SimonOnSports

After todays trade, Eric Hinske will have made stops with the Blue Jays, Red Sox, Rays, Yankees and Pirates [ick]. The next logical stop is quite obviously Baltimore to lock up 5 for 5 in the AL East.

I listen to New York's Major Sports talk radio stations daily and each and every time I am amazed by the delusional Met fans that call up the station complaining about how their team isn't winning and how they're falling out of the race. To which the obvious response is, "What the hell did you think was going to happen when half your team got injured?", yet everyday there's still a new caller spitting out the same garbage. Please just take a look at the blatant facts. Currently the Mets are without Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran and Carlos Delgado, effectively 3 of the 4 major pieces of their lineup. In 2007 these 3 players combined for 71 of the Mets 172 Homers, 81 of the Mets 138 Steals, 315 of the Mets 799 Runs scored, and 295 of the Mets 755 RBI. Currently these players are being replaced in the lineup by Jeremy Reed who has 11 career homers with zero coming this season, Daniel Murphy who's hitting a robust .246 in his "breakout" season, and Ale...

This picture was just too good to not turn into its own pose. Its the patented Hansbrough "Nothing Is Going On Inside this Brain" look and this was at his press conference nonetheless.

The Draft has come and gone so now its time for teams to attempt to pawn off tickets on their fans by packaging them with "prize packs". Let's look at some of the great bargains you can get for the low price of thousands of dollars and 41 games to a team that likely is going to still suck despite the draft pick. You Get Clippers Season Tickets and a Bag of Clippers Poo You Get Pacers Season Tickets and Get to Touch Hansbrough You Get Bobcats Season Tickets and You Get a Signed Ball By a Duke Douchebag You Get 5 Nets Tickets and You Get a T-shirt of Their 3rd String Swingman

What Sport is a series of posts dedicated to figuring out what sport a certain fictional character would play. Today's topic is the Noid. Don't remember the Noid? Here's a refresher: Description: The Noid was the annoying Pizza Crushing Bunny Rabbit thing invented by Domino's Pizza for their commercials in the 1980s. He went on to "star" in the epic video game Yo! Noid. He's basically a foot and a half rabbit gnome thing that likes to jump a lot. The Options: Um at under 2 feet tall, the Noid's options are limited. You pretty much can throw out all the major sports. Plus he probably weighs nothing, so he likely doesn't even fit into a weight class for boxing or MMA or lifting. You're likely going to have to look towards serious niche sports if you can find anything at all. Competitive Jump Rope: Competetive jump rope just might be the ideal sport for The Noid. He jumps a lot, he looks relatively quick. Plus his small height makes it in...

No not really, just his shirt the Weis Guys at Sportscrack is. Must not be a hot seller. Also Super Mario Manningham's shirt now has a pot induced discount.

Well not really the pain train, but he was pretty close to kneeing her in the face which would have made for an ever more extreme video. Courtesy of Hot Clicks

Here's your 2009 NBA Mock Draft, which was built according to my deviously brilliant calculation methods. Or by looking at experts mock drafts and changing things based on my random and likely incorrect personal opinions. I'd explain the picks but, eh I don't feel like it. Just know my brilliance when I win the XBOX and NBA Live Game .

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below. ANSWERS

Congratulations goes to Danny Ferry this morning for trading absolutely nothing for Shaq . Absolutely positively nothing. Let's go over the three main reasons why this deal makes sense. 1. Getting Shaq Improves Their Team in 2009. I don't think this really makes the Cavs immeasurably better than they were yesterday, but the fact is that they just got Shaq and gave up two players who aren't very good and a 2nd round draft pick that would likely amount to a player who winds up in the D League. Is Shaq the one missing piece Cleveland needed? Probably not. But in the end nothing about this doesn't make sense because even if the experiment fails miserably, than you still have point #2. 2. Getting Shaq Does Nothing Negative to Their Cap Space in 2010 When I talked about Lebron's needs earlier this year , I mentioned the fact that right now the Cavs are on pace to be incredibly cap open in 2010. The only three players that will be on their books in the offseason will...

