SimonOnSports

So you go pretty much everywhere and right now people are criticizing the Celtics for trading for an aging Ray Allen and to this I have to say, whats the point? It's not that bad of a deal, and they didn't give up that much sure he's only good for a year or two and this doesn't make them a potential champion but what would? KG wouldn't have, Marion wouldn't have, Allen doesn't. So to me this is the lesser of all evils, they kept Jefferson and got rid of Wally World's miserable contract. Hell they even kept Gerald Green who I think will develop into a better offensive player than either Jeff Green or Corey Brewer. Let face it once those ping pong balls bounced in the wrong direction the Celtics effectively signed themselves up for 5 years of mediocrity. You know how many teams in the NBA have won a championship since 1980 without a top 5 player? At most 3, and you can argue that Ike during his prime of the Bad Boy Pistons was a top 5 player. Other th...

I don't mean to rip Oden mostly cause he seems like a large 7 foot dork, and a nice guy and everything and it could be my Duke hate talking but if you read his blog entry about Josh McRoberts it was quite um... Lets say not too straight. Here's a little snippet of Greg on Josh and their day together. It's JOSH MCROBERTS, one of my favorite people in the world. He is one of the funniest people I have met, and the one person in high school basketball that I dreaded playing, because I had to guard him and he is a monster. He uses both hands on the court. That gives him an edge on everybody else. He was here for a day so I got to hang out with him. It was one of the greatest days. Him and a couple of his friends and I laid out at his pool, played horse in the pool, stayed in too long, hands got wrinkled and when we got tired of being in the pool his mom came and grilled some hamburgers and teriyaki chicken with macaroni salad and cookies. It was the BOMB! So I bet when the Bl...

In Joakim's defense he is French so the resemblance to a poodle should not be shocking. But in all honesty just look at him, you want him on your basketball team? With the bow tie and the blowout, and the belief that he's thug life ? I am just thankful he's not in Boston, what a relief. I guess in more defense to Noah this is his dad, so how could you possibly expect to be normal when your father looks like that, is french, a pop star, and your mother is a Swede.

Outside of the Benoit issue which I'm not gonna touch for these awards there really aren't that many people to hit upon as being that dumb this week. But we'll make due. Here are the contestants for this week: 1. Jon Kitna - Someone just might be a bit delusional. Kitna said that the Lions, the same Lions that suck every season should be disappointed if they don't win 10 games. The Lions Jon? You guys were everyones, except mine, sleeper team last year and you burnt them. Jon no chance you win 10 this season. 2. Basketball Talking Heads - Every single trade rumor starts somewhere and its not just the GMs for the past week we've heard KG is going here, Kobe there, Amare there and then come draft night its Ray Allen traded and Zach Randolph in a deal no one talked about it. Good job Bucher, Ford, Stein, etc. 3. Ratters of Stripper Golf - In the Pocono's this week there was a nice private golf outing that just happened to feature strippers and lap dances....

Someone really needed to show this ad to Federer either prior or right after the French Open Finals. It could have given him an idea of something to do or slightly cheered him up post another defeat. Courtesy of 100% Injury Rate

Any dork like me at some point in there life found a video game so enthralling that they could not put it down. For me the worst came with my first experiences of Tiger Woods golf, as soon as I started playing it on my buddies playstation in college I was hooked. I would be in his room playing every time he was out of the room, whenever he was in class etc, until one day he decided he was going to skip class to play himself. This frazzled me so badly that I decided to run out to Best Buy and buy the game myself. For the next few days and weekends, I played almost non stop Tiger Woods golf until I beat everything. Since the end of college I've pretty much kicked the video game, have yet to set up my playstation in the 2 years I've been out and generally just have no motivation to get back into it. But for a large portion of my life and especially during the weeks of a Tiger Woods release, I was borderline addicted. But not according to the American Medical Association who c...

This is going to be short and sweet... 1) Portland: Greg Oden, they already said they were taking him. 2) Seattle: Kevin Durant, they get the 2nd serving. 3) Atlanta: Al Horford, Hawks make the right call? 4) Memphis: Mike Conley, Grizz need a pt guard. 5) Boston: Corey Brewer, Celtics get some defense. 6) Milwaukee: Joakim Noah, Bucks go for defense. 7) Minnesota: Brandan Wright, T-Wolves throw in KG replacement. 8) Charlotte: Jeff Green, Jordan takes another big time college player. 9) Chicago: Yi Jianlian, Paxson dancing in the streets of Chicago. 10) Sacramento: Spencer Hawes, the Kings are the ones who take a 7 foot white guy. 11) Atlanta: Javaris Crittenton, the Hawks take hometown boy instead of the right guy. 12) Philly: Al Thorton, a relative waste of a pick. 13) New Orleans: Nick Young, Hornets gladly walk away with Young. 14) Los Angeles: Acie Law IV, Clipshow are very glad Hawks took Crittenton. I always enjoy the goofy Stern staring up at the 6-11 giants at t...

