Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Using my vast knowledge of the Universe I have uncovered what people around the globe are dressing up as for Halloween.
Drew Bledsoe is very distraught and is headed out for Halloween as Lorraine Bobbit. He will be carrying a large knife and desperately searching for Tony Romo in order to eliminate his man piece.
Phil Mickelson went to his Halloween party as a fat and out of shape Tiger Woods thoe only future version of Tiger Woods he would be able to beat mano a mano in a big tourny.
Stephen A. Smith reported to a party wearing a muzzle as this is the only possible way for him to stop yelling.
Carl Pavano is walking around in a suit and driving a ferrari in his character of got away with Grand Theft and there is nothing that could bring me down.
Tom Brady dressed up a Zues god of all things football and had a child dressed up as Peyton Manning attend to all of his needs throughout the evening.
Jets and Colts D-Lines are going to dance battle in their respective Swiss Cheese Group Outifts to see who is the worst of the worst in stopping the run.
John Clayton from ESPN is sick and tired of being a little shrimp of a man and therefore he is headed out as Bane for Halloween and has been taking HGH and steroids for months in preparation.
DeAngelo Hall went online and ordered his Ocho Cinco blond mohawk headgear as he plans on mocking Mr. Chad Johnson and his miniscule one touchdown and 70 yards.
Larry Coker walked around the streets of Miami this weekend with a clipboard and a headset on an informed the community that he was still a head football coach. Most people didn't believe him.
Sebastian Telfair is dressing up as a model citizen who just happens to be involved in the shooting of a famous rapper, scratch the model citizen part of that sentence.
John Abraham, Ken Griffey and Grant Hill dressed up as the battered and bruised brothers with bandages and splints and braces all over their bodies.
Matt Millen, Isiah Thomas, Billy Knight are going together as a group as the Three Stooges of Sports Executives.
NHL Players will venture on the streets of 30 major US and Canadian cities tonight all dressed as the Invisible Man.
Every Wide Receiver in Pro Football found crybaby costumes and will wet themselves trick or treating whenever they see a football on the street thrown to someone other then themselves.
Jim Calhoun inspired by his wonderful students athletes wore an all black costume and carried around Dell Laptop Computers.
Latrell Sprewell walked around the streets of Milwaukee as a homeless man with an donation cup as he is still struggling to feed his family.
Earl Boykins wore stilts while walking around the streets of Denver so that when he told females that he played in the NBA that they might actually believe him for once.
Kristin and Anna Benson enter a big halloween contest a Slutty Miss Piggy and her very whipped Kermit the Frog. And Yes his name is actually Kristin.
Alex Rodriguez in an attempt to improve his hitting in the clutch is looking towards other places in the sports world for extremely clutch playoff performers. Because of this A-Rod purchased a Blue Colt Peyton Manning Jersey because as everyone knows Peyton is the Greatest playoff performer in NFL history.
Ben Roethlisberger is dressing up as a blind QB and walking around town throwing balls to any person in the street wearing a football jersey that is not black and gold.
Week 8 Awards
Wow You Guys Suck: San Francisco 49ers, Alright you knew that the 49ers were going to lose and that the Bears were looking to come back strong after the poor showing in the Desert, but 41-0 at halftime? Now that is pathetic. Runners Up: Eagles where was the offense this week, Arizona might as well hand Denny his walking papers today no point in forcing him to endure beatdowns the rest of the season.
Cough Cough Cough: Three Day Old Cheeseburger, How many people figured that Big Ben would through the first half of the season be by far the worst Quarterback in the league. He's played worse than Carr or Pennington maybe even Charlie Frye. Honestly I avoided putting the Steelers in the You Suck category because really Big Ben lost these game solely. This might be the biggest example ever of how one player could lose a football game.Runners Up: Chad Pennington played absolutely positively terrible against the Browns, David Carr did a solid job of scoring tds for the Titans.
This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: NFL Administration, Either don't let information about positive tests leak or make sure you don't turn into the MLB about suspension appeals. In a game against a solid Rams team Shawne Merriman was a huge difference maker with 3 sacks. If I was a Rams fan I'd be pretty pissed off. Runner Up: Bill Cowher you really should have started Batch this week after Big Ben's concussion hang over, Reggie Bush who just like every other RB in history who was given the opportunity to throw the Halfback option decided it was a good idea to throw into double coverage.
The Shocker: Oakland Raiders, It's pretty shocking when come Monday morning you look at a teams offensive stats and see that they had zero absolutely no production and yet won the game by a full touchdown. The Steelers are sunk they aren't going 8-1 down the stretch. Runners Up: Tony Romo's play and leadership in helping the Cowboys blow out the Panthers in the 4th quarter was very surprising, New England Patriots who at no point in time last night looked like they were going to lose.
The Pimp: Michael Vick, If this guy can go out there and be as efficient with the ball as he was this week with 290+ yards and 3 tds with no INTs then forget about it. While I'm not going to proclaim Vick as a sure thing to repeat this from week to week, the Falcons certainly look very good right now and should be the favorites to take the south. Runners Up: Reggie Wayne certainly had an enjoyable day with 3 tds in Denver, Larry Johnson was given the ball on practically ever down in their effort to beat the Madden Cursed Seahawks.
You Got JAKKED UP: Chad Johnson, Sure it was a late hit and completely not part of the play but Chad got crushed by the Falcons safety when he wasn't looking.
My Fantasy MVP: Michael Vick, I picked him up on the waiver wire earlier this year to be my backup to the wonderful Daunte Culpepper well Culpepper flamed out and I thought I was in big trouble, well the last two weeks of Vick putting up 30+ points certainly makes me feel more comfortable going down the fantasy stretch.
New York Jets MVP: Justin Miller, Really the only spark that the Jets had this weekend came from Justin's kickoff return. The Jets played very poorly throughout the game and have an incredibly difficult time in getting any push on the defensive line, but Miller kept them in the game with his return and if the ref wasn't blind the game would have been tied up with a minute remaining.
My Picks: 6-8
Preseason Picks: 6-8
Picks Vs. Spread: 6-8
Ugh well that was an absolutely miserable week of pick em games. That's disgraceful that I couldn't even go .500 without the spread.
Week 8 Extra Quick Notes
~I really would like to know the last time a team won when they completed 5 or less passes during the course of the game. The Raiders had a total of 98 yards on offense and had 5 completions but still won because Big Ben was that bad.
~I would like to give an apology to Bill Parcells for even remotely questioning his decision making.
~This summed up the Giants game, I was in the car listening to the fan on my ride home monday and Chris Carlin who hosts a Giants show before going to break said this, "Coming up next we will talk to Jeff Feagles, Giants punter, who played a big part in yesterdays game." And the Giants were the team that scored 17 points, damn was that game boring.
~To top that off the other games I was able to watch on Sunday the Jets Browns and even worse Jax Eagles were just as boring and/or frustrating.
~Ocho Cinco did score finally, but his team lost and he didn't have a huge day either.
~How many receivers are going to drop huge balls, whether it be Keyshawn or any receiver on the Bucs, it seemed like no receiver wanted to catch passes this weekend.
~So anyone still questioning the Patriots as one of the best teams in the league, they're going to knock off the Colts at home and have homefield advantage, its inevitable. The reasons the Pats weren't stellar last year was because their whole team was injured.
~Ok lets establish this, the Jets are not a very good team, to say the should have gone into Cleveland and blown them out is stupid, the Jets don't have the talent to blow anyone out. Sure they should have beaten the Browns but why would you be surprised they didn't? In addition to rationalize and say that I shouldn't be upset with that horrible call because quote "The Jets didn't deserve to win the game." is the stupidest BS I've ever heard. They tied the game with a minute left, whether they played like crap for the first three quarters or not they should have had an opportunity in OT to win the game and that was stolen from them, so don't try to give me the deserve to win BS.
~Jacksonville is by far the hardest team to read in the NFL one week they'll go out and look absolutely terrible and then the next week they'll go out and shutdown one of the most explosive offenses in the leage. Go figure.
~Go to Drew Bledsoe's journal about Tony Homo.
Wow the NBA is starting up already, is it just me or does this seem incredibly early.
1. Miami Heat, Southeast Champs - The Heat may come into the season a little unenthused about the regular season games, but they have too much talent to not win their division again and thrust themselves into the playoffs as the eventually favorite.
2. Detroit Pistons, Central Champs - Absolutely Big Ben was a bad loss for this team, however the signing of Nazr Mohammed is an underrated signing as he will be more than serviceable down low and may actually be better on defense against Shaq in a possible playoff clash.
3. Cleveland Cavs - Lebron will once again strap the Cavs on his back and thrust them into the playoffs. They will come up just short of the division crown but a possible Wade Lebron matchup in the 2nd round would certainly be enticing.
4. New Jersey Nets, Atlantic Champs - Easily the weakest divsion in the NBA will be dominated by the Nets as long as they stay healthy. The drafting of Marcus Williams was incredibly intelligent and will serve to give Kidd ample rest time and keep him fresh for a possible postseason run.
5. Chicago Bulls - The Bulls are going to pose a big threat this season in the Eastern Conference. They have no superstar but they have a ton of talent this season and have added some toughness downlow with Big Ben and PJ Brown.
6. Washington Wizards - Gilbert Arenas has improved his numbers every season and to do that this season his numbers are going to have to be heroic. Either way the Wizz pack a lot of offensive firepower and should position themselves in the playoffs.
7. Indiana Pacers - The addition of Al Harrington should compensate for the offseason loss of Peja and the prior loss of Ron Artest. The Pacers play in by far the best division in the East, but should manage to win enough games to grab one of the final playoff spots.
