Too bad Tulowitzki is hitting two hundred.

Killed some braincells this weekend, don't remember a lot but here's what I got feel free to fill in the blanks with some comments...

Power Rankings Recap

The assessment was pretty good I think. The Immortal 4 finished 5 under somewhere in the upple middle section, although surprisingly mostly due to J-Box's putting, he nailed 2 bird putts and an iggle putt, who knew. Conor, a sober one at that, and Carlson both cheated again and finished in the top couple of spots. P-Bird by all accounts solidified his lieing by winning the long drive. Team Gayrutt finished somewhere around 6 over qualifying them for very close to last if not last, and did not record a single bird all day long. And for the most part I was too drunk to remember any of the other scores. Probably should have had some breakfast not made by Arthur Guinness if I wanted to remember most of the shit to put in the guy.

Apparently the Carl Pavano of golf made it through all 18 this year. Next year is guaranteed for a breakdown.

Grutt Wins Bet = Lame

So we had a bet that Grutt wouldn't hit the green on the Par 3 closest to pin hole and withing 30 minutes on the course I get a buzz from Grutt saying a lost and that he hit the green. Little did I know that the green was 120 away from the tea and the size of the Mediterranean, I hit a horrible shot and landed on the green and apparently grutt's was worse. Boo to that.

Wes Sucks at Golf

That is all.

Perras Piss Ball

So someone in the 4-some decided to hit a ball directly next to our tee box and decided that calling fore wasn't important. Somehow that ball ended up in a puddle of refurbished budweiser, and Perras enjoyably picked up the ball and probably continued to play with it. Ouch...

Death of my Driver Hole #14

I shank one of my many drives off the tee and calmly toss my driver over my head, truly calmly, typically on a club throw I would get lots of hang time, this one was just a toss over the head. And then I hear everyone in my group cracking up, and turn around and there it is, club snapped in half. Apparently it landed directly on the head, and snap. Boo to that.

Words of Wisdom from Jimmy Bones

It would have been good if it were straight.

It would have been good if it didn't go in the woods.

I'm just gonna go back to drinkin beers

I wish I owned them copper clubs like you guys.

What, I showed you where not to go.

The Great Lakes are saltwater right?

"The Chesapeake Bay and the Great Lakes connect." Cotton

How about you build Bones a copter whap, whap, whap....

Random Time Line Stuff

So I took notes, most of them don't make any sense to me right now...

9:34 Tehrani definately has the least hetero outfit, Pierce has sweet hat to save skull from the sun, Drew showing the chest hair and work boots, D-Rock dressing classy?
11:01 5th hole, 1st bird
11:26 Cotton's hat so gay
1:07 Alcohol 1 Immortal 4 0
1:20 Simone Embarrasses Team
1:23 Simone Doesn't Embarrass Team
1:25 J Breezy = Tiger Woods
1:45 Next year we need to stay drunk the entire time so we peak earlier
2 something or other Fors grills me for something I didn't do cause I have red hair
6 Kei Igawa doesn't suck, miracles do happen
7-9 Simone takes death nap
12 Back to Liets
3 am 'Martinez' tells girl he wants to go Mudd Driving
3 am Grenier gets a nice birthday kick to the temple, hello hospital

What white kid didn't love Thunder Dan during his heyday?

~I would be willing to bet a lot of money that there are a decent amount of trades in the top 15 picks and that the players selected differ from my mock draft no later than pick 6, my guess is Calvin Johnson will probably blow the lid off my whole my draft by having someone trade up for him.

~Joe Thomas has decided to go fishing instead of attending the draft, I don't know about you but this turns me off for several reasons. This is the biggest day of your life and you're going to lounge around on a pond all day instead of getting up on the podium? Do you not care that much / is this somehow not a big deal for you. In addition fishing sucks, its to friggin boring.

~I still can't believe the Patriots got a first round pick for Deion Branch, that seemed like too much to give up at the time for me and I'm sure the Seahawks would like to have their pick right now rather than Branch. You know the the Patriots will unearth some unknowned guy that will have a huge impact on their team this year. It happens every year. Pick range 20-30 is the perfect avenue for Bill to improve his team.

~If you're the Raiders why not take the best player in the draft Calvin Johnson and trade Randy Moss to a team that might motivate him so he has some value. Another year in Oakland is another year wasted for Randy Moss's skill set and another year where his value declines.

~I hope the Jets draft a cornerback in the 1st round and not the Olsen kid from Miami. I'm just never excited about picking a 1st round TE. The whole Anthony Becht waste probably lead to that.

~If your Washington don't you almost have to trade your #6 pick down to pick up a few more selections. I mean you don't have a 2nd or 3rd round pick right now. How is your team ever gonna be any good if you never can accumulate a lot of young players that fill well under the cap.

~Busts: Marshawn Lynch, Ted Ginn

~Falling to Far: Dwayne Jarrett

This is what I put into the ESPN Draft Forecast Game yesterday, I'd say this is what happens if there are no trades. My guess is there will end up being a ton of trades and it will look nothing like this. I think I did horrible in this game last year.

1st - Oakland Raiders, JaMarcus Russell, LSU QB

The Raiders suck all over the place, why they think a qb is going to solve this issue I have no idea. Russell has a big arm and is a large man, but without a decent offensive line Big Tree fall hard. He does fit the profile and look of a Raider, so that's a plus.

2nd - Detroit Lions, Gaines Adams, Clemson DE

They should take Calvin Johnson, but most likely they won't because Matt Millen, even though he's bullet proof apparently doesn't want to get fired. Chances are they trade this pick at some point, but if they don't I bet they draft Adams.

3rd - Cleveland Browns, Adrian Peterson, Oklahoma RB

Today I found out that Peterson reinjured his collar bone in the Fiesta Bowl and could miss 2 to 3 months, basically all of training camp and the preseason. Hmm. Shall I rethink it? Too Lazy. Anyway I just don't think the Browns want to bail on Charlie Frye yet and that leads them away from Brady Quinn. If Peterson stays healthy, the combo of Peterson, Edwards, and Winslow would give them promising players at all skill positions on offense.