This is not my mock draft this is not what I think will happen but this is what I think each team should do. If you look at the draft it is my personal opinion that you shouldn't necessarily draft the best available player or the player you deem has the most potential, instead you should draft the player that is going to help your team the most both present and future. If you already have 7 swingmen, ala the Hawks, and you have a glaring need at PG take the friggin point guard. Pick #1 Portland Trailblazers Glaring Needs: A Centerpiece 3 to Consider: 1) Greg Oden 2) Kevin Durant, there are no more options and there isn't much to discuss. The Man to Draft: They have to take Oden and find someone to take Zach Randolph off their hands. Randolph is an overpayed malcontent. I think the rumors about them wanting to pair Conley with Oden are a little far fetched but getting something decent in return for Randolph is a smart move. Pick #2 Seattle Sonics Glaring Needs: A Big Man, ...

To me High School was nothing more than a grind of doing nothing. I went to school everyday did my homework every period for the class next period, read as much cliff notes as possible didn't quite become a partyer until college. So to sum it up the only thing I remotely missed about High School when I entered the best drunkest 4 years of my life was my high school baseball team. The College team just wasn't the same, I grew up with the kids on my high school team, had played with them forever and even rotted the bench on a Little League State Championship in which we finished 3 games away from the World Series. So without baseball I would have fully hated high school instead of just plain ready to get out of town at the conclusion. Well last week in Stoneham Mass , population 22,219, just north of Boston, they have decided to cut their high school sports programs , to which I say you people are evil. They didn't eliminate a struggling sport here or an expensive sport t...

I don't know about you but I'm looking forward to the end of the NBA draft and all of these trade rumors. I'm sick of hearing Jefferson's name fluctuated in every single deal, and sick about hearing how players think Boston sucks, or how players want out of their town. Every damn day KG is going here, Amare here, draft picks here, Kobe here, Andruw Bynam this that and the other. Enough already. What's even funnier is that Danny Ainge says that it's doubtful the Celtics trade their #5 pick . So what he's saying is that he's tried to trade the pick for the past month and it hasn't happened so it probably isn't going to happen before the draft cause, well no one wants to play in Boston. "I think it's unlikely," the pick will be traded, Danny Ainge said. "I've felt that way from the beginning, that these trades are hard to come by." Litterly I've been so sick of the Jefferson trade talks that I thought about starti...

In another case of a retired athlete that is bored out of his mind, Allan Houston was just on the Stephen A Smith show and he's starting to put together thoughts about returning back to the NBA. He stated that he would like to come back if he knows he can contribute to another team and that he's enjoying working out again and being healthy. He would like to come back and contribute to a team towards an NBA Championship and if he was to come back that would be his preference. He brought up names like Jerry Stackhouse as veterans who jump in and on a solid team and are just role players. He also stated that the Knicks would not be his first choice. Stephen A after his phone disconnected mentioned that he didn't play at all last year but made 21 million, you have to love the great moves of Scott Layden. For all the ripping that Isiah Thomas receives, it's not as if he's been worse than Layden was. Hey I enjoyed Allan Houston I thought he was a solid player, but it ...

I know the last time I went to a Yanks Sox game there were definitive moments where I thought about doing this. I'm really glad that they beeped out the chinese swear words, I would have been seriously scarred if those hit my ears.

I really just enjoyed the cocking of the other leg and the release into the face. Nothing says fun like jogging into a full blown knee to the face. Also you have to love all of the European names envolved. The Goalie is Heinz Müller, I love the two dotted u, what does that mean? And the dude getting jacked up is Geir Ludvig Fevang. And bringing the corny joke, he has been Defevanged, ha ha that was horrendous.

Some of these shots the goalies had no friggin chance on but still it has to be pretty embarrassing to watch a guy kick it from midfield and it sail over your head into the back of the net. That's got to be depressing. Probably not as bad as these from last week , but still. My favorite shot is Essien's and how the thing bent from well outside the post to just on the inner half. Diesel shot. The only thing that would make this video more enjoyable is if it didn't have that friggin annoying Fargilicious song, I absolutely despise everything that girl ever comes out with. Courtesy of The Offside , which is probably the greatest soccer site in the history of mankind.

