Skip to main content

A Theoretical Conversation Between Carlos Gonzalez and Charlie Manuel

Charlie Manuel - Umm, well hello, umm Carlos.

Carlos Gonzalez aka CarGo - Uhhh, who is this?

Charlie Manuel - Well you know its, [5 seconds of dead air], Chaaahhhllie Manuel. My team, you know, umm, lost in the World Series and umm, I guess that makes me umm the manager of umm the All Star Game.

CarGo - Oh, Mr. Manuel, so is this good news about the All Star game?

Charlie Manuel - Well, you know I had some hardish type decisions to make. Umm, they want me to pick umm the All Star team and umm well I don't remember people's names and things. So umm, I kind of picked guys umm, that were you know kind of All Stars before cause well they were all stars before so well they can be all stars again, right? I think that umm makes sense.

CarGo - Soooo, that means I didn't make the team?

Charlie Manuel - Well ya umm, I didn't really know your name, umm, there are so many people named Gonzalez and umm I just went with Adrian. And well umm, I have to pick a player on each um team so I picked some guys that umm aren't very good, they kind of suck. But they umm told me I needed an Asshole, or is it Assload?

CarGo - Astro?

Charlie Manuel - Ya Assload. So I took Jason Bourne, just in case we get into some kind of fight. And then I needed a D-Bag so I took some Young guy. My secret is ask my bat boy who has the most homers or steals on a team and then umm I take them. Oh Oh and I took that sunglasses at night guy... Love that tune.

CarGo - So, you're telling me that Chris Young, Michael Bourn and Corey Hart made the All Star team over me?

Charlie Manuel - Well yessirreee! And I took a Byrd and some guy named Infante cause he plays like two positions.

CarGo - Wow, well than thanks for the call. I guess. Guess the fact I rank top 8 in the NL in Hits, Average, Runs, RBI and HRs means nothing.

Charlie Manuel - No sirree it don't mean a nothin.

CarGo - Thanks again jackass. [click]

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

Numbers On Steroids: Bret Boone

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. Mr. Boone was once the best power hitting second baseman in the league. How questionable was his success? Averages Say: Why the extra plateu in his mid 30s? At Bats Per Home Run Says: Lowest at Bats Per Home Runs at 37? Hmm.... Explaining It Away Yeak, this one is tough. Umm, late bloomer? He showed potential power early in his career and he just liked playing in Seattle a lot more than everywhere else? And umm, his career was kind of like a running backs in that it just all of a sudden fell off the map? Any of these convincing you? The Verdict Guy never hits more than 24 home runs in a season and then in his age 32 season he hits 37? And in SafeCo a pitchers park to boot? And he follows that up with 24, 35, 24 homer years still at SafeCo? And then he completely falls off the map in 2005 never to be heard from again? We've got a Screamer... Man Get Big Muscles In 30s. Hm...

2014 Pittsburgh Steelers helmet schedule