After todays trade, Eric Hinske will have made stops with the Blue Jays, Red Sox, Rays, Yankees and Pirates [ick]. The next logical stop is quite obviously Baltimore to lock up 5 for 5 in the AL East.

I listen to New York's Major Sports talk radio stations daily and each and every time I am amazed by the delusional Met fans that call up the station complaining about how their team isn't winning and how they're falling out of the race. To which the obvious response is, "What the hell did you think was going to happen when half your team got injured?", yet everyday there's still a new caller spitting out the same garbage. Please just take a look at the blatant facts.

Currently the Mets are without Jose Reyes, Carlos Beltran and Carlos Delgado, effectively 3 of the 4 major pieces of their lineup. In 2007 these 3 players combined for 71 of the Mets 172 Homers, 81 of the Mets 138 Steals, 315 of the Mets 799 Runs scored, and 295 of the Mets 755 RBI. Currently these players are being replaced in the lineup by Jeremy Reed who has 11 career homers with zero coming this season, Daniel Murphy who's hitting a robust .246 in his "breakout" season, and Alex Cora a perennial utility man with no power.

Now for good measure lets toss in the pitching injuries. John Mayne and Oliver Perez were supposed to combine with Mike Pelfrey to formulate the 2-3-4 spots in the rotation. Instead, Oliver Perez blew up and has been on the DL for months and a few weeks ago Mr. Mayne joined him. Last season the two combined for 58 starts and 20 Mets 89 wins, they combined for 302 of the Mets 1181 strikeouts, and if you take out Santana's stats from the equation they pitched superior to the average Met in their 334 IP. These two are being replaced by a guy cut by the Astros in Fernando Nieve and a guy cut by a multitude of teams Tim Redding. On top of all that JJ Putz was brought in to be the setup guy and for awhile he was doing the job, but like Mayne he fell to injuries and now the ripple effect of the Mets bullpen is taking place.

If you had to pick the 10 key components to a succesful Mets season these 6 players along with Wright, K-Rod, Santana and Pelfrey would accumulate this top ten. 60% of Mets key players are injured and yet their delusional fan base still expects them to win. It's time for a reality check.

This picture was just too good to not turn into its own pose. Its the patented Hansbrough "Nothing Is Going On Inside this Brain" look and this was at his press conference nonetheless.

The Draft has come and gone so now its time for teams to attempt to pawn off tickets on their fans by packaging them with "prize packs". Let's look at some of the great bargains you can get for the low price of thousands of dollars and 41 games to a team that likely is going to still suck despite the draft pick.

What Sport is a series of posts dedicated to figuring out what sport a certain fictional character would play. Today's topic is the Noid. Don't remember the Noid? Here's a refresher:



Description: The Noid was the annoying Pizza Crushing Bunny Rabbit thing invented by Domino's Pizza for their commercials in the 1980s. He went on to "star" in the epic video game Yo! Noid. He's basically a foot and a half rabbit gnome thing that likes to jump a lot.

The Options: Um at under 2 feet tall, the Noid's options are limited. You pretty much can throw out all the major sports. Plus he probably weighs nothing, so he likely doesn't even fit into a weight class for boxing or MMA or lifting. You're likely going to have to look towards serious niche sports if you can find anything at all.

Competitive Jump Rope: Competetive jump rope just might be the ideal sport for The Noid. He jumps a lot, he looks relatively quick. Plus his small height makes it increedibly easy for the guys twirling the jump rope to swing it in a circle.

Spelling Bee: Is the Spelling Bee a sport? No. But at least you don't need to be tall or athletic or strong to compete in it. I doubt the Noid can spell at all though so this probably isn't the go to option.

Hide and Go Seek: At 2 feet tall and skinny the Noid should be able to find really excellent hiding places for any circumstance. The problem is that Hide and Go Seek really isn't a sport either.

The Verdict: Competetive Jump Roping, honestly its the only option. Sorry Noid.



Disagree? Feel Free to Blast Away in the Comments.

No not really, just his shirt the Weis Guys at Sportscrack is. Must not be a hot seller.


Also Super Mario Manningham's shirt now has a pot induced discount.

Well not really the pain train, but he was pretty close to kneeing her in the face which would have made for an ever more extreme video.

Courtesy of Hot Clicks

Here's your 2009 NBA Mock Draft, which was built according to my deviously brilliant calculation methods. Or by looking at experts mock drafts and changing things based on my random and likely incorrect personal opinions.


I'd explain the picks but, eh I don't feel like it. Just know my brilliance when I win the XBOX and NBA Live Game.

Congratulations goes to Danny Ferry this morning for trading absolutely nothing for Shaq. Absolutely positively nothing. Let's go over the three main reasons why this deal makes sense.

1. Getting Shaq Improves Their Team in 2009.

I don't think this really makes the Cavs immeasurably better than they were yesterday, but the fact is that they just got Shaq and gave up two players who aren't very good and a 2nd round draft pick that would likely amount to a player who winds up in the D League. Is Shaq the one missing piece Cleveland needed? Probably not. But in the end nothing about this doesn't make sense because even if the experiment fails miserably, than you still have point #2.

2. Getting Shaq Does Nothing Negative to Their Cap Space in 2010

When I talked about Lebron's needs earlier this year, I mentioned the fact that right now the Cavs are on pace to be incredibly cap open in 2010. The only three players that will be on their books in the offseason will be Mo Williams, Delonte West and Booby Gibson thus giving the Cavs the chance to sign Lebron James and two studs. Now with Shaq in the fold and coming off the books after this season, theoretically, the Cavs could sign two major free agents, say Joe Johnson and Chris Bosh, and then sign Shaq and Lebron afterwards to jump over the cap thanks to the NBAs weird cap rules.

3. Most Importantly This Will Make Lebron Happy

The key part of the Cavs future is making damn sure that LBJ goes no where in 2010, so to do that they need to make him happy. Getting Shaq shows Lebron that they are putting forth the effort to improve the team. Even if it doesn't morph into a Championship it gives LBJ the thought process that the Cavs are willing to make major maneuvers to put him in a better place. This can only help in convincing him to stay in Cleveland and to sell Cleveland to other free agent superstars in next years offseason.

All in all, I love this move for Cleveland. Even if next years team again comes up short for the title, it can only help their ability to keep LBJ come 2010, and that's the goal.

Dear MLB GMs,

I'm on the block. If you need an Ace pitcher, please call Josh Byrnes and let him know that Dan Haren told you to call because he's sick of the shit that plays around him on a nightly basis. Just in case you need to see my resume, it's right here.

Oh look, I'm basically the National league leader in every major pitching stat, except wins of course, because my team sucks. Hence my desire to pitch for a team that doesn't suck.

If you're curious as to how many wins I should have, well its 12. I've outlined the 6 games this year in which I've given up at most 2 runs yet not once in those games walked away with a win. Four of the 6 games I actually walked away with a loss.


Alright, I'm pissed and I don't really feel like talking about it anymore. Just someone please save me.

Thanks,
Dan Haren

In fairness to all those douche Red Sox fans out there, if I'm gonna chronicle David Ortiz's Quest for the Mendoza Line, than I should give equal ground to Alex Rodriguez's quest. He's at .207 now with an average that's just gone down down down during the month of June.

I've mentioned this once already, but does this draft just feel like one of those drafts that is filled with mediocre players? First off basically everybody that's going to get drafted in the lottery is ridiculously young, so chances are good that you've barely seen any of them play much. Secondly, if you have, I doubt you came away terribly impressed.

Let's do a run down of each player in the top 30 and give my impressions of each.

1. Blake Griffin - He's far and away the best player in the draft, but A) He's going to be a Clipper and B) Does he have a mid range jumper? He's athletic as hell and will be good, but the Karl Malone comparisons are a bit much. How about somewhere in between Karl Malone and Carlos Boozer? Sound good?

2. Ricky Rubio - Raise your hand if you've seen Rubio play? [My hand is down]. The scouting reports say "Great Passer, Needs to Add Bulk, Not Incredibly Athletic, Not the Best Shooter, Defense is Good". 18 Year old upside is nice, but nobody seems to say this guy is gonna drop 20+ a game. So, not really screaming out #2 overall pick to me.

3. Hasheem Thabeet - Upside is Dikembe Mutombo right? All defense no offense, no touch, no hands. The one benefit for Thabeet is his free throw is smooth so maybe, and this is a big maybe, he can develop a Yao / Brad Miller like 15 footer to spread out the defense.

4. Tyreke Evans - Outside of Griffin, I think I like Tyreke the best but he still has major question marks like, "Can He Shoot?" and "What Position is He Going to Play?". He has an NBA body and NBA athleticism, but those question marks could be the red flag for bust city.

5. James Harden - He's been a consistent producer at Arizona St., but my lasting memories all point towards his NCAA tournament No Shows. He's a big time college scorer but so were guys like Jarvis Hayes and Reece Gaines and well they amounted to nothing.

6. Stephen Curry - The Upside is Reggie Miller. The downside is a guy too fragile to play a full season in the NBA. If you could guarantee him to be a Rip Hamilton / Reggie Miller type than its obvious, but his arms are the size of quarters.

