SimonOnSports

On the final lap, a little Ricky Bobby action. Man if I knew this would happen the final lap of every race I would actually sign up to watch 30 seconds of NASCAR a week. And nobody died or was seriously injured. Flying Car + Nobody Dying = Awesome

First let me get off my chest my feelings about bumper stickers. They're for the most part lame. You bought the car because it looked good why the hell do you need to deface it with some stupid joke or something like, "if you can read this get off my ass." It's stupid. The only truly acceptable bumper stickers, if you can call them that, are the college ones and that's only if you went to a semi decent school. If say you went to the local community college and because of that you're working at the local 7-11 how about you just save yourself the embarrasment? Ok now onto two things that piss me off. NASCAR and people driving slow. If you know me or have ever read any of my NASCAR posts , well then you know how stupid I think NASCAR is, and well most people that watch as well. Now if you've met me, you've either seen a few rage induced moments or you have seen how god damn impatient I can be and people driving slowly in my way just brings those no...

This weekend I turned on Sportscenter on saturday and sunday and what did I find? Well immense coverage of NASCAR and storylines that went for 20 minutes at a time. I wanted to punch myself in the face repeatedly. ESPN has NASCAR now oh great why don't they just subject me to countless hours of NASCAR coverage on sportscenter so I could thusly hate Sportscenter like it seems the rest of the world does. Can't they just have their 2 hour NASCAR now shows on ESPN 2 that way I know not to tune in? Well the funniest part of it all is that NASCAR fans can't stand ESPN covering NASCAR. So lets get this straight, NASCAR fans hate ESPN covering NASCAR and general sports fans like myself hate ESPN covering NASCAR, isn't that classic. Oh and now even Tony Stewart who won the Brickyard 400 this weekend says ESPN's coverage sucks . Can't we get the damn races on the SPEED Network or something? Atleast the Onion did a solid job of making fun of how NASCAR is simply tak...

I didn't think anything could possibly make NASCAR less watchable but bright neon colors showing the drafting of the cars as they drive across the screen? Well that just might do it. What the Hell are they thinking? Courtesy of Awful Announcing

If I'm talking about NASCAR you know either a major crash happened, something stupid happenned or I found something humurous. Well it was the latter two. This here is Jamie McMurray enjoying a cool refreshing Coca Cola after his win this weekend. So what's the big deal? Well he won the Pepsi 400 meaning that after spending countless dollars on sponsoring a NASCAR race for many year, Pepsi managed to get spit in the face by the winner of their race. Quality. This is how I'd have to imagine the conversation between Pepsi and NASCAR going. Pepsi: Hi NASCAR NASCAR: Pepsi how ya been? Pepsi: Been better... NASCAR: What yall mean, we just had here the closest dog gone race in the history of NASCAR. Pepsi: Ya that's f'n super, that Jamie McMurray guy seems like quite the character. NASCAR: Yup he sure is, what seems to be crawlin up your behind? Pepsi: Are you god damn serious? Are you that f'n hick and stupid? Did you not see that assclown drinking f'...

I'm a bit late on this but earlier this month two of my least favorite things in the world, the Red Sox and NASCAR have teamed up . John Henry and the Fenway Sports Group dropped $50 million to become a 50 percent owner in the Roush Racing team, now the Roush Fenway Racing team. [Vommitting] I'm not quite sure how this partnership vastly benefits either side, as New England is not exactly the prime market for NASCAR, although New Hampshire is developing. And the truth is I don't think there is much cross benefit between the two organizations, maybe a few risidual extra fans for both organizations, but it is simply an effort by Henry and the Fenway Group to expand their possible revenue sources so they can shell out more dough on Japanese Pitching acquisitions. Much like ESPN force feeding NASCAR down our throats the past few weeks due to their new contract Red Sox fans can expect somewhat the same. "So you'll see highlights on the Jumbotron here at Fenway, you...

They hold the biggest race of the season, the most prestigious race, the "Superbowl" of racing, to open the season. And it has no major effect on who wins the seasons championship. Well that makes friggin sense. Why not open the season with Wimbledon or the Master's and then not count the results on the season ending money list / rankings. Perhaps because it is moronic. Throw out the fact that NASCAR is only good for the massive wrecks, which can be easily viewed fully on a highlight show, NASCAR's season is set up miserably. So after yesterday its pretty much either congrats you won the biggest race of the year, now the rest are insignificant. Or you just wrecked in the biggest race of the year, you're a loser, have fun for the rest of the stupid races this season. ~PTI getting bounced for NASCAR now is extremely annoying. PTI = ESPN's best show. NASCAR = Mind Numbingly Boring. By simple deduction of logic PTI should never be pulled for anything, especially d...

11. They discouraged the fighting of of Greg Bifle's girlfriend and Kurt Busch's fiancee. Where do you see this in other sports, you don't, so why doesn't NASCAR continue to offer some southern bells fighting it out for one extra spot on the poll position every week right before the race. I would watch it. 10. The Viagra car is driven by an old man. The only time I have ever enjoyed the presence of Viagra on my television screen is whn the great Rafael Palmeiro had an add where he said "I take infield practice, I take Batting Practice, I take... VIAGRA.", followed by him turning to his agent and going, "Is that the stuff that's in those B12 shots Miguel Tejada gives me?" 9. The Racers fueds are actually much better than the race itself. Have you ever seen the constant bickering between men so humurous. They all have a holier than thou attitude. If they crashed during the race it's always someone elses fault, I watched sportscenter on monday a...

With all the hype of the new Will Ferrell movie Talledega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby, its tough to tell whether or not the hype machine is working because of A) Its not as good as it appears in the previews or B) It is really good and all the commercials and TV spots are trying to get it to become one of the biggest movies of all time. Before the movie there were reasons to believe it was the latter, first it was 2 hours of making fun of NASCAR and the South, two things I very much like seeing made fun of. Second, it would be similar to Anchorman and I thought atleast up to par probably better. Finally, all the TV spots, internet trailors everything I saw was downright crack up laughing hilarious. Well I'm here to tell that it is one of the funniest movies I have scene, and I am teetering as to whether or not it was better than Wedding Crashers, and right now the the Ricky Bobby side is winning. You know how you go to a movie and you get out and there are just some hilarious...