My old roommate Swallowman sent me a link to a Boston radio's site where they are embarking on an NCAA March Madness of Ugly. Anyway seemed fun enough so I'll break down my choices for the Sweet 16 they are currently at.
Sweet 16 Worthy
Popeye Jones: Popeye is one ugly man. Is that picture that far off, I think not. And what's up with the different eye level heights.
Ronaldinho: Deadspin recently posted an article where people in some South American country erected a statue of Ronaldinho as a horse and the depection was almost spot on in the face.
Charlie Villanueva: What a first round exit in favor of Patrick Ewing, that's just not right. Chucky is arguably the ugliest man in the NBA right now. Dudes got eyebrows made of bone and not hair. He should have dominated that bracket.
Sweet 16
Sam Cassell vs. Dan Shaghnessy: Really no competetion here. Sure Shaugnessy looks like a scrawny no steroid version of Carrot Top but he's only lasted this far because of weak competetion, and it's Boston. Although Dennis Johnson in the first rounds a little rough, hopefully that was completed prior to his massive heart attack. Anyway Sam Cassell is world class ugly. Uglier: Cassell
Chyna vs. Randy Johnson: Holy sh*t is this one tough. And Chyna knocked off Popeye Jones in the last round too, thats an accomplishment. As ugly as Randy Johnson is, his mullet is gone and Chyna is just so not attractive. Randy Johnson should be a final 4 participant unfortunately he was in the wrong bracket. Uglier: Chyna
Willy McGee vs. Greg Popovich: Willy will be the first #1 seed to go down. Willy is a goofy looking dude, but Popovich looks like he would scare children away with his face. Imagine waking up and see Popovich in your closet as an 8 year old, wouldn't you be scarred for life. Uglier: Popovich
Reggie Miller vs. Bill Walton: Personally this is the weakest portion of the bracket, as neither of these guys are that ugly. Well Reggie in his prime was a little anorexic. Considering for a period of time I built out the beard, red uncurly fro, and wore headbands, Walton style, Reggie gets the nod. Uglier: Reggie
Otis Nixon vs. Kurt Warner's Wife: I'm not that cruel, Warner's wife did have a lot of cancer and I'll give that as an excuse for why she had the grey crew cut. Uglier: Otis
Julian Tavarez vs. John Cheney: Red Sox pitcher, hmm. Ya chalk him.
John Cheney is very old, sure he's a little odd looking but I think the oldness compounds it. Tavarez is just flat out ugly. Uglier: Tavarez
Jorge Cantu vs. Billy Jean King: Billy Jean King looks like a butch man right now. Cantu is just mexican so we'll give him a break. Uglier: BJK
Gheorge Muresan vs. Rebecca Lobo: Talk about two people you wouldn't want to see together in the post. If they mated would they create a mutant 8 foot 3 inch monster of ugly. Muresan doesn't look mentally there but he is, therefore he loses. Uglier: Gheorge
Elite 8
Sam Cassell vs. Chyna: Once again the toughest competetion comes from this bracket as Cassell and Chyna both have all time talent. In the end it's Sam, he's just a dominant force of ugly. Uglier: Cassell
Gregg Popovich vs. Reggie Miller: Pop had no competetion in this bracket after Chucky V's early and surprising exit. Pop walks over Reggie to the finals. Uglier: Popovich
Otis Nixon vs. Julian Tavarez: Not an exciting matchup. Tavarez is a scrub and Otis Nixon is an afterthought of a baseball player right now. Tavarez wins this because he's active and ugly. Uglier: Tavarez
Billy Jean King vs. Gheorge Muresan: Come on, I know she's a man, but not really an ugly man, just a man. Muresan now he's a championship contender. Uglier: Muresan
Final 4
Sam Cassell vs. Gregg Popovich: Popovich is a tough matchup for Cassell but lets be honest Cassell is thanking his lucky stars that he's not facing Chucky V right now. This one goes to the wire but Cassell takes it home. Uglier: Cassell
Julian Tavarez vs. Gheorge Muresan: Nobody likes seeing a blowout in the Final 4 but this is exactly what it is. Muresan faced steeper competetion in Lobo in the Sweet 16. Uglier: Muresan
Championship: Sam Cassell vs. Gheorge Muresan
And it all comes down to this a matchup between two icons of ugly, one a 7 foot 6 giant who looks menatally, well you know, the other a child of a fish and an alien. In the end Gheorge gets the pass based on the fact he is foreign and 7 foot 6 how could he not be ugly.