8. Orlando Magic - Dwight Howard is a man child, Darko may emerge as a solid player and who knows maybe even Grant Hill could possibly contribute for a game or two this season. And with Jameer Nelson running the show the Magic could be solid all around.
9. Boston Celtics - Too much youth to really guarantee a playoff spot, they could be in the hunt down the stretch with Paul and Wally's world, but you just don't know what you're going to get from the big men downlow.
10. Philadelphia 76ers - Another disappointing season for one legged C-Webb and a worn down AI. AI should have been dealt in the offseason at his peak trade value and now the 76ers will be in the down swing for several seasons.
11. New York Knicks - They'll be improved by default this season, its not that hard to win more games than they did last year. But it won't matter they won't be in the playoff runnings come the last month of the season.
12. Milwaukee Bucks - Their division is too strong for them to have a great season. If they were in the Atlantic they would have a chance, instead they'll be near the East Basement.
13. Toronto Raptors - Why pick the Purple Dinosaur? Why? And TJ Ford? If I was Bosh I wouldn't have gone anywhere near a big time extension, sorry I wouldn't.
14. Atlanta Hawks - Ya this franchise is terrible, they do not know how to draft, they get a SF every time until this year when they went with the Landlord who is undersized and limited on offense.
15. Charlotte Bobcats - Not enough veteran leadership and the drafting of Sean May doesn't seem like it is going to work. The Bobcats are suiting up a college all star squad and that isn't going to be good enough.
1. Dallas Mavericks, Southwest Champs - The Mavs are back with pretty much the same roster only now they will be even hungrier to complete their title run. The Mavs have to be ecstatic with the development of Harris and Howard which should only increase this season.
2. Phoenix Suns, Pacific Champs - The Suns are obviously the favorites in the Pac, but their title hopes rest on the knees of Amare. If he can return to his 04-05 form then the Suns with the development of Diaw and the steady play of Nash and Marion could easily hoist the NBA title.
3. San Antonio Spurs - Will be in a battle with the Mavs and Suns for the best record in the conference but will come up just short of both. It will be interesting to see if Jackie Butler can adequately replace the departure of Nazr.
4. Denver Nuggets, Northwest Champs - Ugh this division is still terrible. Its amazing how difficult it is in the NBA to turn teams around from year to year. In this division who else could you remotely see as a threat to the Nuggets title?
5. Houston Rockets - If they can stay healthy all seasons they are going to be a difficult team to deal with come playoff time. They still have question marks at the PG position but they did wrap up a pure shooter in the draft with Steve Novak from Marquette, who has a pretty stroke.
6. LA Clippers - Maybe Sam Cassell will not play as well as last season but quite possibly it won't be needed if the Clippers can keep Shaun Livingston healthy.
7. LA Lakers - Kobe is too good to not get the Lakers in the playoffs. We established this last season and he will continue dragging the putrid remaining roster to the playoffs.
8. NO/OKC Hornets - You have to lack the addition of Peja to add some shooting to the roster as well as getting Tyson Chandler for a little youth and rebounding up front. The Hornets are going to be fighting for that last spot down the stretch and will narrowly grasp it.
9. Sacramento Kings - Bibby is out for awhile and Ronny might go nuts. It's amazing how this franchise went from perennial title contender that just couldnt get past the Lakers to an 9th seed contender so quickly.
10. Minnesota Timberwolves - Hey KG, get out of Minny ASAP. This squad has limited talent around you. You really think Mike James is going to help you out that much? Ricky Davis, Mark Blount, Vin Baker, is Kevin Garnett collecting annoying Celtics of the past.
11. Memphis Grizzlies - Memphis has made the playoffs the last two seasons but with Pau's injury in the World Championships and his absence for approximately the first two months of the season, the Grizz are going to find themselves in a hole that they will be unable to climb themselves out of.
12. Utah Jazz - Eh the whitest team in the NBA is probably not going to be good enough to make a solid run at the playoffs. Kirilenko is a fine player and they have some nice pieces, but in the end they will struggle to be close to .500.
13. Seattle Supersonics - This team is still Rashard Lewis and Ray Allen and are all perimeter no toughness. The Sonics only hope at making the playoffs lie squarely in the lap of Chris Wilcox who showed strong flashes after the trade from the Clippers. If he could develop into a low post threat they have a remote chance.
14. Golden St. Warriors - How about you draft someone that both shows potential to improve but also includes a track record. The Warriors just seem to be one of the most poorly run franchises in sports. Sorry Mullin.
15. Portland Trailblazers - Atleast there shouldn't be as many felonies as there were in the past. Other than that you have a lot of Raef Lafrenz to look forward to. Just give the ball to Brandon Roy non stop and help him get the Rookie of the Year trophy so you have something to enjoy in addition to a top 3 lottery pick.
Eastern Conference Champs: Detroit Pistons
At the end of the year I believe that Shaq will start breaking down finally and enough to where the old Heat will struggle in the playoffs and get knocked off by a different squad. If Lebron had any sort of support on his side then the Cavs would be the choice however I'm going to go back with the Detroit Pistons and think they will emerge as the Eastern Conference Champs.
Western Conference Champs: Dallas Mavericks
I truly believe the Mavericks will repeat as the Western Conference Champs especially if they can establish homecourt throughout the playoffs. The Mavs don't have to deal with a huge post overpowering post threat like Shaq or a superstar freak 2/3 in Lebron or Wade in the West Coast. In addition the Mavs have two guys in Harris and Howard who are very good and very underrated. The Mavs will most likely again square off against either the Suns or the Spurs and they should be able to beat either.
World Champs: Dallas Mavericks
Somehow someway Mark Cuban get the Ring he truly desires. The Mavericks have too many skilled players for the Pistons to deal with, and Dirk has established himself as one of the most difficult players in the NBA to guard.
NBA Season Awards
Coach of the Year: Scott Skiles, I believe the Bulls will have a very good season and while the remainder of the coaches have larger expectations Skiles by gelling the youth and outside play with the addition of Big Ben down low, will garner this award at the seasons conclusion.
Rookie of the Year: Brandon Roy, Come on this is an easy one, he was the most NBA ready coming into the draft and he is on a team that will feed him the ball non stop due to the fact that they suck.
Sixth Man of the Year: Shaun Livingston, I think he has his breakout year if he can stay healthy for the Clippers. He's got too much quickness and ability for a guy of his height to be guardable.
Defensive Player of the Year: Gerald Wallace, Sometimes when you have a huge season and its your first time you go unnoticed. Well Wallace last season averaged terrific numbers in both blocks and steals, and after one year under the radar he will be hyped up enough to get the postseason award love.
Most Improved Player of the Year: Chris Wilcox, Ya this one is impossible to pick. Wilcox showed flashes last year with the Sonics of being dominant, if he can maintain this for a full season than he could be a prime candidate for this award.
Most Valuable Player: Lebron James, No one does more for his team then Lebron, he is the most complete player in the NBA already and his teammates are not very good.
Extra Seasonal Notes
~Thanks Red for all you have done for the NBA.
~The NBA season is just too long, something needs to be shortened, personally I think the increasing of the first series to 7 games was a travesty.
~I love how the Knicks are just taking Cap hits now and cutting some of the overpriced players they have perviously acquired. As if Larry Brown wouldn't have loved to just cut Mo Taylor last season.
Monday, October 30, 2006
Cal moves in Clemson moves out and the three top SEC schools move up ahead of the Trojan man. Other than that a relatively uneventful college football weekend as the countdown to the battle of 1 and 2 ticks closer.
1. Ohio State Buckeyes - Cruise Control. You think there is any chance that either of their next two games are remotely competetive, ya didn't think so.Quality Wins: Penn St., @Texas, @Iowa
2. Michigan Wolverines - Really same with Michigan after handling every team on their schedule, and dominating everyone with their D Michigan simply needs to stay healthy and get Manningham healthy to put up their best fight in the Horseshoe.Quality Wins: Wisconsin, @ND, @Penn St., Iowa
3. Florida Gators - Florida is the third best team in the country. And clearly has the best path of all 1 loss teams to the National Title game. The SEC is the best conference this season, and the Gators are the cream of the crop. The Cocktail Party is always a difficult game to win and the Gators were able to pull it out. Now all thats in their way to the SEC Title game is Mr. Spurrier.Quality Wins: @Rocky Top, Alabama, LSU, UGA
4. Tennessee Volunteers - South Carolina always hangs in these games but eventually can't get it done. The Vols have back to backs against LSU and Arkansas to help further sort the power of the SEC. Quality Wins: Cal, @UGA, Alabama, @South Carolina
5. Auburn Tigers - Auburn keeps winning but their doing it so unimpressively. You should never place Quality Wins: LSU, @South Carolina, Florida Bad Loss: Arkansas
6. Southern Cal Trojans - What a terrible loss, but really the Trojans had it coming. I have to keep them ahead of Arkansas now do to how badly they mauled them in week 1, but does anyone think they are going to get through Oregon, Cal, ND, UCLA unscathed? I certainly don't.Quality Wins: Nebraska, @Arkansas, @Wash St. Bad Loss: Oregon St.
