I was in a rush to do the week 5 picks so I accidentally just copied over week 4, which probably is the best for everybody and chances are no one sees this anyway. But I went 1-4 with my 5 suggestions. Lost my survivor pool and did miserable. He's picture evidence:

Spread


NonSpread


See that was bad...

I'm still working on prettying this bad boy up and would like suggestions from the peanut gallery. Consider this the beta. Notes the banner is going to be bigger than it is now. Should be about the size of the post width.

So assbags check out this guy and tell me what you think.

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos Courtesy of, in order, SuperDeluxe, Fantasy Humor, 100% IR, With Leather, EDSBS, LOLJocks, 100% IR again, ProFootball Talk, EC, Fanhouse , Yardbarker


I never put 1 and 1 together, Pacman Jones is Storm?


I deserve some loans. Especially after the pain Larry Fitzgerald is putting me through.


Friggin Monkeys Have hops apparently.


Boo I wanted to see who won. I wonder if body blows or neck blows are more wearing for the fighters.


The Ole Ball Coach was not very pleased with a kicker scoring a TD.


And Sotherners wonder why we think they're morons...


Personally I like to work on putts that are more than 2 feet. I just take those as makes regardless.


Did Vince Wilfork and the Macho Man have a meeting last week prior to the game? It's a possibility.


Goalie Fights are Extreme!!!


I'm glad he changed his name to Ecko, I don't think Milikowski or whatever it is flies in the hood.


He can sure handle two balls, but what about in sac form?

There are some characters in this weeks waste of oxygen. Here are your contestants:

1. Lynam Athletic - Your team sucks you finish in last place and you are pretty much a disgrace so what to do to improve your team. Oh I know change everybody's legal name to superstar players so that you throw out a world cup squad. Except Ronaldhino isn't European though right? He's more of a human horse. 2. Antonio Henton - Go Buckeyes, go solicit them prostitutes. When you're the 3rd string QB on a team I guess you need something to do outside holding a clipboard all day and if that means spending your Tressel paycheck on some hooker love then I have no problem with that. What's so bad with soliciting prostitutes anyway? Aren't they the ones breaking the law? 3. Michael Vick - Hmm let's see. You're awaiting sentencing for a major crime which could be up to 5 years you sit around and you want to ease the tension. So you smoke a little weed and then you fail a drug test all but convincing the judge to make his decision harder. He just isn't very bright. 4. Greg Ryan - Goalie hasn't given up a goal in 300 minutes, hmm she's due let's bench her. Thanks to this douche we lost to Brazil in the Woman's World Cup. And while I normally couldn't give two shits about the loss it will be annoying because I work with a Brazilian who will just bug me about this for the rest of the week.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Get Your Vote On

Last Weeks Winner: Bill Belichick

5. Clemson Tigers at Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
And the Yellow Jackets fall from grace has been quick. A loss to UVA? What the hell was that. Another loss to Clemson this weekend? And they can officially kiss their ACC title hopes good bye. Entrance to the ACC title game goodbye, season goodbye everything. It will be over. The Pick: And it will be as Clemson sneaks out of ATL with a Victory

4. Michigan St. Spartans at Wisconsin Badgers
Time to eliminate another pretender in the Big 10. This week it's the undefeated Spartans versus the undefeated Badgers. This pits the Spartans who usually can put up a ton of points on the board versus the Badgers, who attempt to turn every game into a snoozer. Hopefully I'm either not watching or the Spartans force the Badgers to get aggressive on offense. The Pick: The Badgers Sneak Out with a Victory

3. Auburn Tigers at Florida Gators
So the Gators won the National Title last year even with their loss to the Auburn Tigers. Maybe it dampens the revenge factor a bit but I'm sure the Gators are incredibly fired up for this one and were looking past shatty Ole Miss last weekend for this game.The Pick: Tim Tebow and the Boys roll

1a. Cal Bears at Oregon Ducks
Now this is a game which will probably be the most fun to watch of the weekend. Both teams are explosive. Both defenses probably aren't strong enough to severely slow down the other defenses. The winner is immediately crowned second best team in the Pac 10, the second best conference in the country. I wouldn't be surprised to see 100 points on the board at the end of the game.The Pick: Dennis Dixon Continues his improbably trek to the Heisman ceremony.

1. West Virginia Mountaineers at South Florida Bulls
The biggest game of the weekend is from the Big East? Well I'll go with a tie between this and the Pac 10 showdown. This will be the Mountaineers first tester and their first of two revenge games from last season. Last year their Big East Championship hopes fell at the hands of the Bulls at home. The Pick: I'm tempted to take the Bulls but I'll stick with Slaton and White and Revenge.

When looking at the NL Standings you naturally come to the conclusion that 4 teams in the NL have destiny in their own hands. If the Mets, Dbacks and Cubs win out they all take home their division. If the Padres win out they at minimum take home the wild card.

However if you said 4, you would be wrong. In fact now thanks to the mighty Pirates an additional team has been granted destiny in their own hands. The Colorado Rockies are said team. The Rocks are currently on a ten game win streak and extending the streak 4 more games means that at worst they will surpass the Arizona Diamondbacks and will at worst will share the Wildcard with the Philadelphia Phillies with whom they are tied now.

Just over a week ago the Rockies were 5 games back of the Padres for the WildCard and 7 games behind the Arizona Diamondbacks to have advanced to the position they are today is one of the most amazing baseball accomplishments in history. If they were to run the table and make the playoffs, regardless you have to imagine that Clint Hurdle went from the Hotseat to arguably the manager of the year.

Last Week I put forth a post where I left a hypothetical statement from Marc Ecko to Barry Bonds. Most of it was meant as a joke. Early this morning I looked at my inbox and noticed that someone posted a massive comment on said post and pointed out racial issues with the baseball. I'd imagine that this comment was something the poster spread around many different blogs on the web but judge for yourself. Here's the Comment in it's entirety and I'll comment about it afterwards:

MARC ECKO NUT BALL

The Commissioner of Baseball must move quickly to stop what will be a huge mistake in American race relations and an ugly black eye for the sport. “Branding” was something done to African slaves. African-Americans could boycott the Hall of Fame or even Baseball itself. How could Ecko be so dumb?

Marc Ecko will brand Barry Bonds’ record home run ball and send it on to Cooperstown? It’s time for the Commissioner to put his foot down on this one. If he doesn’t, he makes an enormous mistake in public relations and in race relations in the United States. This is one of the most irresponsible things I’ve seen done in sports in a long time. Let’s hope the Commissioner is responsible. Hall of Fame President Petroskey apparently is not. His mind must be changed.

We saw this type of racist garbage when Hank Aaron broke Babe Ruth's record. Same garbage, different year, different racist in the bigot Marc Ecko, familiar racism.

The obvious facts are that Barry Bonds has never tested positive for steroids or found legally liable for steroid use or possession. In the United States we are supposed to be presumed innocent until proven guilty. So to start with, this wacko fashion designer is ignoring the democratic ideals of his nation. And he has a track record of goofiness and irresponsibility in other areas. To allow this fiasco to proceed is basically a validation of the nutso dealings of an eccentric (a polite word for crazy) millionaire. The public good is being hijacked by a nut ball.

And there are present and historical public goods here. Baseball, like much of American culture, has a very ugly history of racism. A stunt like this reminds people that for the first half of the history of the sport, people of color were not allowed to play. The word “Branded” is an ugly reminder of slavery, as slaves were branded with a hot iron when they were auctioned. Bidders would hear them scream and could even smell the seared flesh. Slave ship captains also would brand slaves as they were loaded and chained into the hold. Branding was also done for other reasons; it was a mark of disgrace done to the body for a transgression against society. Black slaves were also branded for disobedience and running away-some times on the face.
Symbolism is powerful, and this symbol says whites in America want a red hot iron seared into the flesh of this black man for allegations that have never been proven. Perhaps they would like to lynch him as well? If you study the history of lynching of black men, you will find that some of them indeed were branded before they were hanged. And, like Bonds, many were lynched over an unproven allegation.

Also, the United States is STILL dealing with harsh race issues and a prevailing undercurrent of racism. We’re getting better. And starting to heal. But when Mark Ecko does something like this, it opens old wounds and sets back race relations a decade. I don’t think Mr. Ecko realizes just how evil his actions are. Most crazy people don’t. Or is he just plain stupid and uneducated? He needs a lesson in history. Perhaps with a red-hot iron as a visual aid. Being wealthy doesn’t guarantee intelligence or proper education or a rational mind. Mark Ecko is proof of that. Marc Ecko will trot out his lackies and call in markers to prove he has African-American friends. “I’m not a racist; some of my best friends are Black.” Sure, we’ve heard that one before.

If the Commissioner allows this baseball into the Hall of Fame, Cooperstown will be branded as racist. Baseball will be branded as racist, and I certainly hope the players will put their personal animosities aside and close ranks around this in the interest of national unity and racial harmony. We could end up with an African-American boycott of the Baseball Hall of Fame.

It’s the natural result, and it’s probably the proper result. As Blacks will point out, none of McGuire’s stuff is branded. Because it was the ancestors of white people that branded black people, not the reverse. Whites were not branded and then sent out to pick cotton in the hot sun. Whites, such as Marc Ecko, did the branding.

Ecko tried to insulate himself from accusations of racism and undemocratic ideals by having his internet vote on the fate of the ball. It doesn’t work. To those that say that it lends legitimacy to his racism, I say the majority of Americans wanted to keep Blacks in slavery. A majority of Americans didn’t want Blacks to vote. A majority of Americans wanted to keep Jim Crow and segregation. Because a majority of Americans were once white racists like Marc Ecko. And actions like this make people think we still are a nation of racists. Why didn’t Ecko have a vote that Bonds be publicly flogged? Then he could be whipped AND branded.

If the ball is refused entry into Cooperstown, a disgraced Mark Ecko can put the defaced ball in his office and stand there staring at it while chanting “I am not a racist.” If he chants it enough, he might continue to believe it.

Dennis G. Carrier

I'm not Black and will never be able to claim that I understand what life is like as a black man. But personally this is where African American activists absolutely lose me. Branding certainly was used in slavery but its not synonymous with it. In my fraternity the elder brothers all hand brands of FIJI on their chest were they doing it in reference to slavery? When gloves are branded with Rawlings or the company that makes them is it in reference to slavery? Same with baseball bats. Branding the ball is simply putting a permanent mark on the ball. Leather wears down, a Sharpie would be less effect than a brand.

Barry Bonds cheated you know it everyone knows it, just like OJ murdered two people. Just because they get away with it doesn't mean the public doesn't know. Innocent until proven guilty is solely for the courts.

Spend time trying to right whats really wrong in this society. Don't point out something irrelevant to racism. Point out that our education system are poorer in Black communities and not giving some the opportunities to succeed in life. Point out how many rap albums degrade woman and promote violence and give congress and the American public in general a bad perception on Black people in this country. Point out things that are there things that are important and try to work to improve those. Don't waste everybody's time trying to link Branding a Baseball to slavery. Don't waste everybody's time trying to convince the world that this is a horrendous injustice and that Marc Ecko is a racist. I'm willing to bet you've never spoken to Marc Ecko and probably have no idea what he's like. And neither do I. So please if you ever want the United States to be 100% equal between every race work on the things that need improving and don't make claims that make white people like myself think that some Black people in this world need to make every single little thing a race issue. If you continue to do this there will never be equality.

Nothing brightens my day quite like watching a little girl potentially lose a few teeth. I feel so much better right now.

Courtesy of Our Book of Scrap

Last week I mentioned how Chelsea sacked their manager, Jose Mourinho, for well, winning too many games. Well not so surprisingly teams are starting to come out of the woodwork to offer him jobs. The first? The United Arab Emirates, the small country in the middle east which sports one of the worst national team clubs in the world, was the first to court Jose. Just how bad are they at Soccer? In fact the United Arab Emirates is ranked 102nd in the world and has not qualified for a World Cup since 1990 which was the only time they ever qualified.

So of course Jose would laugh at this offer and tell them thanks but no thanks. If you are a winning manager you want to end up with some sort of trophy. Whether that be another major European Soccer team or coaching his home country Portugal to European and World Cup glory. However, the UAE apparently have something that doesn't involve soccer players. They have a lot of cash. They've offered Jose 20 million dollars per year to manage their soccer club. I know he's call the Special One, but I don't think he's been called a miracle worker.

Regardless it appears as if Jose will wait around for a club with more winning appeal, but 20 million dollars. Damn.

Part of the Reason I just did the Dictionary entry was because I wanted to use it in this post and the other part is that I like the damn Dictionary and always forget to use it. Anyway the Cubs are majorly pulling a kay by printing out their world series tickets prior to even clinching their division.

Picture Courtesy of Deadspin

Pull a Kay [pŏŏl ey key]
-verb

1. Acting as if something is finished prior to its conclusion.
2. Sharing the ronsequences of a final outcome prior to its outcome is concluded.
3. Acting as if a Game is won before the final out, or whistle has happened.

Synonyms: Counting Your Chickens Before They've Hatched
Sentence Usage: "The game is in the fifth inning and he's already saying Kei Igawa is going to get his first win since June, why must he pull a kay."

Playoff Races

NL West: The Pirates accomplished the first of hopefully a 3 game sweep. Combine that with wins for the Padres and Rocks and it just might be a race. The Rocks must not lose any more ground over the next two days so they can get their hands on the Dbacks with a chance to win the division.

NL East: Of course I chime in on the Phillies and how I want them to make the playoffs and they go out and lose to the Braves. Hello Philadelphia, the Mets are trying to give you the division. The Mets can't win a game. Fire it up and win your next 5 and you should be playing in at minimum a 1 game playoff for the division. Too bad this isn't going to happen.

NL Central: The Cubbies gave one back last night but still have a 2 game lead with 5 to play and the Brewers playing host the Padres this weekend. It would be shocking if the Cubbies slipped back this weekend.

NL Wildcard: The Pads opened a 1 game lead over the Phils and Rocks last night. The Phils have to weather the storm for the next two games against the Braves if they expect to keep pace. This race could either be intriguing or the Pads could open up a 2 game lead tonight with 4 to play and the boredom can ensue.