4th - Tampa Bay Buccaneers, Calvin Johnson, Ga Tech WR

If the Bucs are sitting at 4 and Calvin Johnson is still on the board they will sprint to the podium. He's a stud.

5th - Arizona Cardinals, Joe Thomas, Wisconsin OT

Same goes for the Cardinals who are probably saying their prayers that a massive offensive lineman falls into their laps so they possibly develop some semblence of a rushing attack.

6th - Washington Redskins, Amobi Okoye, Louisville DT

Who the hell knows what the Redskins will do. It makes sense for them to trade for Briggs, they never draft anyone. But if they stay, they'll probably go for this kid, who's a 19 year old beast of a man.

7th - Minnesota Vikings, Brady Quinn, Notre Dame QB

Sorry, but I watched Tavarus Jackson last year, I don't think the Vikings want a poor man's Mike Vick to be captaining their franchise for the future.

8th - Atlanta Falcons (from Houston), LaRon Landry, LSU DS

The Falcons draft a d-back every year it seems like, and typically a VaTech d-back. Unfortunately no VaTech d-back is highly touted so they will jump on the Geaux Tigers bandwagon.

9th - Miami Dolphins, Levi Brown, Penn State OT

Dolphins need a lot, my guess is they just go safe and grab the Offensive tackle, unless of course they trade up for Quinn.

10th - Houston Texans (from Atlanta), Leon Hall, Michigan DC

Personally as a huge Michigan fan, I think Hall and Branch are a bit overrated. Maybe it was just the fact that they were completely outcoached in the Rose Bowl, as always, but their touted defense got torched, especially their secondary, which was lead by Hall. So the Texans probably draft him because, their franchise consists of a bunch of morons.

11th - San Francisco 49ers, Adam Carriker, Nebraska DE

49ers have been attempting to load up on offense the past few years with Smith, Gore, and Davis, so they probably go defense here and pick up Carriker and wait for a wideout with their 2nd round pick.

12th - Buffalo Bills, Patrick Willis, Ole Miss ILB

I think every single mock draft I looked at had the Bills taking Willis and it makes a lot of sense given the fact that they losdt Spikes.

13th - St. Louis Rams, Alan Branch, Michigan DT

Alan Branch is a large large man, and with the addition of Dante Hall, they won't make the mistake of drafting Ted Ginn, good move for them trading a 5th round pick for Hall instead of wasting a 1st round pick on Ginn.

14th - Carolina Panthers, Reggie Nelson, Florida DS

I have no idea what to expect from the Panthers. I 've seen just about everything including drafting Olsen the TE from Miami. I think you have to go value pick and get the best guy, not just needs, and will end up taking Nelson, who is a special athlete.

15th - Pittsburgh Steelers, Lawrence Timmons, Florida St OLB

They lost Porter so the sensible pick is an linebacker who will fit their new 4-3 scheme. Not sure why they are going to change from the 3-4 that's worked for the past 10+ seasons, but new coach new team.

It's pig Dinner Weekend and at the request of a few chumps I did a little team by team Power Rankings. So drink up be merry and don't get all of your front teeth chipped in half by some unconfirmed assbag who pulled your feet out from under you.

1. The Cuntry Club: Derick Fors(2002), Matt Bielik(2001), Jon Keaney(1999), Add New Member

Should I even count Fors team in the running for the best score, he is the Pro at the course and probably has played it hundred if not thousands of times already. A sabotage would need to be held most likely to ge them to lose, even if they do end up with just 3 guys.

2. Don't Hassle The Hoff: Jason Casimiro(2002), Jeffrey Costa(2002), Matthew Siska(2002), Gregory LaCamera(2002)

I could be wrong but were all these guys on the golf team with the exception of Siska? I feel like they post a good score every year.

3. G.F.Y.: Ryan "Thunder" Fournier(2000), Dana "The Towering Infermo" Griffin(2000), Max "The Dirty Sanchez" Gomez(2000), Kevin "The Brokeback Cowboy" Landrigan(2000)

I also feel like what ever team Dana plays on always puts up a top score, could be wrong on that assumption to but these three teams seem to be on the top of the leader board every year.

4. The Mighty Putz: Jamie Carlson(1999), Mike Dorval(2002), Keith Kerr(1999), Add New Member

I swear Carlson cheats every year. Somehow someway his team ends up with a good score when it's highly doubtful they are that good.

5. Duke Lacrosse Alums: Conor Casey(2004), Brian "Breathmint" Abcunas(2004), Karl Gebhardt(2004), Gary Pedro(2004)

Every year somehow this team does well. I don't particularly get why, I can't imagine Abcunas being any good even though he did play hockey. Never really got how somehow that awkward could play a sport. I wouldn't put it past Conor to pull a Jamie Carlson every year. Hopefully, P-Bird doesn't run over anymore headstones so we can continue to golf at this course in future years and not be banned from this course like so many before it.

6. Immortal 4: Matt Simone(2005), Jim Loiselle(2005), Dan Schwab(2005), Justin Billings(2005)

Billings and Cotton are good, I'm bad, Jimbo usually is in the bag by the 9th hole. Typically we finish in the middle of the pack because no one ever either A) Sticks it right by the hole or B) Makes a putt. The Forecast is for a little bit of rain so perhaps, Jimbo decides to prance around the golf course in solely his boxers again, 'To Stay Warm'. Genius.

7. BallBags: Paul "Lassie" Elliott(2003), Matt Long(2003), Dirk Diggler(2003), Matt Clark(2003)

I'm probably an idiot but I'm missing the connection of who Dirk Diggler is. Perhaps it's coach Rob I'm sure every former baseball player misses his leadership and guidance and would go completely out of their way to see him again.

