Skip to main content

Why is Oliver Perez the Only Mexican Who Has to Work Today

It's Cinco De Mayo, which unfortunately lands on a miserable monday, but it's time to look at the Mexican baseball players out there and how they will be celebrating their holiday.

Mexicanos Working

Oliver Perez - I don't really know if it's a good idea for Oliver Perez to start on Cinco de Mayo. He doesn't exude work ethic to me. I see him as someone more likely to say eh screw this, if I get rocked I can get some Tequila shots earlier rather than later. Or perhaps he has tequila prior to the game and pitches better. Regardless, he certainly doesn't seem like he should be the only Mexican in Major League Baseball Working today.

Mexicanos Hoping for a Day Off

Joakim Soria - The Royals are playing tonight, but they're playing the red hot Angels with Ervin Santana on the hill against Brett Tomko. Let's just say chances are Soria has a relaxing Cinco de Mayo.

Mexicanos on Siesta

Edgar Gonzalez - He would have started tonight, but he sucked so he was replaced in the rotation by stud rookie Max Scherzer. Oh well, more time for tequila.

Yovani Gallardo - Will be doing nothing after blowing out his knee last week.

Luis Mendoza - On the DL as well, though with a 9.31 ERA I doubt the Rangers miss him.

Alfredo Amezaga - Hitting a slamming .243 for the Marlins. He shall be getting intoxicated as the Marlins do not play today.

Jorge Cantú - He's not completely sucking, but look out this week after the intense hang over is expected tomorrow.

Luis Ayala - Pitching well in the Nats pen but has the night off for a sizzling burrito dinner.

Dennys Reyes - Chillin in the warm weather of Minnesota with the night off.

Jorge Campillo - Chuckin in the pen in Atlanta with the night off, is a night trip to Mexico out of the question? I don't think so.

Oscar Villarreal - Another bullpen guy (does Mexico only produce mediocre relief pitchers?) who has the night off in Houston. That's even closer to Mexico, I think the Astros better watch Villarreal and make sure he doesn't get involved with any tranny hookers on a wild night of celebration.

Esteban Loaiza - Not starting tonight for the Dodgers, and might get his next start skipped anyway, so drink up Esteban.

Jorge de La Rosa - Got a spot start on Saturday for the Rockies, he gave up 9 runs in 4 innings. He might not get any more starts.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Simon... you can go f*** yourself.... lousy junkie americans celebrate this OUR Holiday too, so off with this nonsense
Simon said…
More lousy junkie americans celebrate St. Patrick's Day, it's an excuse to get drunk. Lighten up.

Popular posts from this blog

M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

Numbers On Steroids: Bret Boone

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. Mr. Boone was once the best power hitting second baseman in the league. How questionable was his success? Averages Say: Why the extra plateu in his mid 30s? At Bats Per Home Run Says: Lowest at Bats Per Home Runs at 37? Hmm.... Explaining It Away Yeak, this one is tough. Umm, late bloomer? He showed potential power early in his career and he just liked playing in Seattle a lot more than everywhere else? And umm, his career was kind of like a running backs in that it just all of a sudden fell off the map? Any of these convincing you? The Verdict Guy never hits more than 24 home runs in a season and then in his age 32 season he hits 37? And in SafeCo a pitchers park to boot? And he follows that up with 24, 35, 24 homer years still at SafeCo? And then he completely falls off the map in 2005 never to be heard from again? We've got a Screamer... Man Get Big Muscles In 30s. Hm...

Numbers On Steroids: Mickey Mantle

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. This week it's throwing a curve ball and looking at All Time Great Yankees. Players that we know did not take steroids to see if this gives a defense to any of the players 'convicted' by Numbers on Steroids. Time to look at my dad's favorite athlete of all time, Mickey Mantle. Averages Say: What's with the mysterious dip at 27 and then the uptick? At Bats Per Home Run Says: That's a mighty jump from 22 to 24 Explaining As If It Was the 90s If you take a look at the numbers there are two time frames which in the 1990s would be questioned. First would be the incredible leap he took from his first year in the big leagues to his first MVP season in 1956. His batting average jumped 50 points. His slugging percentage jumped 90 points and he hit 15 more homers than his previous high. This wouldn't merrit a conviction nowadays though because the young age he...