AL: Snooze. The only thing that matters this week is whether the Indians hold off the Angels for the best record in the American League.

Award Races

AL Cy Young: This comes down to Beckett and Sabathia. CC had the lead for a bit until he struggled against the Royals and Beckett bailed out the Red Sox against the Yanks. They both pitched well in their last outings and Beckett holds a moderate edge. If either falter big time in their final starts it could lead to them giving away the award. Not surprisingly I'm pulling for the Fat Ass, who is anchoring two of my Fantasy titles and is not a Red Sox player, in comparison to Beckett who is anchoring one title and is, to take home the crown.

NL MVP: A three horse race between David Wright, Prince Fielder and Matt Holliday. Wright plays on the best team, plays the more important defensive position and is the most likely to make the playoffs. Prince hits the most bombs is the biggest presence and dropped two homers last night to help the Brewers inch back into the race. Holliday is flat out having the best season but is still somehow someway under the radar.

AL ROY: It's probably between Delmon Young and Dustin Pedroia. Delmon's got more flash but Pedroia is playing in for a division winner and not a bottom feeder. I really have no idea who's going to take it home.

NL Cy Young: Jake Peavy won it.

NL ROY: Ryan Braun won it.

AL MVP: Arod won it.

Just because I can't stand the guy I'm going to post so I have a note of another stupid thing he said. Yesterday the Yanks dressed up their rookies in costumes. With 4 rooks as the Wizard of Oz crew including Joba as the Cowardly Lion and of course Kei Igawa as a monkey. Basically ever team in the Big Leagues does something to haze their rookies and 100% IR has a solid post encapsulating many pictures and many ridiculous costumes.

Well instead of saying anything about this prior, especially when Clay Bucholz and other Red Sox players were wearing slutty woman pirate outfits, Missanelli goes on a rant today because the Yankees do it. Saying its completely ridiculous that Joba is dressing up like a lion and Ian Kennedy is dressed up as Dorothy. Saying that its a man's game and the Yankees are a joke. No Mike, the Yankees are actually making a joke, its harmless and funny. It loosens up the clubhouse a little bit. How about you get off of your I Hate All Things Yankee stool and actually provide some sense of sanity in your broadcast.

Additionally in typical Missanelli form he confronted every single Yankee caller who dialed up to explain to Mike that it was a simple harmless joke. Combine this with Stephen A. defending Mike to the callers saying that he is entitled to his opinion, instead of lambasting Mike for being an idiot, and you have one mind numbing unintelligent radio segment.

If so start cheering for the Pittsburgh Pirates. As I mentioned in my last post the DBacks have a significant 3 game lead over the Padres and a 4 game lead over the Colorado Rockies. Chances are significant with a few wins by the DBacks and a loss or two by the Rockies and Padres respectively that they could lock down the division by Thursday evening.

This is where the Pittsburgh Pirates come in. The Pirates are of course miserable again this season and laid down for the Cubbies this past weekend, but now they have a chance to make the Playoff Race even more interesting. If the Pirates could win some games at home in their series against the DBacks starting today and the Rockies can gain at minimum a single game than the Rocks will entertain the Diamondbacks for a three game set with a chance to challenge for the division crown. Even better if the Pirates could somehow someway sweep the Arizona Diamondbacks we could have a 5 team cluster f*ck race the final weekend of the season.

Imagine how entertaining the final weekend could be in the NL if the Rocks, Dbacks, Padres, Mets and Phillies entered Fridays games all separated by a single game. So here's to the miserable Pirates may God be with you this week. Don't Stop Believin'.

Every single season it seems like the Philadelphia Phillies are the runner up to the playoffs. They start out like garbage, there are calls for the managers head and then come August and the first three weeks of September they begin to make their move. They get right into the hunt until crash the last week comes and they sputter slightly and they just miss the postseason.

Well for once can this squad play well down the stretch. If they somehow caught the Mets and shoved them out of the playoffs it would result in countless hilarious calls to local New York Stations. Yankee fans asking the Met fans if its still a Met town. Met fans calling for Randolph's head. I could be entertained for hour on end by the miserable Met fans.

Mostly the I want the Phillies in the postseason because they are actually an interesting team to watch. They play hard, their stadium results in a ton of home runs and in any inning they could explode for 10 runs. If the Phillies and Mets make the postseason than the opening series would line up [most likely] the Phils vs. the Dull D-Backs and the Mets vs. the Cubs. For me a mets vs. Cubs Wildcard Series matchup would bring life to the NL and atleast the Phils could bring some excitement to watching the no name Dbacks squad. However if the Padres make the playoffs we'll be subjected to two boring series involving NL West Teams. Snooze.

The Best Case Scenario would be for the Rockies and Phillies to have a terrific week and for the Mets and Padres to struggle mightily. Therefore getting in two offensive minded teams in the NL as well as giving me the hearty Mets laugh hours.

*Note: I'd rather the Rockie make the postseason over the Padres. Also, I wish the Dbacks wouldn't make the playoffs but they have a 3 game lead over SD (4 over Colorado) so they need an epic choke job not to make it.

Wow You Guys Suck: St. Louis Rams, So much for the Rams having the greatest show on Turf. 3 points? 3 miserable little points. I know the Bucs probably aren't as atrocious as I and many others thought, but they still aren't good. The Rams could quickly pack in their season with a loss next weekend when Jackson will be sitting on the sidelines all game. Runners Up: Buffalo is apparently on their way to being one of the worst teams in the NFL, the Detroit DBs responsible for covering Kevin Curtis

Cough Cough Cough: Drew Brees, One year removed from being the runner up in the MVP and Brees is weekly putting up stink bombs. Multiple key turnovers in the 4th quarter eliminated any chance the Saints had of not sliding to 0-3. Runners Up: Philip Rivers is not holding up his end of the bargain, Sexy Rexy with another stinker.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Joe Gibbs, Sometimes Hall of Fame Coaches do not out coach Tom Coughlin. By sometimes I mean approximately once and that once would be this weekend in the final minutes of the game. Joe if you're going to take over the play calling, get the ball in the end zone. Runner Up: DeAngelo Hall continuing to give VaTech alumni a bad name, Lovie Smith for continuing to run out the Sex Cannon as the starting QB.

The Shocker: Green Bay Packers, Once again I had the Pack at 10-6 and winning their division. However, I never thought for a second that they would beat the Chargers this weekend. I guess I'm just underestimating how much Norv Turner sucks at coaching. Runners Up: Tampa Bay moving to 2-1, Dallas 100% dominating the Bears

The Pimp: Donovan McNabb and Kevin Curtis, I went to the Yankee game this sunday so I came home and watched a DVR'd Jets game and everytime the stats popped up in the first half Curtis and McNabb had another 60+ yards and another td. They absolutely mauled the Lions and anyone who was lucky enough to start Curtis in fantasy is rejoicing. Runners Up: The Pats their whole f*ckin team, Brett Favre another turn back the clock performance.

You Got JAKKED UP: Chris Brown, Cause I DVR'd and watched only really the jets game and the monday night game I didn't catch many big hits. But Chris Brown got crushed last night on a dump off pass by Scott Fajita.

My Anti-Fantasy MVP: Larry Fitzgerald, I went 0-2 this week so I will divulge my anti MVP in the weeks that I perform miserably. This week the culprit is Larry Fitzgerald who apparently sucks balls. He has done nothing special this entire season. What the heck happened to him?

New York Jets MVP: Chad Pennington, For all those ass bag Jet fans out there who cheered for Clemens when he rushed on the field, Chad has played two games this season and in both games he's been the best Jet player on the field. No questions asked.

My Picks

My Picks: 10-6
Preseason Picks: 10-6
Picks Vs. Spread: 10-6

It's typically a rarity when you have the same record picking the winners as you do picking against the spread. But I won a decent amount of games where I picked the the underdog to cover and still lose and it happened. And a few games where the favorite lost the game but I picked the Underdog with the points, like the Saints Titans last night.

This will probably be down by the morning, but its too good to not post for at least a little bit. I don't think I've seen something this apropos in a long time.

"...Remember this they're unarmed." You are in Michigan Lou, they do have a lot of rifles up there. I wouldn't necessarily say that for sure.

"The Difference between Michigan and Us, we expect to win." Yep Lou, they had beaten Penn St. 8 times in a row of course they don't expect to win.

"They probably do a crossword puzzle with a pen cause they think they never made a mistake. They made a mistake when they scheduled Penn St." Those arrogant Michigan Wolverines being in the Big 10 and everything and having to play Penn St. I bet they did the schedule in Pen and everything.

Remember this is all about Quality Wins so beating Notre Dame might give you additional hype but it won't land you on this poll.

1. Louisiana State - Another quality opponen1 for the Tigers and another easy victory. They toyed with the Gamecocks by giving up the first touchdown and then laid the hammer down and let them score a few points in the last quarter. Who knew Les Miles could be so creative with the sweet Fake Field Goal which had the Ole Ball Coach laughing on the sidelines. Quality Wins: VaTech, South Carolina

2. Oregon - Oregon is making the leap up one spot. Why because Michigan is going to win their next 5 games after shutting down PSU this weekend and Houston hasn't lost a game since their opener to the Ducks. Sure the Ducks faltered a bit this weekend but they still tooled on Stanford in the second half and scored another 50+. Quality Wins: Houston, @Michigan

3. Oklahoma - Oklahoma got a nice boost this weekend from the fact that Miami laid the wood down on Big 12 rival Texas A&M. If you use the transitive score property the Oklahoma A&M score should be a lot to a very little in favor of the Sooners. Quality Wins: Miami

4. Kentucky - Unfortunately for the Wildcats, Louisville had to spit the bit this weekend else they could be contending for the #1 spot on this poll. Quality Wins: Louisville, @Arkansas

5. Southern Cal - The Trojans dropped really at no fault of their own but rather because the Nebraska win lost a lot of its luster after the Huskers nearly lost to a Ball St. Once USC gets into the heart of their Pac 10 schedule they will jump back to the top. Quality Wins: @Nebraska

6. Clemson - The Tigers jump up a few spots from the realization that perhaps Florida State is the best win any ACC team has right now. The Tigers since have plowed through their weak schedule. Quality Wins: FSU

7. Florida - Florida way to scare your team a bit against Ole Miss. It's not really a big deal and is ignored in these rankings, but still how about you don't make games like that so close. Florida falls a spot cause I decided that FSU was a better win than Tennessee. Quality Wins: Tennessee

8. California - Since their week 1 victory over the Volunteers Cal has sat and played no one. This changes next week and will result in a little shakeup of the Power Rankings when they square off against Oregon in Eugene. Quality Wins: Tennessee

9. South Carolina - There is no disgrace in losing to arguably the #1 team in the country on their home turf. Additionally the UGA win looks better after UGA knocked of the Tide in Bama. Quality Wins: @UGA

10. Georgia - I'll let Georgia in the mix despite their home loss against the GameCocks which could be mildly contrued as a home loss. The win against the Crimson Tide was a quality one and the Oklahoma St. opening victory gained a little bit of steam after they beat Texas Tech this week despite losing to Troy the prior week. So we'll just leave one quality win in the bank for UGA and maybe one pending. Quality Wins: @Alabama

11. Arizona St. - Again the final spots have been difficult to lay out the past few weeks. BC looks great but GT lost to UVA this weekend. Ohio St. could have pushed for entrance but Washington lost to UCLA. In the end I settled on ASU who have marginal Quality Wins against Oregon St. and Colorado. We'll put down the Beaver win as the good one. Quality Wins: OSU

Dropped Out: Alabama drops out after their OT loss to UGA who jumps in, BC whose quality win shrunk due to GT losing to a team coached by Al Groh.

Previous Weeks: 1, 2, 3

1. "So Mike, just to let you know I'm going to try to keep my job so you're gonna get 40 carries a game."
2. "Nothing like facing Joe Pa to make me look less senile."
3. "Thank the good lord, back to the Big 10 where we don't believe in having athletic quarterbacks that can torch our defense."



1. "I was going to propose two weeks ago after we beat Southern Florida, but we lost..."
2. "I was definitely going to propose last week after Miss St. but we lost."
3. "I thought about not proposing today because of that hideous dress but I have no idea when we will win another home game, so will you marry me."

1. "I'd like to thank Jesus for giving me legs. Without them none of this would be possible."
2. "I'd like to thank Jesus for allowing the Washington Huskies to be coached by Tyrone Willingham thus allowing me to run this kick back and praise Jesus."
3. "If Jesus really loved me I'd be playing at USC."


1. "Who took a dump on my head?"
2. "The black patch makes me look like a wildcat in the safari."
3. "I know I didn't play this weekend but it was Charlston Southern, can we just say I threw for 450 and 5 tds for my Heisman campaign?"






1. "Ooh Donna save it for later..."
2. "Your so much more handsome than Dumbo Larry."
3. "Actually our Defensive Tackles like Old Woman more than I do."






1. "I can't see that far, but did both of our defenders just fall down yet again?"
2. "That was tough, or not."
3. "I won't even have to wash my uniform after the game."



1. "Must we play in the Big 10? How about a few more games against Northeastern."
2. "If I recover this fumble maybe we will lose by less than 80."
3. "Atleast this is less embarrassing than losing to Duke."



1. "No sh*t. We actually can score offensive touchdowns. Who knew."
2. "Touchdown Jesus lives..."
3. [Photo Actually Taken from 2005 season]





1. "This is how you toe touch boys."
2. "I stomp on your stupid Stanford education."
3. "You see the seem work on the groin of these pants. Ya Nike knows how to make those Asians work."







1. "We just saved your job for another day."
2. "Can we bring back Patrino?"
3. "So much for the Heisman."


The End

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I think I'm set in my ways to make this a weekly spot. Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout is born.

Videos in Order Courtesy of 100% Injury Rate, Japan Probe, More 100%Injury Rate, Fanhouse, Who Ate All the Pies, More Who Ate All the Pies, MGoBlog



Rock Paper Scissors is better with Pain.



Refs should always watch for those hooks.



Them Japanese are just such innovators.



Concussions are no big Deal, I mean who cares if your vomiting right before the snap.