8. Team Bushwood: Wes Salomon(2005), John Courtney(2005), Shawn Walker(2005), Tony Maglione(2005)

Wes is quite possibly the worst golfer to ever hold a club. If I had to put an over under on the number of his shots that the team will use, discounting putts, for the entire day I would lay it at 2.5, and then I would take the under the way under.

9. Delta Force: Jay Cardinal(2001), Jonathan Rich(2001), Paul O'Brien(2001), Ben Wilson(2001)

We played behind them I think last year and if I remember correctly they were not very good.

10. Busch Light Brigade: Andrew Frascotti(2006), Andrew Mills(2006), Jeff Perras(2006), John Tehrani(2006)

One of the Biggest Question Marks of the tournament is whether Tehrani, the Carl Pavano of Pig Dinners, will in fact be able to make it through all 18 holes. Vegas Line is 2 to 1 he will. Also, if I was Sweet Lou I would be much more appreciative of my eldest son as you will soon see despite the fact he can't properly sit on lawn furniture.

11. Chipper 'n Dales: Brent Shannon(Undergrad), Mike Pierce(Undergrad), Ryan DeChristoforo(2006), Drew Forrest(2006)

Should have named this group the Dead Presidents and the Forrest. Now I'd imagine Drew being very awful at golf, and can't see Brent being particularly good either. I would expect Pierce and Brent to be bringing their a games with outfits, and fully expect Pierce to be wearing some fruity hat to keep his skull in the shade.

12. Clubs and Shrubs: Brian McDonough(Undergrad), Eric Robert Sands(2005), Bryan Bussone(Undergrad), Kiki Martinez(Undergrad)

I was going to put them higher because Buss is surprisingly good at golf and Sands isn't bad himself, then I put it together that they'll probably be stoned by the third hole and smashing their golf carts into bushes.

13. Chronic Master-Putters: Chris Hamel(2004), Sean Coughlin(2004), Aaron Vanney(2004), Derek Ransom(2005)

Half the team is high the other half, not so good at golf. Chances are good that D-Rock and Buss meet at some point in time during the day to pull a drag race and or a little modification of Bumper Cars.

14. Phi Gamma Slammas: Joseph Renaud(Undergrad), Barrett Franklin(2005), Joe Frascotti(Undergrad), Lou Frascotti(1979)

Sweet Lou what exactly did you do to your son to deserve this kind of torture. Sure you will be able to grace the course with someone so great that they recorded a hole in one during their first round of golf and played a round with Tiger Woods at Pebble Beach, but how will you not end up being embarrassed when he straps the team on his back and makes every shot?

15. The Fraternity of Mu Tau: Anthony Smith(2005), Sean Mahoney(2005), Joseph Gruttadauria(2005), Rick Adams(2005)

In a heated battle for last place Team Derby should be able to drag down I'm good at every Rick by producing absolutely no quality shots throughout the entire tournament. Mahoney does however have the body of a Phil Mickelson and is from Tampa, could he perhaps make up for Grutt's ineptitude. Probably not.

I think next year there should be a 4-some of the worst golfers, with Wes, Ziggy, possibly Grutt and another.

Unknown Soldiers

Sure I may know some of them, but I have no idea how good they may or may not be at golf.

AberKoski & Bald: Justin Dyer(1999), Matt Koski(1999), Rick Gallimore(1999), Jim Armitage(1999)

The "Blue Max" School of Dance - Talent Scouts: Wally Towner, "Head" Inspector(1983), Bill "I've Fallen and I Can't Get It Up" Trask(Undergrad), Misael Diaz(Undergrad), Add New Member

Burnt Stumps: Bill Musiak(1993), Jim Meystrik(1995), Dave Henry(1993), Sean Conley(1995)

FIJI Masters: Henry Fitzgerald(1975), Joel Angelico(1975), Add New Member, Add New Member

Fiji Masters Steel Traps: Dave Vogt(1977), John Wilbur(1977), Alex Vogt(1975), Add New Member

J.A.B.J: Matt O'Brien(1997), Alan Assner(1996), BG Chabot(1996), Matt Pelkey(1996)

Monkey Dicks: Scott Theriault(1998), Mark Palmer(1998), Mike Dunbar(1996), Mark Simon(1996)

Night Train Express: Andy Williams(1936), Sean Doherty(1992), Paul Bordieri(1993), Ed Leono(1995)

No Name Golfers: Bill Johnson(1993), Matt Jeffers(1993), Chris Ledoux(1993), Derek Anderson(1993)

What is wrong with the Japanese? Could you possibly get away with this in American?

So from now on every time Dice-K gives up a home run I think Varitek should go to the mound and give him a swift jimmy tap with his catchers mit. Seems like it is acceptable punishment in the far east.

Apparently Cups should be mandatory on crosses in the box. Most likely that guy would have rather not scored the goal. Although Blunt testicular trama is always fun.

From: The Offside

Two days ago Sebastian Telfair was arrested on a guns possession charge (his girlfriends gun) after getting pulled over for driving 77 in a 45 in his massive Landrover and the Celtics couldn't run to the teams locker room fast enough to rip his name off of his former locker and say:

I wanted to let you know that we have removed Sebastian's nameplate from his locker in Waltham. The facts and circumstances of his case have not been determined but he does not have a Celtics locker and we do not anticipate that he will," Celtics managing partner Wyc Grousbeck wrote in an e-mail to The Boston Globe on Tuesday.

"The players on the Celtics have been explicitly warned, this year, to obey the team and league gun prohibition as well as state laws. We take this very seriously and will act accordingly once the facts have been determined," Grousbeck also stated.

Personally I think this is completely laughable. The Celtics made a horrendous trade in picking up Telfair and have would have taken anything he could have done as an excuse to attempt to perge him from the roster. How about you do some in house cleansing and tell Ainge that he should have to pay a portion of Telfair's salary. It's not as if Telfair hasn't done stuff like this in the past, he did get caught with a gun in 2005 at Logan airport while going on a team plane.