7. Arkansas Razorbacks: Arkansas is moving up as other teams are losing quality wins. When you look at this years most impressive wins, Arkansas at Auburn ranks up there with Mich @ND and OSU @Tex as the top dominant performances. Quality Wins: Alabama, @Auburn Bad Loss: USC
8. Boston College Eagles - Why are teams allowed to schedule Buffalo? Especially in the middle of the conference schedule, why not just chalk a win and have them take the week off. Quality Wins: @FSU, Clemson, VaTech Bad Loss: Chuck Amato Special
9. Texas Longhorns - I hate Texas Tech, you had to know that they were going to blow a 21 point lead. That team never surprises me with their miserable play against the Longhorns. You drop 31 in the 1st half then choke it away, give me a break. Quality Wins: Oklahoma, @Nebraska
10. California Golden Bears- Cal gets in due to the slide of Clemson last week and the fact the Wash St. looks like a legit football team. The Pac 10 seems like an underrated conference this season with some depth. Cal only has USC remaining on their sched who should test them.Quality Wins: @Wash St., Arizona St., Oregon Bad Loss: @Rocky Top
11. Notre Dame Fighting Irish- Well Notre Dame routed the Midshipmen in the 2nd half of the game. Its unfortunate that Navy is without their QB. Either way Notre Dame, plays poop flavored lolli-pops the rest of the way til USC.Quality Wins: Penn St., @GaTechBad Loss: Michigan
Dropped Out: Clemson after not showing up thursday night in Blacksburg
Bubble Teams: Rutgers, Louisville, Clemson, GaTech
Past Power Rankings: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
~Showdown between the Mountaineers and Cardinals this week will land one of the two in the Week 9 Power Rankings, until then I don't want to hear anything about WVU, since they haven't beaten a Varsity football team yet this season.
~With that being said, especially due to Rutgers being legit, if WVU was to run the table and beat Louisville, Rutgers, and Pitt I would be hard pressed to choose a one loss Florida team over them for the title game. Time will tell.
~Every week FSU and Miami play worse, its amazing how bad these teams are this season. Last in the ACC Mid Ocean for the Seminoles? Last?
~I don't understand why LSU is ranked so high, sure they have lost to two very good teams, but who have they beaten this season? La Lafayette? Let me see them win a big game before thinking they deserve anything sniffing close to the top 10.
~I know the ACC is down this year, but where's the love for BC they lost to NC St. on a 34 td pass with 5 seconds left, and really lost because their kicker missed an early XP and they couldnt get the 2 later in the game. How could you possibly vote Boise St. or LSU over them.
~South Carolina and Oregon St. should play every season in the annual Cock Beaver Shootout. ADs get that done.
Sunday, October 29, 2006
Hi you don't know me, and you probably never want to meet me, because currently I am a very angry and bitter Jet fan. Mostly because you douche bags decided to blow a call in the closing seconds of the game. Which after several different camera angles easily showed that you were in great position to make the correct call but decided to go in the opposite direction. So if you could just be so kind and travel to lower Connecticut so I can torture you for countless hours I'd be very apperciative.
Here's a few things that are on the Agenda:
Rubbing Coarse Sandpaper on your Nipples.
Pencil Sharpener to your small prick.
Taiser Shots to the Cajones.
Injection of insects into rectum.
Drilling out the eyeballs of the line judge and urinating in said vacated eye socket.
Plus more of course.
An Angry Jet Fan
Friday, October 27, 2006
Ugh, I really don't like this weeks spreads that much.
5. Cincinatti Bengals (-4 1/2) vs. Atlanta Falcons
In Ocho Cinco I trust. Probably a dumb move considering this could be a very close game, but I really think its about time that the Bengals go out and score an assload of points. It happened practically every week last year and hasn't happened at all this year. Ocho Cinco is going to score a td this week.
4. New England Patriots (-2 1/2) at Minnesota Vikings
The Patriots are a frontrunner for the Super Bowl this year. Let me repeat once again the Patriots are going to be a team to be reckonned with in January. On Monday night they'll go into the dome, wipe out the Vikings, and then people on sportscenter will proclaim that they played good but they could still use a big time wideout.
3. New York Jets (+1 1/2) at Cleveland Browns
I'm pretty surprised that the Jets are not favored in this game. Its not as if the Browns have done anything this season to deserve being favored in any game that doesn't involve a team from the San Francisco Bay Area. The Jets may not be the best team in the league but they have a much more reliable QB than do the Browns and they don't even need to blow them out.
2. Green Bay Packers (-3 1/2) vs. Arizona Cardinals
I really don't think the Packers are that bad of a team this season. The Cardinals on the other hand have a coach who has a few weeks away from being fired, no offensive line, an injured top wideout, and just lost to the Raiders last week by a lot.
1. New Orleans Saints (-2 1/2) vs. Baltimore Ravens
McNair is questionable and even if he isn't the Saints O is simply ten times better than the Ravens offense. And even though the Ravens are better on D it won't matter. Homefield for the Saints and the chance that they may be facing a team QBed by Kyle Boller is enough for me.
Kansas City (-5 1/2) vs. Seattle ... Avoid this as Huard may not play
Chicago (-16 1/2) vs. San Francisco ... Bounce back for Rex?
New York Giants (-9 1/2) vs. Tampa Bay ... Was going to take TB, changed my mind.
Oakland (+8 1/2) vs. Pittsburgh ... Bad Decision???
Houston (+3 1/2) at Tennessee ... Battle o' dog poo
Philadelphia (-6 1/2) vs. Jacksonville ... Jax have QB and Offense problems
St. Louis (+8 1/2) at San Diego ... Media overhyping A Whale's Vagina
Denver (-2 1/2) vs. Indianapolis ... Peyton no play well in Denver
Carolina (-4 1/2) vs. Dallas ... Romo's ribs in pain
Thursday, October 26, 2006
Ah, Gary and his wonderful mouth. The Yankees are apparently picking up his option with the idea of trading him, for who knows what. However, the great man that Gary is he's starting to go off and say his typical things that make no sense. Last year he reported that the Yankees were picking up his option, which was immediately followed by Brian Cashman coming out and saying that he said no such thing, and Gary whining like a little baby.
Well now that the Yankees have picked up his option he is back at his normal whining, apparently saying that he does not want to play one year in the Bronx and that he does not want to play first. And if he gets traded he's not going to be happy.
Shut Up Gary. You negotiated your contract, you put on the option year. Just because you are in the last year of a contract does not mean the team has to give you an extension. That's not how it works you signed a contract for so many years and you have to abide by it. Not only are you bitching over nothing, but you are decreasing your trade value with each breath and at the same time increasing the likelihood that the Yanks want to get rid of you.
Here we go Gary, you've made millions upon millions of dollars. You're coming off a season where you only played 2 months. You just got a 13 million dollar option picked up. And you're going to be 38 at the start of the 07 season. Did you ever remotely think that maybe just maybe you don't deserve an extension. Probably not because you are in fact Gary Sheffield.
5. Texas Longhorns vs. Texas Tech Red Raiders in Lubbock
Maybe its just wishful thinking to hope that this will be a good game. But hopefully the Leacher will put together some immaculate gameplan to put the Longhorns down, who are in a solid position to be the #1 one loss team, when they do not remotely deserve that standing. The Pick: Texas much to my dismay in a romp.
4. Clemson Tigers vs. Virginia Tech Hokies in Blacksburg
Amazing how the Hokies seemed to have been ranked earlier in the season on name value alone. Coming off a bye it will be interesting to see if Glennon and the O-Line have learned how to read blitz packages and know how to get the ball out early to avoid the sack. My guess is they probably didn't and after Clemson rolled to a victory over GaTech I just don't see VaTech bouncing back tonight. The Pick: Clemson by a 10ish.
3. Miami Hurricanes vs. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets in the ATL
The Hurricanes get back all of their players from suspension who will probably be looking for redemption. They are in the same situation where FSU was last week where if they lose they might as well just pack in the season. Last week I went with FSU, this week I'm going to go with Miami. I know this is a dumb decision considering they almost lost to Duke last week, but GaTech was stupid enough to not pass the ball to Calvin Johnson last week and this week I think Ball tries to force it too him when its not there. With as bad as Miami has been they still only have one conference loss. The Pick: Miami by a couple.
2. Georgia Bulldogs vs. Florida Gators at The Cocktail Party
Kind of a weak week for college football with only one rank vs. rank matchup and thats not even a good game. The Bulldogs and the Gators face off in their annual cocktail party, typically a good game. The problem, Georgia isn't any good this year. The Pick: Florida romps over the offensively deficient Bulldogs
1. Tennessee Volunteers vs. South Carolina GameCocks in Cockland
The Vols head into Cockland in another important SEC showdown. If the Vols lose this game they most likely can kiss their chance at the SEC Title away, as they would fall behind both the Cocks and Gators. But if I was a Vol fan I wouldn't be overly worried as they had their off week last week and will come in with all guns blazing against the Coks. The Pick: Tennessee has too much talent and is out for revenge.
Once upon a time every athletic semi tall black shooting guard that came into the NBA was the 'Next' Jordan, or a White small forward with a decent jump shot was just like Larry Bird when he was in college. We all have a tendency to compare young players to players of the past, usually comparing them to far superior players. This year the epidemic amongst the sports world is to compare these young QBs to a young Brett Favre.
At the beginning of the season when Rex Grossman was having success, all before he decided to attempt to set the turnover record against the Cards, Rex was just like a Young Brett Favre. In the Vikings game he was just like Brett, throwing an INT for a touchdown then leading a game winning drive. Rex Grossman has started less than a full season in his NFL, career and yet he's just like the best QB of the last decade.
