SimonOnSports

What Sport is a series of posts dedicated to figuring out what sport a certain fictional character would play. Today's topic is Super Mario. Description: Mario is a short and fat plummer. His athleticism is likely overstated in every game which you use him. He might have some power give the short stocky frame but the endurance is likely to be incredibly questioned. Any sport which involves height is obviously eliminated. The Options: Well the options are vast because there's been a Mario Sports game for just about every sport, except hockey. So we'll take a look at all of them. Soccer: A sport built around running non stop for 90 minutes, hmm.... probably not for the short fat man. Tennis: A sport built on cardiovascular endurance and quickness, hmm.... probably not for the short fat man. Baseball: Mario looks like he could be a sneaky power bat, kind of like a poor man's Prince Fielder. But in the field I'd imagine he'd be a disaster. No reach, lack...

What Sport is a series of posts dedicated to figuring out what sport a certain fictional character would play. Today's topic is the Noid. Don't remember the Noid? Here's a refresher: Description: The Noid was the annoying Pizza Crushing Bunny Rabbit thing invented by Domino's Pizza for their commercials in the 1980s. He went on to "star" in the epic video game Yo! Noid. He's basically a foot and a half rabbit gnome thing that likes to jump a lot. The Options: Um at under 2 feet tall, the Noid's options are limited. You pretty much can throw out all the major sports. Plus he probably weighs nothing, so he likely doesn't even fit into a weight class for boxing or MMA or lifting. You're likely going to have to look towards serious niche sports if you can find anything at all. Competitive Jump Rope: Competetive jump rope just might be the ideal sport for The Noid. He jumps a lot, he looks relatively quick. Plus his small height makes it in...

What Sport is a series of posts dedicated to figuring out what sport a certain fictional character would play. Today's topic is Sonic the Hedgehog. Description: Sonic the Hedgehog is a little animal who for some reason is fast as hell. How little is Sonic? He's listed at 39 inches , so much like Mega Man the Tall Guy sports are out. But unlike Mega Man, Sonic isn't really that tough, it just takes two hits in a row to knock him out for the count so the physical sports might take a hit as well. The Options: Sonic is just too short and small to play any of the physical sports or tall guy sports so football, rugby, hockey, bball and vball are out. He also doesn't have the wingspan to generate speed for a "Swing" sport, so tennis, golf, and baseball are out. So what the hell is left? Track obviously, but that's a boring answer and is running really a sport? So I guess its time to focus on sports with little physical contact where speed is key. Soccer: W...

What Sport is a series of posts dedicated to figuring out what sport a certain fictional character would play. Today's topic is Mega Man. Description: Mega Man is a 4 foot tall robot whom depending on the villains he's dispatched could have a varying amount of abilities. He's tough, he's agile, he's quick, he's thick (230 lbs), but he's short as hell (he's Listed at just 4 foot 4). The Options: Well anything having to do with height is completely out, so we shall eliminate basketball and volleyball. Baseball is likely eliminated as he would be an uber Pedroia. So our debate shall be between Hockey, Football, Soccer. Football: The land of football is the land of massive massive men and Mega Man is certainly not that. But even in the land of massive men there's become a growing desire for the Quarkback , the small and lighting quick running back, think Leon Washington or Noel Devine. Mega Man would fit this persona perfectly. He's a tough ...

I like Punchout just as much as anybody, but I'm not sure about this... Looks to me like it's nearly impossible. The dude is losing to Glass Joe. Nobody loses to Glass Joe. How the hell are you supposed to beat Tyson if you're struggling against the scrubs? Courtesy of Gizmodo via EC

There are several Nintendo games that stand the test of time, one of these games is Mike Tyson's Punch Out. As I've mentioned several times on this here blog I have a mild obsession with the game, I even was Glass Joe for Halloween a few years back. So the re-issue of the game on the Wii, makes me contemplate a purchase. Especially after a few humorous youtube clips. Little Mac looks like he put on a few lbs, and a little muscle mass. I guess now he's in the steroid era so it makes sense. Doc's in great shape. No one knows boxing Quite like Doc. He's a true Trainer of Trainers. H/T With Leather

Is It Ok To Think This is Hilarious? Look at all the exercise he gets. Lean to the left lean to the right. Wobble Wobble.