Soccer Brawls are hilarious. I love the running push to the head, and all of the attempted jump kicks.



How the hell do you do this?



ND Should work on their pass protection.

I understand how people get fat. You eat crappy food and you lay around, it’s easy. What I don’t understand is how you get so fat that emergency workers have to cut a giant hole in the wall of your home, haul you out with an elevated forklift and then cart you to the hospital on a flatbed truck. I was pretty overweight for a while, and I can see how it happens to people. Now apparently this guy has some disease that compels him to eat because he always feels hungry, but not all of these half-ton folks in the news have that disease. So my question is, how in the world do you let yourself get that huge? I’ve compiled a list of warning signs that you might be getting a little on the heavy side here, some from my own experience.

1. Can’t bend over to pull socks on/tie your shoes; I recommend throwing your foot up on a knee, much more easy than bending over.

2. Can knit a sweater with the amount of lint that your belly button produces

3. Can’t see your junk; Not as much of a problem for the ladies, but still, not good.

4. Can’t walk up a flight of stairs without an oxygen tank

5. Can’t walk through doorways; At this point you should be saying to yourself, “Wow, they sure don’t make doorways as wide as they used to.”

6. Can no longer get up to get yourself food; When family and friends have to bring you food, perhaps it’s time for a lifestyle change.

7. Going to the hospital requires a sawsall, among other power tool, heavy lifting equipment and a truck typically reserved for hauling automobiles.


I’ve got sympathy for fat people, really, I do, but if you are experiencing any of these symptoms, get off your ass and do something. Go for a walk, hit the gym, rub one out standing up, whatever floats your boat, just do it.

Everyone bashes Bush for different things, mostly his mishandling of the war. You know what Bush has fucked up? The damn economy. The US dollar is worth about as much as a pile of dog shit. It rots by the day and lowers in value. Getting a paycheck now is like buying a new car, the second you get it it's already decreased in value.

I went to London in 2002 and traveled around Europe a bit and the exchange rates were already a collective kick in the nuts. They were rising daily and while I was over their the Euro surpassed the dollar in value for the first time. It was just slightly over so I would lose about 5 or so cents per dollar transfer to Euro. The pound was worth $1.57 so that was also a kick in the groin. Now? It's not even fucking close. The pound is worth 2 dollars and the Euro is worth $1.40 so you better saddle yourself up at the cheapest hostel if you plan on not drowning your bank account on a European Vacation.

At the end of 2002 the US Dollar was worth $1.57 Canadian. Now? They have drawn equal. So much for a cheap trip to Montreal. Remember all those times someone gave you back a Canadian coin instead of an American coin and you were annoyed? Well now the Canadian coin is worth fucking more money. How the hell does no one think this is the worst part of the Bush administration? Our dollar is worth nothing? The lower it slips the less people will want to invest in our country and the harder and harder it will be to afford to travel outside of the country. And I enjoy traveling. Fuck.

Can we get someone in the Whitehouse that thinks the Economy is important. Bring back Broadway Bill.

I guess on the brightside if it continues at this rate we may be able to bring all of our manufacturing back to the States cause our dollar will be worth such shit that it won't matter anymore.

Note: This is probably the only time I will ever or have ever discussed politics in my life. I just can't fucking believe that Canadian money is worth more than American money. What a joke.

5. Dallas Cowboys (+3 1/2) at Chicago Bears
The Bears offense is so shitty. It just might be worse this season than last year. If the Bears do win this game they'll most likely not do so by more than a field goal, so I'll lay it on the line and take Homo and his boys.

4. New York Jets (-3 1/2) vs. Miami Dolphins
Yes this is a homer pick, I know, but the Dolphins suck. They have no offense whatsoever and their defense is getting torched on the ground. The Jets are going to win this game by more then a field goal regardless of whether Clemens or Pennington plays QB.

3. San Diego Chargers (-4 1/2) at Green Bay Packers
I probably had the Packers with a better record then just about anybody in america in the preseason. I had them winning their division and going 10-6 so if anybody was going to pick them to cover against the Chargers it would probably be me. But their playing the Chargers, do not take a beat down of the Giants and a Chargers beatdown in New England as a sign that the Packers can compete with one of the AFC's best.

2. St. Louis (+3 1/2) at Tampa Bay
I personally am not going to take a big Tampa Bay victory as a sign that they are any good. At some point in time this season Jackson is going to start looking less like a complete fantasy bust and more like the commercial of him tooling on entire defenses.

1. Carolina Panthers (-3 1/2) at Atlanta Falcons
Yes the Falcons are proving that they are amongst the most offensively inept teams in football. Granted the Panthers aren't that good, but it's a big time division matchup and Steve Smith should be able to score more points than the Falcons by himself.

Survivor League Pick: New England

Some people may want to save New England for a later week and play a little riskier so that they have the advantage down the stretch. Well after the first two weeks with people droppin out like flies. I am taking no chances, give me Superman.

Non-Spread Picks

There are some characters in this weeks waste of oxygen. Here are your contestants:

1. Teri Rhodes - When a volleyball player gets kills its typically a good thing. Not when it is regarding killing your newborn baby in the shower with a plastic bag via suffocation. Talk about scum. 2. Oscar De La Hoya - I don't know if these photos are fake but they certainly looked real to me and if they are real well Oscar might be a little bit gay. Or he might owe the mafia some money. Either way I wouldn't do the whole fish net drag thing again anytime soon. 3. Donovan McNabb - One day perhaps we will beyond this everything is a black white issue. Quarterbacks get criticized Donovan, that's how it works. And people get booed in Philadelphia. You know what probably could have saved you from criticism this week? Completing that wide open crossing route on 3rd down on monday night. 4. Charles Keith Turn - They may say he died of a heart attack now instead of just from a head butt from a cripple. But I'm sure the head butt helped induce the heart attack. Either way, the dude had no arms and was a greeting card artist, how do you get headbutted? Get Your Vote On Last Weeks Winner: Bill Belichick

Opinion Polls & Market Research

5. Texas A&M Aggies at Miami Hurricanes
Let's see if the Aggies will be a contender in the Big 12 this season. In the Hurricanes previous Big 12 showdown they got pummeled mercilessly by the Sooners. Can the Aggies follow suit? The Pick: I'm Stupidly Going to Pick the Hurricanes Again

4. Kentucky Wildcats at Arkansas Razorbacks
A week after Kentucky's biggest victory in recent memory the Wildcats are ranked and delving into their SEC schedule. A trip to a hungry and bitter Razorback squad coming off their loss to Saban's boys in Bama will be very tough. The Pick: Razorbacks Roll

3. Georgia Bulldogs at Alabama Crimson Tide
The Big SEC games roll at you every single week. Nick Saban knows this and I'm sure he tempered his teams excitement immediately following their dramatic win over the Razorbacks. For the Bulldogs this is pretty much their season, if they lose another SEC game they can kiss their division goodbye. The Gators aren't going to lose mThe Pick: Never Doubt Nick Saban

2. Penn St. Nittany Lions at Michigan Wolverines
And so the Big 10 season begins and what has the start of this season showed the Nation about the Big 10? It sucks. It sucks a lot. No one beats anyone in the Big 10. Penn St. is ranked in the top 10 and they gave up points and a lot of them to Buffalo. Buffalo sucks. Michigan got rolled in their first two games. The rest of the conference hasn't shown anything either. Here's why Michigan is looking forward to the Big 10 season. Limited amount of Mobile Quarterbacks to tear them up. Anthony Morelli isn't one of them. The Pick: Michigan Shows How Much the Big 10 Sucks by Beating the Conferences "Best" Team

1. South Carolina GameCocks at Louisiana State Tigers
I'm looking forward to the Ole Ball Coach lining up against Les Miles. The Tigers have more talent, especially on defense, but the Ole Ball Coach is well a much better ball coach. Somehow someway the Spurrier seems to find a way to put points on the board, but there is still whole most dominant defense in college football thing. One thing I know for certain is that I will be rooting for the GameCocks to pull one out in the Bayou. The Pick: LSU's defense proves to be too much which will be annoying

The only portion of the Stephen A Smith and Mike Missanelli show I enjoy is the White Man quiz. Every so often Mike Missanelli will test Stephen A's knowledge of the White World, which is minuscule to say the very least. Today he asked Stephen A to guess whom was white and whom was black out of these baseball players:

Dave Roberts
Khalil Green
Matt Kemp
Garret Atkins
Conor Jackson

Stephen A immediately responded with a chuckle and a he's definitely black after Khalil Green's name was mentioned. In the end he also said Garret Atkins was black. So 1 for 5 in a 50/50 challenge. Stephen A Knows his baseball. The nation awaits your baseball wisdom.

So today I got an email from ESPN saying you haven't drafted you Prize Eligible team yet. I had to think about what the hell that meant for a second and then realized that I got a Prize Eligible team cause their site shit the bed last year. The email came with this following note:

This is the only means to draft your team for the 2007 season. All teams will have their stats retroactively run for the first two weeks of the season based upon your drafted starting lineup. This retro process will run after your Live draft completed so you'll know if your team is 2-0, 1-1 or 0-2 immediately (draft wisely!).

Hmm, how to draft a team when you know that you could win games in earlier weeks retroactively. Do you attempt to solidify wins in the first two weeks? Or do you try to draft people that will obviously slip since they performed so poorly in the opening weeks, like Larry Johnson. I went for trying to win the opening two weeks with the thinking that if I can get 2 wins right off the bat then I am that much closer to the playoffs. So I overrated a few players with solid opening weeks, like Jamal Lewis.

And well I'm 2-0 with the second most points in the League with a Starting Roster of Romo, Gore, Jamal Lewis, Chris Brown, Laveraneus Coles, Chad Johnson, Benjamin Watson, Green Bay D and Jason Hanson. Let's see if the team doesn't collapse in the coming weeks.

Apparently there are preliminary schedules for the 2008 season which has been dug up by the Fanhouse. They have the Yankees finishing up the season in Boston, aka not finishing up the season in New York in Yankee Stadium. Instead the Mets will play their last home game of the season in Shea which is also set to be imploded come 2009. I have two points on this:

1) I don't particularly care if the Yanks play their last home game of the season at home. It shouldn't be the last game ever played at Yankee Stadium because they should be in the playoffs. If they're not in the playoffs then really whats the difference? It will be disappointing that the Stadium is done whether its the last Sunday of September or the 2nd to last Sunday.

2) Meanwhile the cross town Mets will be a little more questionable for the playoffs next season. Glavine, El Duque and Pedro will all be another year older. Who knows if Glavine even comes back. Lo Duca is a free agent, Delgado could regress even more. Who will they play in rightfield. I'm not saying they won't make the playoffs but their likelihood of missing out is higher than the Yanks. Maybe if they don't make the playoffs they can implode the stadium right after the game. It could be like an additional reason to go to the game. Take your seat home day. Or one lucky fan wins the home run apple.

So in essence this news is well, pretty meaningless.

Early today in Great Britain Chelsea Manager Jose Mourinho left by 'mutual consent', which means someone told him to get the hell out of Stamford Bridge. In his 3+ seasons with the Blues from London he has lead the club to 2 Premiership Titles and a 2nd place finish last season. The last time Chelsea won the Premiership title prior? The 1954-55 season, which just so happens to have been Chelsea's only First Division title in their history. So in a three year period he tripled their amount of titles. In addition he won the FA Cup once which they had only one three times before as well as the League Cup twice, matching their previous two trophies. Granted some of their success is due to them being bought by Billionaire Russian Roman Abromovich who burst open his piggy bank, but still success is success.

So what got him fired? An owner who makes George Steinbrenner in his angry hey day look mild in comparison. Abromivich wanted a Champions League Trophy, signifying the best team in all of Europe. Mourinho and Chelsea failed to deliver in the three years, with two Semifinal losses to Liverpool, one on Penalty Kicks and one they got screwed on, as well as an additional loss to Barca who went on to win the title. Additionally Chelsea got off to a mediocre start this season. They sit tied for 4th in the league after 6 games and they managed only a draw in their first Champions League match versus a weaker opponent. Additionally Chelsea was a defensive force and won most games an unexciting 1-0 or 2-0, and well Abromivich apparently wants to win in style. Furthermore, Abromovich insisted on spending big and bringing in superstars like German Michael Ballack and Ukranian Andriy Schevchenko instead of allowing Jose to mold the team to his desire. Neither international star has flourished at all at the Bridge.

It all makes no sense to me. The man is far and away the winningest coach in Chelsea history. He won 2 of 3 Premiership titles, and finished second the following year. He was unlucky in some of his Champions League matches but overall he is amongst the best managers in the world. And yet he still was canned. He obviously knows more football than Abromovich and should have always had control of their transfers. Maybe if they had given him control in the past they wouldn't have been bounced by Liverpool in the Semifinals last year and would have come away with last seasons Premiership Crown.

This firing certainly makes it more difficult to root for Chelsea despite the fact I picked them up as my team when I lived in London in 2002 and they have been the only club I have ever rooted for. I just don't get it, it makes little to no sense to me and I fully expect Chelsea to have a worse than average season as a result.

Considering the ESPN radio that I can and do listen to every week is ESPN's 1050 radio that's the only scheduling I really care about. So when ESPN gave Mike Tirico a 2 hour time slot from 1-3 and Stephen A the 3-4 timeslot I wondered what the kind of shakeup their would be on my radio dial since Stephen A. had previously spit out nonsense from 12-2. Well the execs of NYC have moved Stephen A's two hour timeslot to 2-4, which includes his national hour, extended Max Kellerman's show an extra hour from 10-1 and will broadcast Tirico's show for a sole hour from 2-3. Talk about a non impact signing in New York.

I can only imagine that Tirico would have required to be either the highest paid per hour at a radio station or just behind the Mike's in the Morning. So why the insignificant one hour time slot in New York. Why is Stephen A so damn important? Do they actually listen to his show? It's horrible. It makes your ears bleed.

I do see benefit here for myself though. Personally Max Kellerman, the former Around the Horn host and Boxing Guru, has grown on me a lot since 1050 used him to replace Colin Cowherd at the 10-12 slot. He does a lot of weird shit that I tend to enjoy like the Killer Animal Tournament, and he's also the biggest biased Yankee fan on New York Talk Radio. So I'm glad he's on for an extra hour. I just find it odd how ESPN is going to spend a boatload of money for Mike Tirico and only use him for a single hour in their largest market.

