June's Waste of Oxygen Award

It was an exciting month of June for Douches and Morons and after a few competitive weeks it's time to vote on who was the biggest Douche of the entire month. Take a look at the competitors:

Week 1 Winner, Gary Sheffield - Gary came out and threw out conspiracy theories about him getting suspended and about Latin players falling in line while Black players will always be who they be. Shut the hell up.

Week 2 Winner, Justine Henin - So ever wonder what kind of person would give an interview post match or game and say that they were more worried about their Herpes flare up than their actual opponent? Well that kind of person is Justine Henin. Who apparently was quoted as saying that she had a horrible night because her Herpes came out again. Woo. I bet the guy who used to be the Hardenne in Henin-Hardenne is proud to let the world know that he may or may not have gotten Herpes from his former wife.

Week 3 Winner, Pacman Jones - Oh Pacman, apparently the directive from Roger Goodell to stay away from the strip club went in one year and out the other, perhaps you dropped your appeal in anticipation for one of your trips to the club. Please Pacman, take my advice and bring the strip club to you, it's for your own good.

Week 4 Winner, Ratters of Stripper Golf - In the Pocono's this week there was a nice private golf outing that just happened to feature strippers and lap dances. David Gold was denied access to go see his buddies and when he complained neighbors called in the Po-Po to break up the ideal combo of golf and strippers. Lame.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Get Your Vote On

Comments

M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post

Lou Holtz is the Homer / Annoyingly Delusional

As my buddy Joe and I always joke, if Notre Dame was suiting up against an all Jesus team, aka a team made up of 55 Sons of God, Lou Holtz would probably still pick Notre Dame to win by a touchdown. So of course this weekend when I'm watching Sportscenter and they have him and fellow old man Corso making predictions, Lou picks ND to beat Michigan. Not that big of a deal, Michigan is a big question mark this year, but of course than Lou says that Notre Dame will win 11 games this year. This is the same Notre Dame that lost to a service academy last year. And just when you thought the douchy homerism was going to end ESPN asks which BCS school is going to be the biggest surprise team in the country. Any guesses to whom it was? I'll give you a clue it was another team he coached. If you guessed South Carolina you would be a winner. Next up on Lou's prediction watch, the Jets win the Superbowl, NC St. wins the ACC, Arkansas dominates the SEC West, Minnesota wins the Big...

Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post

Guest Post: Thoughts on Sabathia Signing

I asked Grutt what his thoughts were on the Sabathia signing and I thought his response pretty much nailed it. So here it is. I don’t know. Every year I get a little more disenchanted with baseball. Yea, it’s great we signed the top pitching free agent. But we were supposed to. No team was even in the ballpark of the Yankees offer yet they still needed to jump from the already ridiculous price of $140 million to $160 million to close the deal. Now I hear we are going to sign more pitchers who will also get large contracts and the position player gaps are still glaring. Each new, large contract just adds to the feeling that the Yanks are supposed to win it all. “I think we have a good chance this year.” That is a lost feeling. If they don’t win I’ll wonder why, like there has to be some other reason besides that it’s a sport you can never predict how things will work out and some years just aren’t yours to be won. If they win I will be pleasantly smug. It gets a little more...

Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post

SimonOnSports

Search This Blog