7. Jordan Hill - He's mobile big and athletic. Those are fun. His offensive game is speculative and ESPN compares him to Ronnie Turiaf. That's a top 10 pick?

8. Brandon Jennings - Another point guard who's not a very good shooter, YAY! Jennings is T.J. Ford, this does not excite me.

9. DeMar DeRozan - Big, Athletic, Swingman with a questionable defensive effort, questionable basketball IQ, and questionable shooting. And he averaged 14 points a game for USC as a freshman. Does that sound NBA ready to you?

10. Jrue Holliday - Oh look, another point guard that can't shoot. Holliday shot .307 percent from 3 his freshman year and averaged under 9 points and under 4 assists. Yay lottery pick project.

11. Johnny Flynn - At least we know Flynn can carry a team and win big games. But wouldn't you know that we still don't know if he can shoot a jump shot. We also don't know if he get finish at 6-1 in the paint against an NBA defense.

12. Earl Clark - Did anybody see anything about Earl Clark in college that screamed this guys gonna be a star in the NBA? No? That's what I thought.

13. Terrence Williams - And we move to Clark's partner in crime, Terrence Williams, who coincidentally left the exact same feeling as Clark did.

14. DeJuan Blair - I loved Blair in college and obviously loved what he did against Thabeet and his hands around the rim. But is he gonna be an All-Star or a Craig Smith level player?

15. Gerald Henderson - Again, I don't think I even saw flashes where Gerald Henderson screamed NBA All Star. Plus, he's a Dukie so he inspires hate and hate alone.

I could go on down the list some more, but to be honest, who cares about guys outside the lottery.

Can you find a single player outside Griffin who you would bet the farm on that they were going to morph into a multiple year all star? I certainly wouldn't be able to lock that up.

The Minnesota Timberwolves decided to morph their team into the High School project by trading Mike Miller and Randy Foye for the 5th pick in Thursdays draft as well as Darius Songaila, Oleksiy Pecherov, and Etan Thomas. The trade now gives the Timberwolves the 5th, 6th, 18th and 28th pick in the draft.

The rumors of Mike Miller be dealt by the Timberwolves have been floating around for as long as he's been a member of the team but I'm pretty damn surprised that they dealt away Randy Foye. Foye is just 25 years old, he did average 16 points last year and the Timberwolves did trade Brandon Roy for him on draft day. I would think that the Timberwolves could have done better than a #5 pick and 3 useless players for two solid NBA guys.

The Timberwolves apparently desire to move up to the #2 pick in the draft, but even if they draft #5 & #6, that's two picks that they hope will have a major impact. Throw in the fact that now the best players on their roster are all 26 or under and you have a major youth movement. The core of their team is now Big Al, Ryan Gomes, Corey Brewer, Kevin Love, Craig Smith and Sebastian Telfair. I'd imagine that they are going to target a point guard because having Bassy run your team doesn't seem like a sound decision. It also makes sense to get some kind of scoring 2 guard threat considering they just traded away both of those options.

In the end I agree with the straight youth movement. I'm just not sure I understand the need to jettison Foye.

Hey, if you're the one who stole my laptop, can you come here so I can kick you in the nuts. Thanks...

This is a quicky, but assuming you understand what BABIP is, if you don't go here, you need to see David Wright's ridiculous BABIP.


.467? Damn is that ridiculous. For some reason, I feel as if that .349 batting average is bound to take a dip soon enough.

Below are the stats of two individuals. See if you can figure out who they are. I'll list off a few helpful hints and then post the answer in the comments.


1. Players A is an outfielder while Player B is a third baseman.

2. The players play in opposite leagues.

3. Both Players are perennial all stars.

4. Player A's statline is close to expected while Player B's is a little out of the ordinary.

5. Player B has a BABIP of .467.

6. One player is a leadoff man while the other is a middle of the order hitter.

7. Neither player plays for a team who would currently qualify for the playoffs.

8. Player A and Player B play on opposite coasts.

9. Player A is in his mid 30s, Player B is in his late 20s.

10. Player A is Asian

Honestly is there anything more enjoyable than this whole Magglio Ordonez getting benched scenario. First off Ordonez has been absolute shit. He's hitting like a whimpy shortstop. The .273 average with a .347 OBP is catastrophic, but the .343 slugging percentage is hilariously inept. So him getting benched isn't completely ludicrous. Mr. Ortiz got benched earlier in the year for similar numbers and he's a Boston hero.

The hilarious part is obviously the vested options in his contract. His option is for 18 million dollars in 2010 and are based on the combination of his 2008 and 2009 total numbers. In 08 and 09 combined, Magglio needed to combine for 270 games started or 1080 at bats. In 2008 he had 614 at bats in 142 games played, meaning he needs just 464 at bats in 2009. Currently Magglio has 241 at bats, putting him just 223 at bats away or around 60 games away.

So who has the biggest problem with the benching? Scott Boras of course. He thinks the Tigers are benching Magglio strictly because of money. And why wouldn't he really? Even though Magglio has been shit, his backups are Marcus Thames, Clete Thomas and Brian Anderson, not exactly Murderer's Row. Regardless, I don't think there's anything Boras can do about it. His player hasn't produced, and thus his team is going to do what it can to free themselves from a miserable contract in 2010 and 2011. That's just how the cookie crumbles.

My favorite line was when someone compared his hitting to Rey Ordonez, now that's an insult. To Magglio's credit, he may be hitting like a bitch, but his .347 OBP and .343 SLG% are still better than any of Rey Rey's career highs in a full season.

Below there are 14 Pictures of NBA Players in their Draft Day Suits. How well can you identify the high flyers? If you get stumped you can opt for help by either going here for 14 clues or here for the list of the 14 players so you can play fill in the blanks. When you're done or have given up, here are the answers.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14.

On saturday I went for a voyage into the city of Boston to place myself in a building where 300+ beers were at my disposal. It's safe to say that this was a no brainer decision for myself and that I was not disappointed.

The American Craft Beer Fest as it was called had a total of 75 different Brewers, mostly New England based, and 300 plus beers to choose from. When you walk in after you've dropped your $40 bucks you get a little glass, probably around 4 oz or so. You then walk from booth to booth as they fill up your cup and you guzzle down one after the other (they're supposed to give you 2 oz but they certainly don't). That's pretty much all you do for 3 1/2 hours. Drink beer. Delicious beer. IPAs, Stouts, Ales, Lagers. Whatever you desire, its there.

So what I'm saying is, if a Beer Fest comes to your town, Go. It won't be a bad decision.

Need some Jet apparel on the cheap? Well the New York Jets online shop has just the thing for you, the Favre Fan Packs, in honor of our dearly departed hero Brett Favre. Why buy one authentic New York Jet jersey for $220 when you can get 3 BRETT FAVRE!*&^%! jerseys for the same price.

Want your baby to look stupid? You can get all three infant jerseys for just 30$, that's a $120 dollar value for just $30 dollars. You're pracitcally stealing the shit.

Do you desperately need a T-Shirt that says "Brett the Jet"? Of Course you do. But why stop there. You can get 2, count it 2 t-shirts for $15 dollars. How can you possibly pass up that bargain?


They really should just send all this crap to Nicaragua.

Are vertical stripes supposed to be slimming? I'm not sure it's working for Phil Mickelson. Especially today's white with brown stripe concoction. At least yesterday he looked like a 1920s Italian Mobster.

Unlike Ricky Barnes, I have actually heard of Lucas Glover before. But really the only reason I have is thanks to my addiction to ESPN Best Ball Challenge which was unceremoniously dumped this year. Regardless of my knowledge, I'm willing to bet you have no idea who Lucas Glover is so I'll give you a little run down to help prep you for this mornings action.

Lucas Glover was a 2-time 1st team all American at the University of Clemson which afforded him a spot on the Walker Cup team. For those of you who don't know what the Walker Cup is, it's essentially the Ryder Cup for college kids. The two yeas following college he played on the Nationwide Tour before earning his PGA Card for the 2004 season.

Since 2004 Glover has been on the PGA Tour. His results have been enough to keep him on the tour, but not enough to gain him any notoriety to the masses. He has 1 win since 2004, this coming in 2005 at the FUNAI Classic at Disney. He has made the cut of a major just 4 times in his career with his best finish being T20 at the 2007 Masters. 2009 is actually the first time in four attempts that Glover has made the cut of the US Open.

In his career Glover's best finish on the money list came in 2006 when he was 21st. Other notable moments for Glover came in 2007 when he was a member of the winning US President's Cup team. This season he has 2 Top-3 finishes, one coming at the Buick Invitational and the other coming at the Quail Hollow Championship.

Likely, none of these moments are enough to imbed the name Lucas Glover into the skulls of the casual golf fan. But today just might be that day. Like Ricky Barnes, Glover has no experience in this moment. He could easily choke. But with a 5 stroke lead, he's got the margin for error, and he definitely has the potential to be US Open Champion.

I like to think of myself as having a wealth of knowledge in all sports. I feel as if you throw a golfers name out there and I could likely say, "Yup I've heard of him" and in most cases be able to pick the player out of a lineup. But on saturday when I turned on the US Open and saw "-8 Ricky Barnes" at the top of the leaderboard, I immediately thought to myself, "Umm who the hell is Ricky Barnes?".