If you haven't been a part of the loop this past week, Barry Bond's 756th home run ball was bought by fashion designer Marc Ecko. Ecko as in the Hip Hop Clothing brand. After Ecko's purchase of the ball he designed the website vote756.com where you can place your word as to what happens to the ball. Personally I voted that an asterisk could be placed on the ball and then given to the hall of fame. I would find that moderately humorous.

Well yesterday Barry Bonds came out and expressed his opinion. Not so surprisingly he feels that Marc Ecko is a moron for spending $750,000+ on a ball which he is obviously not going to keep.

Let me offer an Easy Rubuttal for Marc:

"Hey Barry how about you shut the f*ck up. You realize that my company had 1 Billion Dollars worth of Sales last year right? That's with a B. It's my company. I have more money than you have ever dreamed of. Probably cause I don't waste the majority of my money on steroids. You realize that this is something I just felt like doing for the hell out of it, while getting a decent amount of 'free' Advertisement as well.

What is 750 thousand any way? Maybe one less Rhino Sculpture I can put in the f*cking castle I am building on my property in Jersey. Yes I live in a Massive F*cking Castle. I rule. I am a Jewish hip hop mogul living in the Suburbs, and people still love the sh*t I put out. I am a f*cking Genius. I can do whatever the f*ck I want. So go eat a d*ck Barry. I hope you have some dork software hack friends who can try to get past my security system and vote enough for the ball to go to the hall asterisk free. Else I will enjoy your ridicule when you get inducted into the hall and your ball lies next to your bust with a massive asterisk. Enjoy the rest of your life assh*le.

Oh and by the way wait until ABC, CBS or NBC pays me boatloads of money for exclusive footage of sending the ball into space or branding it."

Personally I think one of the options should have been to encase it in a Urinal in the Hall of Fame so everyone could piss on it everytime they entered Cooperstown. But I guess that's just me and liking to urinate on things.

The news broke earlier this week that Stephen A. Smith would be hosting a national radio show for a single hour on ESPN Radio. Pretty much everywhere on the Web people thought to themselves, what the hell? Why in the world are they giving loud mouthed Stephen A. Smith an hour gig?

I'm here to tell you Non Tri State Area residents that it is in fact worse than you first thought. For some reason ESPN gave the go ahead for dragging Stephen A.'s incredibly annoying sidekick nationally as well.

An easy sum up of Mike Missanelli is that he is a White Italian version of Stephen A. Smith. He's loud, he's obnoxious, he likes to pick fights and cut off callers. He refuses to admit that his point is ever wrong. The combination of the two on 1050 ESPN radio in New York is borderline downright unlistenable. During his tenure on 1050 Missanelli has made it a point to piss off every single Yankee fan and get into arguments with every Yankee fan caller. There are a lot of Yankee fan callers during the summer in New York.

In addition Missanelli has brought up some some absolutely brain dead opinions during his tenure. One of these was that he lambasted Tom Brady for wanting to witness the birth of his son. As a die-hard Jet fan, I hate Brady with as much passion as just about anybody. And yet somehow there is a valid argument against a man wanting to witness his child's birth, regardless as to whether he is still with that woman.

So nation if you thought it was bad enough that Stephen A. Smith is going to wind up on your local ESPN Radio Dials, just wait until the actual show is on. Somehow someway you will find it even louder, more obnoxious and more annoying then you were expecting.

No not a fat man that likes to draw penises on the teleprompter. The Devil Rays Manager Joe Madden does not believe in Fantasy World. This week for the vast majority of fantasy leagues is either the Championship Round in head to head leagues or the absolute stretch run in Roto Leagues and Joe Madden has decided to kick a few people in the groin and shut down one of the Devil Rays best pitchers, James Shields, for the remainder of the season.

So for what reason is Shields getting shut down? Because he has pitched a lot of innings, so he obviously needs to stop or he might get hurt. That's pretty much the reasoning. He might get hurt, even though there is nothing wrong with him and his last three starts he's given up 4 runs over 22 innings and picked up 2 Wins. So he's pitched some of his best baseball the past two weeks, he has no soreness and no injury and he needs to get shutdown. Right...

Shields certainly didn't agree with the move, and he didn't know coming into today since he has a bunch family and friends attending the game thinking they were going to watch him.

"I was pretty shocked. I'm not real happy with the full decision," Shields said. "All they told me is they want to protect my arm and protect me for next year. ... I guess they're looking out for my best interests and whatever."

Of course he was shocked, considering this came out of nowhere. Had Joe Madden mentioned this on perhaps Monday I would have been able to drop Shields and pick someone else up. Instead I'm stuck with Shields rotting on my roster for the next two weeks. At least in my other league I'm facing him in the finals...

Ah fantasy sports, the only reason why the Devil Rays matter to anyone.

~It's almost noon and I haven't written anything yet. Part of that is due to a large amount of work and part of it is I really don't have anything I really want to elaborate on in a full post. My brain appears to be mildly dead. So I guess I'll just do another set of Quick Notes.

~For those of you that are unaware of the Isiah Thomas case I recommend highly that you start paying attention. Every part of it screams MSG is poorly run. Ike has more of a problem with a white man calling a black woman and a bitch. In another deposition one MSG high up said that there is no policy against calling someone the N word. Way to go MSG.

~However, this woman has absolutely no sexual harassment case whatsoever. The whole thing is pretty much just an MSG slander campaign.

~The Yankees are fastly approaching the Red Sox. But I still think with a 2.5 game lead with only 10 and 11 games to be played respectively that they will hold on to the division crown.

~Eric Gagne has been a massively clutch pick up for the Yankees, er the Red Sox this season. It's always fun when someone walks the tying run in. Way to go Canada.

~The Tigers could have been 1 1/2 back if Jeter didn't homer against Curt on Sunday night. Instead, 2 days later they sit 4 1/2 games back, 5 in the loss column and are all but dead. In the past two their prized rookies from last season, Zumaya and Verlander, both imploded and now their 5 feet under clawing at the dirt. And they face Cy Young hopeful CC Sabathia today to possibly make it worse.

~A side note is, due the Red Sox recent hideous play, they are only a half game ahead of both of the Indians and the Angels for the best record in the American league. So not only are the Yankees steamrolling towards them, they are a sole game in the win column ahead of the Indians and Angels and could easily lose homefield advantage in the first round if they continue to struggle.

~The Mets are pretty horrendous. Back to back games they get leads and then implode. If they somehow, someway fade and lose their lead over the Phillies it will most certainly be one of the biggest collapses in baseball history. Overall the fact that they are in a race with the Phillies is piss poor. The Phillies have no starting pitching whatsoever, Utley and Howard both missed significant time and Gordon and Myers have both missed significant time. Cole Hamels missed about a month. The Mets have no excuse for not having this division locked up right now.

~The Cubbies and the Brew Crew are deadlocked. The division winner will probably have the worst record for any playoff team. Thus if the pattern from last season continues, the winner should be holding the World Series trophy come the end of October.

~I kind of hope the Dbacks go on a skid the final two weeks. I'm really not interested in their team at all. I don't quite get why they're still in first place.

~However, Micah Owings might be my hero. I'm in the Championship in one of my leagues that has CG and Shutouts as a category and I picked him up for last nights start. And he came through with a shutout. Could be the key to $300.

~The Patriots opening line against the Bills is 16 1/2. That's a college football line.

~Michigan had probably their worst start in the history of the program and yet on back to back weeks following the 0-2 start are the main game at 3:30 on ABC. Pretty ironic. This weekend versus Penn St. makes 3 straight 3:30 ABC games, as the massacre to Oregon was also an ABC headliner game.

~Hopefully this afternoon something will hit my brain that I would like to elaborate on...

~I don't know about you but I'm already completely sick of the whole Patriot-Gate thing. It's meaningless. They would have slaughtered the Jets anyway. And if perchance they've been doing this for the past 6 years, than guess what good for them. They didn't get caught, they won Championships all others are just whining losers who wish they did it themselves. I suggest everyone stop reading all articles about this, because they are all irrelevant. I even hope you skipped this Quicknote.

~I don't know how many of you caught Pam Oliver during the Giant game this weekend, but it was classic. While the Giants are getting steamrolled in the 2nd half, FOX brings up Oliver and pans to the faces of all of the Giants defensive lineman who like they are mourning a close relatives death. Oliver than chimes in with words along the lines I wish I could tell you there were some signs of leadership on this sidelines but the Giants are lifeless right no one is talking or doing anything. AKA holy sh*t they suck.

~The lone Jet Pro Bowler from 2006 is out for the season. Another thing to Celebrate fantastic.

~Note to the Broadcasters of the Raiders and Broncos game, get some friggin Q-Tips and get the wax out of your ears. It was blatantly obvious that whistles were being blown prior to the snap of Janikowski's apparent game winning field goal. Maybe if you could here you wouldn't have acted completely uninformed for a minute or so.

~If somehow I win my Survivor pool and win a boatload of money I think I owe some of it to Mike Shanahan.

~I strongly suggest going to the new NFL.com Video's page. It's pretty well done. You should also watch the Panthers highlights in case you missed them cause Steve Smith is awesome.

~The Jaguars offense is absolutely terrible.

~The Falcons Defense and Offense have given up the same amount of touchdowns thus far this season. Two a piece.

~I think the Browns are still scoring...

Every now and again people get into fights with Cripples. It's a shameful experience for all. If you knock the Cripple Out than you are a heartless human being and if you perchance get beaten up by the Cripple well you are pathetic. And then there is the case of the fight betweenCharles Keith Turn and armless William Russell Redfern.

The two got into a dispute regarding Turn's ex and Redfern's current girlfriend. During the argument a fight broke out between the two which eventually led to the girlfriend being sent to the pavement. Redfern didn't take to kindly to this and walked over and delivered a deathblow. That's right a fully functional man was killed be a cripple in a fight via headbutt.

Oh but it gets worse, not only is Redfern an armless handicap but he's also a greeting card artist who's Best Wishes Cards are sold by a Handicapped Association. That's him right there drawing a beautiful flower with his friggin toes.

I'm trying not to be 100% Heartless here, considering the man did die, but what the f*ck how do you get killed in a fight by a Greeting Card Artist who has no Arms?

Wow You Guys Suck: Cincinnati Bengals Defense,Giving up 51 points in any NFL game is absolutely pathetic. No defense should ever give up 51 points to anybody, I don't care if you're playing the unstoppable Patriots, you should not give up 51. Giving up 51 to a Derek Anderson lead Cleveland Browns squad? Wow, that's indescribably bad. Runners Up: Philadelphia Offense Continues with their Ineptitude, Maybe just maybe the Giants Defense will Give up less than 30 sometime this season.

Cough Cough Cough: Drew Brees, The Saints were supposed to be amongst the most dynamic offenses in the league. They were supposed to torch the Bucs this weekend, and yet they didn't show up. They've accomplished absolutely nothing on offense this season and that falls on Drew Brees shoulders. Runners Up: Justin McCareins might want to get some stick 'em on his damn gloves, Dante Hall way to muff a punt in clutch time.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Seattle's QB Exchange, In a tie game in your final drive when you are only a few yards away from a game winning field goal it is probably a good idea not to cross up your signals and fumble the ball away for a loss. Probably. Runner Up: Whoever thought Tarvaris Jackson was ready to be a starting NFL Quarterback, Michael Strahan for thinking that missing the entire training camp wasn't a big deal, he's gotten as close to the Quarterback as Keira Knightley has to the buffet line.

The Shocker: Cleveland Browns,This is the story of the NFL weekend. The Browns are dreadful, many people think the Bengals are going to make the playoffs, many people had them as their Survivor pool pick. And everyone was wrong. Runners Up: Tampa Bay dismantling of the New Orleans Saints, Houston throttling the Carolina Panthers.

The Pimp: Derek Anderson, I think someone could have put about 20 billion to one odds on Derek Anderson having the biggest game of any NFL player this weekend. 5 Touchdowns in the leading the Browns to a victory, who knew. Runners Up: Steve Smith yet another season where Steve Smith is the entire Carolina Panthers Offense, Brett Favre just one more QB to tear up the Giants defense.

You Got JAKKED UP: Nick Goings, Eh maybe it wasn't really a JAKKed of him more as it was a JAKKed up of the Ball. But still it was a big hit.

My Fantasy MVP: Jamal Lewis, I went 1-1 this weekend because in one league I faced Carson Palmer's 6 touchdowns, ugh, but in the league I won Jamal Lewis was huge with his 200+ yards and a touchdown. I certainly wasn't expecting that.

New York Jets MVP: Jerricho Cotchery, Some people may want to give a ton of credit to Kellen Clemens for bringing the Jets back this weekend. Myself, I think Jerricho deserves the most credit. He made some terrific catches on poorly thrown balls, and would not get tackled. He was the Jets offense this weekend.

My Picks

My Picks: 10-6
Preseason Picks: 9-7
Picks Vs. Spread: 7-9

Not a particularly good showing this weekend, especially on spread picks. Good thing I didn't gamble my money away this week. I stay alive with my Survivor pick, thanks Sebastian for missing that second field goal.

When you watch ESPN's football coverage I know that the first thing you think about is, wow this Sean Salisbury is great, I can't get enough of this guy, I wish he would text message me pictures of his dick. Well lucky for those of you that can't get enough of Sean, there will be more of Sean, in what looks like Blog form.

SeanBigMouthSalisbury.com is coming soon complete with Weekly Game Predictions (I do That), an Audio/Video Footblog (Sorry Ain't Gettin that Here), an NFL Journal (Yep I do that), and (even more bloggish) coverage of his very own Fantasy Football Team. Nothing says useless information like telling everybody about your fantasy teams, why do you think I do it so much.

Apparently appearances on every single episode of Sportscenter, along with NFL Live, video on ESPN.com and every other WWLD entity wasn't enough for the Steak lovers of the world. They need more. Unfortunately it looks like Penis Photos will be sold separately, perhaps at SeanSexuallyHarrassesCoWorkers.com.