Hell even JP Losman at times has been compared to a young Brett Favre. You're kidding me right? Is there no other big armed, slightly mobile, risk taking QB in the past that you can compare these kids to? JP Losman hasn't even accumulated a handful of good games yet, but because he throws the occasional touchdown, and even more so the occasional INT he is a shoein for the Brett Favre comparison. How about instead of comparing him to a QB of the past you analyze him as is, JP has a strong arm, but lacks excellent decisioning as well as defense reading the skills which leads him to throw balls in spots that should not be thrown, allowing for the occasional 'threading the needle' when he gets lucky and the defense can't get to the ball as well as for the 2 or 3 INTs a game when the defense is there.
And now the newest addition to the just like Brett Favre club is Tony Romo, whom this guy says is reminiscent of a young Brett Favre. Just friggin shoot me, we have seen Tony Romo play one single game in which he threw three INTs and now lets just compare him to Brett Favre because he threw INTs and TDs. So simply because Tony Romo likes to run around a bunch, throw the ball hard, and occasionally doesn't notice he's passing it directly into the chest of someone not where Cowboy Blue & Silver he's Brett Favre. Give me a break, I think I'm going to vomit.
Whenever they put the comparison to the young Favre they make it seem as if Favre was an INT machine when he was in his NFL infancy when in fact, he really had only one bad season in 1993. The remainder of his seasons from 92-97 he threw less than one INT a game, and thats pretty friggin good. So next time when you morons are trying to compare a QB who just threw an INT to a young Brett Favre please think twice.
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
So I find Halloween to be one of the most frustrating events as am only mildly creative and lack great ideas as to what to dress up as. However, I was excellent as a kid of recycling old costumes into a new one, for instance I would simply change weapons or wear a crown to be the king of the dead instead of a zombie you get the idea. Well this year I had a few decent ideas, none of which really worked for a redhead who currently has a brillo pad on his head. My ideas being Token Black from South Park, or Clayton Bigbsby the Black White Supremacist. Sure either would have been funny, but too much effort for me to try to look like a bald old black man. So what did I settle on? Glass Joe from Mike Tyson's Punch Out, why well cause it's easy, and he's a red head with too much hair. So simply I need to get Red Boxing gloves, and then I'll write Glass Joe on a torn up sweatshirt. Mildly humurous if anyone gets it.
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
Week 7 Awards
Wow You Guys Suck: Jacksonville Jaguars, If you plan on being a playoff team you have to win the games you are supposed to win. Right now you are the most inconsistant team in the NFL, and thats not gonna let you play in January.Runners Up: Washington can say nighty night to the playoffs, Arizona is done.
Cough Cough Cough: Marty Schottenheimer, I don't remember the exact number but the Chargers are something like 0-12 in their last 12 games decided by 4 points or less, which means he's a miserable coach down the stretch, sure it was a nice comeback but eventually you need to win these games.Runners Up: Tony Romo way to make your coach look good, TO nice catch on 4th down buddy.
This Scaircrow Needs a Brain: Bill Parcells, So you got ancy and decided to put in Romo which completely back fired, now you have a major QB controversy and a bitch receiver.Runner Up: Marvin Lewis going for a 62 yard field goal instead of a hail mary, Edgerrin James how are you enjoying your time in Arizona at 1-6 running behind a swiss cheese O-Line.
The Shocker: Texans, How many people got burned by picking the Jaguars over the Texans, I'm going to estimate about 80% of the people that were left if not more. I know that every single person in our league that was left is now out thanks to the Jags.Runners Up: Bucs without an offense winning back to back games against the Bengals and Eagles, the Vikings were obviously helped out by knocking Hasselbeck out of the game but they still gave the Seahawks a whooping at Quest.
The Pimp: Matt Bryant, Jebus everyweek a kicker comes up huge, but no bigger than Matt Bryant knocking down a 62 yarder which all Giant, Cowboy, and NFC Wild Card potential teams absolutely loved. Runners Up: Mike Vick got ticked off and decided to throw an assload of TDs to put the Steelers in a terrible situation, Peyton Manning casually threw for 342 and a bunch of TDs.
You Got JAKKED UP: Three Day Old Cheeseburger, Missed the JAKKED Up segment last night, but Big Ben ducked into a spear and his brain went to jello.
My Fantasy MVP: Willie Parker, I lost by a handful, and granted if I had played Cooley I would have won, but Willie put up a whopping 0 points, which is unheard of from a starting running back especially when your team puts up 38 points. Ugh, not good Willie.
New York Jets MVP: Leon Washington, Alright when the Jets drafted Leon Washington this past offseason, I thought to myself I wonder how he's gonna contribute, probably just a 3rd down change of pace back but here's what I slowly began to notice. The dude is Warrick Dunn, another former FSU alumn. He's undersized yet strong, lightning quick, and with very good juke moves. Sure same with Dunn, you're going to want someone to smash into the line to pick up the tough yard. Here's hoping he has a similar career, he's certainly off to a good start.
My Picks: 6-7
Preseason Picks: 6-7
Picks Vs. Spread: 9-4
Ha, how often does one do better picking against the spread then picking the actual winner of the game. Carolina beat the spread but lost. I chose Minnesota, Houston, and Tampa to beat the spread but chose them to lose. And then I chose the Redskins to beat the spread but lose, so got that one wrong.
Week 7 Extra Quick Notes
~Hines Ward and Brian Westbrook had absolutely huge days in losses, that has to blow.
~One ridiculous thing missing in fantasy is what I would like to call the Drew Bledsoe rule, although Tony Romo is obviously a quick study. When a QB throws an INT that is returned for a touchdown they should receive -6 points instead of the traditional -2. Sunday Donovan McNabb accounted for 2/3 of the Buccaneers points, yet he put up a ludicrous amount of fantasy points due to his 3 td passes. You should be heavily penalized for scoring points for the other team.
~How hilarious was it when TO dropped the 4th down pass when he was wide, wide, wide open, man I was cracking up. He talks so much crap and on an incredibly important play he drops an easy ball.
~Speaking of Schottenheimers, Brian, Marty's son, has done a phenomenal job as the Jets offensive coordinator thus far this season. He has used players in a variety of ways and has really done a good job of establishing Leon Washington as the teams go to back as well as utilizing all that Brad Smith can do as a player. So far this season, Smith has done end arounds, taking hand offs, ran the option, played receiver, gone in motion and ran a QB sneak. Every time he comes into the game he causes the oppositions defense to make adjustments. Needless to say I'm very pleased thus far with Brian, quite possibly more than even Mangini.
~With that being said the Lions defense is terrible.
~The Broncos are making a solid case as the best team in the NFL, sure their offense isn't explosive right now, but their D gives up no points and the TD they gave up against the Browns was directly due to the Snake throwing and INT and setting up the Browns in the red zone.
~No Hasselbeck maybe no Alexander for awhile equals an very antsy Seahawk fan.
~Giant fans have to be happy this weekend with the way their team is playing the fact that the Redskins are done, and the Cowboys created a QB controversy for themselves, and that they are 3-0 in the division. All in all a good weekend for football in NYC / Jersey.
~Where did you go Bengals offense?
Monday, October 23, 2006
It's getting to the point of the season where the teams in the Power Rankings need to have atleast two quality wins to get into the poll. For this reason Cal and Louisville fell out after the Texas, Clemson and BC wins.
1. Ohio State Buckeyes - The Buckeyes no longer have anything standing between them and the showdown in the Horshoe on November 18th, they are the best team in the country right now and I don't think you can put up a legit argument for anyone else.Quality Wins: Penn St., @Texas, @Iowa
2. Michigan Wolverines - To not vote for Michigan as the #2 team in the country is mind boggling to me. First, everyone loves ND even though they aren't great and Michigan slugged them. Than everyone loved Iowa to start the season and Michigan completely shut down their offense. Plus, Wisconsin is the 3rd best team in the Big 10 and the Wolverines beat them easily. Quality Wins: Wisconsin, @ND, @Penn St., Iowa
3. Southern Cal Trojans - That win over Nebraska would have looked better had the Cornhuskers not fallen on their face in the last minutes of their game against Texas. USC didn't play this week and deserved to be at 3. Quality Wins: Nebraska, @Arkansas
4. Florida Gators - Bye week no reason for them to move anywhere.Quality Wins: @Rocky Top, Alabama, LSU
5. Tennessee Volunteers - The win against Alabama was a close one but it still is a quality win which solidifies their spot in the rankings just not enough to move ahead of the Gators. Quality Wins: Cal, @UGA, Alabama
6. Auburn Tigers - Tulane means nothing, thus I'm not going to move them up, even though the Arkansas loss is looking less like a terrible loss. Quality Wins: LSU, @South Carolina, Florida Bad Loss: Arkansas
7. Arkansas Razorbacks: Arkansas is moving up as other teams are losing quality wins. When you look at this years most impressive wins, Arkansas at Auburn ranks up there with Mich @ND and OSU @Tex as the top dominant performances. Quality Wins: Alabama, @Auburn Bad Loss: USC
8. Boston College Eagles - In name value BC's wins are huge, the question really lies on whether or not you believe FSU and VaTech are any good this year and most signs point to no. Either way Clemson is good and even though their win came due to a missed XP, its a win nonetheless.Quality Wins: @FSU, Clemson, VaTech Bad Loss: Chuck Amato Special
9. Texas Longhorns - Oklahoma's stock is going to move down once they start losing without APeete, but the win in Lincoln was a solid job especially considering the ineptitude of their kicker. Two quality wins help Texas land in the Power Rankings for the first time. Quality Wins: Oklahoma, @Nebraska
10. Clemson Tigers- They laid an absolute whooping on the Yellow Jackets and held Calvin Johnson, aka the best wideout in college football, to zero, nunca, nada, cero catches. But please don't wear those hideous purple uniforms anymore, they made me gag.Quality Wins: @FSU, @GaTech
11. Notre Dame Fighting Irish- Why must Notre Dame continuously pull out these victories down the stretch it is very annoying. Very annoying. Quality Wins: Penn St., @GaTechBad Loss: Michigan
Dropped Out: GaTech after they're beat down in Death Valley, Cal partially because the Oregon loss is diminished and its their only big win thus far, Louisville falls out as their wins versus K St. and Miami are less impressive by the second
Bubble Teams: Rutgers, Louisville, Cal
Past Power Rankings: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
~West Virginia finally will play big games in the upcoming weeks. They have 5 games left in their season, the next being the biggest against Louisville if they win that then they will jump Louisville into the power rankings, then following they play Pitt as well as Rutgers. With the way Rutgers is playing if the WVU runs the table, I think they have a legit argument over a one loss team, but for now they haven't beaten anyone and stay off the list.