There reaction was like oh my god Telfair got caught with a gun, this is completely unacceptable, and since he sucks and is a waste of our roster spot right now and is a reminder of how miserable our GM is with regards to trades, we want him off the roster ASAP.

Chad Ford of ESPN does a good job of summing up the Celtics quickness of action, but its an INSIDER article, so you probably can't read it. Basically in essence the Celtics most likely will not put Telfair on the roster, but won't waive him either considering he is still a 21 year old point guard with potential, who doesn't get paid much, and has an expiring contract at the end of next season. So my guess is Danny will be shopping him and his girlfriends gun around the NBA for the next month. My guess is it all depends on whether the C's get a top two pick in this years draft, else you should expect the whatever pick they get (#3, #4, or #5) to be shipped with Bassy and Ratliff for a veteran.

In the end every should be reminded that it was Danny Ainge's lunacy that brought Telfair to Boston, I thought it was a miserable move at the time and somehow it exceeded my terrible expectations. And right now for some reason I almost feel bad for the guy.

Ouch...

~Extrapolate Arod's 3s for an entire season:
675 ABs, 270 Hits, 234 Runs, 63 Doubles, 126 Homers, 306 RBIs, 9 SBs -- WOW

~At the opposite end of the spectrum extrapolate David Wrights #s:
621 ABs, 162 Hits, 99 Runs, 27 Doubles, 0 Homers, 36 RBIs, 27 SBs -- OUCH

~Mets Record = 12-6, Yankees Record = 8-10, Go Figure.

~Jason Giambi might be the slowest baseball player of this generation. Last night in the 8th inning down 4, Giambi standing on second base Cano hits a line drive up the middle. Giambi rounds third but doesn't score in spite of the fact that Elijah Dukes kicked the ball no lie 30 feet in front of him. Posada proceeded to foul out, and Cabrera struck out to strand the bases loaded. So Giambi's fatness cost me both an RBI from Cano and a save from Reyes, as he came in up 4 instead of 3.

~This also got me annoyed heavily because Joe Girardi said something completely retarded. When Giambi didn't score on the boot, Girardi said it wasn't that big of a deal and they didn't want to push it because Giambi's run didn't mean anything. That was completely stupid. It was the 8th inning, the only time that forcing a run is meaningless is in the 9th inning when the run comes prior to the tieing run. At any other point in the game it decreses the deficit. Thus in the next inning when Arod blasted another homerun, Giambi would have come up as the tieing run instead of being up down 2. How could a manager of the year say something that stupid?

~I can't stand Michael Kay, I just can't. I really wish the Yankees had a different announcer. He tries to analyze stuff too much when that's not his job. And how long are you going to chime in on the fact that Key Igawa needs to get used to American food. It's America, there are Japanese restaurants all over the place, he can afford to order a meal from any restaraunt in the Tampa St. Pete area, I'm pretty sure he can find atleast one decent place to get a meal. Does American food make you forget how to throw a strike?

~Basically the overall broadcasting of the Yankees last night was piss poor. Where oh where have you gone Bobby Murcer and Jim Kaat.

~Something I absolutely don't get about the draft. Leon Hall is getting hyped as the #1 cornerback in the draft and solidified his status as so after a solid 40 time, as a diehard Michigan fan that's cool you have the #1 player at a given position. But here's what I don't understand Dwayne Jarrett's stock is on the decline after a poor 40 time and is garnering some unfavorable comparisons to Mike Williams. Anybody watch the Rose Bowl? Anybody? Did that slip past the scouting calendar? Maybe 205 yards and 2 TDs in a game where on occasion he was matched up with the #1 cornerback in the draft is bad. I've got to be missing something.

~Hooray the Celtics are going to attempt to cut complete ties with Telfair.

~Jimmy Rollins just needed a double to get a cycle and get me some cash.

~Just went to the pisser and was directly behind a guy walking into the door and in a 3 urinal bathroom he took the middle one. I'm pretty sure there's nothing in life simpler than this that annoys the hell out of me.

For the most part I simply write about sports, but on occasion someone says something so profoundly stupid that I need to comment. Yesterday, that women was Sheryl Crow, who's music isn't any good, said this on her tour blog yesterday:

"Although my ideas are in the earliest stages of development, they are, in my mind, worth investigating. One of my favorites is in the area of forest conservation which we heavily rely on for oxygen. I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting. Now, I don't want to rob any law-abiding American of his or her God-given rights, but I think we are an industrious enough people that we can make it work with only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where 2 to 3 could be required. When presenting this idea to my younger brother, whose judgment I trust implicitly, he proposed taking it one step further. I believe his quote was, "how bout just washing the one square out."

Wash a friggin square out? What kind of toilet paper are you using? Some kind of persian cloth? And this is your ingenious plan on saving the environment, using less toilet paper. You can not be serious, one sheet individual square of toilet paper, I don't believe there's any chance in hell that would work. Perhaps Sheryl Crow just likes to wipe her ass with just her hand, or perhaps she only shits gold. Maybe we should up that to no pieces of toilet paper and every bathroom should contain multiple bidets and bars of soap, that way we can waste water instead of paper.

Oh and she has more ideas one of which includes wearing items of clothing where you have a detachable sleeve, and use that as a napkin for the night instead of using an actual napkin. And you can bring another sleeve with you to the restaurant and attach it right on.

This woman needs to be stopped, no person this stupid should be allowed to talk.

~I very much enjoyed the fact that both the Spurs and Mavericks got knocked off their pedastal game 1. Could possibly lead to some good first round series. One has to question how the Mavericks who won 67 games this season have been swept thus far this season by the Warriors. Is there truly a possibility that the Mavericks can beat every other team in the NBA but for some unknown reason Nelly has his old squads number? How miserable would it be if a team won 67 games had multiple 15 game win streaks and then got bounced in the first round of the playoffs by a team that hasn't made the playoffs since C-Webb was on the roster. Also, I can't stand the Spurs and would much rather see AI and Carmello move onto the next round. Get some fresh blood in the mix.