The question that is popping in your head right now is probably, "Simon have you watched a Notre Dame game yet this season? They are averaging 2 points per game, have yet to score an offensive touchdown, have the 119th (aka last) ranked offense in all of college football, they have negative rushing yards, their defense is equally pitiful, etc. They look like they are the worst team in college football." My response to that would be yes, they suck, they suck a lot. They are a pitiful excuse of a football team, nevermind a storied football team, however I can easily find ways that this could have been a worse weekend for Notre Dame. And that's simply by looking at a few ironic results that could have fueled the fire but fortunately for ND fans were snuffed out.

The Washington Willinghams 3-0 March

Notre Dame unceremoniously dumped Tyrone Willingham after he failed to turn ND into a National power. His resume at Notre Dame wasn't terrific, 21-15 to be exact, but still he was bounced just when his prize recruit Brady Quinn was ready to become one of the best QBs in college football. It was a rough firing for Willingham and was simply done because Notre Dame's expectations are high.

Well how ironic would it have been if 3 seasons later Tyrone Willingham's Washington Huskies were 3-0 and ranked while Notre Dame's team was 0-3 and amongst the worst teams in college football. Could you imagine the coverage this would be getting? And a few minutes after half time, while ND was down 30+, it looked like the Willinghams could pull it off, they were up 7-3 with a FG attempt. Than the attempt was blocked and well the Willinghams fell apart. The Willinghams would have been 3-0 with wins over two ranked opponents and would have certainly been in the rankings this week, be thankful Notre Dame fans that you were saved this additional embarrasment for this week.

The Upset of The Week Avoided

Meanwhile across the country in Orlando, Florida former Coach of ND for a day George O'Leary was mounting a massive upset attempt against the Texas Longhorns. Throughout the entire game it looked as if the Black Knights could have taken home the biggest upset of the week.

With the ball at the start of the 4th quarter down by 6 the Black Knights pounded in a touchdown to take the lead against the 6th ranked team in the country. Imagine the extra irony here, George O'Leary lied about one inconsequential thing on his resume and was dumped by Notre Dame. Meanwhile 5+ years later he's turned Central Florida into a 2-0 squad with a win over a top ranked team. Only it wasn't to be, Texas rallied in the 4th for 2 FGs and a fumble recovery which lead to a game clinching touchdown and 35-24 lead.

See No Matter How Bad Things Are It Always Can Be Worse

So I know all of you Notre Dame fans out there are miserable and completely depressed but remember this somehow someway it can always be worse. And at the two far ends of the country Notre Dame fans were spared even more embarrasment and even more ribbing by second half rallies from Ohio St. and Texas. Just think about how easy it would have been to use these two results to insult, Willingham with a better record than Weis and O'Leary with more quality wins at UCF than Weis at ND. A 6 year old could come up with insults with that material.

So maybe just maybe ND fans can find some sort of solace from the fact that at the very least they were spared these additional cracks at their sanity.

As a Yankee fan who went to college in Massachusetts the non stop Yankee Sucks chants grew a little tiresome. I have no issue with Yankee Sucks chants when the Red Sox are playing the Yankees, in fact I think they should be encouraged. However, 9 times out of 10 the Yankee Sucks chants come in some random moment that makes no sense, like home games versus the Devil Rays or completely random like the Patriots Superbowl parades. What the hell do the Yankees have to do with the Patriots winning the Superbowl, people in Boston are just a bit obsessive over the Yankees. It was annoying, so anytime a Red Sox fan gets tooled on I find it amusing, especially when it's a ten year old.

And this is where Shelley Duncan comes in. When asked for an autograph from a little Red Sox Nation misfit he signed it Red Sox Suck, Shelley Duncan. Of course the mother of the kid is going to whine like a little bitch about how Shelley doesn't represent the Yankees well and that he shouldn't be using the word suck. You just brought your kid to a Yankee Red Sox game I'm pretty sure he was surrounded by F*ck the Yankees chants, People 100% inebriated, and some fights between Yankee and Red Sox fans. I think he can handle viewing the word sucks.

Shelley of course has no problem with what he did and that's why he's the man.

“I thought I was back in middle school or high school, where you try to make a joke or say something funny, and you end up saying something that gets you in trouble, I try to be interactive with people, be funny, have a good time and have a laugh. It’s not always Yankees fans that have us sign stuff. I try to rile ’em up and be fun. I don’t expect anybody to make a big deal about it. Nobody ever has before.”

That's what you get kid for asking for the enemies signature. Now go to the other damn dugout and get JD Drew's ink, that's gonna be worth a lot of money someday.

Remember this is all about Quality Wins so because the Big 10 and Big East never play anyone out of conference any good, none are featured in the top 11.

1. Southern Cal - For a half a second there it looked as if Nebraska just might make a fight of it. Then SC scored on practically every possession for the remainder of the game. The Trojans folks are the real deal.Quality Wins: @Nebraska

2. Louisiana State - The massacre of Tech was a phenomenal showing, however I have to temper the reaction a little bit. I'm not quite sure if Tech is as good as everyone is currently giving them credit for. They have already dumped their starting QB and have struggled to put up points all season long, to every team they've faced. Quality Wins: VaTech

3. Oregon - The Mighty Ducks Offense keeps on rolling putting up 52 on Fresno St. The best part about Oregon is that they attempted to schedule a bunch of tough games. At the Big House, games against lower conference teams like Fresno and Houston that are typically good. They are going to be tough to beat in the Pac 10. Quality Wins: Houston, @Michigan

4. Kentucky - This certainly is the first time I have ever put Kentucky anywhere near the top 11. But they atleast for this week deserve it. There were only so many teams thought to have a shot at going undefeated this season. Louisville was one, but no longer thanks to the cross state rival. Quality Wins: Louisville

5. Florida - The Gators certainly looked good this weekend but one has to question just how good the Volunteers are. They haven't been in either of their big games this season come the 4th quarter. No worries for Florida fans, they look terrific and should continue to rattle off big wins. Quality Wins: Tennessee

6. South Carolina - Surly Lee Corso isn't happy about the Gamecocks telling him to F*ck off. I don't particularly get why he should be upset, he's the one that made the dumb comment. Anyway, the win at UGA is still nice.Quality Wins: @UGA

7. Alabama - Welcome back to SEC Football Nick. Kicking a field goal while down 7 with 4 minutes left is awfully ballsy but it certainly paid off in the end. I don't know if I expect Alabama to stay in the top 11 for very long, but they certainly pulled off a solid win Quality Wins: Arkansas

8. California - The Bears win against the Volunteers looks ho hum now that Gators completely outclassed the Bears showing. Regardless the Bears started out the season strong and will be in contention for 2nd place in the Pac 10 behind USC. Quality Wins: Tennessee

9. Oklahoma - Oklahoma played another cupcake this weekend and put the hammer down. They are looking like a bona-fide national title contender and my buddy Joe and I believe that the winner of the Red River Shootout should run the table and barring an undefeated SEC school and Pac 10 school will probably make the Title game. Quality Wins: Miami

10. Boston College - The Eagles are off to a rouring head start in the ACC. 3 for 3 in the month of September and now they go into their rough out of conference schedule. Army, UMass, Bowling Green and Notre Dame... So BC is going to be 7-0 when they head to Blacksburg at the end of October. And Matt Ryan apparently wants to be a first round draft pick.Quality Wins: @GT

11. Clemson - Apparently Tommy Bowden does not believe in scheduling any kind of formidable out of conference gam, which is annoying. Woo a win a gainst Furman this weekend, Super. They hang on by a thread here this week over a few teams that dropped out Quality Wins: FSU

Dropped Out: Washington Willinghams disintegrated in the Second Half, Appalachian St. time for the Miracle Boys to be knocked out of the top 11, Wisconsin the Wazzu victory doesn't stack up, Texas neither does the TCU victory, South Florida on second thought maybe Auburn is piss poor

Previous Weeks: 1, 2

If you've seen any video on youtube this past week than you will understand why this is so damn hilarious. If not watch this. Apparently that's a boy, I have my doubts...

Courtesy of With Leather

Temple college football sucks we know and adding another loss to their resume won't kill anybody in Philadelphia, but come on. What is the point of Instant Replay if you can't get a blatantly obvious call right. Good thing this didn't happen to an SEC squad else someone might have been murdered or had their testicles ripped off.

Completely off topic but I found this pretty humorous. I doubt weatherman pull much ass so that might have been the first new breast he's fondled in awhile.

Dear All New York Jet Fans who Cheered for Clemens Last Week,

How are you enjoying the game today? Aren't you incredibly excited that Kellen Clemens is in the game with his strong arm instead of pussified armed Chad Pennington? I mean Pennington can't throw down the field right, Clemens can throw that deep pass so the Ravens defense with have to be a little more honest right?

Or, maybe just maybe their are more important things to about playing quarterback than simply having a strong arm? For example say reading a defense and figuring out where the blitz is coming from so you can either audible out of a given play, shift the protection scheme, step up in the pocket to avoid an outside blitz... Something to avoid getting drilled play after play on every single blitz.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed the pitiful first three quarters of the Jets game today. You asked for Clemens and you got him, and because you got him we haven't scored a touchdown today and have barely threatened.

Bring Back Chad,
Simon

A couple of weeks ago I chronicled how it was annoying to me how much Hype the Notre Dame Schedule was getting and that Oregon's schedule was in fact tougher and was getting absolutely no pub. Well now looking back to that comparison, I was right, but I did miss the boat with the team to compare Notre Dame's Schedule to. I overlooked an obvious comparison, the team that is currently being coached by their last head coach which they unceremoniously dumped. Tyrone Willingham and the Washington Huskies have set up the Death March of College Football Schedules.

Week 1, @Syracuse: Travel Cross Country to play in a Dome against Syracuse. Syracuse isn't very good but typical Big Conference Schools sit at home the entire first two months of the season and bring in cupcakes like Appalach... I mean like Buffalo, Temple, Duke and the Service Academies. Taking a Cross Country Trip the opening week sets up immediate jet lag.

Week 2, Boise St.: Home versus the team with the Longest Winning Streak in College Football and the Perennial Power of non-BCS Conference schools.

Week 3, Ohio St.: Home versus a team coming off of a National Championship Appearance. And by facing them a couple of weeks into the season it will have given Ohio St. a few games to gel their talent.

Week 4, @UCLA: Mighty UCLA under Karl Dorrell will be a massive hurdle for Washington.

Week 5, USC:You don't really have to elaborate why facing USC contributes to the Death March.

Week 6, @Arizona St.:Currently ASU is only one of two teams in Washington's schedule to not be ranked. However, they are 2-0 and do not play either Oregon, Cal, UCLA, or USC prior to their matchup with Washington so I'd be willing to put 50/50 odds on them being ranked on October 13th.

Week 7, Oregon: Facing the Ducks will conclude their 6 week stretch in which they play 5 different ranked opponents. Luckily most of this will be done in the friendly Husky confines however it doesn't really mean that it's any less brutal. And that's all assuming that Arizona St. isn't ranked come week 6. Anyway the Ducks slaughtered Michigan and Houston in their openers and Dixon is playing out of his head.

Week 8, Arizona: Finally a little breather for the Huskies. Arizona had some good games last season but their still amongst the worst in the Pac 10.

Week 9, @Stanford: And the easiest game on their schedule award goes to the Stanford Cardinal who have only played one game and were dropped 45-17 by UCLA. Should be a rough year for Jimmy Harbaugh.

Week 10, @Oregon St.:The Beavers might be undergoing a down season after the showing they put up in Cleveland, so this isn't a typical OSU squad.

Week 11, Cal:Cal is currently ranked #8 in the natio so not much need to elaborate here either.

Week 12, Washington St.: No matter how good Wazzu is this season it still is a rivalry game and rivalry games are always tough.

Week 13, @Hawaii: Typically heading to Hawaii at the end of a long stretch of working sounds like a pleasing agenda. However, another lengthy flight to face a top 25 season after completing a tough Pac 10 regiment sounds like a bit too much on Washington's plate.

So basically the Washington Athletic Director has decided that he doesn't really want Tyrone to win a lot of games this season. And yet Washington will probably still have more wins than Notre Dame. And that folks will be both ironic and hilarious.

More Death March Photoshops For Fun

Another Friday, another video blowout to help numb your minds for the last 3 hours of work...

Courtesy of In Order LiveLeak, 100% Injury Rate, With Leather, The Big Lead, Fanhouse, Every Day Should Be Saturday, Who Ate All the Pies



Probably made a more interesting game of it. Do you think that helps or hurts the kicker?



This one just gets your appetite wet for the next one...



I enjoy you he threw off the hat that was on fire almost immediately. Solid.



He makes fun of her and now he might just be banging her, to bad he choked against Federer.



A little tune about Cheatin Bill doesn't really make me feel much better about the beat down.



I don't know about you but Lou has me fired up to Spell USC...



Here's a way to make a pretty penny in Africa, all you need to be is a conniving Sleezeball...

So I started this here blog in May of last year cause well I needed something to start doing something to waste my free time at work. I started with basically one post a week and blossomed to more boredom at work and shoving out more and more posts.

And after 1000 posts I still have the same shitty looking site. So I need to get my ass on it and try to fix the damn layout so it actually looks semi decent. I've been attempting to do it this week with absolutely no success at all. I have absolutely no artistic skills or vision. Annoying. In fact I might be better at painting than coming up with a website layout / color scheme / design. And that's pathetic.

Anyway I don't expect to be stopping posting any time soon so the few ass clowns that read this site everyday can still expect more grammar mistakes and horrendous predictions to continue to flow out of my worthless brain. Enjoy...

Apparently Japan has launched the largest lunar mission since the American Apollo missions. Ummm, who the hell cares? Congratulations, you not only have locked up 2nd place, but it took you years of screw ups just to lock that down. Also, as far as I can tell from the article, they aren’t landing on the moon, and the mission isn’t even manned. They could have at least thrown a monkey on board for laughs right? And why in god’s name do they need 3 separate satellites to study the moon with? I can see the damn thing from here.