Thinking back on it, I've probably heard the name floated around before, but I 100% would not have been able to pick him out of a lineup. But since he's still tied for the lead going into the "final day" of the US Open, I figure it's time we all get to know Ricky Barnes and his goofy hats.

Barnes won the US Amateur in 2002, which is the only real reason you may have heard of him. He beat Hunter Mahan in the finals and in 2003 he went on to play in the three majors the US Amateur Championship affords a player. He finished 21st in the Masters that year for his best Major finish of his career. He followed that up by making the cut at the US Open and missing the cut at the British Open.

And since 2003, well there's not much to talk about. This is only his 2nd Major appearance since he missed the cut at the British. The only other Major he made was the US Open in 2007 when he missed the cut. Additionally, his PGA resume is almost non-existant as well. Since 2003 he's bounced mostly through the Nationwide Tour, which unless you work for the Golf Channel I'm going to guarantee you don't pay attention to. Even this year, a year he's on the PGA Tour, his best finish at any event is 47th.

Perhaps the 2009 US Open will be his reintroduction to the world. In 2002 he obviously was amongst the most talented youngsters on the planet. Today we find out if his gritt and his gut will be able to hold on to the US Open lead and afford him the resume of a two time USGA Trophy Holder.

Let's watch the not web gems of the season, featuring Luis Castillo & Milton Bradley of course.

Watching the US Open at Bethpage is quite enjoyable. You get to watch players like Padraig Harrington look mortal by shooting +6 over par and scrambling everytime he hits the ball into the rough. You get to watch 40 people search for an arrant tee shot because the rough is so long that there's no way 1 person would be able to find the ball. And then you think, I'm an ok golfer, I shoot in the 90s. What the hell would I shoot if I played Bethpage in the conditions they are now.

At first I said 125. You figure the Par 4s that are 500+ yards you are completely screwed. If I sting my drive the best I can, I can maybe hit it 270. On the largest par 4 that would mean I would need to sting my 3 wood off the fairway 250 yards and somehow softly land it on the green. HA. In my dreams. So that's pretty much automatically a bogey at best.

Than you have to think about what happens when you hit the ball in the rough. The rough would easily go past my knees. So if I wasn't playing with a gallery I would likely just give up trying to find the ball every time I hit it there, but lets assume for arguments sake I could in fact find every ball. How far do you think you could actually hit the ball from the rough? 50 yards? Maybe? My drives are at best 50% of the time in the fairway, and that's at more generous fairways than the US Open.

And of course you also have the Par 3s that are 220+ yards. I'd likely be hitting a 5 wood into these holes and my 5-wood isn't much more accurate than my driver. In fact it might be a little worse.

Essentially I figure add 1 stroke per hole before we even start talking. So for me it would be like a Par 90. And then I'd shoot 35 over par. I think that's about right.

So how do you think you would shoot?

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This past November the Yankees sold Darrell Rasner to the Tohoku Rakuten Golden Eagles of the Nippon Professional League in Japan. Now just months later, he is no longer Darrell Rasner, he is the RAZUNA!


Unfortunately for the RAZUNA and the Golden Eagles, Rasner has sucked. Now I'm translating the stats via google translate, but it appears as if the Razuna has pitched 10 games is 3-4 with a 6.62 ERA and is averaging barely over 5 innings per start. Not exactly dominating the competition. I guess to his credit he's at least been better than Wang.

Do you know Jered Weaver's stats this season? Be honest, do you have any idea how good Jered Weaver has been this season? I'm guessing not, but I'm not going to blame you. I watch Sportscenter on a daily basis and really haven't seen any features or much talk about him period. Maybe it's because he plays on the West Coast. Maybe it's because the Angels haven't performed at quite the levels that they were expected to thus far this season. Whatever the reason, I'm not going to blame you, I'm just going to inform you that you should know.

Jered Weaver is currently second in MLB in ERA at 2.08. Weaver is #1 in MLB in WHIP at 1.00. Weaver is #1 in batting average against at .203. Weaver's record sits at 7-2 in part due to some games where he had poor run support and suffered a no decision. At this point in time the only thing really seperating his stats from Greinke's who we all fell in love with last month are Greinke's superior K rates (he has close to 30 more).

Weaver is on fire now and emerging as a legitimate Cy Young contender and I figured that he deserved at least 1 person to talk about him.

Given my affinity for Big Al, I figured I'd talk about the rumor being tossed out that the Timberwolves were going to be jettisoning him and the #6 pick for Amar'e Stoudemire. Simply put it makes no sense. Before we discuss, let me just display their 08-09 stats.


First off let's just put it out their simply, Big Al had better stats than Stoudemire did. Now you can qualify it two ways, Stoudemire had Shaq and Big Al didn't so obviously his rebounds and shot totals are going to be down from what the Timberwolves leaned on Big Al to do. But you can also say that Amar'e's percentages are greatly enhanced by the easy buckets that having an elite point guard like Steve Nash can get you. Both suck at defense so really, it looks like Big Al probably had a better season.

Now to the off the court matters. Big Al is signed to a long term deal through 12/13 while Stoudemire can opt out of his deal following next year. Given that Minnesota isn't exactly the big time hot spot to attract free agents, why exactly would they want someone off the books next year when they have a building block currently in place.

Next is the age factor. Big Al is 2 years plus change younger than Amar'e. Neither is out of their prime or anything, but this is just another factor in Big Al's advantage especially given the fact that he's improved his scoring in each of his 5 years.

Health is currently in Amar'e's favor given that Big Al is recovering from a torn ACL, but in reality Stoudemire has been plagued by injuries his entire career and did have the microfracture surgery a few years back. This can't be that major of a factor, especially given the fact that the Timberwolves wouldn't exactly morph into a title contender if they picked up Amar'e for next season.

Lastly and most importantly, this entire post has been debating whether trading Big Al for Amar'e straight up makes any sense. Why the hell would the Timberwolves give up on their best player and the #6 draft pick for a guy that's set to be a free agent after this season? This makes absolutely positively no sense.

Before we start this debate let me throw out an equation for you.

And so we come to real life situations. Yesterday, Donte Stallworth thanks to many different factors was sentenced to just 30 days of jail time for his DUI manslaughter charges. There were plenty of extenuating circumstances from him being over the limit by say a drink, to the person he hit being drunk and walking across the street not in a cross walk. Additionally, he called the police immediately, fessed up guilt immediately, let them take the breath test without issue, and has owned up to the entire. And of course most importantly he gave the family an "Undisclosed Amount of Money." But the facts remain, because of Stallworth's poor decision a person is dead, and his punishment is loss of cash, a month in prison and some probation. Considering the drunk walkers punishment was death, I feel as if Stallworth is getting off quite easily.

On the opposite end of the spectrum there is Plaxico Burress, still awaiting his trial. Plaxico went out to the club illegally carrying his fire arm in New York City. Considering we have never heard of any incidents where Plaxico has gotten in a gun fight, I'm guessing that he had no intention of actually firing said gun, just like Stallworth obviously had no intent of running someone over. Plaxico's gun accidentally fired and shot him in the leg, this would be equivalent to Stallworth driving his car into a tree, not a person. Now if Plaxico's gun went off, shot someone in the head and killed them than the situations would be nearly identical, but that didn't happen, no one was hurt but Plaxico.

Granted Plaxico didn't handle the situation with the grace and admittance that Stallworth did, but its quite obvious that the gravity of both situations aren't in the same ball park. In one scenario one person hurt just himself, in other someone is dead. And yet there still are teetering opinions on whether Plaxico will be forced to serve a jail time, especially with Mayor Bloomburg calling for ZERO special treatment. The last thing I want is for Plaxico Burress, who seems like one of the largest douchebags on the planet, to get any kind of special treatment but if Stallworth can go to jail for a single month after killing someone Plaxico shouldn't even be within 5 miles of a jail cell.

I thought the video wasn't that funny until they busted out the phrase, "Shawn was only 17 Years Old So We Never Got to Bread Her." Now that's classic.

Courtesy of the Onion via Fanhouse

You're gonna be in attendance for the entire 1st and 2nd round at Bethpage. So you obviously need to know who to follow.

The Top Ten Groups You Want to Watch

1. 8:06 a.m. Padraig Harrington, Angel Cabrera, Tiger Woods - Oh Tiger Woods is in the most intersting pairing, way to go out on a limb there.

2. 1:25 p.m. Sergio Garcia, Camilo Villegas, Adam Scott - You have three players who are amongst the best in the world without a major, yet all three could easily be trainwrecks and out before the weekend. If I was at the tournament this is likely the group I'd follow.

3. 1:36 p.m. Retief Goosen, Ernie Els, Phil Mickelson - You know you want to watch Phil.

4. 7:55 a.m. Geoff Ogilvy, Jim Furyk, Paul Casey - Any of these three golfers could hold up the trophy on Sunday.

5. 7:55 a.m. Ian Poulter, Justin Leonard, Robert Allenby - Come on, you know I'm basically just interested in Poulter's outfits.