~Wisconsin is going to run the table down the stretch in the Big 10 go 11-1 with their only loss coming to Michigan and they're going to end up in the Capital One bowl or something similar. Ouch.
~How about Rutgers laying a beatdown on Pitt. Who knew this could ever be a good team, imagine if they ran the table and beat Louisville and WVU, they would get no love and really have no chance for the title game, yet think about it, wouldn't you be more impressed with a team that went undefeated and beat the Cards and Mountaineers than a team that went undefeated and beat Rutgers and Lousiville?
~Alright FSU how are you going to get beat down again at home, what is wrong with you, did Florida all of a sudden stop having the best athletes in the Nation. In addition what in the world are these horrendous black jerseys and why in the world do they say Unconquered on the side. Is that not completely ridiculous. Maybe more teams should write phrases on their unis like Duke could write Terrible on their leg.
~Think the ACC thought when they grabbed BC, Miami and Tech that the 2nd year it would be unquestioned that BC was the best of the three. I doubt it.
~The ESPN game last night (CIncy USF) had a score of 2-0 at halftime, thats miserable.
~At one point in time saturday, ND, Tenn, and Cal were all losing, yet all won. Ugh.
~Northwestern should be very proud of setting records for futility, its been part of their heritage for so long, its nice that they kept up the tradition. And is their any surprise that it was John L. Smith's team to come back, MSU is they weirdest team in college football. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if they did anything in a game, from beating a top team to losing to Duke by 30. Nothing would surprise me.
~Here's interesting little toy where you can play with one of the Computer Rankings the BCS uses.
~Houston busts his Nutt to Mitch Mustain.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Or Maybe not so epic. Considering I only picked something right when I picked the Cardinals because of the powers of So Taguchi.
Battle of Positions
First Base: Albert Pujols vs. Sean Casey (maybe) - We all no Pujols is better than any first baseman in baseball no need to debate. Advantage: Cards
Second Base: Ronny Belliard vs. Placido Polanco - Ronny is a fat fat baseball player, did anyone other than me think it was slightly pathetic that he didn't even come close to beating out that bunt. Anybody? Advantage: Tiggers
Third Base: Scott Rolen vs. Brandon Inge - I expect Scott Rolen to turnaround and have a big series this week. He's been a terrific player his whol year and really hasn't had much success in the playoffs. Inge is a great fielder, and a good role player for the Tigers but he's not better than Rolen. Advantage: Cards
Shortstop: David Eckstein vs. Carlos Guillen - David Eckstein is a pain in the ass that seamingly gets it done all the time. But Guillen has much more upside as a hitter. Advantage: Tiggers
Catcher: Yadier Molina vs. Ivan Rodriguez - Very similar defensive catchers, but on the opposite side of the spectrum when it comes to offense this season. And yet Molina has been a huge part of the Cards success with his hitting. All in all you have to favor Pudge in this matchup though. Advantage: Tiggers
Left Field: Preston Wilson vs. Craig Monroe - Craig Monroe has been a beast this offseason while Preston Wilson likes to swing and miss a lot. Advantage: Tiggers
Center Field: Jim Edmonds vs. Curtis Granderson - Jim Edmonds all around is a better player than Granderson, however, Jim Edmonds has every injury in the book while Granderson is healthy. Advantage: Tiggers
Right Field: Juan Encarnaccion vs. Magglio Ordonez - Simple Magglio and his curly locks. Advantage: Tiggers
Designated Hitter: Scott Spiezio vs. Marcus Thames - Not a big fan of the River Thames and Spiezio is a clutch hitter. Advantage: Cards
Game 1 Starter: Dreamweaver vs. Justin Verlander - In talent Verlander wins hands down, but Dreamweaver is on a roll and could easily pitch another 6 innings and give up 2 runs. However, the Cards haven't seen anything like Verlander this postseason. Advantage: Tiggers
Game 2 Starter: Chris Carpenter (3 Days Rest) vs. Kenny Rogers - This was a smart move by Leyland pitching Rogers at home in both game 2 and game 6. I honestly think he stays lights out, who knows how or why but this will be a pitchers dual and I think Rogers somehow wins out. Advantage: Tiggers
Game 3 Starter: Jeff Suppan vs. Nate Robertson - Nate has been very good but Suppan has been the MVP of the playoffs so far and he will be at the new Busch. Advantage: Cards
Game 4 Starter: Anthony Reyes vs. Jeremy Bonderman - Ha, tough one. Advantage: Tiggers
Bullpen - The Tigers have the edge hands down with Zumaya and Rodney and Jones. I love Wainwright's stuff but you have to go with the Tigers dominant 3. Advantage: Tiggers
The Tigers win the head to head matchup 10-4 and thus logic Says Tigers in 5.
Now for the...
1. Yankees, Twins, Mets, Padres all huge favorites all lost. Cards 1 Tigers 0
2. Pitchers who have been great, Oliver Perez, John Maine, Kenny Rogers, Jeff Weaver, all guys you think will get crushed so whose inline, Anthony Reyes of course. Cards 2 Tigers 0
3. Rams are 4-2 Lions are 1-5 meaning all of the good fortune the Lions aren't getting is shifted to the Tigers. Cards 2 Tigers 1
4. Joe Buck grew up a Cardinals fan and worked for them. Cards 2 Tigers 2
5. The Cards play in one of the American homes of Beer. Cards 3 Tigers 2
6. Cardinals can fly Tigers can not. Cards 4 Tigers 2
7. If the radar gun in Detroit is correct Joel Zumaya can throw a ball to the moon. Cards 4 Tigers 3
8. Celebrity fans Eminem vs. I have no friggin idea whose a Cardinal fan. Cards 4 Tigers 4
9. The Tigers have a girl giving herself up on ebay for tickets to the Tigers home games. Slut. Cards 4 Tigers 5
10. I have red hair the Cardinals wear Red jerseys. Cards 5 Tigers 5
11. The clincher the Cardinals are Soooo Taguchi. Cards 6 Tigers 5
Illogic says Cards in 7.
Now random deciding...
Heads - Cardinals
Tails - Tigers
The apparatus - 1999 Connecticut "Big Tree" Quarter
And the battle begins:
Coin Toss Numero Uno: Cards take game 1, with a high spinner into the right hand flipped onto the top of the left.
Coin Toss Numero Dos: Tigers take game 2, with a low toss onto the floor.
Coin Toss Numero Tres: Cardinals take game 3, with the spinning top that stops on heads.
Coin Toss Numero Cuatro: Tigers take game 4, with the two handed dice roll.
Coin Toss Numero Cinco: Tigers take game 5, with the throw the quarter of the cubical wall.
Coin Toss Numero Seis: Cardinals take game 6, with the throw up with the notebook and catch.
Coin Toss Numero Siete: Cardinals take game 7, with the throw into the coffee cup and check.
There it is 2 to 1 in the favor of Cards, both decidedly in game 7, what a classic.
5. Washington Redskins (+9 1/2) at Indianapolis Colts
This is now the Redskins season its all or nothing this game, they lose and they might as well pack it up cause they aren't about to go 8-1 down the stretch. That is why I don't foresee this game being a blowout. In addition the Colts still have no idea how to stop the run, giving Portis ample opportunities to succeed, and also the Colts have failed to crush both the Jets and the Titans this season, why would you believe they are going to crunch the Skins.
4. New York Giants (+3 1/2) at Dallas Cowboys
I believe the Giants are the better team all around. Tiki will be motivated to run around the Cowboys defense and best of all you are getting a field goal to protect against a last second win by the Cowboys.
3. San Diego Chargers (-5 1/2) at Kansas City Chiefs
Normally I wouldn't pick against the Chiefs playing at home as usually they are very dangerous in Arrowhead but lets face it they are still starting Damon Huard and he's not good. LJ is a little banged up and the Chargers are arguably the best team in the NFL.
2. New England Patriots (-5 1/2) at Buffalo Bills
I got this wrong the first week of the season when I put my stock in Tom Brady against the Bills but this time will be different and the Pats will cover the spread. I don't think asking for a touchdown victory over a bad Bills team is too much to ask.
1. Green Bay Packers (+4 1/2) at Miami Dolphins
Ok someone please explain to me how/why the Dolphins who are a 1-5 team and have only beaten the Titans by 3 points are favored by more than a field goal in any game. It really makes no logical sense. Throw in the fact that the Dolphins are starting Joey Harrington at QB (as am I in fantasy, bye week, ugh) and the Packers getting Ahman Green back this week and this is an easy pick.