So somebody go tell Japan that until they have guys with sweet names like Buzz and Lance attempting to make contact with alien beings by drilling Titleists into outer space, we don’t want to hear about it. If that can’t be done, I’d settle for somebody telling Dice-K to throw like he’s got a pair tonight.

5. New England Patriots(-3 1/2) vs. San Diego Chargers
Zero. That is how much the whole controversy from this week is going to effect the Patriots. This should be a shootout. As good as the Patriots looked last week, their Defense was nothing out of the ordinary. However, their offense could obviously do whatever they wanted against the Jets. I expect much of the same this weekend, except maybe just maybe Brady gets hit once in awhile this week.

4. Detroit Lions (-3 1/2) vs. Minnesota Vikings
I'll keep on picking the Lions to cover the spread until people stop sleeping on them. I like the Vikings Defense a lot this year, but Tarvaris leaves a lot to be desired. Again I just don't think a field goal is enough of a point spread here.

3. Seattle Seahawks (-2 1/2) vs. Arizona Cardinals
I'm a little favorite heavy this weekend, but the Seahawks should be able to go into Arizona and run the ball all over the Cardinals and a 2 1/2 point spread is pretty much just predicting whether the Seahawks are going to win or not. And I definitely think the Seahawks win this game.

2. Cincinnati Bengals (-6 1/2) at Cleveland Browns
Welcome to the NFL Vegas, did you not know that the Browns gave up millions of points last week to a Steelers team that is significantly less explosive than the Bengals offense. The Browns can't make up their mind who is going to quarterback their team and their defense is atrocious, a touchdown is nothing to give in this matchup.

1. New Orleans (-3 1/2) at Tampa Bay
Apparently because New Orleans played like crap in their season opener that they are not very good, because how else can you explain only giving a fg to the Bucs who just might be the worst team in the entire NFL. Come on this ones a gimmee.

Survivor League Pick

I debated over this pick for a long time between Jacksonville, Denver, Cincy and Chicago and eventually decided to go with Denver because they are home and the Raiders are uncertain whom their starting quarterback will be this week. So lets ride the Broncos in week 2.

Non-Spread Picks

I'm two years late to the Party on this but it's too funny not to do a quick post on it. I have one of those Daily Calendars for your desk. Everyday its a little story and you have to guess whether it is Fact or Crap. Today's story was amongst the best. It read:

"A man in Oklahoma City asked for a longer prison term so it would match Larry Bird's jersey number."

FACT: "In 2005, Eric James Torpy was tried and convicted of robbery and shooting with intent to kill. He was about to be sentenced to 30 years, but decided that if he was going to serve a long term, he might as well make his sentence match the jersey number of Celtics basketball great Larry Bird. Torpy claims that Bird is his favorite basketball player, and he wanted to pay homage to "Larry Legend" with his jail sentence."

So I googled his name and found this hilarious quote:

“He said if he was going to go down, he was going to go down in Larry Bird’s jersey,” Oklahoma County District Judge Ray Elliott said Wednesday. “We accommodated his request and he was just as happy as he could be. I’ve never seen anything like this in 26 years in the courthouse. But, I know the DA is happy about it.” Freakanomics

I wonder what he would have done had his favorite player been Lawrence Taylor. Do you think he could have bargained and gotten 56 years but been able to receive some of Lawrence's crack leftovers. Perhaps that would have been a fair swap. I would guess that crack is a pretty sellable commodity when you're in the slammer. However just getting an extra three years so you can associate yourself with someone who has nor will ever talk to you is quite ludicrous. Man do I love Hicks and their stupidity

To be completely honest this wasn't the best week for the Weekly Waste of Oxygen. Perhaps I missed a few clutch douchebag moments from the week.

1. Bill Belichick - Everyone knows by now the whole Bill Belichick film stealing scenario, no need to elaborate. Whatever the commissioner decided to drop down as a punishment was going to be seen by some as harsh and by others as lenient. Either way it shouldn't effect them for this season. 2. Shawne Williams - It must be incredibly annoying to get pulled over at 12:30 in the morning for something simple like changing lanes without signaling. Up in the Northeast it's practically mandated that you don't signal ever. It's probably more annoying when you're driving without a license, and expired license plate, a stolen handgun and with a marijuana cigar still going in your ash tray. 3. Chris Mortensen & The NY Giants - I don't know about you but the contradicting report stories coming up this week about Eli is out a month, no Eli is out a day, no Eli might be out the whole season with a separated shoulder or its just a bruise. Someone make up their god damn minds and lets come to a friggin consensus. 4. The Rutgers Fans - I understand swearing at the opposing fans. Sometimes its needed and completely justified. And sometimes you're just drunk and therefore its needed and sorta justified. But don't you think you should be a little classier when the opposing fans you are dropping F bombs at will be fighting in the Navy for your country. Go Jersey.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Get Your Vote On

Last Weeks Winner: Tiki Barber

Forget about the 2007-2008 season if your a Portland Trailblazer fan. A week ago you were worried and possibly annoyed because Greg Oden was headed for non-serious 'arthroscopic' knee surgery. Well today its far far worse. When the words Microfracture Surgery get whispered around your franchise player there is cause for panic.

In all honesty the 2007-2008 season would have been filled with excitement for the Blazers fans but ended in nothing spectacular and probably without a bid to the postseason. So in reality you're not missing much, it's not as if a championship was going to come this season. But it's the future that is more terrifying, the daunting possibility that your #1 pick could lose all of his athleticism and be more Sam Bowie than David Robinson. The thought that the player you pinned your hopes on to turn your franchise into a dynasty may be dead and buried before a single game has been played.

This pain and agony comes from knowing the results of this surgery in the past. Many players have received the surgery and most come back a shell of their former athleticism. Microfracture surgery effectively turned Chris Webber from an athletic dunking machine to a high post, jump shooting, hook shot artist. For a few years Webber was able to remain productive but look at him now, he can barely get up and down the court. The hope for Blazers fans is that the surgery has grown in expertise since its inception and that the success that Amare Stoudamire has seen will be seen in Greg.

I would say that I feel for you Blazer fans, but I don't after you fleeced Brandon Roy away from us last season for Sebastian Telfair. I know it's not your fault that your GM is intelligent while the Celtics GM is a complete moron, but I'm still bitter about it, so you will get no sympathy here.

5. Ohio St. Buckeyes at Washington Huskies
2 to Nothing that is the total wins for Tyrone versus Charlie. 1 to Nothing that is in wins over top 25 teams this season. The Buckeyes looked piss poor last weekend on offense during the first half and Washington has looked good over the first two games this season so it should be more competitive than one would have thought when the schedule opened up. The Pick: Buckeyes pull away in the 4th

4. Boston College Eagles at Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
And the ACC continues with its early season, big time, in conference matchups. BC apparently wanted to get off to a running start with their conference games and are already 2-0 within the ACC. Matt Ryan has been terrific for the Eagles over their first two games and if the Eagles win this game they will be well ahead of everyone in the ACC and on the way towards their first Conference Championship. The Pick: BC Eagles

3. Arkansas Razorbacks at Alabama Crimson Tide
And the SEC gauntlet re-begins now for Nick Saban. His first important matchup with the Tide comes in a home bout versus the Razorbacks and their Heisman Hopeful do-everything Darren McFadden. It will certainly be interesting to see what kind of Magic Saban can muster this season and this matchup will be an interesting watch on Saturday. The Pick: Arkansas Sneaks by on McFadden's Back

2. Tennessee Volunteers at Florida Gators
Time to see if the Gators this season have replenished their defense this season as well as many think they have. After a few opening cupcakes the Gators get to play host to Fulmer's Pastel Orange Weenies. In addition this will be Tim Tebow's first big time matchup as the fulltime Gator Quarterback. Saturday will be a big step towards shaping the 2007 SEC Season. The Pick: Gators Eat Up Fat Fulmer

1. Southern California Trojans at Nebraska Cornhuskers
After last weeks thromping of VaTech many voters threw LSU ahead of USC in the voting. USC now has their platform to match LSU. On the road against a re-stocked classic program who could contend for the Big 12 crown, an impressive victory could get some of those votes back. The Pick: Southern Cal Shows Why They are Ranked #1

Just in case you missed it, last night David Ortiz rekindled some of his clutch magic leading the Red Sox to a 5-4 come back win in which he had all 5 RBIs, including a Walk-Off Home Run. Because MLB will take down any good video footage of the home run in a matter of hours lets just do a screen grab of how piss poor Delmon Young was at robbing the home run last night. (Click on the image to expand it)

Delmon decided, as you can see in the picture, to run to the wall 10 to 15 ft. closer to the foul pole from where the ball landed, pivot towards where the ball lands, run in circles and finally get to the spot where the ball went over the wall right as the fans in the first row go to catch the ball, which was at most head high. Only the Devil Rays could suck this badly. That probably was one of the easiest Home Run balls in the history of Major League Baseball to rob. It stayed in the air forever and landed in the first row over a wall that is approximately hip high.

And for all my ass bag Red Sox fan friends here's a video from someone who shot the HR and celebration from the stands.

At first glance the Son of God and a Southern Boy who sits in front of a camera offering thoughts on the Sporting World have absolutely nothing in common. Until you dig deeper. Than its right there in front of your face. These two men just might have been created by the same God.

Sacrifice for Humanity

Jesus: Gave his life so that the human race could enjoy the fruits of heaven.
Kige: Gives his blood, sweat and tears with each video. Sacrifices his hours shopping at Walmart with his Grandmother to provide in depth analysis for the masses.

Sullied By Their Peers

Jesus: He knew more about God and Judaism than any Jewish man on the planet and yet he was shunned for his beliefs and proclamations.
Kige: Kige was denied entrance to the Deadspin Hall of Fame despite fitting the bill perfectly.

All Knowing

Jesus: Professed to his peers the glory of living a true life and following the word of god. Plus he's the Son of God, he Spent Centuries up in Heaven watching us on YouTube.
Kige: Predicted the First Week of the NFL Season at a 100% clip. And predicted that the Michigan Wolverines would soon fall out of the top ten and were not for real.

Global Medium to Share Beliefs

Jesus: Many religions around the world are here solely to share his words.
Kige: YouTube sports is around solely to share the world the Nostradamus like predictions of Kige Ramsey.



10 More Commonalities Between Kige and Jesus

10. They are both partial to their mothers.
9. Both Enjoyed Supper with Friends & Family.
8. Both were betrayed by those close to them. Judas & Pacman Jones.
7. There is Little Evidence that Either were a Hit with the Ladies.
6. Both can stand in front of others and profess their beliefs despite any criticism brewing.
5. Both abstain from things they believe is wrong. Jesus could have turned any human into a toad, while Kige does not pick Titans games because he is biased.
4. Both may or may not have resulted from a Virgin Birth.
3. People come from far away to head their words. Jesus had his disciples while Kige has made several radio appearances.
2. Both May or May Not have Been White
1. The were both 'born' on December 25th...

There you have it Folks. Jesus and Kige definitely a production of the same omnipotent being.

Just in case you haven't laughed courtesy of Asia in a few days or weeks here are a couple of videos of people getting baseballs thrown at them at a game show to warm up your day.





Eventually we in America will realize that watching people get hit in the head with flying object and dumped into an ice cold water pit is funny. I hope that time is approaching quickly around the corner.

Courtesy of TV Japan from Red Sox Monster

When a fast muscular man is sprinting at 20 mph in your direction it might be a good idea to get out of his way.

Courtesy of 100% Injury Rate

Wow You Guys Suck: Baltimore Ravens Offense, Things you probably don't want to start the season off doing; throwing two interceptions and fumbling away the ball 4 times. Your defense is good, but it isn't good enough to overcome that. Throw in the fact that Ed Reed scored one of the Ravens touchdowns and their offense just sucks. Runners Up: Kansas City Chiefs putting up 3 points against Houston nice job, New York Defenses apparently if you're in New York you forgot how to rush the quarterback.

Cough Cough Cough: Joey Harrington, If someone told you Joey Harrington was going to lead a team to victory by throwing two touchdown passes, the typical football fan would say wow good for the Falcons and Joey Harrington stepping up for the Dog Fighter. The smart football fan would say, which Vikings returned the interceptions for touchdowns? Runners Up: ButterFingers McNair with 3 fumbles and a pick, Saints Cornerback Jason David who forgot that he is no longer a Colt.

This Scarecrow Needs a Brain: Romeo Crennel, At some point in time Romeo is going to realize that if his team sucks yet again that they he's going to be on the unemployment line and he won't be getting another head coaching job anytime soon. Atleast if he plays Brady Quinn he has a built in excuse for why they suck, and maybe just maybe if they go like 7-9 he'll be able to keep his job. So start playing Quinn. Runner Up: The Officials in the Ravens game for calling Hype on Offensive Pass Interference on what should have been a TD reception, To Philadelphia Punt returners who were the sole reason for their team losing you can fair catch the ball.

The Shocker: Houston Texans, Yes I know many people thought the Chiefs were going to be bad this season, and I even I had them at 6-10 but I didn't expect a 20-3 beatdown at the hands of the Texans. Runners Up: The Titans going into Jax and shocking the Jags perhaps Leftwich should have started, The Saints scoring 3 points on offense against the defending Superbowl champs.

The Pimp: Tony Homo, the Homo looked good probably because the Giants were falling a part left and right and because they aren't very good when healthy either. Runners Up: Peyton Manning certainly torched his former teammate with ease, The Pats O-Line they manhandled the Jets for the entire 60 minutes.

You Got JAKKED UP: Rex Grossman, As soon as a tuned int o the Bear Charger game the Bears decided that they were not going to block the Chargers left end and let him get a free run helmet into Grossman's chest. Solid strategy.

My Fantasy MVP: Eli Manning, I hyped up Eli big time for this fantasy season and drafted as one of my two QBs in both leagues and he certainly came through week 1 against the dreadful Cowboy defense. I just hope that the Giants reports are more accurate than the ESPN reports.

New York Jets MVP: Chad Pennington, Unlike the rest of the dickehead Jet fans I plan on acknowledging the fact that Pennington was the best Jet on the field this weekend. He didn't make any glaring mistakes and let two solid touchdown drives. The defense sucked, and so did the offensive line. Nothing was Pennington's fault.