6. 1:36 p.m. Rocco Mediate, Kenny Perry, Tom Lehman - It's the Old Men group. What are the Vegas Odds that they all miss the cut? Rocco and Kenny haven't missed the cut yet this year, so good right? I'd throw down 2 bucks.

7. 7:44 a.m. Henrik Stenson, Andrew Svoboda, Steve Stricker - Henrik is one of those under the radar studs and Mr. Stricker finished 3rd at Bethpage in 2002.

8. 1:03 p.m. David Duval, David Toms, Darren Clarke, Northern Ireland - It's always entertaining to see whether David Duval is a trainwreck or not.

9. 1:14 p.m. Anthony Kim, Rory McIlroy, Dustin Johnson - The Young upcoming American vs. the young upcoming Brit + Dustin Johnson. It'll be interesting how these two interact with each other come their opening 2 rounds.

10. 1:58 p.m. Mike Weir, Stephen Ames, Stewart Cink - Oh Canada, that's all I know.

The Next 10 Intriguing Pairings

11. 7:33 a.m. Rory Sabbatini, Martin Kaymer, Ryuji Imada - If Only because I desire Rory to miss the cut, even if he is wearing .

12. 8:06 a.m. Luke Donald, Clinton Jensen, Tim Clark - Luke Donald is again going to be top 3 in a major sometime soon.

13. 1:47 p.m. Justin Rose, Sean O'Hair, Ross Fisher - O'Hair finished top 10 at the Masters, I have an inkling his name will be somewhere noticeable on the leaderboard on Sunday.

14. 1:47 p.m. Stuart Appleby, Fred Funk, Todd Hamilton - We want the Funk, gotta have that Funk.

15. 7:44 a.m. Vijay Singh, Jeev Milkha Singh, K.J. Choi - TEAM ASIA

16. 8:28 a.m. Lee Westwood, Zach Johnson, David Erdy - Lee Westwood always seems like a better Ryder Cup player than an actual tournament player. Maybe he makes a name for himself.

17. 8:28 a.m. Michael Campbell, Boo Weekley, Rod Pampling - It's always fun to cheer for the beer swigging big hick Boo Weekley.

18. 8:17 a.m. Andres Romero, Eduardo Romero, Miguel Angel Jimenez - Its the "We all Speak Spanish group."

19. 7:33 a.m. Ben Curtis, Graeme McDowell, Chad Campbell - Three solid golfers. Whoopy.

20. 18. 1:58 p.m. Hunter Mahan, Oliver Wilson, Brandt Snedeker - Another threesome of decent golfers. Not much to see here.

Groups With A Guy Or Two You Know But Don't Really Care About
7 a.m. A-Rickie Fowler, Casey Wittenberg, Bo Van Pelt
7:22 a.m. Heath Slocum, Charlie Wi, Richard Bland
8:17 a.m. Ryan Moore, Ben Crane, Eric Axley
8:39 a.m. Bubba Watson, Johan Edfors, John Merrick,
8:39 a.m. Kevin Sutherland, Scott Lewis, Ken Duke
12:52 p.m. J.J. Henry, Gonzalo Fernandez-Castano, Briny Baird
12:52 p.m. Carl Pettersson, Azuma Yano, Charl Schwartzel
1:03 p.m. A-Kyle Stanley, Lucas Glover, D.J. Trahan
1:14 p.m. J.B. Holmes, Alvaro Quiros, Nick Watney
1:25 p.m. Soren Kjeldsen, Soren Hansen, Peter Hanson, Sweden
2:09 p.m. Billy Mayfair, Matthew Kuchar, Ricky Barnes,
2:20 p.m. Andrew McLardy, Chris Stroud, Brian Gay

Groups With No One You've Ever Heard Of
7:11 a.m. A-Drew Weaver, Angelo Que, Simon Khan
7:22 a.m. David Horsey, John Mallinger, Jose Manuel Lara
7 a.m. J.P. Hayes, Greg Kraft, Jeff Brehaut
7:11 a.m. A-Drew Kittleson, Sangmoon Bae, Michael Sim,
8:50 a.m. Francesco Molinari, George McNeill, Simon Dyson
9:01 a.m. A-Cameron Tringale, Sean Farren, Andrew Parr
9:12 a.m. A-Vaughn Snyder, Ryan Spears, Michael Miles
8:50 a.m. A-Bronson Burgoon, Craig Bowden, Chris Kirk
9:01 a.m. A-Ben Martin, Josh McCumber, Kevin Silva
9:12 a.m. A-Josh Brock, Trevor Murphy, Nathan Tyler
12:30 p.m. Matthew Bettencourt, James Kamte, Kaname Yokoo, Japan
12:41 p.m. A-Nick Taylor, Scott Gutschewski, Gary Woodland, Topeka, KS
12:30 p.m. James Nitties, Peter Tomasulo, Martin Laird
12:41 p.m. David Smail, Cameron Beckman, Steve Allan
2:09 p.m. Thomas Levet, Jean-Francois Lucquin, Raphael Jacquelin, France
2:31 p.m. A-Clark Klaasen, Colby Beckstrom, Cameron Yancey
2:42 p.m. A-Kyle Peterman, Michael Welch, Cortland Lowe
2:31 p.m. A-Tyson Alexander, Charlie Beljan, Ryan Blaum
2:42 p.m. A-Matt Nagy, Shawn Stefani, Douglas Batty
2:20 p.m. Darron Stiles, Shintaro Kai, Matthew Jones

It's the US Open at Bethpage Black. Do you know what that means? It means bogeys and lots of them. The last time the US Open was held at Bethpage only one player, Tigger Woo, finished under par and only one player, The Titties, finished at even par

4 People to Watch to Contend

Obvious is Obvious- Tigger Woo - Picking Tiger to win is chalklity chalk goodness, so I'm going to avoid that. His case is obvious. He's the best player in the world still. He's the defending US Open Champion. He's won the previous US Open held at Bethpage Black. He just won his last tournament in come back fashion. And well his in contention every tournament.

From Poop to Promiseland - Sergio Garcia - Senor Sergio has been terrible this year. He's currently ranked #120. He has yet to record a top 10 finish and only has one top 20 finish. Plus his track record in the US Open isn't that stellar. But his track record at Bethpage in the one tournament held on the course is there. He finished 4th back in 2002, so perhaps this is the time for Sergio to make a run at the trophy? Probably not.

The Slightly Off His Rocker Brit - Ian Poulter - I think he might be slightly nuts, but he did play well at both the Masters and the TPC this year. The US Open is a different monster, but with the right set of pants worn, Poulter will be in contention again.

There is No Darkhorse - Padraig Harrington - I usually go with a Darkhorse in each of these columns, but I can't convince myself to pick any darkhorse for this tournament. Why? Look at the 2002 leaderboard. It's big time names, and Paddy finished in the top 10 then when he wasn't a huge name player. He's gonna be in the running.

3 People Who Might Surpisingly Miss the Cut

The Young American - Anthony Kim - Kim burst on the scene last year with a terrific summer and a solid Ryder Cup. This year he's been a bit more mediocre, especially when it comes to recent events. In his past 5 tournaments he's missed the cut twice and hasn't finished above 40th. Not quite the momentum to bring into Bethpage.

The Aussie - Adam Scott - If you've been paying attention than you're probably saying, umm if Adam Scott makes the cut it will be surprising. The former "next big thing", has been brutal this year. In his last 8 events his missed the cut 7 times. I repeat missed the cut 7 times. The one time he actually made the cut he finished 66th.

The Dick - Rory Sabbatini - Screw Rory Sabbatini.

2 People to Root For this Weekend

The Great Hat - Shingo Katayama - I <3 Shingo and his hat. Noooooo, Shingo withdrew due to back problems. Sad Face.

The Qualifiers - You have no idea who any of these guys are. They're the club pros who had a few things swing their way during qualifying and now have the chance to produce their very own version of Tin Cup. You can't help but hope that some guy out of nowhere winds up with a 2 stroke lead on Sunday looking at Tiger and Titties in the rearview mirror.

1 Winner

The Titties- Do I really think this is going to be right? No. But I'm picking the Titties for 2 reasons. First of all, it would easily be the best story if the Titties won while his wife was undergoing procedures to deal with her recently diagnosed Breast Cancer. Secondly, I really want to get my Callaway Driver for free.

Check Out the Answers

Check Out More SimonOnSports Trivia

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you.

Eric Chavez has landed on the DL once again and requires back surgery which could be career ending. So what the heck happenned to the superstar that the A's decided to keep over any of the Big 3, Tejada or Giambi. Was juice involved?

Explaining It Away
Well it's pretty simple to explain away Eric Chavez's numbers. Just look at his averages over his career, they don't really change. Sure his power was death last year and his numbers abysmal this season, but he was playing with a back injury that obviously required surgery. Looking at the numbers it just seems obvious, that the man was clean.

The Verdict
The only claim you can make against Chavez would be that he's become incredibly injury prone since the start of testing and that he playted with some noted juicers in Giambi and others. But that is so incredibly circumstancial that it wouldn't even remotely be fair. So...