Let's peak into the mind of possible things Rollins could have been thinking of when the ball was coming at his head: ~Hey atleast its not gonna hit me in the nuts. ~It's better than the AA Batteries that hit me at Shea. ~Is Cliff Lee a Phillies fan? ~Did Lee trade for me in his fantasy league after I hit 9 homers in the 1st two weeks? ~Good thing I wasn't wearing my sweet sunglass, those would have been busted ~I should have batted lefty. ~Perhaps he's mad at me for saying I thought Cliff Lee was fat ~6-0 and I'm Getting drilled in the Head, should have played basketball ~I hope I can get up and knock this white boy out ~I hope they got some Motrin back there I don't really have much else to add to this but I thought this picture was that humurous that it needed to be up on the site one way or another. Luckily for Rollins his brain was not effected from the blow, perhaps unlucky for the Mets fans up the Jersey Turnpike.

Back when I was in middle school and the early stages of high school I like many others my age got into wrestling. It was at its prime, WCW was peaking with the introduction of the NWO and the WWF introduced Degeneration X and the Rock was starting to peak people's interest. Eventually I waned off watching but I have always been familiar with the characters. The Canadian Crippler, Chris Benoit had been around forever. He was a mainstay at WCW and when that organization folded the WWE(F) snatched him up immediately. One thing was certain from his on stage persona, he was a guy who they could always run out to be a pissed off foaming at the mouth mother f'er. Well this weekend he canceled his appearance at the WWE's pay per view due to personal reasons, on yesterday he along with his wife and their son were found dead in what is believed to be a murder suicide , with the death of the wife and son believed to have occurred over the weekend and Benoit dead sometime yesterda...

When I went to London and saw the Jump London documentary I immediately thought that Free Running/Parkour was cool . Well here's an example of just how much it can suck to miss one of your jumps. Poor kid cries like a baby, perhaps you shouldn't have tried to do such a ridiculous jump with only concrete to land on. Ouch.

Or perhaps it's a good idea as somehow this dude knocks himself out and yet the other wuss taps out because of a body slam? Come on man atleast get punched in the face once or twice, what is wrong with you? I don't think you will ever live this one down, you tapped out of a fight when the other guy was unconscious. Just hang up your MMA gloves right now and pursue some other career. I always thought the DDT was the simplest and sweetest wrestling move ever invented however this is definitely the first time I've seen someone give themselves a DDT. I think he's probably going to try to avoid doing that in the future. Courtesy of With Leather

After another weekend of craptacular play the Yanks find themselves a game under .500 once again, and sitting behind the Toronto Blue Jays for 3rd place in the AL East a whopping 11.5 back of the Red Sox and 6.5 behind the Wild Card leading Indians. And while you could point the finger throughout the season towards the bullpen, the inconsistant hitting, or the millions of starting pitching injuries and beatdowns, here's a question why with a $200 million dollar payroll is the bench amongst the worst in Major League Baseball. The Culprits Melky Cabrera, Backup / Starting OF - We'll lump the Melkman with the bench despite the fact he's a starter now with Greese Head Steroids boy on the DL. The Melkman as a starter has been pretty decent since being thrusted into the everyday lineup batting over .300 for the month of June. However, his statline still reads a bit ugly. A .254 pretty much implies that when he was not starting and being put into the lineup sporadically he wa...

So I embarked on the world of beer league softball this year. For the first time I'm doing multiple leagues and I have multiple games per week, which means every week there is another way I can be amazed at how we can lose a game. This week is just the perfect showing of how to be bad at softball. Wednesday So I'm in two leagues as I said, the first of which is a weeknight league with my buddies from the town over. To sum our team up we consist of a few athletes, a couple of decent kids, a few fat guys and some kids that I don't think ever played softball before. In other words we've got the full spectrum. So I start the game in the leadoff spot and line out to the SS, hit the ball on the button but right at him, what can you do. Anyway we go on score a few runs, blah blah. Then we get into the field make a ton of errors they score some runs superb. My next two at bats I hit one 3 Run Homer to Left Center and then I hit another 3 run homer down the left field line...

Little Mac still is a little wuss 20 years later and he doesn't even have to go against the ear munchin raper Mike Tyson. Weak little Mac weak. I'm a sucker for all things Mike Tyson's punchout, I even went as Glass Joe for halloween , greatest game ever.

