Crow Wants You to Have a Dirty Asshole

For the most part I simply write about sports, but on occasion someone says something so profoundly stupid that I need to comment. Yesterday, that women was Sheryl Crow, who's music isn't any good, said this on her tour blog yesterday:

"Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, whose judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

Wash a friggin square out? What kind of toilet paper are you using? Some kind of persian cloth? And this is your ingenious plan on saving the environment, using less toilet paper. You can not be serious, one sheet individual square of toilet paper, I don't believe there's any chance in hell that would work. Perhaps Sheryl Crow just likes to wipe her ass with just her hand, or perhaps she only shits gold. Maybe we should up that to no pieces of toilet paper and every bathroom should contain multiple bidets and bars of soap, that way we can waste water instead of paper.

Oh and she has more ideas one of which includes wearing items of clothing where you have a detachable sleeve, and use that as a napkin for the night instead of using an actual napkin. And you can bring another sleeve with you to the restaurant and attach it right on.

This woman needs to be stopped, no person this stupid should be allowed to talk.

Numbers On Steroids: Mickey Mantle

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. This week it's throwing a curve ball and looking at All Time Great Yankees. Players that we know did not take steroids to see if this gives a defense to any of the players 'convicted' by Numbers on Steroids. Time to look at my dad's favorite athlete of all time, Mickey Mantle. Averages Say: What's with the mysterious dip at 27 and then the uptick? At Bats Per Home Run Says: That's a mighty jump from 22 to 24 Explaining As If It Was the 90s If you take a look at the numbers there are two time frames which in the 1990s would be questioned. First would be the incredible leap he took from his first year in the big leagues to his first MVP season in 1956. His batting average jumped 50 points. His slugging percentage jumped 90 points and he hit 15 more homers than his previous high. This wouldn't merrit a conviction nowadays though because the young age he...

Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post

Guest Post: Thoughts on Sabathia Signing

I asked Grutt what his thoughts were on the Sabathia signing and I thought his response pretty much nailed it. So here it is. I don’t know. Every year I get a little more disenchanted with baseball. Yea, it’s great we signed the top pitching free agent. But we were supposed to. No team was even in the ballpark of the Yankees offer yet they still needed to jump from the already ridiculous price of $140 million to $160 million to close the deal. Now I hear we are going to sign more pitchers who will also get large contracts and the position player gaps are still glaring. Each new, large contract just adds to the feeling that the Yanks are supposed to win it all. “I think we have a good chance this year.” That is a lost feeling. If they don’t win I’ll wonder why, like there has to be some other reason besides that it’s a sport you can never predict how things will work out and some years just aren’t yours to be won. If they win I will be pleasantly smug. It gets a little more...

Continue Reading the Rest of This Fine Post

Comments

Anonymous said…

I don't know what things are like where Sheryl comes from, but where I come from, most toilet paper is made from recycled paper. Now isn't that a better solution than having a dirty ass? Maybe she should be focussing her energy on getting the toilet paper companies to use more recycled paper. Although, I doubt they'd pay much attention to her. Her credibility has gone right down the drain after comments like this.

While on the subject of toilet paper, I don't understand why 100% of it all over the world isn't made from recycled paper (not recycled toilet paper, obviously, but recycled newspaper, etc, for example). I mean, who cares what they wipe their ass on? It all turns out the same colour in the end.

7:59 AM

SimonOnSports

Search This Blog