No Juice Involved...

Last night the Cleveland Indians honered the 20th anniversary of the movie Major League by both playing like the squad from the movie and be making it Rick Vaughn Bobblehead night. How money is that thing? Someone get me that, I need it on my desk. [Beckett Blog]

Do you like buttox? Do you enjoy streakers? Than You'll like this. [NSFW]

So how exactly does that statement makie sense? Meet the case of Giuseppe Rossi. Giuseppe was born in Teaneck New Jersey and raised in nearby Clifton. His parents were teachers in Clifton up until the time Giuseppe showed promise in the game of soccer and was reruited by the Italian club Parma. At age 13 Rossi and his father moved to Italy to help groom him as a soccer player. At some point in time during his life in Italy, Rossi decided that he would rather play for the Italian National team than the US Team, and so he has. Rossi has played for the Italian U-16, U-21, Olympic and now senior squad. And this brings us to yesterday, which he said he was extremely excited about.

"That's the country where I was born, and that's the country where I have my family and friends," Rossi said of the U.S. "It's going to be a great game to watch, and for me to play against them is always something special." ESPN

And play he did. As a second half substitute, Rossi scored the equalizing goal from long distance. Than in injury time Rossi blasted home a cross from Andrea Pirlo to throw the dagger in the heart of his birth country.

If the US can't even keep some of their best citizens on their own roster, than how exactly do they ever expect to break into the elites of the soccer world?

Look at this assembly of Los Angeles Lakers players that all now have more rings than Sir Charles. Let's take a look from top down.

Trevor Ariza - The man was a New York Knick for a season and a half before he was one of the main components in the Knicks trade for Steve Francis and Penny, arguably the worst decision the Knicks ever made. Now he's the defensive stopper on a Championship team?

DJ Mbenga - I'm pretty sure this dude was cut by the Warriors last year. Now he has more rings than Reggie Miller.

Shannon Brown - Kid's been in the league 3 years and the Lakers are his 5th team.

Adam Morrison - This one's my favorite. Look at him wearing his championship t-shirt as if he contributed at all. Wow that's just great.

Jordan Farmar - Mr. Farmar scored a total of 2 points in all of the Lakers finals wins combined. Now he's got as many championships as Jerry West.

Luke Walton - 1/5th the talent as his father and now just 1/2 the rings.

Lamar Odom - If there's one player on the Lakers that's been the most brutally criticized, its been Lamar Odom. Now he's got as many rings as Clyde Drexler and he's going to make bank on the free agent market.

Outside of the already noted David Ortiz struggles, there has been on thing If anything this season that has held the Red Sox back this year, mediocre starting pitching. The current rotation of Beckett, Lester, Wakefield, Dice-K and Penny contain absolutely no one with an ERA below 4. If these pitcher were throwing to their capabilities all season long they would be way more than 2 games up, but things appear to be turning the corner for the Sox both in starts from their elite pitchers and the depth that's coming.

First off Lester's ERA of 4.76 is UGLY, especially for a pitcher who posted a 3.21 ERA last year. For Lester the tide is turning however. In each of Lester's past three starts he's given up just 1 earned run and struck out at least 11 in each game.

For Josh Beckett, if you take out his last start in Philly where he blew up late in the game, the man has been a monster for over a month. In his four starts prior to the Philly game Beckett gave up just a single run. The Philly game was likely just a blip on the radar, and Beckett will return to dominating in his next start.

For the other three guys currently in the rotation two are struggling and one kind of is what he is. Nonbody is struggling more than Dice-K. In 7 starts this season Dice-K is posting an ERA over 7 and has yet to pitch 6 complete innings. He's almost been as bad as Chien-Ming Wang. Penny has posted 5.32 ERA this season which was helped by 6 shutout innings against the Yankees. One would imagine that with no real loyalty to Penny the Red Sox are going to shop him to the highest bidder. For Wakefield, he is going to eat innings and likely post an ERA in the mid 4s, that's pretty much what he is and its to be expected.

The scary part is what is coming. At any point in time the Red Sox could just replace one of their struggling starters with all star level talent. John Smoltz is ready to make his Red Sox debut. The man posted a 3.11 ERA last year for the Braves in 32 starts. If he's completely healthy there's no reason to think he's going to do anything but dominate.

The final piece of the puzzle is Clay Buchholz who has been amongst if not the best pitcher in the minor leagues this season. Buchholz is 4-0 with a 1.75 ERA and .82 WHIP. The kid who two years ago pitched a No-No in the bigs is absolutely ready to return.

All in all the Red Sox have 7 extremely viable starting pitchers right now which means that if someone struggles they can just stop throwing them. Additionally they have plenty of pieces to make a trade if they desire to find an extra bat or make a move due to injury. If Smoltz comes back fully healthy and is the #3 guy in a playoff rotation, that would be frightening. The Red Sox right now just might be the favorite for the World Series title.

Outside of all the victories against the Red Sox, Watching Luis Castillo drop a simple pop up to lose Friday nights game was the most enjoyable moment of the 2009 baseball season. At the time I was sitting in a bar surrounded by a large crowd of both Met fans and Yankee fans. You could tell that both fans were at a near panic level given their failures against their arch-rivals earlier in the week. So as the ball was popped up, courtesy of Alex Rodriguez pulling his normal 9th in routine by choking under pressure, you could hear the sighs from the Yankee fans and the jubilation and hollering from the Mets fans. It was incredibly deflating.

But then Luis Castillo happened. He misjudged where the ball was going to land and had to float across right field to get under the ball. And when the ball hit his glove, popped onto the ground, with a little help from Luis's right hand being nowhere near his glove, the mood in the room immediately switched. Shock settled in on the Met fans as they watched Castillo pick up the ball and gently toss it to 2nd base. Meanwhile the Yankee fans were jumping up and down and laughing as Teixeira somehow lumbered around the base paths to score the winning run.

Thank You Luis, for making my friday night.

Last night with a 3-1 lead heading into the 8th inning Joe Girardi sent CC Sabathia back to the hill to finish off the bridge to Mariano and why wouldn't he have. CC had just given up 3 hits through 7 innings and his only blemish was the home run to David Ortiz which came back in the 2nd inning. Additionally he had just rolled through the bottom of the order in the 7th and looked like he was in the groove. Eventually though the world tumbled down on Joe's shoulders, the Yankees sit at 0-8 against the Red Sox, and this loss is completely a result of Girardi's inability to sense when his ace was done.

With Nick Green coming up to start off the 8th inning it was essential for CC to get out the leadoff man. Sabathia eventually worked the count in his favor and looking for a strikeout threw an offspeed pitch to Green. He hung it right over the heart of the plate and Green roped a line drive to left field. Ok, I guess you could shake that one off, one bad pitch, go get Pedroia. With Pedroia it was simply a matter of him completely wearing out Sabathia. CC had Pedroia at 2-2 for what seemed like an eternity, trying to throw balls past the little shit and watching him foul off ball after ball. The entire at bat it was evident that Sabathia just couldn't quite locate his pitches, probably because he was nearing 120 total. So Sabathia winds up walking Pedroia, he's gassed, time to use the bullpen right? Nope, let's let him pitch to Drew because it's lefty lefty. It took the gassed Sabathia just two pitches to hang a breaking ball and watch Drew whiz a liner by his head. At some point in time the manager needs to have a better feel of when his ace is done and have the ability to take him out, this isn't the first time he's done this to CC this season and it likely won't be the last.

Than to top it all off Girardi was unable to pull the trigger on bringing in Mariano even though he had him getting loose. Here's a quick question Joe might want to ask himself next time, whats a more important situation, protecting a 1 run lead with 2 runners on in the 8th inning and the heart of the order coming up or not pitching in the 9th inning? That was the game, you bring in your best bullpen arm there whether its a save situation or not, being tentative and set in your ways of Mo as the 9th inning guy cost you the game. I'm not even saying Mo gets the job done, his track record against the Sox has been spotty, but you have to go with your best in that spot and your best is not Aceves.

The majority of the naysayers of the World Baseball Classic always harp on the fact that pitchers aren't ready for action that early. They say things along the lines of "These guys are gonna get injured" or "These guys aren't getting their work in" or something else along those lines. So why not check in with these pitchers and see if the naysayers have a point.


The list above consists of those designated complete poop. All of these guys have performed well below expectations and not surprisingly they have been more injury prone. Dice-K, Putz, Ollie P, Dumbassho, and Carlos Silva have all spent time on the DL. Both Jason Grilli and Javier Lopez were so bad that they were designated for assignment by their clubs. The vast majority of the players on the list are relievers and the starters on the list, other than Dice-K, aren't particularly studs anyway.


The bad includes those that have performed below expectations. Most of these aren't ludicrously bad but you certainly would hope for more. Jake Peavy and Roy Oswalt, the two American Aces, have both performed below expectations thus far, but for Oswalt he started off the 08 campaign similarly poor.


The above list basically describes people that are pitching close to expected. There really isn't too many of these guys and you could argue that Marmol belongs in The Bad because his expectations were so sky high.


