Jared is Saddened

Scene: Eli taps Tony's ass after the game this weekend to begin discussions while Lorenzen sits in the background screaming for his lover's attention.

Eli: Hey Hey Tony over here I want to talk to you about your championship?

Tony: About what championship?

Eli: You know the one bestowed upon you by Peter King.

Jared: Eli... Eli, why did you just touch Tony's ass. Eli!!!

Tony: What the hell are you talking about?

Eli: You know how you lead the league in smiling. That's pretty impressive.

Tony: Um ok that's super Eli.

Eli: Well I was just saying you aren't smiling right now and I think you look a lot cuter when you're smiling and well I think you should start smiling again.

Jared: I have a great smile, a really great smile. I'm the #1 smiler in America for backup quarterbacks over 300 pounds.

Tony: Well I did just get hammered by your defensive line and I am now 0-2 as a playoff starter.

Eli: Oh don't worry about the 0-2 thing, look at me I was 0-2 last year and now I'm .500 just like my brother. All you need is to play the Cowboys, they never win playoff games anymore.

Tony: Umm, you're an idiot.

Eli: Can I go with you to Cabo? I'll skip practice this week just like you did. Please Tony please? I love your smiles.... I guess it's back to the Pillsbury Throwboy.

Jared: Yay Eli is coming back to me.

Comments

Ron Dean said…

I love the "Pillsbury Throwboy" comment great blog

3:16 PM

M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

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Numbers On Steroids: Mickey Mantle

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. This week it's throwing a curve ball and looking at All Time Great Yankees. Players that we know did not take steroids to see if this gives a defense to any of the players 'convicted' by Numbers on Steroids. Time to look at my dad's favorite athlete of all time, Mickey Mantle. Averages Say: What's with the mysterious dip at 27 and then the uptick? At Bats Per Home Run Says: That's a mighty jump from 22 to 24 Explaining As If It Was the 90s If you take a look at the numbers there are two time frames which in the 1990s would be questioned. First would be the incredible leap he took from his first year in the big leagues to his first MVP season in 1956. His batting average jumped 50 points. His slugging percentage jumped 90 points and he hit 15 more homers than his previous high. This wouldn't merrit a conviction nowadays though because the young age he...

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This Is Why the New York Mets Can't Win Anymore

It's pretty simple why the Mets can't win games anymore and are morphing into the second worst team in the National League, they can't score runs. The below chart shows exactly whats happenned to their offensive output since each of the major devastating injuries. The blue line shows runs scored for each game through out the season. The pink line shows the average runs the Mets scored when they had everyone, the yellow when they were missing Delgado, the light blue when they were missing Delgado and Reyes, and finally the purple when they were missing Delgado, Reyes and Beltran. In the abscence of Reyes, Delgado and Beltran the Mets are averaging barely over 3 runs per game. In stark contrast, with everyone on the roster the Mets were scoring just over 5 runs per game. That's a wholesale difference and why their roster now equals a lot of losses and a day by day progression further out of a playoff spot.

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