My Picks

My Picks: 12-4
Preseason Picks: 12-4
Picks Vs. Spread: 10-6

I actually did well the first week of the season which is nice. Lost the Chiefs, Jags, Rams and the Cards. So if the clown fell on the ball last night I would have gone 13-3.

Last year when ND and Michigan squared off it was a battle between two top ten teams who both had national title hopes. How the world has flipped in the span of a year. Both teams are 2-0 both teams have shown absolutely no life whatsoever. And both teams will be starting a freshman quarterback on Saturday Afternoon now that Chad Henne has been declared out for Saturday's Contest. Thus piting Ryan Mallet, the #4 ranked player on Rivals.com vs. Jimmy Clausen the #1 ranked player on Rivals.com. Here are some scouting reports for the two NFL prospects.

Ryan Mallett, Texarkana (TX) Texas High -- Class of 2007

All the attention seemed to focus on Jimmy Clausen during the 2006 season, but Mallett has better physical tools and showed far more upside while playing against better competition during his high school career. Mallett is a great fit for Michigan's offense, and redshirting behind Chad Henne this season year will do wonders for his development. He has prototypical NFL size and a powerful arm to stretch the field and attack the deep zones, so don't be surprised if he ends up being a three- or four-year starter for the Wolverines. From Tom Luginbill at ESPN.com

Jimmy Clausen, Westlake Village (CA) Oaks Christian -- Class of 2007

Called a “10-year prospect” by many who cover California high school football, Clausen has put up gaudy statistics and won a state championship as a senior. What gets lost with all the talk of leading Notre Dame to the promised land and 60-plus touchdowns in a season, is that Clausen has serious football tools to back up the hype. He has a strong arm, an extremely quick release and razor sharp accuracy. He’s got excellent size and a good frame for a college or pro quarterback. His presence in the pocket and the feel he has for the game are very advanced for a high school player. You combine that with his physical tools and it’s obvious that he’s special. From Rivals.com

So as a Michigan fan, instead of being 2-0 and looking forward to pounding Notre Dame and challenging for a BCS spot, we get to watch a Notre Dame Michigan Futures game. Isn't that just lovely.

An investigation is under way as to some suspicious camera work and odd radio frequency occurrences during the Pats Jets showdown at the Meadowlands yesterday. The claim states that the Patriots may have used a camera man to steal the Jets defensive signals and broadcast them to their coaching staff. And that apparently the same camera man was taken out of Lambeau during a previous Pat game.

My response to this is... Who the hell cares? Would it surprise me if Bastard Bill tried to cheat? No. Did it matter at all during the game? No. Sure if they had their called plays it would help the Patriots offense, but would it necessarily make sure that no Jet ever penetrated the line of scrimmage or Randy Moss could outrun three different Jets for a touchdown reception? I don't think so. Regardless of whatever happens with this video, my guess is nothing, the Pats smoked the Jets yesterday and there was nothing that the Jets defense could do to stop the Patriots.

In fact I bet if the Jets knew exactly what play the Patriots were running they wouldn't have been able to stop them. It would have been like in Tecmo bowl when you guess the right play and everyone on your roster penetrates the line of scrimmage and somehow someway your opponent gets off and completes a pass through your diving cornerbacks hands. That's what it would have been like if the Jets knew the Patriots plays.

Grutt I hope you are not planning on taking Alissa to any Yankee games anytime soon...

Courtesy of College Humor from With Leather

If you can't watch this video at work it's probably because you are behind a gay firewall that doesn't like College Humor

ESPN.com again has brought back their Monday Night fan challenge which offers random prizes for people that really love their website and want to answer trivia question prior to the game, random over under questions as well as spend the entire time watching the game on ESPN.com answering more random questions. To me it's a bit much, but I'll do the occasional pregame questions if I'm board on a monday at work.

Today being the first monday I just went on and noticed something humorous. Last season the random over/unders were dubbed "Beat the Sports Guy" and brought to you by Bill Simmons. This season? They are brought to you by radio host Colin Cowherd. On the How To Play Pages they simply just copy and pasted Cowherd's name over Simmons name.

So, why is this ironic? Well for those of you out of the loop the Sports Guy and Colin Cowherd don't exactly get along too well. I wonder if we will soon here Simmons in a chat mention something along the lines of "that was a complete waste of my time, and now it's more evident as they've gotten a moron to do the same thing." Or if Cowherd mentions something along the lines of "ESPN has added me to their Monday Surround to provide Over/Unders so they are actually relevant to the NFL." Hopefully some more in fighting will come of this.

Yesterday I was a guest on a little internet talk radio show called Yankee Fan Club Radio. A couple of weeks ago the host saw one of my many posts calling Steve Phillips and idiot and asked me to come on and after a few weeks of me being busy I went on the show last night.

You can find the podcast here and I come on at around the 44 minute mark where I attempt to speak English. Surprisingly I don't sound completely gay, just mildly.

Remember this is all about Quality Wins so until USC thumps Nebraska this weekend they aren't here yet.

1. Louisiana State - Yes I know Sean Glennon sucks but that LSU team looked pretty damn good this weekend and his O-Line didn't give him much of a chance. The game was essentially over by the start of the 2nd quarter and then LSU let in rain down on the Hokies the remainder of the game. Good thing for the rest of the SEC and around the country that Les Miles is coaching LSU and usually finds a way to blow a game or two, cause they look good.Quality Wins: VaTech

2. Oregon - If App St. didn't shock Michigan last weekend their is no doubt in my mind I would have Oregon at #1. Their defense looked good enough, but Dixon looked out of this world this weekend. Quality Wins: Houston, @Michigan

3. South Carolina - Man did I enjoy the vid of the Gamecocks taking it to Corso this weekend. He is a moron. The Cocks went into Georgia and took out their division rivals and now have a head start on the rest of the teams in the SEC East. Good for the Ole Ball Coach.Quality Wins: @UGA

4. South Florida - No way the Big East won a solid out of conference game? They schedule those things? Who knew. And South Florida hasn't even really been mentioned as a contender for the Big East over Quality Wins: @Auburn

5. California - After the opening week big matchup versus Tennessee the Bears went to Colorado St. for a testing road matchup and squeeked out a victory. It may not have been by the most impressive of margins, but that's typically a tough place to play. Quality Wins: Tennessee

6. Oklahoma - So at first I had Oklahoma down as winning and then super smart Simon decided that he needed to pick an upset this weekend and well instead of taking the logical choice and pick Oregon because they have a black QB and Michigan can't stop athletic QBs, I was in denial and picked the U over Oklahoma. Bad move.Quality Wins: Miami

7. Clemson - The Tigers weren't overly impressive in their win this weekend against Lousiana Monroe but still cling onto the head start they have withing the ACC after their opening week win versus the Seminoles. Quality Wins: FSU

8. Texas - Looky here the Longhorns reemerged this weekend and handled their business. Everyone in Texas and Oklahoma if they weren't already thinking about the Red River Shootout are now. Both of these teams should be undefeated then and it will decide the Big 12 South. Quality Wins: TCU

9. Washington - Ty Willingham, 2 wins & 1 win versus a ranked opponent. Charlie Weis, 0 wins and 2 throttling at the hands of ranked opponents. Tyrone must be laughing his ass off. The problem? Their next 5 games are against Ohio St., UCLA, USC, Arizona St. and Oregon. With two later contests against Hawaii and Cal. Tell your AD to ease up on you a bit. Damn. Quality Wins: Boise St.

10. Appalachian St. - The miracle boys of week 1 look like less home run hitters after Michigan was throttled by Oregon at home. Eventually they will fade of the rankings since they will get no more quality wins this season, but for one final hoorah I'm leaving them on the board. Quality Wins: @Michigan

11. Wisconsin - This spot could have been one of many because no one really stood out in a large group of teams. I'll give it to Wisconsin because I think Wazzu could be a solid squad this season and a win at UNLV could be deamed quality at the end of the season. Quality Wins: Wazzu

Dropped Out: UGA and Auburn with losses to new entrants Southern Florida and South Carolina, Missouri the Illinois win doesn't quite stack up after week 1, WVU same with their win over Western Michigan, Wyoming same with their win over UVA, & for GaTech well ND blows.

If you were a high school girls soccer player and you really wanted to screw with your rival you could probably think of a lot of things to do. Such as paint your logo on their bench or steal their mascot you know classic high school pranks. However, the girls of Holliston High School outside of Boston did something that not even I had previous thought of. They all popped a squat on rival Medway High Schools synthetic field.

Don't worry though girls of Medway, as your field is about as clean as the Burritos you get at Taco Bells.

Hanlon Field was hand-sprayed Wednesday with “an environmentally safe” disinfectant. It will be retreated today or tomorrow.

See it's ok, it was disinfected. All that urine is completely gone. No worries. Except for the fact that people can call it Piss Field. Or the field where legends wrote their names in urine. So not only do you wear hideous looking tie die shirts but if you hit the field it will be a urine soaked tie die shirt.

What I don't get is that on the Boston Herald article they have three options as to how they should be punished. The options are tossed off the team, suspended for the Medway game, or tossed off the team and out of school. How about commended for such a wonderfully thought out prank. Can I put in a write in vote?

Showing my derangement, I think if I was a Holliston girl and I had thought of this ingenious idea, not only would I have done the squat popping but I additionally would have had a few gatorade jugs stored somewhere fulled with urine festering in the sun. Either way, well done girls of Holliston, well done.

It's pretty easy to guess the one word sum up of how I feel thus far about the football season. That sum up starts and ends with the letter D.

Coming into the season I had decent hopes. I didn't really hope for a National Championship from the Wolverines however the last thing I expected was ineptitude. Within two weeks it's evident that the Wolverines defense is horrendous. That the spread offense is effectively a plague which they have no cure. That losing multiple top draft picks on defense apparently was a huge deal. And that Chad Henne might have quarterbacked the most choke games in college football history. No bowl wins, no Buckeye wins and a loss to Appalachian St. That's an impressive resume for a 4 year starter. If they lose to ND this weekend, I might be on football suicide watch.

As for the Jets I knew the Patriots were going to be the team to beat. I knew the Jets had a much more difficult schedule this season. But I did not expect to watch the game today and think that the Jets were effectively helpless. Tom Brady sat in the pocket every single pass play for as long as he wanted. He never never got touched. Randy Moss torched the Jets cornerback on just about every single play, which shouldn't be surprising considering he was lining up against Justin Miller. Why was Justin Miller covering Randy Moss? He's a nickel back / kickoff returner / woman puncher. The Jets defense could do absolutely nothing the entire game. It was pathetic. And to top it off Pennington gets his ankle rolled over and the pathetic fan base for which I am associated with cheers because Clemens is on the field. You guys absolutely suck, dude is hobbling off the field, was playing really well and he's gutted out everything for the team during his career and you are glad Clemens runs on the field. You all are assholes. Last year I thought Jets fans were piss poor when I went to the Bills game and they showed it today. They even won Olbermann's worst person in the world award during half time.

So in the span of 3 games it is evident that Tom Brady's Patriots are light years ahead of the Jets. And that the Wolverines suck. Great.

Oh and that one word sum up. It's Depressed.

Those Koreans are an odd bunch. I don't get this at all. I hope it's a joke.

Courtesy of With Leather

MVP: Tom Brady, Eventually this ass bag is going to win the MVP award. And if the Pats have the best record in the NFL they're going to give it to him. Especially if he played the Jets 16 games during the season.

Offensive Player of the Year: LT, There's no reason for LT to decline this season. Sure he won't put up the god numbers that he had last season but he should have around 20 touchdowns and a bunch of other surrounding stats.

Defensive Player of the Year: Troy Polamalu, I'm going with the long haired wonder again this season to fly through and make a ton of plays. Whether they be sacks or INTs, Polamalu should have a big season.

Offensive Rookie of the Year: Adrian Peterson, I loved Apete coming into the season and drafted him in the 5th round of both of my fantasy drafts and through the first weekend I'm pumped about it. Him and Calvin Johnson could have a battle for rookie of the year.

Defensive Rookie of the Year: Laron Landry, Landry had a stellar career at LSU and as one of the aggressive safeties for the Redskins he should be given many opportunities to make plays.

NFL Comeback Player of the Year: Donovan McNabb, I'm not sure what they define as comeback, whether its devastating injury like McNabb or just coming back and having a stud season after a few down years like say Randy Moss. If it's injury based than I think McNabb wins it if it's either injury or re-emergence as an elite player than it will be Moss.

Kicker of the Year: Shayne Graham, Ya that's right bring back the kicker of the year category. Simply so a redhead can win an award.

400 hundred years is a long time there Lee. But I guess your predictions are pinpoint, like last week when you shat on Michigan for scheduling cupcake opponents.

So when is Brett Favre going to do the same commercial?

Sorry I didn't get out the NFL Awards predictions today, I'll try to get it out sometime prior to the games on Sunday. But we'll see lots of drinking is to be done this weekend. Anyway, what I have worked on this afternoon is a new banner. I want to attempt to make my site, slightly pretty or atleast not as blah looking as it is now so I worked with my piss poor artistic skills to create the banner above.

I'm overly found of those Keg guys. Anyway, let me know what you think. Also, I was planning on keeping relatively the same color scheme, any thoughts on that as well. My next grad class doesn't start up until the 25th so I actually have some free time at nights to attempt to prettify the site.

Oh and just in case you haven't checked these out yet I posted twice on EC this week. First on attempting to find positives in the Michigan Loss and Second on Ian Kennedy telling his future wife to delay the wedding.

Here's another attempt:

It’s tough to say what I like the most about football season, it’s hard to remember. For the last 3 seasons I’ve been stuck behind a liquor store counter on Sundays watching the games from there and it’s tough to remember what a real football Sunday is like. Sure we had a TV, but it was tiny, and being interrupted every 15 minutes to get a pint of Ruble for some drunk who is shaking like a tuning fork can really break up the flow of the game.

I can’t wait to get up at 12:30, not get dressed, not shower, turn on the TV and order something so greasy it’s not fit for human consumption. Don’t get me wrong, I ate disgusting food at the store too, like 4600 pound Boynton Special pizzas, but it just isn’t the same when you have to get dressed.