Finally we get to the second largest list which comprises of the players who are exceeding expectations. Many a reliever are exceeding expectations while the only a few starters sneak in. Arguably the three most dominant closers of 2009 all participated in the WBC and a youngster like Johnny Cueto is now emerging as a potential ace while Felix Hernandez is showing absolutely no ill effects from the extra intensity in March.

The Conclusion
Through two months I would likely say that there's little to no evidence that the WBC has any major effect on a pitcher during that season. The results are spread relatively evenly from one performance level to the other. Some players got injured but not at any alarming rate and a few marginal players were released.

Last night the Yankees were dependent on their former ace to bounce back, find his old form. Sitting at 0-6 on the season versus their rival they were hoping to avoid further embarrassment, to restablish their division lead and mostly to reestablish a pitcher their hoping will return to be double digit game winner. All of this hope was shattered, and shattered quickly.

Instead of regaining form, Chien-Ming Wang was his typical miserable 2009 self. He gave up hit after hit and even threw in some walks for good measure. He lasted just 2 and 2/3s innings giving up 4 runs via 6 hits and 3 walks. The 2009 Wang has been so bad that giving up 4 runs in 2.2 innings actually lowered his ERA.

The Yankees valiently fought back later in the game against the Red Sox bullpen, but the damage had already been done, and the Red Sox and their fans are laughing and loving every minute of their 7-0 record versus the arch-rival.

For Wang this makes it back to back poor starts after his return to the rotation. How much patience can the Yankees have with their former ace, especially with Phil Hughes waiting in the wings? How long can you deal with a 14+ ERA and Zero Quality Starts?

What Sport is a series of posts dedicated to figuring out what sport a certain fictional character would play. Today's topic is Sonic the Hedgehog.

Description: Sonic the Hedgehog is a little animal who for some reason is fast as hell. How little is Sonic? He's listed at 39 inches, so much like Mega Man the Tall Guy sports are out. But unlike Mega Man, Sonic isn't really that tough, it just takes two hits in a row to knock him out for the count so the physical sports might take a hit as well.

The Options: Sonic is just too short and small to play any of the physical sports or tall guy sports so football, rugby, hockey, bball and vball are out. He also doesn't have the wingspan to generate speed for a "Swing" sport, so tennis, golf, and baseball are out. So what the hell is left? Track obviously, but that's a boring answer and is running really a sport? So I guess its time to focus on sports with little physical contact where speed is key.

Soccer: We're back to the Lionel Messi point of short guys being good at soccer, but it really just takes a couple of body blows to knock Sonic out. Plus he's so small and so fast his teammates would likely never be able to see him to pass the ball. Sure he might be able to dribble around everyone but this doesn't seem ideal.

Ultimate Frisbee: It's like football with little to no contact. The problem with this sport is that while speed will get you open to catch the frisbee, in many cases jump catches are needed and given the fact Sonic is just 39 inches, he won't be able to take it away from the trees.

Capture the Flag: Sure this sport is really only used in camps for little kids but god damn this is the ideal sport for Sonic. He's so small that opponents would have nearly an impossible time seeing him enter their zone and he's so fast that he could easily meander his way back with the opponents flag and take home the trophy every time.

The Verdict: Capture the Flag, this was a no brainer.

Disagree? Feel Free to Blast Away in the Comments.

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you.

Remember when Eric Gagne came out of nowhere to become the best closer in baseball during the steroid era and then all of a sudden morphed into a mostly useless pitcher during the testing era. I wonder why?

Explaining It Away
Explaining away Gagne's stats is very very simple, they correlated exactly with his movement from the starting rotation to the bullpen. In the starting rotation he was pretty much a below average pitcher, but in the bullpen he was able to amp up his stuff for that one inning a night and be done. The fall off could be explained away with all the injuries that he experienced in the middle 00s.

The Verdict
Eric Gagne's case is an interesting one. His fall from grace correlated almost directly with the introduction of testing. But to me the evidence from the numbers just isn't quite all there. So...

Mr. Gagne You Might Not Get the Guilty Gavel Just Yet

Over the offseason the Yankees landed two premium arms to throw in their rotation. CC Sabathia was the crown jewel but AJ Burnett was the one with the "stuff". He was that we were told would step up in the big spots. He was the who had never lost to the Red Sox in his entire career. The one that was 5-0 versus the Sox with an ERA in the 2s. He was supposed to get it done against the arch-rival. To put it bluntly, it hasn't happened.

Through two matchups against Boston the AJ Burnett that the Yankees paid for has not been in attendance. In fact he's pitching less like a stud against the Sox and more like Kei Igawa. In two starts against Boston AJ Burnett has served up a total of 13 earned runs. That's 1 run less than he gave up in his previous 8 career starts against the Sox.

In last nights game going against Josh Beckett, Burnett couldn't even get out of the 3rd inning, and in doing so signed the Yankees up for 0-6 against Boston for the season. Now the Yanks turn to Chien Ming-Wang and his 14.46 era to break the 0-for skid, for some reason I'm a little worried with how thats gonna turn out.

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you.

Mr. Andy Pettitte has already been found guilty and admitted using HGH. However, he just said that he used it twice and for the most part been off the hook. Let's take a deep dive into Andy's stats and see if there are a few hidden demons lurking.

Explaining It Away
There's a few ways to explain it away. He showed great numbers early in his career so perhaps the poor performances of 98-00 were just do to some nagging injuries or lost command as the walk rate went way down from 01 and on. Perhaps you could also explain it away as Clemens got there and he learned to take care of his body. And perhaps the last option is that he went to the NL and that really prolonged his prime thanks to weaker competition.

The Verdict

The problem with the logic above is that everyone thinks Clemens took roids, they were always around each other, and his resurgence directly correlates to Clemens being in the Bronx. So...

Andy and Roger were definitely sticking something in their asses...

What Sport is a series of posts dedicated to figuring out what sport a certain fictional character would play. Today's topic is Mega Man.

Description: Mega Man is a 4 foot tall robot whom depending on the villains he's dispatched could have a varying amount of abilities. He's tough, he's agile, he's quick, he's thick (230 lbs), but he's short as hell (he's Listed at just 4 foot 4).

The Options: Well anything having to do with height is completely out, so we shall eliminate basketball and volleyball. Baseball is likely eliminated as he would be an uber Pedroia. So our debate shall be between Hockey, Football, Soccer.

Football: The land of football is the land of massive massive men and Mega Man is certainly not that. But even in the land of massive men there's become a growing desire for the Quarkback, the small and lighting quick running back, think Leon Washington or Noel Devine. Mega Man would fit this persona perfectly. He's a tough little shit who likely would have vision in the backfield to make moves and would likely make a good punt returner as well.

Soccer: The Header would likely be out of the question for Mega Man, but once again his quickness and endurance would be at the forefront. Lionel Messi is arguably the best player in the world right now and he might be about 5 feet tall and Mega Man could easily fit that mold.

Hockey: Mega Man does defeat Ice Man in the first game, but even in that level he didn't bust out the skates. Plus, the Hockey stick was never amongst his weapons of choice. Hockey just doesn't fit.

The Verdict: Football, Mega Man is hands down the ideal Quarkback.

Disagree? Feel Free to Blast Away in the Comments.

Dan Haren must look at his record this season as he goes to bed at night and contemplate bringing a battle axe to work so that he can crush his teammates. Haren currently ranks 3rd in the NL with a 2.33 ERA yet sits with a record of 4-4 and thanks to the piss poor contributions of his teamates.

The first stretch of miserable team work was Haren's opening outings. Over the course of a week and a half Haren pitched three times to the tune of a 1.89 ERA, in other words he gave up 4 runs in 3 games. How did Haren's record look after these three starts? 0-3. Yep, in 3 games he got exactly 1 run of support.

Over the next three starts Haren continued to dominate giving up just 3 runs in 3 starts and rattling off three more wins. He followed up the rest of May with a few mediocre starts including one that was rained out after the first inning and thus his record moved to 4-4.

Than last week happenned. Haren had a two start week against two division rivals. In both games he left with a large lead, banking on the bullpen to close the door and collect the needed 6 outs. Against the Dodgers earlier in the week the pen exploded giving up 5 runs in the 8th to lose the game 6-5. Yesterday, the pen did a similar job, this time giving up 5 runs in the ninth capped off by a DAVID ECKSTEIN HOME RUN. I repeat a 3-run home run by a man with 20 career homers in nearly a decade.

Thus 1/3 of the way through the season, Haren has easily pitched like a Cy Young candidate but thanks to the putrid help he's gotta from his teammates Haren's record is worse than Bronson Arroyo's and his 5.00 ERA.

For years now the one thing missing on Roger Federer's resume has been the French Open title. As he chased down Pete Sampras record of 14 Grand Slam titles and the quest to be declared the greatest player of all time, it was the French Open title that was meant to be the clincher. Prior to yesterday it was a title squashed repeatedly by Rafael Nadal. Then in consecutive sundays Federer gave a big thank you to a random Swedish player you likely never heard of before.