~On the opposite side. The Suns, Cavs, and Pistons are going to roll through their series with no issue at all.

~What the hell happenned to Andrei Kirilenko, he used to be a defensive force and an underrated player. Now he's crying on the bench over a lack of playing time?

~I just can't get into the Hockey Playoffs right now. That move to Versus is quite possibly the single dumbest cable move of all time. The NBA was on 8 hours a day this weekend, the NHL on the other hand was on NBC once a day. And Versus, a channel I don't get probably the rest of the time. Stupid.

~Cole Hamels had 15Ks in a game in which his team turned a triple play, that's pretty impressive, 15 Ks in effectively 8 innings.

~The Oreo's are on fire now, and just swept the injury riddled Blue Jays. I think a lot of credit should go to their GM for giving them a solid bullpen this year. Oh wait their GM is Jim Duquette? The same guy that traded Kazmir for Victor Zambrano? OK disregard that credit.

~The Braves are back to their old methods of dominating the Mets at every turn. Should be an interesting year for the typical Braves Mets clashes.

~Why is Barry Bonds hitting a homer every day? Boo to that.

~Speaking of dominance, Rafael Nadal once again rolled Roger Federer on clay. It really is coming down to in order for Federer to win the French this or any year, he needs someone else to knock out Nadal, and considering Nadal has something like a 70 match winning streak on clay, that's probably really doubtful. Chalk up another French Open win for the Spaniard in the gay Capri pants.

~Chelsea sucked it up and drew at Newcastle yesterday, so they remain 3 point behind Man U. Boo to that.

~Man in baggy shorts jacks up dude in tight nut hugging shorts, and the world is a better place.

~Going into the weekend I told my buddy that I would actually be pleased if the Yankees took one of the games and lost the series. With the pitching matchups lined up Schilling, Beckett, Dice-K vs. Pettite, Karstens, Wright, asking for anything more than a single game would have been a bit stupid. But thanks to a combination of things they got swept, it that blew.

~Back to Back to Back to Back, is cool but it was against Chase Wright, a kid whose only started 4 games above Class A ball. I think Manny's ball hit the moon though.

~Here's the funny part about the Yankees, the middle relief are struggling because they are pitching every single game this season, especially Proctor and Vizcaino who are both a couple games into double digit appearances already. Meanwhile Mariano is struggling because he is never getting into any games because the games the Yankees have been winning have been complete blowouts. I mean giving up huge hits to Coco Crisp and Marco Scutaro in the same week, that's terrible.

~Meanwhile I understand that Wright got rocked for 4 straight homers, but your bullpen is dead, did you have to take him out immediately after the 3rd. Another 5 innings for the bullpen to burden, I'm sure they were pumped.

~How many times will Joe Torre have Andy Pettite's 'bullpen' session be an actual relief outing? This is already the second time he's done it this season. So basically Andy Pettite is tough enough to throw in game between starts meanwhile that sack of sh*t Carl Pavano is back on the DL with forearm stiffness. I think he should just get jumped on the streets, the guy is such a friggin wuss.

~Here's a question, if Philip Hughes is a top 2 pitching prospect in all of baseball, and the Yankees are completely depleted with injuries in their starting rotation why are they starting 3 guys that aren't nearly close to his minor league pedigree? Are they that protective of the kid? Do they feel that adamant about making sure that when he gets called up he stays up, to the point they don't mind getting rocked on a weekend series at Fenway? Seems pretty stupid to me.

~Niether Dice-K and Beckett were overly impressive this weekend when facing a good lineup. Count it up to nerves or the Yankees patience, but these guys looked great at the start of the season and gave up 6 and 5 runs respectively but both ended up with a W thanks to the fact they were facing Schmuck pitchers.

~On the other hand, the much maligned Red Sox bullpen was pretty much flawless and the other Japanese guy Okajima was a solid addition to the pen, despite the fact he was ineffective last night. And of course once again Papelbon looks unhittable in the 9th, moving him back to closer was a smart move, especially when in a few months Lester is back in the rotation.

~I love how they keep on saying the Yankees lineup has no holes, and then Will Nieves steps up to the plate because Posada isn't playing and they mention the fact he doesn't have a single hit yet this season. Not to mention the fact that hitting in front of him was Melky, hitting around the Mendoza line, and Dougy Minkowitz who's not so good. Right now the bottom 3 in the Yankees lineup is not so good. The Red Sox lineup yesterday was better than the Yankees lineup. Now with Matsui and Posada in the lineup the pendulum swings back to New York, but no holes, ha, I have as many hits as Nieves this year.

~A Rod went two games without hitting a homer and it's almost surprising.

~Does Manny have Cheetos in his hair?

~Why is JD Drew playing well? I think it's about time he gets injured.

~I wonder if Wily Mo has ever seen a pitch he didn't want to swing at, guy has no plate discipline.

~Varitek was on fire this weekend, hopefully he regresses back to what he was doing the first few weeks.

~Pedroia made the biggest play of the game yesterday, snuffing Phelps line drive in the 8th which would have tied the game.

~Colter Bean is not good at all. He has no idea what half of the plate his pitches are going end up.

~The Yanks need to answer next weekend at the stadium when they actually might have some favorable pitching matchups. Igawa(sat) Wang (Sun) and pick one Rasner or Wright friday against Dice-K (fri), Wakefield (sat), Tavarez (sun).

Whats more fun than a slash in the balls.

I wonder why they got completely blown out in the second half.

I'm feeling very lazy about analyzing every last one of these series for the first round so I just did a bracket. But I'll give a few quick thoughts.