A Jet has never even sniffed the Madden Cover before and might never will again. So guess what? Screw the curse, make Madden 09 look like this... EA, you have a week to get it done... Courtesy of FirstCuts

Poor Little Mac stands no chance against Don Flamenco.

You do not give Iron Mike an Omelet with only 2 eggs, the omelets must have 3 eggs with decadent cheese, sausage, peppers and bacon or he will bite your ear off.

Let me preface this by saying that I haven't set up my PS2 in my house since college and probably should have just ebayed it a while ago. But during my heyday in late high school and my college years I played a lot of Madden and NCAA Football. And while I have always been a short passes west coast offense type of player, nothing ticked me off more than the players that played with the Falcons. The players that typically played with the Falcons did absolutely nothing but run with Vick. They didn't ever use runs, they instead would run pass plays, typically deep pass plays, scramble around with Vick and if nothing was open deep pick up a few rushing yards. It was incredibly annoying, and on those games where you were lucky enough to drill and injure Mike Vick these players were typically screwed. Without the scrambling they had pretty much no offense, it was all they did, run with the fastest QB in the game. Hell someone even made a compilation highlight video of how cheap...

Anything I find regarding punchout will pretty much get posted here.

Someone decided to make a full out highlight reel of OJ Simpson for that new video game where you can play as old NFL superstars. Just stay tuned for the last few seconds, that's where all the humor lies. Courtesy of The Hater Nation

Why doesn't American TV not have gameshows like this completely driven to humiliate their contestants? Am I missing some show that is currently on the air? The Asians really know what to do to make their folks look like idiots. Arguably my favorite part of this video is the fact that the liquid that they fall into looks like a giant pond of urine. Courtesy of We Are The Postmen

Any dork like me at some point in there life found a video game so enthralling that they could not put it down. For me the worst came with my first experiences of Tiger Woods golf, as soon as I started playing it on my buddies playstation in college I was hooked. I would be in his room playing every time he was out of the room, whenever he was in class etc, until one day he decided he was going to skip class to play himself. This frazzled me so badly that I decided to run out to Best Buy and buy the game myself. For the next few days and weekends, I played almost non stop Tiger Woods golf until I beat everything. Since the end of college I've pretty much kicked the video game, have yet to set up my playstation in the 2 years I've been out and generally just have no motivation to get back into it. But for a large portion of my life and especially during the weeks of a Tiger Woods release, I was borderline addicted. But not according to the American Medical Association who c...

Little Mac still is a little wuss 20 years later and he doesn't even have to go against the ear munchin raper Mike Tyson. Weak little Mac weak. I'm a sucker for all things Mike Tyson's punchout, I even went as Glass Joe for halloween , greatest game ever.

During Orientation in college I spent an entire week playing Mike Tyson's punch out until I beat it straight through. I don't know if I could have handled defeating the elusive Michael Jackson. Via: We Are the Postmen

So I find Halloween to be one of the most frustrating events as am only mildly creative and lack great ideas as to what to dress up as. However, I was excellent as a kid of recycling old costumes into a new one, for instance I would simply change weapons or wear a crown to be the king of the dead instead of a zombie you get the idea. Well this year I had a few decent ideas, none of which really worked for a redhead who currently has a brillo pad on his head. My ideas being Token Black from South Park, or Clayton Bigbsby the Black White Supremacist. Sure either would have been funny, but too much effort for me to try to look like a bald old black man. So what did I settle on? Glass Joe from Mike Tyson's Punch Out, why well cause it's easy, and he's a red head with too much hair. So simply I need to get Red Boxing gloves, and then I'll write Glass Joe on a torn up sweatshirt. Mildly humurous if anyone gets it.