I've been one of those advocates for Federer as the greatest player of all time and always thought the clincher would be when he won the French. But I also always thought that the clincher would require him defeating his greatest nemesis, that no way would he be able to win the French without overcoming the Capri Pantsed wonder. Yet it wasn't to be, Robin Soderling opened up the French Open for Federer and Federer capatilized. I'm just left with the lingering feeling that it's not nearly as special as it would have been if Nadal was the opponent. That despite the 14 majors and the career Grand Slam, Federer still has one gigantic question in his campaign for Greatest of All Time. Is he even better than Rafael Nadal?

If you've watched baseball for a decent amount of your life you've probably heard the phrase "Quadruple A ball player" before. Essentially this means that the player has enough talent to dominate in Triple A but fail miserably in the Majors. There are countless players that fall under this category, both hitters and pitchers a like, but no one might fit that mold more so than the New York Yankees Japanese import Kei Igawa.

We all remember Kei Igawa as the "Milk Beaver" Yankees' response to the Red Sox signing of Dice-K. While Dice-K has been a success, Igawa was a miserable failure, posting a 6+ ERA over 12 starts in 2007 before being demoted to the minors. Than last season in his cup of coffee with the big league club Igawa posted an even worse 13.50 ERA and essentially banished himself from the Bronx for eternity.

With how Igawa's pitched in the spotlight you'd figure he would just go down to the minors and be just another mediocre pitcher. This has absolutely not been the case, and hence his Quad A status. In his three seasons with the Scranton Wilkes-Barre Yankees he has pitched very well. His record during this time 24-11. In 2007 his ERA and WHIP finished at 3.69 and 1.20 respectively. In each of the following seasons both of these numbers fell to the point where this season he's pitching to the tune of a 3.39 ERA and 1.10 WHIP and has been rewarded with a 5-1 record.

It's quite obvious that in the minor leagues Igawa is up to the task but in the American he's completely outmatched. He's simply a Quadruple A player.

As a Yankee fan I pray that they can convince a National League team to give Igawa a shot. This obviously will require them to eat the bulk of the contract but it would A) End the Igawa error and force the Yanke to admit a mistake and B)Would allow me to watch him get rocked again which I always find hilarious.

Want a crackpot, out there theoretical on how Lebron James and Kobe Bryant can be teammates with the New York Knicks in 2010? Well thanks to Boomer and Carton in the morning and where ever the hell Craig Carton gets his ideas, it could happen.

It's pretty much a simple scenario. The Knicks have little to no cap room this year but potentially a ton of cap room in 2010. Kobe Bryant has a player option after this year for a meager 23$ million. All Kobe would have to do to team up with Lebron James and win every championship a Knicks fan could ever desire is opt out of his current contract and sign a contract with the Knicks this offseason. Then when Lebron James becomes a free agent in 2010 he could follow Kobe to Manhattan and the titles will waterfall to MSG.

The Crux in this scenario? In order for this ludicrous idea to work Kobe Bryant would have to accept... the Knicks' mid level exception. That'd be a 5 million dollar contract for the 2008 season or an 18+ million dollar paycut. This would then allow the Knicks to sign LBJ in 2010 and give Kobe a fat extension immediately following the signing of Lebron.

Yes this has literally no chance of ever happening, but some drugged out Knick fan can now suggest it to his friends and that'll at least be humurous.

Why do the Pirates always suck? The answer is simple, it's the Draft. I took a snapshot of the Pirates first 5 rounds of draft picks from 2008 and 1990 and what you find is nearly horrifying.

~Of the 80 players the Pirates have drafted in the first five rounds from 1990 to 2008 only one player has made an All Star game for the Pirates. That player was Jason Kendall who made the team on three separate occasions.

~Only 6 of the 38 players the Pirates drafted in the 4th and 5th rounds since 90 even made it to the big leagues. Of those players only Tike Redman and Jeff Keppinger are names you may have heard. And those aren't exactly house hold names.

~Not a single pitcher drafted in the 1st round for the Pirates has a record above .500.

~In the 3rd round the Pirates actually drafted three solid pitchers in Jeremy Guthrie, Chris Young and Bronson Arroyo. Of the three only Arroyo would ever suit up as a Pirate and he only had 29 starts in a Pirate uniform.

~Of all of the first 5 round draft picks Jason Kendall leads the way with the most homers. He has a total of 73 and he's been in the league for well over a decade.

Take a look yourself, I'm sure you can find some more horryfying stats.

Last year at this point in time the Pirates had a solid outfield. Between Nate McLouth, Jason Bay and Xavier Nady their outfield had 35 home runs in two months. Of the three it was Jason Bay who had the lowest batting average hitting .290 in comparison to McLouth's .310 and Nady's .323. Each player had an OPS above .900 and were contending for a spot in the All Star game. Each player was still in their prime with Bay and Nady 29 year olds and McLouth a rising 26 year old. The Pirates were still poor sitting at just 28-31 thanks to their pitching staff, but at the very least they had an outfield to build upon. How things can change in less than a calendar year.

On July 26th of last season the Pirates sat at 48-56 and were ready to pull the plug on their season, thus their dealings began. They first dealt Xavier Nady and DUMBASSHO Marte to the Yanks for Jose Tabata, Ross Ohlendorf, Dan McCutchen, and Jeff Karstens. Both Ohlendorf and Karstens are in their rotation today, but neither are particularly good. McCutchen (26) is a mediocre 3-3 in AAA with a 4.35 ERA. Tabata (20) is hitting a poor .250 with 0 HRs in AA right now. At least with this trade both Marte and Nady have wound up on the DL for the majority of the 2009 season.

A few days later the Pirates were the key player in shipping Manny out of Boston. The Red Sox desired to get their headache out of town but needed a player with at least comparable skills to head back in. This player was Jason Bay. As the third wheel of the deal the Pirates wound up receiveing Andy LaRoche with Bryan Morris from the Dodgers and Brandon Moss with Craig Hansen from the Red Sox. LaRoche looked like a AAAA player during his first year as well as the start of this season, but recently he's turned on the jets and is bumped his average up to .297 for the season. Bryan Morris (22) has yet to pitch this season in the minors after a poor season in Low A ball in 08. Brandon Moss is playing nearly everyday for the Pirates and is rewarding them by hitting .264 with 1 HR. Finally Hansen, dubbed a closer of the future for the Sox on draft day, has a 5.68 ERA in 5 appearances this season for the Pirates. Meanwhile, Jason Bay is likely going to start after being arguably the most valuable hitter in the 1st place Red Sox line up this season.

The final piece of the trading puzzle came yesterday when out of nowhere the Pirates dealt Nate McLouth to the Braves for Jeff Locke, Charlie Morton and Gorkys Hernández. Locke (21) has an ERA of 5.52 in HiA ball. Morton is dominating AAA currently but in his first campaign in the bigs last year he was poor. Finally Gorkys Hernández (21) is an outfield prospect who was ranked as the Braves 4th best prospect coming into this season. This trade finalized the 3 up, 3 down, much like a typical Pittsburgh Pirates offensive inning.


Look at how happy they all look together. And now BOOM, they're all gone and likely way happier.

Quinnipiac University of Hamden Connecticut obviously has a little spare time on their hands and therefore for the 7th straight year they conducted a baseball fandom survey of Connecticut. The survey is essentially to see which team, the Yankees or the Red Sox, has more fans in the state of Connecticut and where exactly the lines in the sand are drawn. After losing out to the Red Sox in total fans last year for the first time in the surveys history, the Yankees eaked out a 42-38% victory in 2009 despite losing in five of the eight counties. Thankfully, due to wealth distribution population density of the counties, and the landslide victory in Fairfield County the Yanks take home the grand prize.

You can check the actual county results in the detailed Quinnipiac tables, but I'll sum it up for you. The counties close to New York City like the Yankees. The counties further away the city like the Sox. And Litchfield County is just confused and irrelevant.

This post is pretty much for all the jackasses from Massachusetts who have ever asked me how I live in New England and am a Yankee Fan. You can now see the map of Connecticut and exactly which counties have a majority of fans being either the Yankees or Red Sox. I live on the boarder of Fairfield and New Haven counties and thus grew up in Yankee territory. Next time someone asks me this question I shall point them here.

Watching Dwight Howard play informs you of one solid fact, he is bigger, stronger and more athletic than anyone on the court. Additionally he doesn't really show many skilled post moves, more like turn -> bull rush -> layup. Anybody else in recent memory who dominated basically because they were simply too big and too strong for anyone to handle? Oh yeah, Shaquille O'Neal, the former Magic "Superman". And of course to further the parallel they have both now helped the Magic reach an NBA finals before their 21st birthday so why not do a little comparison of their career trends.


Let's first ignore Howard's first year, when he was 19*, and focus on the years when Shaq and Dwight entered the season at the same age. The trends are pretty much what you expect. Despite being just a year older than Howard in his rookie year, Shaq enjoyed three years of seasoning in College which helped him come into the NBA guns a blazing. Due to this Shaq's numbers over his rookie and sophomore campaign overshadow Howard's numbers at the same age in every category, including blocks which you might have assumed would have fallen Dwight's way. After a few years in the league the numbers continue to fall in the way you would expect, Shaq is a much more polished and dominant offensive player. His points, assists, and even turnovers per game are much better than Howard's. What did happen in Howard's favor is that he's progressively become an even better rebounder and has morphed into the premier NBA defender. Shaq's rebounding numbers, perhaps thanks to some weight gain, began to decline to the 11.5 range following his first two seasons. Additionally, he never was considered the best defender in the league, more so an immovable object and terrible road block in the paint.