Houston (+9 1/2) vs. Jacksonville ... Texans usually play Jax well
Carolina (+3 1/2) at Cincy ... 4-0 with Smith and getting 3 1/2
NYJ (-3 1/2) vs. Detroit ... Avoid this game like the plague, Jet Homer Selection
Tampa Bay (+5 1/2) vs. Philadelphia ... Bucs playing well with Grad lose by FG
Pittsburgh (-1 1/2) at Atlanta ... Vick gets smothered
Denver (-5 1/2) at Cleveland .. Eventually the Broncos will score some points
Arizona (-3 1/2) at Oakland ... Bad feeling about this, but Raiders still w/Walter
Minny (-6 1/2) at Seattle .. Apparently I actually picked the Vikings
Last night proved for the final time that people really have no idea what they are talking about. If you watched the TV or looked at online polls or listended to the radio you would have thought that the Mets would win in a landslide, but surprise it didn't happen.
The Cards Pitching
Remember when the Cards came into the playoffs and everyone said they weren't going to win due to their pitching. Well Suppan threw two Gems and Wainwright has filthy stuff coming out in the ninth. His curveball has so much break on it, it should be illegal.
Second Guessing of the Big Willie
Some peopel are going to come out today and second guess to of Willie's decisions. 1st to leave in Heilman in the 9th in a tie ball game. Honestly I have no problem with this, Aaron has been the setup man the whole year he rolled through the 8th and was facing the bottom of the lineup if you get through there than in the 10th you have Wagner to throw to the heart of the order and the last thing you could possibly expect is for Yadier ".210" Molina to hit a 2-run homer. He rolled the dice that Heilman would get through the 9th and it failed, but I would have done the same thing especially with Wagner struggling so far this series and Super So lingering on the bench.
Secondly the pinch hitting of Cliff Floyd with no outs and 2 on in the ninth. Here were Willie's options either bunt or hit. Willie obviously decided he wanted to hit in that spot and that left him with only Cliff Floyd to go to due to their bench being so porous. Honestly, no one was hitting that curve ball he struck out on, and I personally thought the biggest worry the Mets could have had was a double play. Sure you could say they should have bunted but there is no guarantee that the bunt gets laid down properly, I don't think it was a no brainer that Willie messed up on.
It's unfotunate that the Mets didn't win only because the catch Endy Chavez made is one of the greatest catches in postseason history. And it will slowly be forgotten due to their loss.
Thursday, October 19, 2006
After the mighty powers of So Taguchi last night I decided it was about time I learned more about the man the myth the legend. And the first place to explore, why his very own website of course. Translated courtesy of Google Translate which is blatantly in Beta. And here are some wonderful stories for you to enjoy, dude is 37. Did you have any idea he was 37, I think he was late 20s at the most, damn he's old. The Japanese pronunciation of the Mississippi River is Mishishitsupi which I could imagine being hilarious when said but and Authentic Japanese man. And of course the glorious art displayed on the right. But finally his Mail from So section which makes little to no sense when translated but is pretty humurous. Here is a classic segment:
If with say, it does not win finally, the meaning releasing. When tomorrow, it wins, because of the world series to Detroit. When it is defeated, with season off thrust to St. Louis. The american intersection ultra quiz they are the straw raincoat choices.
There is no air which of course for a while returns to St. Louis.
Carry on My Wayward So There'll be peace when you are done.
Well since I've been so miserable at deciding who was going to win any playoff series I might as well use complete irrational logic in selecting who is going to win the game tonight.
1. Every State in the US basically thinks the Mets are going to win, therefore logic says the Cardinals are going to win. Cards 1 Mets 0
2. Tony LaRussa used Braden Looper last night and therefore will steer clear of him tonight. Cards 2 Mets 0
3. This playoffs was originally hyped up as a possible Subway Series match up, now it can be hyped up as two teams that backed into the playoffs. Cards 3 Mets 0
4. The Mets are starting Oliver Perez while the Cards are starting Suppan who was lights out last game. Aka he's going to get rocked this game. Cards 3 Mets 1
5. Tony LaRussa pulled out Carpenter last night before he reached the 80 pitch mark, pinch hit Duncan who grounded into a double play and then put in Looper who gave up 2 more runs, his genius is shrinking. Cards 3 Mets 2
6. Cards have one player with a stupid red dyed racing stripe on his face the Mets do not. Cards 4 Mets 2
7. The Cardinals middle infield consists of a certified midget and a fat guy. Cards 5 Mets 2
8. Willie Randolph has this whole I have no idea what I'm doing but everything is working out look on his face. Cards 5 Mets 3
9. The power and might of So Taguchi. Cards 6 Mets 3
10. Shea stadium is such a dump I think you could urinate in the stands and it would be considered sanitary. Cards 6 Mets 4
11. Billy Wagner has transformed himself into a combination of BK Kim and Rick Vaughn. Cards 7 Mets 4
There you go fokes final score Cards 7 Mets 4. So get your wallets out head to Vegas and put a grand down on the Mets.
5. Rutgers Scarlet Knights vs. Pitt Panthers in Ketchup Stadium
Back to back big matches for Rutgers, who knew. Pitt has only lost one game when they blew a lead to Michigan St. prior to MSU's annual meltdown. While Navy isn't a powerhouse team they are a decent team that will make a bowl this season and Rutgers ran them out of their own stadium. They honestly right now do deserve to be ranked and this week will determine whether they are actual Big East contenders. The Pick: Rutgers by a couple.
4. Texas Longhorns vs. Nebraska Cornhuskers in Lincoln
One of two ranked on ranked matchups this weekend, however I don't see how anybody is overly excited about Big 12 football it really is the least exciting conference this season. Texas is full of athletes but no big names this season and the rest of the teams flat out aren't that good. Atleast the Big East has Steve Slaton and Pat White. The Longhorns are so above and beyond the talent of everyone in the Big 12 at this point in time that truly any game they don't win by double digits should be considered a loss. The Pick: The Longhorns by plenty.
3. Boston College Eagles vs. Florida St. Seminoles in Tallahassee
FSU needs to battle for some pride. I mean how down could FSU and Miami possibly get with the abundance of athletes that go there every year. BC has played well all season but they really never win in Florida. If FSU loses it might be time for Bobby to venture toward the sunset, and while he's at it he can take Joe Pa with him.The Pick: FSU by a few, they desperately need to show the program isn't in the shitter.
2. Iowa Hawkeyes vs. Michigan Wolverines in The Big House
Here's a few things I do not like about this game. 1) #2 ranked teams in the AP are 3-4 this season and Michigan has just taken over that spot in the poll. 2) The Hawkeyes played like garbage last week and lost to a bad team and are probably due for a bounce back. 3) Who knows if Manninghma plays. Things I do like, the Hawkeyes are the most overrated program in the country. They are the Big 10s equivalent of Georgia, a team every ranks high in the preseason who is guaranteed to lose big games as well as a stunning upset game.The Pick: Michigan holds the fort at home and knocks of the Hawkeyes
1. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets vs. Clemson Tigers in Death Valley
Could be a preview of the ACC title game, which would be a shocker. Clemson has looked good this season and really should be undefeated if they could recruit a kicker. GaTech has Calvin Johnson and he needs to perform for the Jackets to be in this game and to take it home. The Pick: Clemson cause they're at home and Reggie Ball is do for a bad turnover machine game
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
This goes to the one and only president of University of Miami, Donna E. Shalala, for her hideous display of leadership this week. After laying down brutal penalties of one game, against Duke nonetheless, to every one except the the medieval warrior swinging around his helmet, Donna held a press conference where she admitted that she had not watched the film because it would have upset her. That is the most pathetic excuse of leadership I have ever heard, she said that she was there so she doesn't need to watch the tape. You have got to be kidding me, how in the world did you become the president of a major university, how did the chairman possibly choose you during their interview process. You have it on film, to analyze and see exactly what happened and you chose not to.
If I was a member of the board at Miami, I would want the head of the AD, Coker and probably Donna. Coker isn't getting the results he needs and he has obviously has lost control of the team.
That's your senior captain, that's great. What a leader, running around spiking people in the chest and legs as they're on the ground. If he maintains his Captaincy and receives only the one game he is currently suspended for that is high end thievary.
High School Similarity
In High School my junior season, our best hitter Jamie Schilkowski, who was batting somewhere above the .400 line, struck out to end the game against a very good Notre Dame West Haven team. Almost immediately after swinging and missing he pivoted his back foot turn and threw the bat towards our dugout, yes our dugout. The bat proceeded to hit the head of the on deck hitter, who luckily was wearing a helmet, else he would have lost major brain cells. When confronted he said that he lost the bat on the backswing, which was a complete joke. So what harsh penalty did our coach give our best hitter, a whopping 3 innings against Derby nonetheless. Yes not even a full game and Derby was playing their whole JV squad cause their coach was a rambling idiot. Basically Derby was the equivalent of the Duke squad Miami is being suspended against this week. Pathetic.
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
Week 6 Awards
Wow You Guys Suck: Washington Redskins, So I guess you guys went out and got all those big time free agents so you could lose to bad teams like the Titans, was that what you had in mind Daniel, or were you too busy making movie deals with Tom Cruise? Runners Up: Kansas City and the Hermanator decided to get mauled in Pitt, Houston can't stop anybody from scoring.
Cough Cough Cough: Arizona Cardinals, Sure no one thought they were going to win but when your defense does not allow a touchdown, forces 6 turnovers and your team holds two different 20 point leads and somehow you manage to lose that is one of the biggest collapses ever. To top that off missing a 40 yard kick to put the nail in the coffin, jeez, I bet they all feel fantastic.Runners Up: Neil Rackers has got to make a 40 yard kick in a dome at the end of a game, Falcons Offensive line let the Giants beat down Vick all day.
