SimonOnSports

Defensosaurus Rex [dee-fens-oh-sawr-uhs reks] -noun 1. A Football Coach with a Genius Defensive Mind. 2. A Coach with Vast Knowledge on defensive football with high intensity who is more likely than other coaches to punch a fellow staffer in the face or choke out one of his players. Synonyms: Defensive Coordinator, Defensive Guru Sentence Usage: "The Defensosaurus Rex will take over the Jets next season and make their secondary not completely suck."

de⋅press⋅ing [di-pres-ing] –adjective serving to depress; inducing a state of depression: depressing news. Sentence Usage: Getting your hopes up as a Jet fan only to get them shattered back to reality is incredibly depressing.

a⋅bom⋅i⋅na⋅tion [uh-bom-uh-ney-shuhn] –noun 1. anything abominable; anything greatly disliked or abhorred. 2. intense aversion or loathing; detestation: He regarded lying with abomination. 3. a vile, shameful, or detestable action, condition, habit, etc.: Spitting in public is an abomination. Sentence Usage: Yesterday, the Jets play was an abomination.

o⋅ver⋅rate [oh-ver-reyt] –verb (used with object), -rat⋅ed, -rat⋅ing. to rate or appraise too highly; overestimate: I think you overrate their political influence. Sentence Usage: After beating the Patriots and then the Titans the Jets were completely overrated by every member of the media.

mo⋅ron [mawr-on, mohr-] –noun 1. a person who is notably stupid or lacking in good judgment. 2. Psychology. a person of borderline intelligence in a former classification of mental retardation, having an intelligence quotient of 50 to 69. 3. Psychology A person of mild mental retardation having a mental age of from 7 to 12 years and generally having communication and social skills enabling some degree of academic or vocational education. The term belongs to a classification system no longer in use and is now considered offensive. Sentence Usage: Eric Mangini is a complete moron. His play calling and defensive schemes are obviously only at a 5th grade level.

piss-poor [pis-poor] –adjective Slang: Vulgar. of extremely inferior or disappointing quality or rating. Sentence Usage: The Jets defense is extremely piss poor. Their tackling is piss-poor. Their secondary is piss poor. Their pass rush is piss-poor. Their effort is piss-poor.

use⋅less [yoos-lis] –adjective 1. of no use; not serving the purpose or any purpose; unavailing or futile: It is useless to reason with him. 2. without useful qualities; of no practical good: a useless person; a useless gadget. Sentence Usage: The Jets Wide Receivers are one hundred percent useless.

cov⋅er⋅age [kuhv-er-ij, kuhv-rij] –noun 1. Insurance. protection provided against risks or a risk, often as specified: Does the coverage include flood damage? 2. Journalism. the reporting and subsequent publishing or broadcasting of news: The World Series receives international coverage. 3. the extent to which something is covered. 4. the area, groups, or number of persons served or reached by a newspaper, radio or television station, advertising campaign, business, etc.; market. 5. Radio and Television. the area within the broadcasting range of a station or network, usually calculated by the number of owners of radio or television receivers. 6. Finance. the value of funds held to back up or meet liabilities. 7. Photography. covering power. Sentence Usage: The Jets coverage is non-existent. If the Jets were an Insurance company and they gave you similar coverage you would probably have to pay them if you were injured.

cross-coun⋅try [adj. kraws-kuhn-tree, kros-; n. kraws-kuhn-tree, -kuhn-, kros-] adjective, noun, plural tries. –adjective 1. directed or proceeding over fields, through woods, etc., rather than on a road or path: a cross-country race. 2. from one end of the country to the other: a cross-country flight. –noun 3. a cross-country sport or race. Sentence Usage: After a cross-country flight the Jets play like they have their heads stuck 2 feet up their asses.

I'm Highly annoyed so today we will be defining terms exemplified by the Jets yesterday. The first word is fraudulent. fraud⋅u⋅lent /[fraw-juh-luhnt] –adjective 1. characterized by, involving, or proceeding from fraud, as actions, enterprise, methods, or gains: a fraudulent scheme to evade taxes. 2. given to or using fraud, as a person; cheating; dishonest. Sentence Usage: The Jets defense is completely fraudulent.

Gynemy [jin uh mee] -noun 1. Gym Members who are absent months but decide January is the month to restart their workout rotation 2. Those that never workout but decide January is the month to give it a try. 3. Those that don't follow the January Stay Fat Campaign . Synonyms: New Years Resolution Gym Members Sentence Usage: "I couldn't get any damn equipment at the gym today because there was a gynemy on every single machine."

Pull a Kay [pŏŏl ey key] -verb 1. Acting as if something is finished prior to its conclusion. 2. Sharing the ronsequences of a final outcome prior to its outcome is concluded. 3. Acting as if a Game is won before the final out, or whistle has happened. Synonyms: Counting Your Chickens Before They've Hatched Sentence Usage: "The game is in the fifth inning and he's already saying Kei Igawa is going to get his first win since June, why must he pull a kay."

Its surprising to no one that the winner of the spelling bee is A) Home Schooled, B) Is Obviously Lacking in Social Skills, and C) Is a little too chippy about misspelling a word. I bet that's gonna go down as one of the most awkward interviews that women will ever have to undertake. Anyway here's an entry into Simon's Dictionary for Spelling Bee Champ... Spelling Bee Champ [spel-ing bee champ] -noun 1. A Child with Limited Social Skills and Friends. Often Home Schooled to further distance themselves from any social interaction with anyone other than their mother. Synonyms: Weenie, Tool, Not The Cool Kid, 40 Year Old Virgin Sentence Usage: "What the hell are they doing raising a spelling bee champ, he's never gonna get laid." Common Characteristics: Glasses, Often Indian or Jewish, limited physical coordination.

Pavano [puh-vahn-oh] -noun 1. A weakling, wimp, timid person. 2. A spineless heartless human being 3. A human being whose name when mentioned in front of any Yankee fan will invoke the phrase "F'n Pavano" Synonyms: Pussy, wimp, wuss, vagina, chicken Sentence Usage: "Hey son don't be a pavano, get out there and play kill the carrier." Pavano [puh-vahn-oh] -verb 1. To Exhaggerate minimal injury or illness in order to avoid work. 2. To Receive ample payment for zero production or worth. Sentence Usage: "This kid showed up and pavanoed right in my face, needless to say I fired him on the spot."