SimonOnSports

You've probably already seen this somewhere on the interwebs but since I have a tag called Pissin I think this needs to be here... Edmontonians (I assume that's what you call them) did a fantastic job of holding it in throughout the crunch time of the Olympic Hockey Gold Medal match. They waited for the end of periods to run to the bathroom and what with about 27 Molsons drank per person per period I think that's a mighty feat. [ Pat's Papers ]

Good ole Crazy man goal keeper Jens Lehmann's bladder had enough yesterday. He wasn't going to wait through the rest of the half to get to the locker room and piss. Nope, he found a perfect spot to go in the middle of the game. I bet he was all kinds of refreshed afterwards and led Stuttgart to a 3-1 victory. H/T Dirty Tackle

If you were going to end your post boxing workout with one drink what would it be? A protein shake? Some water? A propel? How about your own dehydrated Urine? Didn't think of that one did you. Juan Manuel Marquez did though. And that's why he's a better boxer than you. Courtesy of The Queensberry Rules

I had a good time during the Super Bowl, had beverages ate a ton of food, had a lot of big sandwhich and enjoyed the game. But I did not get the opportunity to urinate on Matt Cassel. But apparently someone did . Good For Matt Cassel, he's big enough now and hated enough to get urinated on. That's how you know you made it.

You're going around your local golf course and after downing the tenth beer in your 18th hole journey you have to take a piss. There's no bathroom in site, oh no what do you do. You head to the closest tree or just off the t-box turn your body away from the crowd and let it fly. Or... You could piss in a fake club in your bag. That's right the Uroclub now can solve all of your uncomfort issues. Just strap a towel around your waste pull the Uroclub out of your bag, unscrew the top and start pissing in your most useful new club. Then you can dispense of the urine in whatever way you see fit later in the day. It could be in the bathroom, in the woods or simply poured into Grutt's half empty can of beer. Seriously this has got to be the dumbest invention of all time. If you are uncomfortable pissing on a golf course you should hand in your man card. Plus who the hell wants to have a urine soaked club in their golf bag ever or who wants to wash out your urine soaked club on...

The question of the day is just how drunk do you need to be to whip it out at a playoff hockey game and start urinating on people. Do you need to be 100% blackout drunk in order to do this? Do you need to be intoxicated with a bunch of friends telling you that you won't piss on all the Canadian fans sitting in front of you. Or is the game already in overtime and you just can't spare missing any game, so why not use the Canadian fan as a urinal? I think you have to be a special brand of human being to be that drunk that you are willing to urinate on fellow human beings while enjoying a playoff hockey game. Lucky for you they probably have a urinal directly in your jail cell. Courtesy of Barstool Sports

Kenyatta I understand you are a large 300 lb former New England Patriot but in just about every single circumstance it is unacceptable to urinate on the dance room floor . I'm assuming that at this club there was a very large bathroom with several urinals, and if you really need to piss yand all the urinals were taken than you could have just lifted one of the guys who was already pissing up and moved him. And then taken his urinal. Now if you were at ATO I would completely understand given there 1 toilet for the entire party policy. Plus there was that dark spot in the basement by the second unused bar. So that would be a different story, but alas you were at a Club with a bunch of cops. And thus were arrested and now we have a very unfortunate urination story.

I think Brian misses his 2007 Golden Showers .

Please read up on your etiquette and stop crowding my god damn space. And feel free to accomplish this .

Michael Holton is a man that knows how to vacation and a man that knows what he wants in life. He wants to go to the Packers game and he doesn't really care for living in Wisconsin. So the Atlanta business man from Milwaukee has bought and furnished a dream Packer themed vacation home just outside of Lambeau Field so that his family has a place to stay for every Packer home game that they fly from Atlanta to see. He even has put the manly finishing touches on the bathroom. There's even a flat screen featuring a live camera shot of Lambeau above a urinal in a main floor bathroom. Yes. You read that correctly. Holton has a urinal. "My favorite spot in the whole place," he said with a laugh. "Look, any man's man is going to tell you that they want a urinal somewhere in their house. Did I plan it that way? Hey, it's my place. I wanted a urinal, so I put one in." Green Bay Press Gazette Nothing says vacation home quite like a big screen TV over your u...

Boys and girls, well pretty much just boys except for those girls that come squirt when the squat or lean over the urinal or... nevermind, anyway boys around the world we have now found the new best urinal in the world and it's all thanks to Kansas St. forward Bill Walker. In last nights game with time running down on the clock and needing to be in the game for Kansas St.'s final play in regulation, valiant Bill had no time to make it to the urinal. Instead he gathered a few Gatorade logo'd towels and gave them the refurbished Gatorade in urine form. Next valiant Bill jumped on the court dunked an alley-oop over three people and Kansas St. won the game. How's that for relief? I made that last line up, Kansas St. lost and valiant Bill is only a hero to, well me, people that enjoy urinating on things. Friggin towels in the middle of a pack crowd? I would have never thought of that shit, that shows balls, just below elephantitis sized bowls. He isn't even showing ...

