and the Eagles have to bring in Jeff Garcia, damn it 0-3 for the weekend.

New York Jets vs. Chicago Bears

Alright I'm already in a terrible mood I'm sure the Jets with a chance to move to 6-4 with a terrible remaining schedule are going to cheer me up. Hint of Sarcasm there. Oh and to put an added bonus on the game Joe Buck is doing the broadcasting, super.

But through the first half hell they're playing pretty good the Bears offense is terrible Rex Grossman has about 2 yards of passing even the Jets run defense isn't getting gashed and the Jets are actually moving the ball a little bit. And of course Chad, formerly no INTs in the red zone, Pennington throws a ball on 3rd and Goal into double coverage when his receiver was not open to start with and Urlacher picks it off. Super, a chance to score blown. And apparently Coles was wide open on the play, I didn't see it, just here-say.

Then right before the half Thomas Jones fumbles, ruled a fumble on the field the Jets recover on the Bears 35 nice maybe the Jets could score before the half. Here comes the red flag, ok its a red flag its review so obviously it is not going to go in my favor. Buck and Aikman are on my side saying its very close but there is certainly not enough evidence to 100% know he was down this play should not be overturned. And what happens, overturned. Of course, ugh. Zero-Zero at half, atleast their not getting throttled but they played much better than the Bears in the first half and have nothing to show for it.

Start of the 2nd half I turn it on and the kick-off has already happened. What they went for an On-Side kick and didn't get it, oh come on. 0 for 3 on on-side kicks, you have got to be kidding me. Now the Bears who couldn't move the ball 3 inches in the first half drive down the field and kick a field goal.

Now Pennington decides in the 2nd half that he no longer wants to throw a completion. He starts over throwing simple routes and is completely inaccurate, what is supposed to be Pennington's strong suit. And they still don't dare to throw the ball deep.

One play is all the Bears needed, a simple curl a slip by the corner back and a touchdown, there we go 10-0 they are done.

One last possession and the Jets are down by 10 with limited time left and still refuse to throw anything but 5 yard outs.

Shoot Me.