Ok sometimes you just here shit that baffles your mind. Every franchise gets someone random to throw out first pitches, whether they be a mayor who couldn't hit a barn or the GW or an ex player. There's always something different. But the Red Sox of course have taken this to a new level. They are having a friggin monkey throw out the first pitch. A friggin monkey that's great. And apparently it's for a fund raiser. A monkey named Ayla will throw out the ceremonial first pitch before next Saturday’s game at Fenway Park against Texas. It is part of the Helping Hands: Monkey Helpers for Disabled, Inc., outing at Fenway. So now we're apparently letting monkeys help the disabled? What do they fetch them bananas and throw poo at their enemies? If so I want one and I'm only slightly mentally disabled. Photo and Tip Obviously Courtesy of With Leather

So you know how atleast one of your friends when you hit up the amusement park wusses out of a ride saying something stupid like what I don't want to die have you seen Final Destination 3, the whole roller coaster, everyone dies. And then you make fun of them and go off on your merry way. Well in Kentucky thankfully no one is dead, but the Superman Tower of Power, cut off a 16 year old girls feet . "The people on the ride just came and hit the ground," a witness said. "When I got up there, the lady she was just sitting there, and she didn't have no legs. ... And she was just there, calm, probably in shock from everything." "I seen the car go up. Then, like, the cable broke, I heard -- pwchh -- and I heard a lot of people screaming," Chris Stinnett, who was at a ride next to the Superman Tower of Power, told WDRB/WMYO. "The cable went under the car -- and I seen it pull up and hit a lot of people -- and I seen them bring their legs up," ...

~Vinny Baker got charged with a DUI , I never knew he was a drunk? Since when did that guy start picking up a bottle? He was such a model citizen when he played in Boston. ~Thank you KG for not wanting to play in Boston, I did not want you either and I will be much happier watching Big Al dominate the paint for the next ten years. ~What could possibly signify being the worst golfer on the planet? How about starting a fire that burned down 15 to 20 acres of land with one of your golf swings cause you duffed the previous shot in the woods? ~Apparently there is debate about which team Jews should like more the Yanks or the Red Sox and there's a big case that it should be for the Red Sox cause they have Youkilis and Ep stein . But here's what I do know, when I went to the Yankee game last week there weren't just a couple of Jews in my section there were a boatload of Jews in my section and lets face it there's a lot more Jews in New York than Boston, and the Yankees do...

As a lifelong Yankee fan I should really be able to sit and watch a game broadcast by the home stations and be able to enjoy myself but I just can't. They are miserable and often I find myself enjoying the Joe Buck changup when they play on FOX on the weekends. I can't believe I just said that, excuse me for a moment while cleanup the vomit on my floor... Ok, so as I was saying, watching the Yankee broadcast and even worse listening to the radio is excruciating. Here's a rundown from the Yankee broadcasters who are OK to the worst of the worst... 9. Ken Singleton - Ken is really the only broadcaster the Yankees have the gets a lot of games that I truly enjoy listening to. He has a solid voice and is usually pretty informative and him and Jim Kaat last year doing games together were very good. Too bad friggin Kaat retired. 8. Bobby Murcer - Bobby is really good but since his cancer he hasn't been around nearly as much as he used to be, but when he is around he does a ...

Another strong week for morons and losers which consisted of getting caught masterbating, more trips to the strip clubs, a little blind faith in America and finally clearing Slammin Sammy of any wrong doing. Here are this weeks contestants: 1. Byron Houston - I certainly can't claim to remembering Byron Houston's illustrious playing days at either OSU or in the pros, but his news last week of getting caught masterbating in his car was certainly classic. And he has a solid history of indecent exposure, nice job Byron. 2. Alexi Lalas - This pompous dumb ass is so drunk off American soccer that he thinks that the MLS is as good as the Premiership arguably the best league in the world, as well as thinking that Beckham will be bigger than Tigger and MJ. What an ass. 3. Pacman Jones - Oh Pacman, apparently the directive from Roger Goodell to stay away from the strip club went in one year and out the other, perhaps you dropped your appeal in anticipation for one of your trips to...

Alright in further evidence that I'm a dork, when I was younger I did in fact enjoy the Power Rangers for a few years. What? I was in 5th grade for christs sakes, it wasn't that horrendous of a show, I watched it after Transformers in the mornings before I went to school. Anyway apparently, the guy that played the Green Ranger, aka the one with the Zelda like whistle knife and his own Dragon Robot, is going to participate in his first Mixed Martial Arts fight. Apparently Jason David Frank or Tommy Oliver the Green Ranger, is a 6th degree blackbelt in Karate and has opened up 4 studios to keep some of that Power Ranger Cash flow coming in. He'll be fighting on saturday night so lets hope that he throws down for the sake of the universe. Most likely he'll get his ass kicked cause A) The Karate Guys always seem to get mauled and B) Well he was a Power Ranger.