The best way to prep for a big rivalry game as the Oregon St. fanbase show, is by plastering pictures of your rivals mascot and logo inside a porto potty so that you can urinate and/or dump on your opponent the entirety of your tailgating. Way to go Beaver fans. Courtesy of The Wizard of Odds from Beavers Blog

There's stupid and then there's taking a face first dive in the troth. Courtesy of Who Ate All the Pies

One of my childhood friends went to Colorado after somehow scoring tickets for Game 3 and Game 4 of the World Series and ended up at the same bar as the Sox post game 4. Most of the pics are either him or his younger sis with players so I'm not gonna post those and some are just players walking around the bar, it seems as if they weren't overly rowdy yet. Anyway these are the two that I enjoyed the most. Julio Lugo apparently enjoys the double thumbs up and queer looking hats. That probably explains his .230 batting average this season. And now David Ortiz pissing out the window. ... Ok, he probably is just looking out the window and is doing nothing that cool. However, if he actually was pissing out the window in a crowded bar I might be willing to wear a David Ortiz jersey to a Yankee Red Sox game because it would be that cool.

It's the Bottom of the 9th you've just downed the last of the 4 beers you bought at assorted stands in the park right before last call. You're bladder is ready to burst like the staples in Charlie Weis's stomach. But you don't want to move, you're team is down by one with runners at the corners and one out. If you hustle to the bathrroom you might miss the entire game. You won't be able to celebrate with your buddies and punch that rival fan a few rows down. What is there to do? Hold it and you could end up dripping urine out of your shorts run to the bathroom and you could miss the enjoyment of that rival fan lying on the ground crying. Well fear not young drunkard, your problem is now solved thanks to the ingenious ideas of Austrians. Introducing the Roadbag , your portable and disposable urinal. Just duck down and pull the road bag out of your pocket and start your pissin. The Roadbag contains amazingly powerful crystals which turn your urine int...

No serious crimes this week, which is nice, but just proves that you don't need to do something horrendous to be considered a moron. 1. Eric Schnupp - Some may choose to call him the Biggest Waste of Oxygen this weekend, I prefer to call him inspiration. When your team sucks, as Baylor most certainly does, can you think of any better way to motivate the troops than urinating on a bar the night after another painful loss. I don't know if I can. 2. El-Hadji Diouf - If you were the best player for your national team and you were only 26 the logical progression would be what? Captaincy? Or... retirement. Why because they were no longer paying for his plain flights. This coming from the same player who admitted to getting thrown out of Premiership games on purpose. 3. EA Sports - Video games aren't just for kids plenty of adults play them as well I know. But there are a lot of kids walking around the aisles who will grab EA sports games and think to themselves, wow Shawn...

If you haven't been a part of the loop this past week, Barry Bond's 756th home run ball was bought by fashion designer Marc Ecko. Ecko as in the Hip Hop Clothing brand. After Ecko's purchase of the ball he designed the website vote756.com where you can place your word as to what happens to the ball. Personally I voted that an asterisk could be placed on the ball and then given to the hall of fame. I would find that moderately humorous. Well yesterday Barry Bonds came out and expressed his opinion. Not so surprisingly he feels that Marc Ecko is a moron for spending $750,000+ on a ball which he is obviously not going to keep. Let me offer an Easy Rubuttal for Marc: "Hey Barry how about you shut the f*ck up. You realize that my company had 1 Billion Dollars worth of Sales last year right? That's with a B. It's my company. I have more money than you have ever dreamed of. Probably cause I don't waste the majority of my money on steroids. You realize t...

If you were a high school girls soccer player and you really wanted to screw with your rival you could probably think of a lot of things to do. Such as paint your logo on their bench or steal their mascot you know classic high school pranks. However, the girls of Holliston High School outside of Boston did something that not even I had previous thought of. They all popped a squat on rival Medway High Schools synthetic field. Don't worry though girls of Medway, as your field is about as clean as the Burritos you get at Taco Bells. Hanlon Field was hand-sprayed Wednesday with “an environmentally safe” disinfectant. It will be retreated today or tomorrow. See it's ok, it was disinfected. All that urine is completely gone. No worries. Except for the fact that people can call it Piss Field. Or the field where legends wrote their names in urine. So not only do you wear hideous looking tie die shirts but if you hit the field it will be a urine soaked tie die shirt. What I don...

I would do the Arod every other at bat song rotation between the regular version: And the Remix: That would certainly intimidate the other team...