This Scaircrow Needs a Brain: Nick Saban, Who left a timeout in his pocket down the stretch against a Jets defense who couldn't remotely stop the Dolphins offense in the 4th and than decided to settle for a 52 yard field goal, dumb ass. Runner Up: Marvin Lewis going for a 62 yard field goal instead of a hail mary, Rex Grossman didn't know what color jersey his team was wearing yesterday.
The Shocker: Titans, Who saw them beating the Redskins, I know the Redskisn aren't really good but they did annihalate the two bad teams they played previously. Travis Henry is having a good week after good week.Runners Up: Bucs with a QB no one ever heard of taking it to the Bengals, Bears not cause the won but because when I woke up and found out they won I was pretty shocked,
The Pimp: Josh Brown, I know I bring up kickers too much for the pimp of the week but the dude made two 49 yard kicks and a 54 yarder in the closing seconds to catapault Seattle back into the dominant lead of the NFC West. Runners Up: Tory Holt had 3 tds and pretty much carried the Rams on his back into a position to win, Drew Brees who made stellar passes throughout the game and then put the Saints in position for a 30 yarder all while giving Donovan no time for a come back.
You Got JAKKED UP: D'Angelo Hall, Who knew Plaxico Burress could lay a solid hit, but he did on one of the INTs Eli threw the first half.
My Fantasy MVP: LT & TH, I was batterred and bruised by two huge stars that had a combined 7 tds to knock me off even though I had a pretty good week myself.
New York Jets MVP: Laveraneus, Two big time catches for two tds to help give enough cushion to a defense that decided they wanted to make Joey Harrington look like Dan Marino in the 4th quarter.
My Picks: 10-3
Preseason Picks: 5-8
Picks Vs. Spread: 7-6
Once again slipping to slightly above .500 in the Spread picks and doing well in the normal picks and the randomness of picking every game before the season started continues.
Week 6 Extra Quick Notes
~Congrats to the Lions, Titans and Bucs for getting off the Raiders path of glory.
~Philip Rivers is good and the Chargers are a team I wouldn't want to run into early in the playoffs.
~On Antonio Pierce's hit on Vick at the end of the 4th Vick's foot hadn't even landed out of bounds yet, so it wasn't a late hit and if Vick was pissed he should have been pissed at himself for allowing himself to get leveled.
~Roughing the QBs and Roughing the kickers are getting ridiculous, last night the Cards kicker was touched and got a roughing call and in the Bucs game Gradkowski was sacked, simply sacked and they called a roughing the QB penalty, worst call I have ever seen. Sooner or later kickers and QBs are going to be forced to wear a school girls uniform.
~There was no reason for the Jets to make me sweat this past weekend. Also, I would like everyone in New York to calm down with the expectations. Listening on the radio yesterday they were saying the Jets should go 10-6 due to their easy schedule, how about we take it a week at a time and just be happy that we're 3-3.
~Matt Leinart is easily the most ready rookie QB I have ever seen, whether he improves massively or not in the future will be seen. But Leinart has spent 3 seasons in the biggest games college football could provide and a National Title game is bigger than any regular season NFL game.
Monday, October 16, 2006
1. Ohio State Buckeyes - The Buckeyes put a whipping on Michigan State fully entrenching the Spartans as a horrible team whose coach should be fired at the end of the season. While some may question Penn St. as a quality win, the Nittany Lions are 4-0 this season against teams not ranked in the top 5. So they're not that bad. The Buckeyes will roll to the battle with the Wolverines as they don't even have the Badgers of Wisconsin on their Big 10 schedule this season. Quality Wins: Penn St., @Texas, @Iowa
2. Michigan Wolverines - A victory in Happy Valley without your most dynamic offensive weapon further proves the Wolverines are for real this season, now they go up against their last test of the season before the Buckeyes at home versus a realing Iowa Hawkeye squad. Who knew that the battle in the Horshoe come November could be as big as the National Championship game. In addition I firmly believe that when the Big 10 is wrapped up Wisconsin will be the #3 team in the conference.Quality Wins: Wisconsin, @ND
3. Southern Cal Trojans - The Trojans keep on winning but they look less impressive every week. Arizona St. has now established themselves as the Michigan St. of the west. Quality Wins: Nebraska, @Arkansas
4. Florida Gators - Arranging these 3 SEC teams in any order is a very difficult task, but I still narrowly place Florida ahead of both Tennessee and Auburn. The Auburn score is skewed due to the last second fumble for a TD and the win in Rocky Top is the best win of any of the clubs. Quality Wins: @Rocky Top, Alabama, LSU
5. Tennessee Volunteers - Tennessee moves down in the rankings not due to their bye but due to Georgia's loss at home to Vandy. While I still love the beatdown they gave to Georgia and even more the beatdown to Cal, you can't disregard that one of the wins that you see as big came against a team that also lost to Vandy. Quality Wins: Cal, @UGA
6. Auburn Tigers - What a bounce back win for the Tigers of Auburn. They are behind the Vols and Gators due to what I still perceive as a bad loss at home against Arkansas. You can't say anything bad about UT's loss or the Gators loss in Auburn, but to get smoked by Arkansas at home is not acceptable. Still they have 3 very very good SEC wins. Quality Wins: LSU, @South Carolina, Florida Bad Loss: Arkansas
7. Louisville Cardinals - Alright Miami is not good, I dropped Louisville down a few spots because I don't believe in the U any more and K State lost to Baylor and the Nebraska.Quality Wins: @K State, Miami
8. Arkansas Razorbacks: Razorbacks scheduled a nice cupcake in the middle of their SEC schedule, that was a bright idea. Arkansas still has clashes with LSU and UT to prove whether or not they are for real. Quality Wins: Alabama, @Auburn Bad Loss: USC
9. California Golden Bears - Cal is crunching teams now and easily look the most impressive of any Pac 10 team from week to week if only you could erase the Rocky Top victory from your memory. Without that Cal's pushing towards the top.Quality Wins: Oregon Bad Loss: Rocky Top
10. Notre Dame Fighting Irish- Lots of Bye weeks for the top teams, ND will sit towards the low end of the power rankings unless teams above it suffer bad losses until their clash with USC. Quality Wins: Penn St., @GaTechBad Loss: Michigan
11. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets- Moves down one spot because Auburn definately deserves to move up in the rankings. And GaTech had a bye before their big clash with Clemson. Quality Wins: @VaTech
Dropped Out: Nobody
Bubble Teams: Clemson, BC, Rutgers
Past Power Rankings: 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
~Coker should be fired this afternoon, no reason to wait. His program is highly diminished in results and he has obviously no control over his team when even his Senior Defensive Captain Merriweather is capable of running out onto the field and stomping on people with his cleats. Sorry Larry nice guy, but the U needs someone new.
~VaTech needs to recruit a QB and some offensive weapons, getting shutdown by BC is completely unacceptable.
~Poor Adrian Peterson stumbling for a meaningless touchdown in the last quarter and breaking his collar bone. His college career should be over as the Sooners won't be a National Title contender next season and he will be a top 5 pick. Enjoy the NFL.
~Texas' title hopes got worse with the Missouri loss as now they won't even have that showdown to circle as an upper tier victory.
~Wow Georgia needs a QB.
~Garrett Wolfe ran for 25 yards this week, goodbye Heisman.
~I maintain that Iowa and Ferentz are incredibly overrated and the loss to Indiana further establishes this, now I just need them to get drubbed by the Wolverines.
~Mark Reicht you know you played Vandy this week right, Vandy? And you lost? What happenned to you? You used to only lose to good teams.
Friday, October 13, 2006
And the NFL spreads are starting to get larger and larger each week. I think I went with slightly too many favorites this week but we'll see.
5. Cincinatti Bengals (-6 1/2) at Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Fool me once Bruce, now its time to fool me twice. The Bengals are a scoring machine the Bucs need to play superb defense to shutdown the Bengals don't think it's going to happen.
4. Dallas Cowboys (-10 1/2) at Houston Texans
The Cowboys desperately need to bounce back this week and they run up against the perfect opponent to make Drew Bledsoe look again like a serviceable quarterback. The Texans will make the Cowboys offense look potent again and for yet another week good ole #1 Draft pick anti-SuperMario will do nada.
3. Washington Redskins (-9 1/2) vs. Tennessee Titans
Yes this is an enormous spread but here is what the Redskins have shown this season, that they are terrible against good teams but trounce bad teams. Just look at the Texans and Dolphins scores. Tennessee qualifies as a bad team and thus I expect the Redskins to win by double digits.
2. Chicago Bears (-10 1/2) at Arizona Cardinals
The Bears have been by far the best team in the NFL and are currently leading the NFL in points scored and points allowed. Thats a pretty good combo. I think it's a lot to ask of Matt Leinart to keep this game competetive. I expect a two touchdown victory for the Bears.
1. Philadelphia Eagles (-3 1/2) at New Orleans Saints
Barring a 4th quarter collapse against the Giants and the Eagles would be pushing the Bears as the best team in the NFL. While I expect the Saints to be up for this game and they are a much improved team and I expect them to push for the wild card and the division I just think that McNabb is too hot to be stopped and the Eagles will cover the small spread.
Seattle (-3 1/2) at St. Louis ... Huge need for the Seahawks, expect a bounce back
New York Giants (+2 1/2) at Atlanta ... Giants have enough LB speed to fluster Vick
Detroit (+1 1/2) vs. Buffalo ... They'll get stupid close to 40
Carolina (+2 1/2) at Baltimore ... Baltimore is overrated
Whale's Vagina (-10 1/2) at San Fran ... Too much Rivers
Pittsburgh (-6 1/2) vs. Kansas City ... Bounce back for 3 day old cheeseburger
New York Jets (-2 1/2) vs. Miami ... Been wrong on Miami 5 weeks, make it 6?
