College Football Picture Caption

1. "So Mike, just to let you know I'm going to try to keep my job so you're gonna get 40 carries a game."
2. "Nothing like facing Joe Pa to make me look less senile."
3. "Thank the good lord, back to the Big 10 where we don't believe in having athletic quarterbacks that can torch our defense."

1. "I was going to propose two weeks ago after we beat Southern Florida, but we lost..."
2. "I was definitely going to propose last week after Miss St. but we lost."
3. "I thought about not proposing today because of that hideous dress but I have no idea when we will win another home game, so will you marry me."

1. "I'd like to thank Jesus for giving me legs. Without them none of this would be possible."
2. "I'd like to thank Jesus for allowing the Washington Huskies to be coached by Tyrone Willingham thus allowing me to run this kick back and praise Jesus."
3. "If Jesus really loved me I'd be playing at USC."

1. "Who took a dump on my head?"
2. "The black patch makes me look like a wildcat in the safari."
3. "I know I didn't play this weekend but it was Charlston Southern, can we just say I threw for 450 and 5 tds for my Heisman campaign?"

1. "Ooh Donna save it for later..."
2. "Your so much more handsome than Dumbo Larry."
3. "Actually our Defensive Tackles like Old Woman more than I do."

1. "I can't see that far, but did both of our defenders just fall down yet again?"
2. "That was tough, or not."
3. "I won't even have to wash my uniform after the game."

1. "Must we play in the Big 10? How about a few more games against Northeastern."
2. "If I recover this fumble maybe we will lose by less than 80."
3. "Atleast this is less embarrassing than losing to Duke."

1. "No sh*t. We actually can score offensive touchdowns. Who knew."
2. "Touchdown Jesus lives..."
3. [Photo Actually Taken from 2005 season]

1. "This is how you toe touch boys."
2. "I stomp on your stupid Stanford education."
3. "You see the seem work on the groin of these pants. Ya Nike knows how to make those Asians work."

1. "We just saved your job for another day."
2. "Can we bring back Patrino?"
3. "So much for the Heisman."

The End

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M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

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Numbers On Steroids: Mickey Mantle

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. This week it's throwing a curve ball and looking at All Time Great Yankees. Players that we know did not take steroids to see if this gives a defense to any of the players 'convicted' by Numbers on Steroids. Time to look at my dad's favorite athlete of all time, Mickey Mantle. Averages Say: What's with the mysterious dip at 27 and then the uptick? At Bats Per Home Run Says: That's a mighty jump from 22 to 24 Explaining As If It Was the 90s If you take a look at the numbers there are two time frames which in the 1990s would be questioned. First would be the incredible leap he took from his first year in the big leagues to his first MVP season in 1956. His batting average jumped 50 points. His slugging percentage jumped 90 points and he hit 15 more homers than his previous high. This wouldn't merrit a conviction nowadays though because the young age he...

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This Is Why the New York Mets Can't Win Anymore

It's pretty simple why the Mets can't win games anymore and are morphing into the second worst team in the National League, they can't score runs. The below chart shows exactly whats happenned to their offensive output since each of the major devastating injuries. The blue line shows runs scored for each game through out the season. The pink line shows the average runs the Mets scored when they had everyone, the yellow when they were missing Delgado, the light blue when they were missing Delgado and Reyes, and finally the purple when they were missing Delgado, Reyes and Beltran. In the abscence of Reyes, Delgado and Beltran the Mets are averaging barely over 3 runs per game. In stark contrast, with everyone on the roster the Mets were scoring just over 5 runs per game. That's a wholesale difference and why their roster now equals a lot of losses and a day by day progression further out of a playoff spot.

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