What about their career performances during the playoffs?


Both made three playoff appearances before their 25th birthday. Shaq made it to the finals as a 23 year old while Howard is currently 24. Again the differences are expected. Shaq was more dominating on the offensive end both in scoring and passing and Dwight Howard is emerging as one of the greatest rebounders of all time.

Overall the two players have their similarities but are still vastly different. Howard is a rebounding God while Shaq was simply an elite rebounder. Shaq was the GoTo scorer for the Magic in their run to the finals, while Howard is truly the Magic's 3rd option behind Hedo and Lewis. In the end though they both are truly elite players who were gifted with the incredible combination of size, strength, and athleticism.

~Shaq is born in March, Howard in December. So Howard is roughly 4 months older than Shaq for every given point noted.

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you.

John Rocker is a famous hot head who was bulked up in his playing days. The combination of the two makes you think that he certainly would be a candidate for steroid use. Let's take a look at the stats to see if anything jumps out.

Explaining It Away
The stats don't scream steroid use. Why? Well, its not like in John Rocker's massive decline there would have been any reason for him to actually stop using steroids. His entire playing career was over before major drug testing so if anything if he was on steroids he wouldn't have stopped especially with the declining stats.

The Verdict
The Major League Numbers might not say anything condemning but the minor league numbers throw up massive question marks about a particular offseason. In 1997 Rocker never played above AA and his combined ERA between A+ and AA was in the mid to high fours. Then all of a sudden in 1998 he became a dominant reliever, posting a 1.42 ERA in AAA before being called up to the bigs and posting a 2.13 ERA over 47 appearances. I wonder why...

Must have been the Protein Shakes...

Last night Joba Chamberlain contributed the longest start of his career. In the process he gave up two runs on just four hits while striking out five. It was one of Joba's best starts of his career and was much needed coming off one poor start which was proceeded by an early exit thanks to a liner off the knee. In return it should hush some of the critis, ie. Mike Francessa, who have been so adiment that he should be put in the bullpen because he's "proven" to be a dominant reliever and has not done so as a starter. Care to check the stats Mike?

In 22 career starts spanning the past two seasons Joba has posted a 3.19 ERA. That's all star level coming from anyone nevermind a 23 year old. Obviously the innings per start can use improvement but the remaining numbers are screaming potential ace. Arguing that he hasn't been a very good starting pitcher is just stupid.


The point of this post is not really to banter about how the Yankees must keep Joba Chamberlain in the starting rotation, or that moving him to the bullpen would be moronic. The point is that no matter where they put him he's going to contribute and that giving up on him as a starting pitcher and saying he doesn't have the make up to start is certainly not the way to go.

When a google ad is simply a picture of Charlie Murphy dressed up in an 80s swoosh suit, balding with a mustache, and says "Taste my Desire." You've won over my attention. I'm a man, it really doesn't take much. All I need to do is reflect on the Prince vs. Charlie Murphy video and you've got me reeled in.

So what do I find on this Leroy Smith website? Pure awesomeness. I have no idea what the hell he's trying to sell or what the heck its linked to, but I do know that it's f'n hilarious and that I can watch these videos for the rest of the day and be incredibly content.





There's even more videos so go waste a few more hours at the Leroy Smith website.

The website FanGraphs* provides many a new fangled statistic, from plate discipline stats, to replacement level stats to, to win probability added, etc. One of my favorite stats is dollar amount a player would make in free agency. So the current leader for fielders is Evan Longoria, and he would be worth 14.6 million dollars in the market.

So what would Mr. Ortiz deserve if he was in the open market right now? -5.2 million dollars. Yep, he would have to pay someone over 5.2 million dollars for him to add any value to a team in free agency.


*If you have a few minutes and like stats, seriously play around in FanGraphs for a bit.

I don't know what the most ridiculous part about this shirt is. The horizontal stripes mixture of colors or the fact the stripes are only on the front of the shirt.

If the Cavaliers loss in the Eastern Conference finals proved one thing its that Lebron James just like everybody else needs a wingman. Despite being the best player on the planet, he needs a teammate that can pick up some of the slack and take some of the burden off of his shoulders. The entire Cavaliers roster from Mo Williams to Delonte West to Anderson Varejao and beyond proved this past week that they are not up to the task. So that begs the question, whats next?

The Cavs have a difficult tight rope to travel over the next 16 or so months. With Lebron James becoming a free agent in roughly 12 months, they need to do everything under their power to convince him to stay in Cleveland. To convince LBJ they need to A) Not have a devastating decline in the 09-10 season, B) Provide LBJ proof that championships can be had in Cleveland either now or in the future. Of these two, B is vastly more important.

First off how do the Cavaliers proceed heading into this offseason. Their biggest decision is how do they handle Varejao. He's the one player currently on their roster heading into free agency that requires a decision. Do the Cavs give him money to try to continue with the core that won 66 games or do they let him leave and position themselves for more cap flexibility.

Assuming Lebron does not take his player option, the Cavs are currently slated to have just 19$ million dollars of contracts on the books in 2010. The contracts on the books are Delonte, Mo and Booby aka the current back court rotation. Assuming they don't go out and spend a bunch of money this offseason, the Cavs would be aligned to make a significant run at any number of prized 2010 free agents and potentially two if the cards are played absolutely right. Could you imagine the potency of an LBJ, Joe Johnson, Chris Bosh and Mo Williams threesome?

We now know that Lebron needs help. It's just a matter of can Cleveland provide the help, or will Lebron go out and find it himself?

Not like I care too much for College Baseball, but come on, seeing a scoreboard with the Buckeyes losing by 31 in a baseball game was just too fun to ignore. Thanks for the quick smile Buckeye pitching staff and Fanhouse for passing it a long.

I'm just having so much fun burying David Ortiz in the ground that I honestly have become semi-addicted. It's just so much fun watching a bitter enemy morph from Lion to a kitten. From 2003 to 2007 when David Ortiz was Hercules, cough on roids cough, his slugging percentage never finished worse than 7th in Major League Baseball. This year, for batters with a minimum of 125 abs, he's 221st or 7th to last.

Rafael Nadal's success at Roland Garros has been unprecedented. To say that his matches were a foregone conclusion would be a massive understatement. He'd never even played a 5-set match at the French Open. He was unbeatable, you could start etching his name on the trophy before a single ball was served on the red clay of Philippe Chatrier. Everyone knew this, especially Roger Federer.

The French Open is the one tournament standing between Federer and the throne of best player of all time. And it was Nadal his main nemesis that ruled the tournament with an iron fist. Without Nadal, Federer may have cruised to three straight Clay Court Major Championships, but alas Nadal stood in the way issuing Federer a beatdown each year more severe than the prior. Even defeating Nadal a few weeks back at a the finals of another clay court tournament would not be enough to boost the confidence of Federer. Clay is Nadal's domain, and Nadal is Federer's master.

And then Robin Soderling swooped in and became the hero of Roger. Somehow, someway, Soderling pounded Nadal into submission and issued him the first loss of his career in Paris. And given the fact that he hasn't lost to anybody other than Nadal at the French Open since 2004. The door was opened wide for Federer.

And yet today, perhaps suffering from a Nadal lost drunken celebration, Federer fell into a hangover-laced 2 to 0 set deficit to Tommy Haas. The hangover was quickly erased and Federer fought back to secure a 5 set victory going 6-4 6-0 6-2 throughout the final three sets. The path still will provide resistence, with players like Del Potro, Murray, Gonzalez lined up as potential opponents, but this is Federer's year. If he doesn't hold up Coupe des Mousquetaires this year, he never will.

1. Drew Gooden 2. Charles Barkley 3. Bobby Jackson 4. Jalen Rose 5. Chuck Person 6. Steve Nash 7. Maurice Taylor

8. Samaki Walker 9. Tim Thomas 10. Eric Gordon 11. Erick Dampier 12. Hakeem Olajuwon 13. Karl Malone 14. Joakim Noah

1. This player was once traded from Cleveland to Chicago.

2. This player is an Auburn Tiger.

3. Teamates with C-Webb in the Sacramento Glory Days

4. Fab Five Member

5. Rookie of the Year Award Winner in 1987

6. 2 Time MVP

7. Was a Michigan Wolverine

8. He's Not Antoine Walker but he's _________.

9. Only Played One Year at Villanova.

10. A Hoosier

11. Was Traded for Chris Mullin

12. The #1 Pick

13. He's not UPS or FedEx but he is the _________.

14. He's a Douche

Now Back to the Pictures...

List: Bobby Jackson, Chuck Person, Charles Barkley, Drew Gooden, Eric Gordon, Erick Dampier, Hakeem Olajuwon, Jalen Rose, Joakim Noah, Karl Malone, Maurice Taylor, Samaki Walker, Steve Nash, Tim Thomas

When you're done or have given up, here are the answers.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.

8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14.