Someone Show Me My Paycheck Stat

A Journey into the Mind of Mike D'Antoni

...And that means the Chicago Bulls will have the #1 pick in the 2008 NBA Draft.

"Aww fuck are you god damn kidding me? The Bulls got the god damn #1 pick? That's not fair, why the hell didn't they tell me the NBA was rigging the lottery for them? I gotta deal with Stephon Marbury and trying to get fat ass Eddy Curry in shape and the fucking Bulls have the #1 pick in the god damn draft? Why? Why does the god damn NBA hate me?

Ok ok Mike calm down. It's ok, Beasley and Rose aren't that good. We're just in it for getting under the cap and luring Lebron to New York anyway, who cares about the #1 pick. Fuck who am I kidding this shit blows.

Ok ok, mental imagery time. Think about your first check. 6 million 6 million 6 million 6 million dollars each year. Ok ok, I think I'm better.

Man I want to kick that Bulls guy in the fucking groin.

I need something to drink."

End of the Journey into the Mind of Mike D'Antoni

Comments

M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post

Lou Holtz is the Homer / Annoyingly Delusional

As my buddy Joe and I always joke, if Notre Dame was suiting up against an all Jesus team, aka a team made up of 55 Sons of God, Lou Holtz would probably still pick Notre Dame to win by a touchdown. So of course this weekend when I'm watching Sportscenter and they have him and fellow old man Corso making predictions, Lou picks ND to beat Michigan. Not that big of a deal, Michigan is a big question mark this year, but of course than Lou says that Notre Dame will win 11 games this year. This is the same Notre Dame that lost to a service academy last year. And just when you thought the douchy homerism was going to end ESPN asks which BCS school is going to be the biggest surprise team in the country. Any guesses to whom it was? I'll give you a clue it was another team he coached. If you guessed South Carolina you would be a winner. Next up on Lou's prediction watch, the Jets win the Superbowl, NC St. wins the ACC, Arkansas dominates the SEC West, Minnesota wins the Big...

Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post

Guest Post: Thoughts on Sabathia Signing

I asked Grutt what his thoughts were on the Sabathia signing and I thought his response pretty much nailed it. So here it is. I don’t know. Every year I get a little more disenchanted with baseball. Yea, it’s great we signed the top pitching free agent. But we were supposed to. No team was even in the ballpark of the Yankees offer yet they still needed to jump from the already ridiculous price of $140 million to $160 million to close the deal. Now I hear we are going to sign more pitchers who will also get large contracts and the position player gaps are still glaring. Each new, large contract just adds to the feeling that the Yanks are supposed to win it all. “I think we have a good chance this year.” That is a lost feeling. If they don’t win I’ll wonder why, like there has to be some other reason besides that it’s a sport you can never predict how things will work out and some years just aren’t yours to be won. If they win I will be pleasantly smug. It gets a little more...

Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post

SimonOnSports

Search This Blog