Best Series: Heat vs. Bulls
Best Upset Chance: Nets
Easiest Series: Cavs vs. Wizards

Another year, another #1 rated quarterback flocks to USC. After the high school recruiting period where the Trojans unfortunately were not able to land the #1 Quarterback prospect in the country (Jimmy Clausen who's headed to ND) it did not take them long to grab another #1 rated QB. Mitch Mustain, the 2006 top recruit from Arkansas who stayed in state only to get ticked off by the fact that Arkansas was running the ball almost exclusively with McFadden and he was being benched for a stiff decided that he was going to transfer. Well yesterday, he chose USC, aka Quarterback U. My question is how in the world does Pete Carroll keep on bringing these guys in year after year even though they already have an established quarterback, a former #1 Quarterback himself. Let's take a look at the USC Quarterbacks both the past few seasons and currently on their roster.

Recent QB History of USC

Carson Palmer - 2002 Heisman Winner
Matt Leinart - 2004 Heisman Winner
John David Booty - #1 rated QB of 2003
Mark Sanchez - #1 rated QB of 2005
Aaron Corp - #3 rated QB of 2007
Mitch Mustain - #1 rated QB of 2006, won't be eligible this season.

How in the world does he get all of these guys? I understand Booty, he came out and didn't know Leinart was the guy and went to USC and was forced to redshirt before gaining the job last year. But starting with Sanchez, #1 QB in the country you join a team with a Heisman winner on the roster and a #1 QB in the country whose been soaking in the system for two years. This year Aaron Corp, #3 QB in the country, you're sitting behind two #1 QBs of the country, why not go to another university and start at minimum your sophomore year.

And Mustain, jeeze, #1 rated in the country could probably start in 2008 for any team in the country but USC who will almost certainly start Sanchez. I just don't get it. I understand that USC is obviously a fantastic gateway to the NFL, hell Matt Cassell got drafted and he didn't even play ever, but wouldn't you rather have a starting job on another team. Wouldn't you rather play? Mitch you have a very limited chance of starting in 2008 and unless Sanchez struggles, which no USC quarterback ever does, you doubtfully will start in 2009. So you're what hoping your much better than Aaron Corp so you can start for one year in 2010? Any other high profile team would have scooped you up in a second to start in 2008. Why USC? Pete Carroll is just amazing.

Or not...

It's all in the Sox.

Coach of the Year: Sam Mitchell

I bet there are a good portion of people who have no friggin idea who Sam Mitchell is what he looks like and would never recognize him walking down the street as Sam Mitchell even if he was wearing a t-shirt that said My Name is Sam Mitchell. Well Mitchell got the Raptors, yes the Raptors, the 3 seed in the east and a division crown. Sure its the worst division in the NBA, but somebody had to win it, and technically they aren't the worst division winner, even though the Heat have a worse record because of the obvious fact that Wade missed signifcant time.

2nd Place: Avery Johnson
3rd Place: Jeff Van Gundy

Sixth Man: Leandro Barbosa

Barbosa is the perfect sparkplug for the Suns, he is lightning fast, can shoot the three or drive the lane, is a scoring machine, can play sidekick to Nash or can take over with Nash on the bench. He's a pretty easy pick for sixth man.

2nd Place: Jarry Stackhouse
3rd Place: Manu Ginobli

Defensive Player: Bruce Bowen

The defensive player of the year is such a huge crapshoot for the NBA. I don't know if this is ever given out on the basis of anything other than reputation. I mean I'm just gonna give it to Bruce Bowen because of his reputation and because of his ability to guard just about anyone on the court with the exception of a center. He guards Dirk, Kobe, Nash, he guards the best player on the other team every night and the Spurs don't give up many points.

2nd Place: Marcus Camby
3rd Place: Shane Battier

Rookie of the Year: Brandon Roy

This is pretty much the easiest of all the choices, Brandon Roy after sitting out much of the start of the season came in and was the only consistant rookie in the NBA. He was an impact scorer and helped turn the Blazers into not the worst franchise in the country.

2nd Place: Andrea Bargnani
3rd Place: LaMarcus Aldridge

Most Improved Player: Al Jefferson

I might be a wee bit biased here, but Big Al emerged this season, especially the second half of the season as a dominant low post threat and was putting up very similar numbers to year in year out All-Stars like Elton Brand and a guy everyone considers great Dwight Howard. In fact Jefferson was so good this year that the Celtics had to sit him in order to tank their last two weeks of the season.

2nd Place: Kevin Martin
3rd Place: Monta Ellis

Most Valuable Player: Tracy McGrady

Everyone says this award comes down to Dirk and Nash this season, with a few whispers in the distance for Kobe, but I really think T-Mac should get consideration. The Rockets were brutal without him, 2-8. And unlike the Suns and Mavericks the Rockets had to deal without their second best player for 32 games in which T-Mac lead the team in just about everything to the tune of a 20-12 record. With both T-Mac and Yao in the lineup the Rockets were 30-9. Extrapolate that over the entire season and they are just as good as the Mavs the Suns and the Spurs. Without T-Mac the Rockets are just as lost as the Suns are without Nash, and with him a healthy roster they are just as good as the Suns. Who would you rather have as your 3rd best player, Shawn Marion or Shane Battier? Can it be argued that Amare is better than Yao? Sure.

So why no love for Dirk, he's not good in the closing seconds. T-Mac has dropped multiple triples in the last 20 seconds of a game, Dirk perpetually struggles and if Avery was smart would just continue feeding the ball to Jason Terry at the end of the game.

In the end I just wanted to go with someone a bit different and I think it could be argued that McGrady should be behind Nash and/or Nowitzki, but I think people are overlooking just how important he is to the Rockets. How bad were they last season when he missed games, they missed the playoffs.

2nd Place: Steve Nash
3rd Place: Dirk Nowitzki

Maybe that argument with the radio jock really rattled Charlie Manuels mind, maybe it were the facts that I brought up earlier today about how their bullpen is horrendous and Brett Myers has simply sucked it up his first three starts this season, but Charlie no brains has decided to screw over ever person that drafted Brett Myers expecting 200 Ks by... using him as the setup man? Are you kidding me Charlie? Your opening day starter sucks it up for three games and you bail on him that quickly? I wonder how that conversation went...