Dear MLB GMs, I'm on the block. If you need an Ace pitcher, please call Josh Byrnes and let him know that Dan Haren told you to call because he's sick of the shit that plays around him on a nightly basis. Just in case you need to see my resume, it's right here. Oh look, I'm basically the National league leader in every major pitching stat, except wins of course, because my team sucks. Hence my desire to pitch for a team that doesn't suck. If you're curious as to how many wins I should have, well its 12. I've outlined the 6 games this year in which I've given up at most 2 runs yet not once in those games walked away with a win. Four of the 6 games I actually walked away with a loss. Alright, I'm pissed and I don't really feel like talking about it anymore. Just someone please save me. Thanks, Dan Haren

In fairness to all those douche Red Sox fans out there, if I'm gonna chronicle David Ortiz's Quest for the Mendoza Line , than I should give equal ground to Alex Rodriguez's quest. He's at .207 now with an average that's just gone down down down during the month of June.

I've mentioned this once already , but does this draft just feel like one of those drafts that is filled with mediocre players? First off basically everybody that's going to get drafted in the lottery is ridiculously young, so chances are good that you've barely seen any of them play much. Secondly, if you have, I doubt you came away terribly impressed. Let's do a run down of each player in the top 30 and give my impressions of each. 1. Blake Griffin - He's far and away the best player in the draft, but A) He's going to be a Clipper and B) Does he have a mid range jumper? He's athletic as hell and will be good, but the Karl Malone comparisons are a bit much. How about somewhere in between Karl Malone and Carlos Boozer? Sound good? 2. Ricky Rubio - Raise your hand if you've seen Rubio play? [My hand is down]. The scouting reports say "Great Passer, Needs to Add Bulk, Not Incredibly Athletic, Not the Best Shooter, Defense is Good". 18 Year old u...

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below. ANSWERS

The Minnesota Timberwolves decided to morph their team into the High School project by trading Mike Miller and Randy Foye for the 5th pick in Thursdays draft as well as Darius Songaila, Oleksiy Pecherov, and Etan Thomas. The trade now gives the Timberwolves the 5th, 6th, 18th and 28th pick in the draft. The rumors of Mike Miller be dealt by the Timberwolves have been floating around for as long as he's been a member of the team but I'm pretty damn surprised that they dealt away Randy Foye. Foye is just 25 years old, he did average 16 points last year and the Timberwolves did trade Brandon Roy for him on draft day. I would think that the Timberwolves could have done better than a #5 pick and 3 useless players for two solid NBA guys. The Timberwolves apparently desire to move up to the #2 pick in the draft, but even if they draft #5 & #6, that's two picks that they hope will have a major impact. Throw in the fact that now the best players on their roster are all 26 or un...

Hey, if you're the one who stole my laptop, can you come here so I can kick you in the nuts. Thanks...

This is a quicky, but assuming you understand what BABIP is, if you don't go here , you need to see David Wright's ridiculous BABIP. .467? Damn is that ridiculous. For some reason, I feel as if that .349 batting average is bound to take a dip soon enough.

Below are the stats of two individuals. See if you can figure out who they are. I'll list off a few helpful hints and then post the answer in the comments. 1. Players A is an outfielder while Player B is a third baseman. 2. The players play in opposite leagues. 3. Both Players are perennial all stars. 4. Player A's statline is close to expected while Player B's is a little out of the ordinary. 5. Player B has a BABIP of .467. 6. One player is a leadoff man while the other is a middle of the order hitter. 7. Neither player plays for a team who would currently qualify for the playoffs. 8. Player A and Player B play on opposite coasts. 9. Player A is in his mid 30s, Player B is in his late 20s. 10. Player A is Asian

