SimonOnSports

"Hi, I'm Venus Williams. My sister has won 5 Grand Slams since the last time I won one, however I continually beat her in the ludicrous outfit category. Remember the nude shorts . Well now I bring to you... a woven basket on my stomach!"

~First and foremost I think we can say that Shingo definitely brought it with his Japanese flag hat and the plaid green and white pants. Unfortunately he did not even come close to making the cut so we only got two days of Shingo mania. ~Holy shit I was right for once. I picked the Titties to win and by golly he did. Mickelson's win can pretty much be summed up by his three hole explosion on Saturday when he went Eagle, Eagle, Birdie and by his shot lying in the woods between two trees which he landed within five feet of the hole. I just wish Westwood or Kim were a shot back on the final hole to see how the added pressure would have effected him.

The first round of the Masters is concluded so lets take a look back at the important stuff, like whom wore the most ridiculous outfit... Mr. Nicklaus is Obviosuly Concerned About Mr. Palmer's Fashion

I know New Orleans is getting ready for Mardi Gras and is in Super Bowl celebration mode, but how can anyone explain these? Purple on the front, yellow on the sides and green in the back with maybe a little rhinestone trimming? Paul Lukas must be rolling in his grave... wait he loves it ? I'm confused. At least David West looks disgusted by it.

Why is Deron so Sad and Carlos so Happy? It's pretty simple. The Jazz reto Green Jerseys are pure awesome while their typical uniform with the purplie-blue and navy is absolutely horrendous. Not to mention that the old Jazz logo is ten times better than the new "lightning" inspired Jazz print. If Karl Malone and John Stockton wore these jerseys the Jazz would have won an NBA title, instead they wore purple and were Michael Jordan's bitch.

At 4:15 I was almost blinded. I turned on CBS and saw uniforms worse than the Seahawks highlighter green uniforms . I didn't think it was possible, but the original Broncos uniforms are likely the worst uniforms ever created. I however did enjoy the whole sock twist on the Broncos wide receiver which was surely meant to give the opposing players a massive headache.

Second Place: The Houston Texans in their we're all Red but we really are unsure why uniforms. Third Place: The New York Jets bringing back their vomit inducing Titans uniforms. The whole Navy and Mustard setup is disgusting. Of course once again neither of these uniforms even compares to the disaster that was the Seattle Seahawks .

What the hell are the Seahawks wearing? When did they morph into a team wearing Day Glow green? These uniforms are absolutely hideous which makes this picture perfect, a terrible uniform combined with an obviously horrible pass, it's the 2009 Seahawks.

It's time for the inagural UFL football season where uniforms need BRIGHT COLORS ! With uniforms that are bright green and a light blue what would you guess the team name would be? The Aliens or Martians? Nope. The Galaxy? Nope. The Lazer? Nope. The Lizards or Dinosaurs or Raptors or something reptilian? Nope. I bet I can go on and on and on and you would never ever be able to guess what this uniforms nickname could possibly be. Even if I told you that the team was the California R________s, you probably still wouldn't get it. So any last guesses? How about the California Redwood? Yes. Bright Green and Blue, that screams Redwood. Or not. Hello Morons. Just in case they didn't know, Redwoods look like this.

John Daly During His Practice Round Rockin a Cig and Diamonds Mr. Daly In the First Round With the Pastel Green Weave Mr. Daly During the 2nd Round With the Floral Arrangement

Look at that, Rocking the plaid pants and the Union Jack Vest and throw in a red visor for good measure. It's like a catalog photograph for the Pretty Pants Collection . Too bad he's +3 through 5 holes and sitting in 95th place.

Are vertical stripes supposed to be slimming? I'm not sure it's working for Phil Mickelson. Especially today's white with brown stripe concoction. At least yesterday he looked like a 1920s Italian Mobster.

I don't know what the most ridiculous part about this shirt is. The horizontal stripes mixture of colors or the fact the stripes are only on the front of the shirt.

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below. ANSWERS

So I'm bored perusing the interwebs searching and decide to go to Ian Poulter's website and see what beautiful new pink pant selections he has to offer this year. I'm just perusing the site and then... I stumble on glory. Ian's Wardrobe Page . Yes that's right it's an entire page dedicated to what Ian wore this year thus far and what he plans on wearing on for the upcoming tournament. Disappointingly Ian is not planning on wearing pink pants this weekend. Just a pink shirt twice.

Denver knows that St. Patrick's day was actually two weeks ago right? What the hell is up with the Green Jerseys?

Stumbled Upon This and Thought It Was Awesome. It's Deportivo Táchira of Venezuela's Jose Francisco Gonzalez who really likes sitting at the barber shop for hours.

The Mets are will always be the 2nd baseball team in New York and I guess to prove this point the Mets came up with arguably the lamest sleeve patch of all time . I think this is best summed up by Stephen Colbert via The 700 Level : The Colbert Report Mon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c Tip/Wag - Monkey on the Lam Colbert at Christmas Colbert Christmas DVD Green Screen Bill O'Reilly Interview Of Course Stephen wasn't the only one who had fun with the Mets. The Sports Hernia , HHR and others took their turns at coming up with twists to the patches. My favorite? The Keith Hernandez patch, obviously.

Jose Mourinho the former Chelsea Coach and star of I'm On Setanta Sports, attended the Chelsea Manchester United Match this week to scout Man U for the upcoming Man U v. InterMilan UEFA Champions League Matchup. The Manager is so special he can pull off using a belt as a necklace to keep his sweater collar from falling down. Be Champions.

I wonder if on the back of the shirt it said screw Britain. Or said, Independent since 1776. What's with the green portion of the shirt?