Skip to main content

Well That's a Miserable Way to Die

You go to the stadium to see your favorite team play with a bunch of your family members, leaving your pregnant wife at home but taking your young children. The game then ends, your team wins and you venture down from the upperdeck only to find that because you are in a shitty old stadium like Shea Stadium the escalator is broken down and not working so you have to walk down the steps. Somehow someway you lose your balance (perhaps due to an intoxicated decision to try to slide down the escalator) and you fall two stories, smash on the concrete and that's the end, you die on your way to the hospital. Perhaps the man was an idiot and tried to slide down the escalator, either way if you're in a professional ball park the god damn escalators should be functional. Maybe if they were functional the guy would have just stepped on the escalator and let it ride him down.

Perhaps I'm in the minority but I've always been afraid of heights, or falling rather. I absolutely hate escalators like this where if you look down you'll notice the ground is a far way away. I despise being close to any edges or cliffs just cause you don't know what could happen. So I'm sure tonight when I'm riding up the fun escalators at Yankee Stadium I'll be as uncomfortable as ever.

Comments

Anonymous said…
broken down escalators make stairs... if you can't walk down stairs without pissing yourself i think it's time to stay in your first floor apartment for the next decade...

Popular posts from this blog

M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

Numbers On Steroids: Bret Boone

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. Mr. Boone was once the best power hitting second baseman in the league. How questionable was his success? Averages Say: Why the extra plateu in his mid 30s? At Bats Per Home Run Says: Lowest at Bats Per Home Runs at 37? Hmm.... Explaining It Away Yeak, this one is tough. Umm, late bloomer? He showed potential power early in his career and he just liked playing in Seattle a lot more than everywhere else? And umm, his career was kind of like a running backs in that it just all of a sudden fell off the map? Any of these convincing you? The Verdict Guy never hits more than 24 home runs in a season and then in his age 32 season he hits 37? And in SafeCo a pitchers park to boot? And he follows that up with 24, 35, 24 homer years still at SafeCo? And then he completely falls off the map in 2005 never to be heard from again? We've got a Screamer... Man Get Big Muscles In 30s. Hm...

Numbers On Steroids: Mickey Mantle

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. This week it's throwing a curve ball and looking at All Time Great Yankees. Players that we know did not take steroids to see if this gives a defense to any of the players 'convicted' by Numbers on Steroids. Time to look at my dad's favorite athlete of all time, Mickey Mantle. Averages Say: What's with the mysterious dip at 27 and then the uptick? At Bats Per Home Run Says: That's a mighty jump from 22 to 24 Explaining As If It Was the 90s If you take a look at the numbers there are two time frames which in the 1990s would be questioned. First would be the incredible leap he took from his first year in the big leagues to his first MVP season in 1956. His batting average jumped 50 points. His slugging percentage jumped 90 points and he hit 15 more homers than his previous high. This wouldn't merrit a conviction nowadays though because the young age he...