1. "So Mike, just to let you know I'm going to try to keep my job so you're gonna get 40 carries a game."2. "Nothing like facing Joe Pa to make me look less senile."
3. "Thank the good lord, back to the Big 10 where we don't believe in having athletic quarterbacks that can torch our defense."
1. "I was going to propose two weeks ago after we beat Southern Florida, but we lost..."2. "I was definitely going to propose last week after Miss St. but we lost."
3. "I thought about not proposing today because of that hideous dress but I have no idea when we will win another home game, so will you marry me."
1. "I'd like to thank Jesus for giving me legs. Without them none of this would be possible."2. "I'd like to thank Jesus for allowing the Washington Huskies to be coached by Tyrone Willingham thus allowing me to run this kick back and praise Jesus."
3. "If Jesus really loved me I'd be playing at USC."
1. "Who took a dump on my head?"2. "The black patch makes me look like a wildcat in the safari."
3. "I know I didn't play this weekend but it was Charlston Southern, can we just say I threw for 450 and 5 tds for my Heisman campaign?"
1. "Ooh Donna save it for later..."2. "Your so much more handsome than Dumbo Larry."
3. "Actually our Defensive Tackles like Old Woman more than I do."
1. "I can't see that far, but did both of our defenders just fall down yet again?"2. "That was tough, or not."
3. "I won't even have to wash my uniform after the game."
1. "Must we play in the Big 10? How about a few more games against Northeastern."2. "If I recover this fumble maybe we will lose by less than 80."
3. "Atleast this is less embarrassing than losing to Duke."
1. "No sh*t. We actually can score offensive touchdowns. Who knew."2. "Touchdown Jesus lives..."
3. [Photo Actually Taken from 2005 season]
1. "This is how you toe touch boys."2. "I stomp on your stupid Stanford education."
3. "You see the seem work on the groin of these pants. Ya Nike knows how to make those Asians work."
1. "We just saved your job for another day."2. "Can we bring back Patrino?"
3. "So much for the Heisman."
The End
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