The Swing and the Miss... The Out for a Sunday Stroll at the Park... I wonder how many kids would go to camps developed by these guys, probably none, or maybe the handicapped? Courtesy of Who Ate All the Pies , I'm not really sure what Who Ate All the Pies is in reference to and I don't really get it.

I have no idea why anybody in the world would come out and defend Sammy Sosa, but off to the races is Steve Phillips who appeared on the Screamin A and Jackass Mike Missanelli show this afternoon. First of all Phillips proclaimed that he does not think there is any smoking gun surrounding Sammy Sosa which is absolutely ridiculous. But here's some of his points on why he thinks Sammy Sosa did not take steroids and me taking him to town on them: 1. At the trial, despite not being able to speak english during the majority of it, he denied using steroids. Oh no a verbal denial, Sammy wouldn't lie right? Just ask Rafael "I did not take steroids period" Palmeiro if you can lie in front of a grand jury. 2. Roger Maris' 61 home run year came out of nowhere so why couldn't Sosa's 60+ come out of nowhere. That's complete nonsense. First of all Roger Maris had one season where he hit 60+ not 3 out of 4 like Sosa did. Oh and here's a fact Maris lead the ...

Maceo Rigters of Holland ties up the Under 21 championship match in the 89th minute against England, which lead to a marathon 13-12 shootout victory for the Dutch. I wonder if this kid will ever have a cooler goal in his life, my guess is no, so son your football career has hit its climax. Anton Ferdinand younger brother of Man U Player Rio, was the English goat missing the final English penalty allowing the Dutch to capatalize for the victory. Here's the whole highlight video including penalties . It's a pretty good watch.

In the last months of 8th grade I was starting to visit different high schools to see if I wanted to go to one of the Prep schools in the area or if I wanted to continue my path down the public schooling method. Much is the same for Ryan Boatwright, a stud basketball player in the 8th grade in Aurora, Illinois who has to choose between East Aurora High and West Aurora High. Oh but there's a big difference as Boatwright while attending a USC Basketball Camp just so happened to give verbal commitment for a scholarship to USC. SO logically this makes no sense, he has yet to step foot in a high school, he has no idea where he's going to high school and yet at the age of 14 he knows he has a scholarship to USC? Super. Oh and traveling from Illinois to LA for a Camp like that isn't shady, come on the Illini don't have a camp down the street? Oh and the quotes well they are classic... "They were the first one to show interest in Ryan," said Boatwright's fat...

As if running up and down a court and dunking with the use of a trampeline isn't a big enough waste of time this dude, somehow pulls a Shaq and absolutely torches the backboard. Cleanup on aisle 11. Ruling, Bill Raftery must do the sound to this video. Send it in Jerome...

Slammin Sammy finally made it to 600 ironically against the team he cheated with the most. In the bottom of the 5th this evening Sammy went blast off against the torridly heading back to his miserable norm Jason Marquis. After taking a whole year off, to eliminate all of the steroids in his system, and a year prior where he couldn't hit a beach ball Say it Ain't Sosa finally reached this epic milestone. Hooray for Sammy... Ugh. No one will ever really know how many homeruns off Sammy's bat that launched over the fences year after year were due to either the drugs that he most certainly took, or the corked batting practice bat that he most likely mistakenly took to the plate daily. But thankfully this will be the last of the Slammin Sammy milestones, and he will walk quitely into the sunset at the conclusion of this season, with nobody make a big spectacle until his Hall of Fame candidacy debate pops up in 5 years.

Nothing bothered me more during the Celtics psuedo good years when they were competing for the horrible Eastern Conference finals than Kenny Anderson's top of the key jumper. Every single time he caught the ball at the top of the key beyond the three point line he would take two steps to the college three line and take his 20 foot jumper. I never understood why he wouldn't just take a damn three and it always bothered me. Well after a few years, Kenny Anderson has surfaced to begin his head coaching career as he landed the job of the, drumroll please, the Atlanta Krunk in the CBA. The Atlanta Krunk, with a K even, that's a legitimate team, wow. Apparently they were even known as the Atlanta Krunk Wolverines last year, why the droppage of a second mascot name? The Krunk will be making their long awaited debut in the CBA this fall, wait the CBA still exists? I thought Isiah ran that league into the toilet. Oh well. Oh and the Krunk just might have the ugliest websit...