Honestly is there anything more enjoyable than this whole Magglio Ordonez getting benched scenario. First off Ordonez has been absolute shit. He's hitting like a whimpy shortstop. The .273 average with a .347 OBP is catastrophic, but the .343 slugging percentage is hilariously inept. So him getting benched isn't completely ludicrous. Mr. Ortiz got benched earlier in the year for similar numbers and he's a Boston hero. The hilarious part is obviously the vested options in his contract. His option is for 18 million dollars in 2010 and are based on the combination of his 2008 and 2009 total numbers . In 08 and 09 combined, Magglio needed to combine for 270 games started or 1080 at bats. In 2008 he had 614 at bats in 142 games played, meaning he needs just 464 at bats in 2009. Currently Magglio has 241 at bats, putting him just 223 at bats away or around 60 games away. So who has the biggest problem with the benching? Scott Boras of course. He thinks the Tigers are benching Mag...

Below there are 14 Pictures of NBA Players in their Draft Day Suits. How well can you identify the high flyers? If you get stumped you can opt for help by either going here for 14 clues or here for the list of the 14 players so you can play fill in the blanks. When you're done or have given up, here are the answers . 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. Answers Try Out Other Trivia Fat Football Coaches Silhouettes Lefty Hitters Silhouettes To The Rack Silhouettes The Ladies of Jeter Bodies of the WTA SI Swimsuit Models And More

On saturday I went for a voyage into the city of Boston to place myself in a building where 300+ beers were at my disposal. It's safe to say that this was a no brainer decision for myself and that I was not disappointed. The American Craft Beer Fest as it was called had a total of 75 different Brewers, mostly New England based, and 300 plus beers to choose from . When you walk in after you've dropped your $40 bucks you get a little glass, probably around 4 oz or so. You then walk from booth to booth as they fill up your cup and you guzzle down one after the other (they're supposed to give you 2 oz but they certainly don't). That's pretty much all you do for 3 1/2 hours. Drink beer. Delicious beer. IPAs, Stouts, Ales, Lagers. Whatever you desire, its there. So what I'm saying is, if a Beer Fest comes to your town, Go. It won't be a bad decision.

Need some Jet apparel on the cheap? Well the New York Jets online shop has just the thing for you, the Favre Fan Packs , in honor of our dearly departed hero Brett Favre. Why buy one authentic New York Jet jersey for $220 when you can get 3 BRETT FAVRE!*&^%! jerseys for the same price. Want your baby to look stupid? You can get all three infant jerseys for just 30$, that's a $120 dollar value for just $30 dollars. You're pracitcally stealing the shit. Do you desperately need a T-Shirt that says "Brett the Jet"? Of Course you do. But why stop there. You can get 2, count it 2 t-shirts for $15 dollars. How can you possibly pass up that bargain? They really should just send all this crap to Nicaragua.

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below. ANSWERS

Are vertical stripes supposed to be slimming? I'm not sure it's working for Phil Mickelson. Especially today's white with brown stripe concoction. At least yesterday he looked like a 1920s Italian Mobster.

Unlike Ricky Barnes , I have actually heard of Lucas Glover before. But really the only reason I have is thanks to my addiction to ESPN Best Ball Challenge which was unceremoniously dumped this year. Regardless of my knowledge, I'm willing to bet you have no idea who Lucas Glover is so I'll give you a little run down to help prep you for this mornings action. Lucas Glover was a 2-time 1st team all American at the University of Clemson which afforded him a spot on the Walker Cup team. For those of you who don't know what the Walker Cup is, it's essentially the Ryder Cup for college kids. The two yeas following college he played on the Nationwide Tour before earning his PGA Card for the 2004 season. Since 2004 Glover has been on the PGA Tour. His results have been enough to keep him on the tour, but not enough to gain him any notoriety to the masses. He has 1 win since 2004, this coming in 2005 at the FUNAI Classic at Disney. He has made the cut of a major just 4 ti...