Chuckles: Hey Brett

Wife Beater: Hey Coach, whats up

Chuckles: You know how Ryan Madson is f'n awful and keeps losing games and is our '2nd best' guy in the pen, and we f'n suck.

Wife Beater: Um... Sure coach.

Chuckles: Well you know how you've been getting whiplash this season because you've been getting hit so hard.

Wife Beater: Well, coach, I

Chuckles: Ya well I want to limit the amount of whiplash you can get in one day. So your our new Set Up man. Feels good eh?

Wife Beater: [Mumbling] Great now I have to drop myself on my fantasy team, and pick up who, Jon Lieber... Ya that sounds like a brilliant idea. [Mumbling] How about if you get the MVP to get a friggin hit, maybe he could be the setup man. Grr.

...
I targeted Brett Myers in every draft I had, except someone jumped on him a round or two before I was going to. Thank the good lord. And better yet in my keeper league, he was a keeper, ha. Sucks for that guy.

The Tigers are beginning to immensely piss me off with their efforts of getting their best pitcher Jeremy Bonderman a friggin win, why because I have him in all three of my leagues. I'd be less upset if he wasn't pitching terrifically in every start, but he is and somehow someway the friggin Tiger's have botched it every single time.

Bonderman's Game Logs

6 IP, 3 Rs, 3 Ks - Gave up 3 in the first and bounced back to throw 5 strong, Tigers score 3 the entire game and the bullpen blows the tie for the opening day loss.

6 IP, 2 Rs, 8 Ks - Tigers score absolutely no runs until they shell Riske in the 9th for 3 runs and win 3-2.

9 IP, 1 R, 4 Ks - Tigers score one run the entire game against Halladay and the bullpen blows it in the 10th for a 2-1 loss.

7 IP, 1 R, 6 Ks - Todd Jones blows a 2 run lead in the 9th to the friggin Royals and they go and lose in extras.

So right now Bonderman's sitting with a 2.25 ERA, 4 Quality Starts, a WHIP of .857, and no friggin Ws. Meanwhile, Chase Friggin Wright picked up a win last night. Immensely annoying.

Nothing is bothering me lately more than this idiotic hammering home on the Mike and Mike show of their Greeny Rule and why you should reward winning. Well yesterday Dick Vitale, now a confirmed moron, wrote a column backing the rule and came on Mike and Mike to voice his opinion of switching around the lottery order. Now I've already hammered it home why I think the Greeny Rule is moronic, and why I think tanking gives us a fun extra storyline at the end of the year but I have another axe to grind with these clowns.

The keep on bringing up the point that these bad teams should be forced to go out in free agency and bring in players to improve their teams and that losing shouldn't reward them with the best chance of bringing in the next superstar. The problem with that whole philosophy is that teams almost never win without massive success in the draft. How many big time superstar free agents have their been in the past few seasons? How many teams ever win because of their free agent signings? Basically Nash has been the only legitimate free agent signing in the past 4 or 5 years, and he went to a team with Marion and Amare, not a team that stunk.

Past 21 NBA Champions The MVP

2006 Miami Heat - Dwayne Wade
2005 San Antonio Spurs - Tim Duncan
2004 Detroit Pistons - Chauncey Billups*
2003 San Antonio Spurs - Tim Duncan
2002 LA Lakers - Shaq*
2001 LA Lakers - Shaq*
2000 LA Lakers - Shaq*
1999 San Antonio Spurs - Tim Duncan
1998 Chicago Bulls - Michael Jordan
1997 Chicago Bulls - Michael Jordan
1996 Chicago Bulls - Michael Jordan
1995 Houston Rockets - Hakeem Olajuwan
1994 Houston Rockets - Hakeem Olajuwan
1993 Chicago Bulls - Michael Jordan
1992 Chicago Bulls - Michael Jordan
1991 Chicago Bulls - Michael Jordan
1990 Detroit Pistons - Isiah Thomas
1989 Detroit Pistons - Joe Dumars
1988 LA Lakers - James Worthy
1987 LA Lakers - Magic Johnson
1986 Boston Celtics - Larry Bird

4 of the past 21 champions in the NBA have won with a free agent as their most important player. 3 of which were Shaq on the Lakers. So in actuality only two franchises have won an NBA title in over 20 years because of a key free agent signing, it doesn't happen. The Pistons with all their signings and trades are the absolute exception to the rule, and their is always one exception to the rule. If you change the rules and bury a franchise like the Grizzlies into the ground they will never ever get out of it, and the Grizzlies aren't tanking (much) they just completely suck. You're asking the Grizzlies and other miserable teams to be the exception rather then giving them the real path to success, and it just won't happen.

~So the Red Sox are giving Dice-K the Pedro treatment, aka not scoring any runs for him. Pedro in his prime should have won 20 games every single season but didn't because the Red Sox for some reason seemingly shut down their potent offense when he took the mound, and thus far this season the Red Sox have done the same in 2 of the 3 Dice-K starts. Not saying that this pattern necessarily will continue, but he certainly has pitched very well. And it's not like the Red Sox should struggle to score runs against Gustavo Chacin, not like he's dominating at all.

~John Smoltz, Tom Glavine, and Greg Maddux all pitched yesterday, how weird is that.

~Has anyone in baseball this season been worse than Jorge Julio thus far this season? The Marlins desperate to pick up a closer sent a supposedly decent prospect to the D-Backs to get Julio to close. Within a week and a half Julio was bounced as the teams closer, sits on the roster at 0-2 with 2 blown saves. He's walked atleast one batter in every appearance, including a one inning outing where he walked 4 batters, including one with the bases loaded. His ERA currently sits at 19.06, ouch.

~At the opposite end of the spectrum how great of a start is Ian Kinsler on. While Arod is off to a fantastic start and is getting a lot of attention, not many people are saying anything about Kinsler who currently is hitting .360 and has 7 homers over the first 2 1/2 weeks of action. I targeted Kinsler when I made my draft rankings for second baseman, and in one of my 3 leagues I got him, and am very pleased. In my keeper league he was actually protected, which was pretty surprising but so far it looks like a pretty darn good decision.