Denver (-16 1/2) vs. Oakland ... Holy momma that's a point spread
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Really a below average college football weekend with only one ranked vs. ranked matchup.
5. Rutgers Scarlet Knights vs. Navy Midshipmen in Anapolis
It's pretty damn odd that either of these teams are involved in a football game worth watching nevermind one of the biggest games of the weekend. Navy comes into the game 5-1 and having beaten some solid teams along the way while Rutgers is 5-0 and has been mostly unchallenged. Navy is an option run first team, so if you do watch the game expect some old school football. The Pick: Rutgers by a couple.
4. UCLA Bruins vs. Oregon Ducks in Euguene
A battle of two upper-tier Pac 10 teams. It will probably be a shootout honestly I'm not that interested in the Pac 10 until these teams start playing USC. The Pick: Ducks roll in a bounce back game
3. Virgina Tech Hokies vs. Boston College Eagles in Chestnut Hill
The loser of this game will be all but eliminated from ACC Championship contention. The Hokies looked miserable both on the the offensive line and Sean Glennon's rush reads. It will be interesting to see if the Eagles can exploit this similarly to how the Yellow Jackets did. The game goes up against two baseball games tonight but if you get the chance flip on ESPN for a few, should be a good game. The Pick: VaTech in a low scoring defensive struggle.
2. Michigan Wolverines vs. Penn St. Nittany Lions in Happy Valley
This wouldn't be as big of a game if not for the absence of Manningham. Just revert back to last seasons game where Mannigham had two 4th quarter touchdowns including the last second walk off td. They couldn't cover him and it was his coming out party. Penn St. will obviously look to do exactly what Michigan did to them last year be that one chink in the armor but despite the Wolverines record last year they were a more talented team than this years version of Penn St.The Pick: Michigan shuts down Penn St. anyway and wins by around 10.
1. Florida Gators vs. Auburn Tigers in Auburn
The only marquee matchup, and this could be the Gators biggest test throughout the remainder of the season. The Tigers might have slept through their game last week but they certainly will be focused on the Gators and their attempt to stay within SEC striking distance. Its just that Kenny Irons has been the phenom on offense that they need him to be, he needs to rush for close to 130 to get the Tigers over the hump and I don't see that happening even at home. The Pick: Florida by a couple, better recruits more offensive weapons
Much delayed, my apologies.
AL Coach of the Year
1. Jim Leyland - Hey I got the Tigers to the playoffs, thats an auto trophy.
2. Ken Macha - Got the A's to the playoffs despite major injuries to his SS and ace of the staff.
3. Ron Gardenhire - Pushed his squad past both the Tigers and the White Sox for the division down the stretch and helped develop Morneau into an MVP candidate.
NL Coach of the Year
1. Joe Girardi - Got fired even though he's going to win coach of the year, wow that's moronic. Got the rookie squad to the brink of the playoffs.
2. Willie Randolph - Pulled all the right strings despite the fact that his team suffered major injuries to the pitching staff.
3. Jerry Narron - The Reds were in contention for a long time until their idiot manager decided to trade two of their starting lineup for bullpen help. How'd that work out for ya?
AL Rookie of the Year
1. Justin Verlander - After the slow decline of Jonathon Papelbon and the season ending injury to both Paps and Liriano, Verlander emerges as really the sole choice for the rookie of the year, putting up fantastic numbers throughout the year and helping lead the Tigers to the postseason.
2. Jonathan Papelbon - Impacted the Red Sox season for a longer period of time than did Liriano, both had stellar season but I'll give the slight edge to Paps with his .92 era. Moving him to the rotation next season is going to be a cataclysmic mistake.
3. Francisco Liriano - Supremely dynamic and without the two shoulder injuries could have challenged for both the rookie of the year as well as the Cy Young. Hopefully he does not turn into the next Wood, Prior or Harden.
Honorable Mention - Kenji Johjima who quitely put up great catcher #s
NL Rookie of the Year
1. Ryan Zimmerman - I have been on his band wagon all season long. He lead all rookies in RBIs he plays a gold glove 3B and he had 4 walk off hits for the Nationals including a walk off home run against the Yankees Wang.
2. Hanley Ramirez - Hit a solid .292 scored a whopping 119 runs and stole 51 bases you really couldn't go wrong if you chose him.
3. Takashi Saito - Did a great job taking over the closers role from the always injured Eric Gagne and the hideous Danys Baez.
Honorable Mention - Any Marlin your heart may desire, the Prince
AL Cy Young
1. Johan Santana - Hmm, he lead the league in Ks, ERA, Wins and Innings. Winner
2. Roy Halladay - Second in the league in ERA, granted almost a half run behind, had solid numbers around the board was healthy throughout the season and helped the Blue Jays to the second best record in the AL East.
3. Chien Ming Wang - Tied for the league lead in wins with 19 and had more saves than Johan Santana or Roy Halladay with 1. Wang has emerged as the Yankees #1 starter and their most reliable pitcher, and at home he was almost unbeatable.
Honorable Mention: The Rookie brigade of Paps, Verlander & Liriano
NL Cy Young
1. Trevor Hoffman - Yes I know he's a closer and yes I know he only threw around 70 innings but lets be honest all of the starters were basically the same thing and none of them stood hands and shoulders above the rest. Hoffman however was by far the most important closer in the league this season and after a slow start came through most importantly during the last two months of the season when his club needed him most.
2. Roy Oswalt - Tied for the league lead in wins, a terrific era and the unsung hero of the Astros pitching staff.
3. Carlos Zambrano - Led the league in strikeouts had a solid ERA and a comprable win total and played for a miserable team.
Honorable Mention - Brandon Webb, Chris Carpenter, Billy Wagner
1. Albert Pujols - It came down to the final weekend of the year to me. If the Cards got into the playoffs Pujols would take it, if they finalized their freefall Berkman would have grabbed it. In the end Pujols simply has slightly better numbers in every area than Berkman and his team made the postseason.
2. Lance Berkman - Lance to me is a rock solid #2 choice for MVP. If you analyze Ryan Howard and Berkman or Pujols numbers down to the bone you will notice some big discrepancies in favor of Lance and Albert. First the Phillies are a much better run producing team than either the Cards or the Astros and this manifests itself in many statistical fields. Lance Berkman had 13 less home runs than Ryan Howard, which also means that 13 more of Howards Rbi's/Runs are actually the same instance of Howards crossing the plate himself. So take that away and Howard has 9 more runs produced than Berkman. Now look at batting with RISP and there is a huge difference, in 33 less at bats Berkman had 8 more hits than Howard, aka he was much more clutch than Howard was this season for a team that needed runs much more than the Phils.
3. Ryan Howard - A great year which could be an MVP season at anytime in history and he will probably end up winning it anyone. Yet he is what he is a big swinging hacker with a lot of homers yet a lot of Ks, and the fact that he has the best hitting middle infield this side of the Bronx certainly helped his run production.
Honorable Mention: Pick a Met any Met
To me this is one of the hardest MVPs to give out in years, but here is the criteria that I am going to use to break it down. 1st Statistics period this is what you have to look at. 2nd statistical comparison via their position around the league, aka how favorable is Joe Mauer over the rest of the catchers. 3rd where would the team be without the player.
1. Derek Jeter - Here's where statistically I think Derek Jeter makes the case for the MVP, the fact isn't just that he's a shortstop its a comparison of of all the other players in the league that play his position. Derek leads all AL SS in R, SB, OBP, BA. 2nd in OPS, BB, Hits. 3rd in RBIs. There are only 3 SS in the AL (Young, Tejada, Guillen) who are even remotely close to Jeter statistically. Another thing that isn't overstated is that Derek Jeter is an absolute beast with runners in scoring position batting .381, and .369 with RISP and two outs. Plus, Jeter had the two biggest hits in the 5 game sweep of the Boston Red Sox. Finally the Yankees have had major injuries to their lineup including Cano who missed several weeks, throughout the whole season Jeter has been the rock of their lineup and everyday shows up plays the most important position on the field and rakes. Then again the Yanks still scored the most runs in the majors. In the end I give it to Jeter because this season there is no question that he was the most valuable player on the Yankees. Not Giambi not Arod not Wang not even Mariano, the most valuable player on the Yankees the best team in the American League was Jeter. In contrast the top candidates from the Twins Morneau, Mauer, or Santana I think its impossible to 100% state that one was more important than the other. Same with Dye over Konerko and Thome.
2. Joe Mauer - I look at the Twins lineup and see Joe Mauer as being a more integral part of that roster. Granted Morneau has the more gaudy power numbers but look at Mauer's numbers in comparison to every other catcher in baseball. Only Brian McCann and Victor Martinez's numbers stack up. And Martinez is a terrible defensive catcher. Stack on the fact that Mauer won the batting title hits 3rd in the order and has handled what was mostly a youthful rotation down the stretch and I think Joe Mauer is the most valuable Twin this season barely edging out Johan.
3. Johan Santana - Try to imagine where the Twins would be without Johan this year, I don't care that he only pitches once every 5 days. The Twins were 26-7 in his starts this season. That's well over 1/4 of their victories. Throw any normal pitcher in their or even a top tier guy and the Twins don't make the playoffs.
Honorable Mention: Jermaine Dye had a fantastic season, same with Morneau, same with the Big Hurt