SimonOnSports

EDSBS created a game to play in your boredom. It's a random Album Cover Generator . Here's my result... "Former Latino boy band star Gabino Velasco spiraled into uncontrollable drug usage once his former band disassembled. After years of battling both heroin and cocaine addictions, Valesco is back searching for a new path to stardom. His solo debut "Stop Doing and Concentrate on Being" is a blend of Nu Metal and Latin Reggae which is sure to top the Mexican charts"

The Name of the Year Tournament has reached the Elite 8 and I still have a chance to nail the entire Final Four with my predictions from March . Unfortunately both Starzanne Stripes and God's Power Offor are currently being upset. Starzanne Stripes is a lost cause, getting pummeled by Steele Sidebottom but God's Power Offor is locked in a heated battle which is currently being decided by the Bible Belt and the Mormons. The biggest swing states in the vote are Mississippi, Georgia and Utah. So go vote for God and make sure Georgia doesn't get their way.

How do we as English speakers devise the spelling and description of foreign countries? I know this is completely off topic and random but frankly I don't get it. I guess I can understand changing Sverige to Sweden because well who the hell would be able to pronounce Sverige? I can understand morphing the Russian words into something more English friendly because they have letters that we don't even use. But why the hell do we say Denmark when they spell their jerseys Danmark or Brazil when they spell it Brasil? Is one letter really that difficult? Next you move on to some countries that are mildly different but really not that hard to pronounce. We go from Slovensko to Slovakia. From Polska to Poland. From the Nederlands to the Netherlands. From Norge to Norway. From Nippon to Japan. Why the effort to change the actual country name to some mangled English slang? And then you get to the countries that we seemingly just make up whatever we want. Did you notice Fi...

This is a mild rant and is surely off topic but this morning I went to a new gym for the first time. I decided it was a good idea to A) Go in the morning so that I would actually go instead of convincing myself after my commute home to skip the gym B) Join a gym that's less than 20 minutes away from my apartment. So on my first journey to the gym this morning I head to the treadmill for a little warm up mile to wake my sorry ass up. Then after the mile run I search for the Water Fountain to hydrate, something I in general find very useful while working out. Much to my dismay there is no "bubbler" to be found. So I head downstairs and start doing some not so heavy lifting with essentially a mouth that feels like the beach. Eventually I can't take it any more so I head to the locker room and start paddling water in my mouth like a fucking dog. So naturally my question is why in the world would a gym, where water is fucking essential, not have a water fountain? ...

The rents called on saturday and said they were selling all of my old bedroom furniture and that it was time to get my ass in gear and clean out all of the crap I left in my old room when I moved out. Amongst many ridiculous things I found that I kept as a child was this Baseball Legends calendar from 1993. Well it just so happens that the dates of 1993 and 2010 line up. Wee, free calendar.

In a day of work filled with meeting after meeting after meeting, I get a few minutes to check out the news and the first thing I see is that the Price of Beer Is Going Up . Isn't that just one more swooping kick to the wallet. And here I thought commodity prices were consistently going down, I guess not.

Last night Jon Garland became the latest and greatest MLB player to clear the waiver wire. The Diamondbacks have garnered two things from this move. They A) Now know that nobody thinks Jon Garland is worth the money that they are currently paying him and B) they can trade Garland to any team that may want him. The Waiver Wire as a whole is an interesting concept. A team gets the opportunity to put a player on the waiver wire and see if anybody claims him. If no one does, they are free to do whatever they want with the player. If someone claims him than they can either negotiate a deal with the claimed team for return pieces, or they can pull the player off the waiver wire and return them to their roster. What if this played out in the real world? I think it could lead to some very interesting behavior. Could you imagine how quickly Ken Lewis would clear the waiver wire? The real question is how much of his salary would they have to pay off in a deal and what could they get in r...

" Police bust canary fighting operation ", that's just the thing to make you proud of your hometown. Hoorah Shelton Connecticut.

This is What 68 Hot Dogs Looks Like This is What You Look Like When You Finish 68 Hot Dogs in 10 Minutes And This Is How You Talk When It's Over

The SI Swimsuit edition came out today, and I took the pain staking task of ranking the rookies for you. Enjoy. 8. Jessica Hart Reasoning: It's the Big Strahan Gap. Just don't know about that. 7. Cintia Dicker Reasoning: Usually I'm a fan of redheads being one myself, but she's just too skinny. 6. Damaris Lewis Reasoning: She's Hot, Just not Tyra Banks in her Prime Hot. 5. Esti Ginzburg Reasoning: I guess I just prefer a good brunette. Jimmy at Hot Clicks had her as the Rook of the Year . 4. Hilary Rhoda Reasoning: A little bit of the girl next door look, not sure if that's what I'm looking for in a Rookie of the Year. 3. Ariel Meredith Reasoning: The coffee colored skin and the gangster hoodie look won me over, just not quite enough. 2. Kim Cloutier Reasoning: A solid choice, and it came down to the wire but just had to go with someone else. 1. Lucia Dvorska Reasoning: She's got the exotic feel and she can hold a sheep and still look hot. Tha...

Russell Crowe is a man's man. He's the Gladiator. He always play a complete bad ass in every movie. He seemingly can drink with the best of them. He certainly has a fiery temper and isn't afraid to throw inanimate objects people. He always seems to have the scruff 5 days after his last shave look. All in all if you were going to create a movie with a guy killing lots of people with a sword, Crowe would be amongst your top choices. So when you find out that he owns an Australian Rugby Squad you can't be surprised. Of course Russell Crowe wants to watch men not in pads bash the living crap out of each other. Why wouldn't he? Again, he's a man's man... But then you find out the name of the team he bought. The South Sydney Rabbitohs ? Also, nicknamed the Bunnies? Could there possibly be a less intimidating name for a Rugby Squad? Come On Russ, let's get something a little more your taste. Like the South Sydney Throat Slitters. Now that has a nice...

In news about myself and continuing my recreational sports playing, I am in a flag football league on sundays. I typically play DB, Kick/Punt Returner, and occasionally some wideout. Well this weekend our Quarterback was not there and since our line could not block anybody, we made the genious decision to put me at quarterback. Let's just say that I've got a baseball throwing motion and I only throw 50% spirals. I'm 5 foot 8 while the lineman on both teams were 6 foot plus so I never could see down field and I had to jump throw to get the ball over the on coming rush. So... Simon's statline looked something like this. 60 yards rushing, 7-13 for 70 yards. Zero touchdowns. Two interceptions. One interception that was batted in their air by an oncoming rusher and caught by a different DE. And one that was knocked out of a receivers hands in the end zone and bobbled in the air by a crowd and taken down by a DB. Next game we gratefully move back to the comfort zone.

They’ve got these guys in airports who are called “screeners” whose sole purpose is to prevent people from bringing bombs, bomb parts, guns, etc, onto airplanes. And apparently they’re not that good at it. Now, in my opinion, a 1% failure rate is unacceptable. But 75%? By my calculations, LAX missed 52 bombs, O’Hare missed 45 and San Francisco missed 29, and between the three airports they missed 43% on average. Call me a pessimist, but I don’t like the idea that I’ve got a little better then 50/50 shot of not getting blown up in midair. It’s good to know that the Homeland Security guys think that “this is a huge cause for concern,” and they are taking a more aggressive approach on “keeping screeners attentive.” Not to worry though, screeners who miss detonators, timers, batteries and blocks that look like C4 get remedial training. Wait, what? Will somebody please tell these ass-bags that it’s my ass on the line up there? I’ve got an idea to increase attentiveness, how about ...