~Wow the Phillies are pretty terrible right now. Not one their 2,3,4 hitters Victorino, Utley and Howard is hitting above .250 and combined they have 3 homeruns. Their opening day starter, Brett Myers, has more runs allowed than innings pitched, and lets just say their bullpen has been less than stellar. It's a sad thing when Pat Burrell has been your second best player thus far this season.

~Had my first triple save night last night which is stellar. Basically in my keeper league everyone has 3 closers on their roster, if you have a night where you get a save from each it's a pretty solid night. I went 3 for 3 with Hoffman, Reyes (who's been great so far) and the newly picked up Jason Frasor (dumped Julio thank the lord).

It's a sad day for Americans after such a senseless, senseless act. My best friend went to VaTech and is completely dedicated to Hokie nation and absolutely loved his time in Blacksburg and is a bit shaken. There's a good chance that I myself during the time I visited him stepped foot in that building myself as he had classes in the building throughout his college career and I spent a few hours in some computer labs around campus while he was in class.

I understand the back tracking and saying that the police should have implored the president to shutdown campus but I think everything is monday morning quarterbacking, there's no history of this type of event ever. Nothing like this has ever happened, I'm sure the cops and the VaTech officials looked at everything and made what they thought was the best decision and that there was no threat to anyone outside the dorm. Unfortunately they were wrong, but there is absolutely no reason to put any of the blame on the president or the campus police, they did not contribute to this horrible event, stop making them out as horrible people, I'm sure they are torturing themselves enough. VaTech campus is enormous, it's a mini city, tracking down a single individual whether or not that had an accurate description would be almost impossible.

And the fact that his creative writing was a bit disturbing, again that doesn't lead people to feel that anyone is capable of murdering 32 people in cold blood, it just doesn't.

There's nothing that can be said or done to ensure that a vicious, messed up person, won't do this, it's just the world we live in unfortunately, so let's all hope and pray that people like this in the future reach out for help before something like this happens again.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all the families that must deal with the senseless loss of a son, daughter, father, mother or sibling.

With the major problems that have cropped up this season due to the weather (snow & massive rain) and extreme cold of this month of April there are a few simple steps to ease the pain of future months like this. I understand that the scheduling is very complex, especially considering the Mets, Yanks, Cubs, White Sox are never in town on the same day, and other problems but I think the major leagues should try to set some standards in the month of April in the future.

1) Obviously try to get as many games in at places that are either in warm weather or under a dome. This ensures that their won't be any snow outs or the even more ridiculous cold outs. Half the teams inthe AL fit the mold and almost half the teams in the NL fit the mold, these teams should have more home than road games the first month every year.

AL Dome Teams - Toronto, Tampa, Minnesota, Chicago, Seattle
AL Warm Weather Teams - LAA, Texas

NL Dome Teams - Milwaukee, Arizona, Houston
NL Warm Weather Teams - Atlanta, Florida, San Diego, LAD

San Fran and Oakland are not warm weather, but do not otften have snow or incredibly frigid cold.

2) Do not schedule a teams lone trip to an opponent in April. The Mariners were making one lone trip to Cleveland this year, all snowed out. There is plenty of time to schedule teams road trips in the last 5 months of the season, by scheduling them in the most dangerous month of the year you are taking a severe risk.

3) Schedule close to 2/3 of the games in April as divisional games. When Divisional games get snowed or rained out it's not nearly as big a deal. Each divsional team will make another two trips to their opponent, scheduling double headers later in the season or increasing a series by a game is not that big a deal, attempting to find a time when the Giants can play in Pittsburgh a big deal. Teams in cold weather parks should almost exclusively play divisional opponents the opening month.

Just taking these 3 simple steps should curtail many of the problems baseball will face the remainder of the season when attempting to make up all the canceled games.

Even though he just might in fact qualify as the ugliest referee on the face of the planet.

Not sure if I believe this whole video footage, if it is real these guys have way way too much time on their hands...

~The wearing of the #42 jersey was pretty cool throughout the league, and I decided to browse a list of who wore the number. Turns out only two white players in the entire league chose to where the number, that being Jim Thome and Grady Sizemore. I don't know if I would have worn it if I was in the big leagues, but I'm surprised only two guys chose to wear the number and both of them just happened to be studs.

~It is pretty amazing how little Pub Larry Doby gets for being the second black man in baseball, the first in the AL, only two months later than Jackie Robinson. I'm not diminishing Robinson's role in American history, but Larry Doby had to go through much of the same racism and hit cities that Robinson hadn't been to yet. His role is only a notch below that of Jackie's and I'd be willing to bet that out of all the people that know the name Jackie Robinson, only about a 1/4 maximum have heard the name Larry Doby.

~Sorry BJ, but I just picked up Jason Fraser your closer replacement, so I hope when they come down with the news of your elbow later today its not good.

~Carl Pavano is still a massive wuss and is going to join Wang and Mussina on the DL. Now the Yanks have a rotation of Pettite, Igawa, and three complete unknowns, gonna be a rough few weeks.

~Mariano gets dumped on on his first save opportunity, not very good.

~The Diamondbacks are 9-4???

~All the rainouts yesterday were pretty lame, especially for the Giants and Pirates who lost a double header and are now in a similar spot as the Indians and Mariners were with their snowout. Good thing for the Pirates and Giants both of them suck, so making up the games won't be necessary.

So it's officially done the Celtics have finalized their tank job after their loss on friday night to the Milwaukee Bucks to clinch the 2nd worst record in the NBA. And Ryan Gomes let the not so secret tanking scheme out of the bag:

"I probably (would have played), but since we were in the hunt for a high draft pick, of course things are different," Gomes said. "I understand that. Hopefully things get better. Now that we clinched at least having the second-most balls in the lottery, the last t