Congrats to Sam Cassell Champion of Ugly
Sweet 16 Worthy
Popeye Jones: Popeye is one ugly man. Is that picture that far off, I think not. And what's up with the different eye level heights. Ronaldinho: Deadspin recently posted an article where people in some South American country erected a statue of Ronaldinho as a horse and the depection was almost spot on in the face.
Charlie Villanueva: What a first round exit in favor of Patrick Ewing, that's just not right. Chucky is arguably the ugliest man in the NBA right now. Dudes got eyebrows made of bone and not hair. He should have dominated that bracket.
Sweet 16
Sam Cassell vs. Dan Shaghnessy: Really no competetion here. Sure Shaugnessy looks like a scrawny no steroid version of Carrot Top but he's only lasted this far because of weak competetion, and it's Boston. Although Dennis Johnson in the first rounds a little rough, hopefully that was completed prior to his massive heart attack. Anyway Sam Cassell is world class ugly. Uglier: Cassell
Chyna vs. Randy Johnson: Holy sh*t is this one tough. And Chyna knocked off Popeye Jones in the last round too, thats an accomplishment. As ugly as Randy Johnson is, his mullet is gone and Chyna is just so not attractive. Randy Johnson should be a final 4 participant unfortunately he was in the wrong bracket. Uglier: Chyna
Willy McGee vs. Greg Popovich: Willy will be the first #1 seed to go down. Willy is a goofy looking dude, but Popovich looks like he would scare children away with his face. Imagine waking up and see Popovich in your closet as an 8 year old, wouldn't you be scarred for life. Uglier: PopovichReggie Miller vs. Bill Walton: Personally this is the weakest portion of the bracket, as neither of these guys are that ugly. Well Reggie in his prime was a little anorexic. Considering for a period of time I built out the beard, red uncurly fro, and wore headbands, Walton style, Reggie gets the nod. Uglier: Reggie
Otis Nixon vs. Kurt Warner's Wife: I'm not that cruel, Warner's wife did have a lot of cancer and I'll give that as an excuse for why she had the grey crew cut. Uglier: Otis
Julian Tavarez vs. John Cheney: Red Sox pitcher, hmm. Ya chalk him.
John Cheney is very old, sure he's a little odd looking but I think the oldness compounds it. Tavarez is just flat out ugly. Uglier: TavarezJorge Cantu vs. Billy Jean King: Billy Jean King looks like a butch man right now. Cantu is just mexican so we'll give him a break. Uglier: BJK
Gheorge Muresan vs. Rebecca Lobo: Talk about two people you wouldn't want to see together in the post. If they mated would they create a mutant 8 foot 3 inch monster of ugly. Muresan doesn't look mentally there but he is, therefore he loses. Uglier: Gheorge
Elite 8
Sam Cassell vs. Chyna: Once again the toughest competetion comes from this bracket as Cassell and Chyna both have all time talent. In the end it's Sam, he's just a dominant force of ugly. Uglier: Cassell
Gregg Popovich vs. Reggie Miller: Pop had no competetion in this bracket after Chucky V's early and surprising exit. Pop walks over Reggie to the finals. Uglier: Popovich
Otis Nixon vs. Julian Tavarez: Not an exciting matchup. Tavarez is a scrub and Otis Nixon is an afterthought of a baseball player right now. Tavarez wins this because he's active and ugly. Uglier: Tavarez
Billy Jean King vs. Gheorge Muresan: Come on, I know she's a man, but not really an ugly man, just a man. Muresan now he's a championship contender. Uglier: Muresan
Final 4
Sam Cassell vs. Gregg Popovich: Popovich is a tough matchup for Cassell but lets be honest Cassell is thanking his lucky stars that he's not facing Chucky V right now. This one goes to the wire but Cassell takes it home. Uglier: Cassell
Julian Tavarez vs. Gheorge Muresan: Nobody likes seeing a blowout in the Final 4 but this is exactly what it is. Muresan faced steeper competetion in Lobo in the Sweet 16. Uglier: Muresan
Championship: Sam Cassell vs. Gheorge Muresan
And it all comes down to this a matchup between two icons of ugly, one a 7 foot 6 giant who looks menatally, well you know, the other a child of a fish and an alien. In the end Gheorge gets the pass based on the fact he is foreign and 7 foot 6 how could he not be ugly.Congrats to Sam Cassell Champion of Ugly
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Adolpho vs. the chicken is how I spend 10-15 percent of every working day.