I like to think of myself as having a wealth of knowledge in all sports. I feel as if you throw a golfers name out there and I could likely say, "Yup I've heard of him" and in most cases be able to pick the player out of a lineup. But on saturday when I turned on the US Open and saw "-8 Ricky Barnes" at the top of the leaderboard, I immediately thought to myself, "Umm who the hell is Ricky Barnes?". Thinking back on it, I've probably heard the name floated around before, but I 100% would not have been able to pick him out of a lineup. But since he's still tied for the lead going into the "final day" of the US Open, I figure it's time we all get to know Ricky Barnes and his goofy hats. Barnes won the US Amateur in 2002, which is the only real reason you may have heard of him. He beat Hunter Mahan in the finals and in 2003 he went on to play in the three majors the US Amateur Championship affords a player. He finished 21st in th...

Let's watch the not web gems of the season, featuring Luis Castillo & Milton Bradley of course.

Watching the US Open at Bethpage is quite enjoyable. You get to watch players like Padraig Harrington look mortal by shooting +6 over par and scrambling everytime he hits the ball into the rough. You get to watch 40 people search for an arrant tee shot because the rough is so long that there's no way 1 person would be able to find the ball. And then you think, I'm an ok golfer, I shoot in the 90s. What the hell would I shoot if I played Bethpage in the conditions they are now. At first I said 125. You figure the Par 4s that are 500+ yards you are completely screwed. If I sting my drive the best I can, I can maybe hit it 270. On the largest par 4 that would mean I would need to sting my 3 wood off the fairway 250 yards and somehow softly land it on the green. HA. In my dreams. So that's pretty much automatically a bogey at best. Than you have to think about what happens when you hit the ball in the rough. The rough would easily go past my knees. So if I wasn'...

sports_blogosphere_trivia Check Out Some More SimonOnSports Trivia The Ladies of Jeter Bodies of the WTA Name That Bobblehead PGA Golf Wife Trivia Cheerleader PhotoHunt Extravaganza And More...

This past November the Yankees sold Darrell Rasner to the Tohoku Rakuten Golden Eagles of the Nippon Professional League in Japan. Now just months later, he is no longer Darrell Rasner, he is the RAZUNA! Unfortunately for the RAZUNA and the Golden Eagles, Rasner has sucked. Now I'm translating the stats via google translate, but it appears as if the Razuna has pitched 10 games is 3-4 with a 6.62 ERA and is averaging barely over 5 innings per start. Not exactly dominating the competition. I guess to his credit he's at least been better than Wang.

Do you know Jered Weaver's stats this season? Be honest, do you have any idea how good Jered Weaver has been this season? I'm guessing not, but I'm not going to blame you. I watch Sportscenter on a daily basis and really haven't seen any features or much talk about him period. Maybe it's because he plays on the West Coast. Maybe it's because the Angels haven't performed at quite the levels that they were expected to thus far this season. Whatever the reason, I'm not going to blame you, I'm just going to inform you that you should know. Jered Weaver is currently second in MLB in ERA at 2.08. Weaver is #1 in MLB in WHIP at 1.00. Weaver is #1 in batting average against at .203. Weaver's record sits at 7-2 in part due to some games where he had poor run support and suffered a no decision. At this point in time the only thing really seperating his stats from Greinke's who we all fell in love with last month are Greinke's superior K rat...

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below. ANSWERS

Given my affinity for Big Al, I figured I'd talk about the rumor being tossed out that the Timberwolves were going to be jettisoning him and the #6 pick for Amar'e Stoudemire. Simply put it makes no sense. Before we discuss, let me just display their 08-09 stats. First off let's just put it out their simply, Big Al had better stats than Stoudemire did. Now you can qualify it two ways, Stoudemire had Shaq and Big Al didn't so obviously his rebounds and shot totals are going to be down from what the Timberwolves leaned on Big Al to do. But you can also say that Amar'e's percentages are greatly enhanced by the easy buckets that having an elite point guard like Steve Nash can get you. Both suck at defense so really, it looks like Big Al probably had a better season. Now to the off the court matters. Big Al is signed to a long term deal through 12/13 while Stoudemire can opt out of his deal following next year. Given that Minnesota isn't exactly the big t...