I can’t wait for the Mayne event, jacked up, and checking my fantasy stats on my own because I refuse to get stat tracker or wait until the next day. There are so many things to look forward to. Sure, the summer is winding down and it’s going to start getting cold, but this is when the real fun begins. Nothing like a wide receiver getting their ass handed to them by a HGH riddled safety to take your mind off the fact that it’s 4 degrees outside and you have to go to work tomorrow.

As you can probably tell, I pretty much had nothing for this week, so excuse the lame post. Oh yeah, and have fun at the liquor store chumps.

Now that I've broken down each division over the past two weeks it is time for me to do my playoff predictions. To wrap up here's what I see the the NFL playoff seeds lining up as.

1. NFC East Champs: Philadelphia Eagles 12-4
2. NFC South Champs: New Orleans Saints 11-5
3. NFC North Champs: Green Bay Packers 10-6
2. NFC West Champs: Seattle Seahawks 8-8
5. NFC Wildcard #1: Carolina Panthers 10-6
6. NFC Wilcard #2: Chicago Bears 9-7

1. AFC East Champs: New England Patriots 14-2
2. AFC West Champs: San Diego Chargers 14-2
3. AFC North Champs: Pittsburgh Steelers 13-3
4. AFC South Champs: Indianapolis Colts 13-3
5. AFC Wilcard #1: Cincinatii Bengals 11-5
6. AFC Wildcard #2: New York Jets 10-6


Wild Card Weekend

Chicago Bears vs. Green Bay Packers

Throughout the season Brett Favre will look like a rejuvenated version of himself. One final playoff appearance in a storied career. However, it will end the first game in as the Sex Cannon leads the Bears in Green Bay to the victory. Winner: Bears

Carolina Panthers vs. Seattle Seahawks

The Seahawks are the benefactors of the miserable NFC West and because of this get the game at home. Qwest field is one of the most difficult places in the NFL to play and the Seahawks take advantage and knock of the Panthers.Winner: Seahawks

New York Jets vs. Pittsburgh Steelers

I have the Steelers being one of the best teams in the league this season. I think Cheeseburger has a bust out season and becomes one of the best QBs in the league. That Fast Willy continues to have terrific games. But in 2005 the Jets had the Steelers beaten in Pittsburgh and threw it away. This time the Jets do not spit the bit and actually advance to the second round... One can dream right?Winner: Jets

Cincinnati Bengals vs.Indianapolis Colts

Another shootout on tab for the Colts and the Bengals at the RCA dome. The difference in this outing will be the fact that the Colts defense does suck but unlike the Bengals defense does not completely suck. The Bengals will also probably be due for a new Chris Henry arrest at this time.Winner: Colts

Divisional Playoffs

Seattle Seahawks vs. New Orleans Saints

The Saints will head into the playoffs again one of the major storylines of the NFL season. Can they do it for those that still are fighting back for normalcy. Well the Seahawks will portray the heartless villains as the head into New Orleans and rush the ball with Alexander down their throats.Winner: Seahawks

Chicago Bears vs. Philadelphia Eagles

The Eagles Bears. It just sounds good. Here's the issue with the Bears, can you ever trust the Sex Cannon to have two good games in a row? I personally think not. Meanwhile I think McNabb continues to prove that he is back and that he is one of the most underrated QBs of all time.
Winner: Eagles

New York Jets vs. New England Patriots

Another battle between the Jets and Pats, another season where they face off three times. We all know how these games end, the mentor shows that he did not teach his protege every trick in the trade. A three-peat of success in 07-08 for Bastard Bill over the Mangenious. Another season where the realization is that Tom Brady is a billion times better than Pennington and that is why the Pats are such a better team.Winner: Patriots

Indianapolis Colts vs. San Diego Chargers

The Chargers once again situate themselves with a home game come the Divisional Playoff Weekend. This year will be the same as the last. They replaced the Marty Choker with Norv Turner. Not an upgrade. Their defense will not stop Peyton and the fact that the game is played in the perfect weather of San Diego provides absolutely no home field advantage. The refusal to wear the Powder Blues in the playoffs knocks out the Chargers.Winner: Colts

Conference Championships

NFC Championship: Seattle Seahawks vs. Philadelphia Eagles

Finally the NFC Championship game. The Seahawks really don't deserve to be hear, but in reality what NFC does. The AFC dwarfs the NFC in talent and solid teams. If either the Eagles or Seahawks were in the AFC they probably wouldn't make the playoffs. The Eagles pull this one out at home as their defense is strong enough to force Hasselbeck into mistakes.
Winner and NFC Champions: Eagles

AFC Championship: Indianapolis Colts vs. New England Patriots

One more game between the Colts and the Patriots. Its what everyone wants to see. Can Peyton get it done in Foxboro this time? And the answer to this question is no, or kind of no. Peyton has gotten over the hump, he will be able to put up numbers against the Pats defense, but this is the year of JET Brady and the Patriots will not be denied. With Moss, Stallworth, Koolaid, Watson and Triple Dubwa White Wes Whelker the Pats put up 40+ in a shootout. Winner and AFC Champions: Patriots

Super Bowl XLII: Philadelphia Eagles vs. New England Patriots

A rematch of the matchup when I was in Hong Kong in 2005. This time the team with the bad ass wideout is the Patriots. Here's why everyone should love the Patriots chances this season. The Patriots had the fore site to open up enough cap room to not only sign free agents that fit well into their system, but they did not sacrifice their high draft picks to do so. Now that Harrison is out 4 weeks, Merriweather can get much more playing time which could be incredibly valuable. The Pats were able to combine some youth infusion as well as veterans into their team. And they were able to turn a major weakness in their wide receiver core into a strength.

Therefore when the Superbowl approaches the Eagles will have absolutely no shot. The only squads that the patriots could lose to reside in the AFC. Thus when they make the Superbowl and Tom Brady walks off with yet another Lombardi Trophy can someone please watch me and make sure I don't jump off a bridge.

Winner and Super Bowl XLII Champions: New England Patriots

New England Patriots

Predicted Record: 14-2
Playoff Seed: 1

Key Player: Tom Brady, Dreams of Brady getting run over by a truck continue to run through my head. And the story reamins the same if somehow someway someone can pull a Mo Lewis and knock Brady into the next century maybe just maybe the pats can suck this year. Else he stays healthy and the Pats dominate the Jets yet again. Lame. Photo from Fark

Fantasy Player to Eye: Donte Stallworth, while some jump on Randy Moss in the 4th round, I waited patiently for Donte Stallworth who should have a bigger impact to start the season and should put up consistantly solid numbers

Why the Record: First off I did the picks early last week so this was before the Seymour and Harrison PUP/Suspensions. So I think I probably would have had them losing sometime in the first four games, probably to SD. But still 14-2 is a distinct possibility given their coaching, their QB, their offseason acquisitions and the over build of the team.

Projected Wins: @NYJ, SD, BUF, @CIN, CLE, @DAL, MIA, WAS, @IND, PHI, @BUF, NYJ, MIA, @NYG
Projected Losses: @BAL, PIT,

New York Jets

Predicted Record: 10-6
Playoff Seed: 6

Key Player: Left Guard, The Jets cut Pet Kendall a few weeks ago and while that won't register with many people outside of fans of the AFC East its a big deal for the Jets. They haven't fully decided whom they will slot in between D'Brick and Mangold and if they play anything like they did during the preseason Pennington will be on the Shelf by the time the Ravens game is over in Week 2.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Leon Washington, Thomas Jones comes into the regular season slightly banged up. Meanwhile Leon Washington has already shown his quickness in the preseason with a 79 yard touchdown reception. Washington will firmly be established as the third down back and should garner a decent amount of production if Jones stays healthy. But if Jones gets injured, watchout.

Why the Record: Let's face it I can't be completely subjective with the Jets. I think 10-6 would be their high water mark this season and that's where I wound up putting them. Their defense should be much improved from last year however their offensive line struggles in the preseason is very worrisome.

Projected Wins: MIA, @BUF, NYG, BUF, WAS, @DAL, @MIA, CLE, @TEN, KC
Projected Losses: NE, @BAL, PHI, @CIN, PIT, @NE

Buffalo Bills

Predicted Record: 7-9

Key Player: Marshawn Lynch, To myself Willis McGhee was overrated. Every single year his numbers are middle of the pack running back and that is after he torches the Jets in two games for 300+ yards and 4 tds. Lynch steps in and should be able to produce and the Bills probably hope that he is more consistent with his output and I hope that he isn't a Jet Killer like Willis was.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Lee Evans, Lee Evans is a top notch fantasy wideout and unless you are a fantasy dork you probably don't know this fact. The one benefit of playing with J.P. Losman as your quarterback is that he throws a beautiful deep ball. And Lee Evans being a burner is the beneficiary of these passes.

Why the Record: The Schedule for the Bills this season is brutal. I think the Pats and the Jets are better teams than the Bills. In addition they have games against Pitt, Cincy, Baltimore, Dallas, Giants, Philadelphia, Jacksonville, and Denver. That is a downright miserable schedule.

Projected Wins: DAL, BAL, CIN, @MIA, @JAX, @WAS, NYG
Projected Losses: DEN, @PIT, @NE, NYJ, @NYJ, NE, MIA, @CLE, @PHI

Miami Dolphins

Predicted Record: 5-11

Key Player: Ronnie Brown, Ronnie was supposed to bust out last season. It didn't happen. With Trent Green still recovering from his head getting decapitated last season, and if the Dolphins don't have an effective rushing attack and teams can fire at Green at will than he's gonna get knocked the F out again. And Dolphin fans don't want to see Jay Feely or Cleo Lemon under center.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Chris Chambers, last year I thought Chambers was going to break out. And thank the good lord but someone else in my draft was just as high on Chambers and had the pick right before me. Chambers has shown flashes of being an elite QB but he and Harrington obviously didn't mix well. This year you can get Chambers 6 or 7 rounds later and perhaps their could be some solid meshing with him and Green.

Why the Record: The Team is ancient. They are old at QB. And they are really old on defense. Some of their players may in fact be mummified. They have 3 teams in the division that are better than them. They play they play the NFC East where they could potentially lose every game and they play the AFC North where again they could potentially lose every game.

Projected Wins: DAL, OAK, @BUF, BAL, CIN
Projected Losses: @WAS, @NYJ, @HOU, @CLE, NE, NYG, BUF, @PHI, @PIT, NYJ, @NE

I don't know about you but I'm under the belief that if you're running your bones probably shouldn't just break on their own. Either way, that was a solid "I just witnessed the Holocaust" face.

Philadelphia Eagles

Predicted Record: 12-4
Playoff Seed: 1

Key Player: Athletic Trainer, the Eagles are very good when they are healthy. So the key person for the Eagles is the Athletic Trainer. If he gets a lot of action than the Eagles are in trouble. However if McNabb and Kearse and Westbrook can stay on the field than they could finish where I have them. The #1 team in the NFC.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Reggie Brown, Brown is quickly emerging as a solid every week wideout. And to make his case even stronger this season, Stallworth is gone so he should be McNabb's #1 target. #1 productive wideouts are priceless in fantasy football and Brown could be a steal at where he's being selected.

Why the Record: Call me crazy but I think this is the year that the Eagles stay healthy again. They went 10-6 last season with Jeff Garcia and proclaim all you like about how well Garcia played, McNabb is light years ahead of Garcia in talent. Westbrook is also amongst the most dynamic players in the NFL and a healthy season from both of them will equal a lot of Ws.

Projected Wins: WAS, @NYG, @NYJ, CHI, DAL, @WAS, MIA, SEA, NYG, @DAL, @NO, @BUF
Projected Losses: @GB, DET, @MIN, @NE,

New York Giants

Predicted Record: 9-7

Key Player: Eli Manning, Obviously this a season with a lot of pressure on Eli's shoulder. No longer does he have a douche bag, I mean top #5 running back in his backfield. However, he still has malcontents on the wings with Shockey and Plaxico.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Sinorice Moss, It's not a Tooma is coming off a torn ACL, and while he may be able to get a solid amount of PT this season Sinorice should emerge as the #2 wideout on the G-Men.

Why the Record: The Giants defense was miserable down the stretch last season. Their secondary was horrible, they blew a few games such as the Titans Kiwi non tackle tackle. Tiki was a big loss but I think their offense is going to still put up big points. I think Jacobs will be solid out of the backfield and most of all I think Eli Manning is going to have a big breakout season.

Projected Wins: GB, @WAS, @ATL, SF, @MIA, DAL, @DET, MIN, WAS
Projected Losses: @DAL, PHI, NYJ, @CHI, @PHI, @BUF, NE

Dallas Cowboys

Predicted Record: 5-11

Key Player: Tony Homo & T.O. Chemistry, The key to the season is maintaining T.O. and Tony Homo's gay buddy buddy relationship and putting a muzzle on T.O. so he doesn't say any more stupid shit like I'd rather have Donovan McNabb as my QB. If T.O. doesn't blow up and Homo plays like he did at the tail end of last season the Cowboys could make the Superbowl like many are predicting.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Julius Jones, Personally I'm staying away from both Dallas Running Backs like the plague. However, eventually one has to think that Julius Jones, who remains the starter will get some goal line touches. Right, he'll take away some of Marion Barber's usefuleness?

Why the Record: I really can't explain why when going through each games Dallas was at the end of my picks. I guess I just think Wade Philips sucks at life, TO is due for a blowup and Tony Romo is overrated. I might have the lowest record for the Cowboys anywhere on the internet and I'm not even a Cowboy hater. Not whatsoever.

Projected Wins: NYG, @CHI, MIN, WAS, GB
Projected Losses: @MIA, STL, @BUF, NE, @PHI, @NYG, NYJ, @DET, PHI, @CAR, @WAS

Washington Redskins

Predicted Record: 3-13

Key Player: Jason Campbell, This will be Jason's first full season in the Big Leagues and I feel as if he's going to need to prove himself if he wants it to be the first of many. In 7 games starting last year he averaged under 200 yards per game and just over 1 td per game. If the Redskins want to not suck this season he's going to need to bump those up a notch or two.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Santana Moss, It's an all Moss fantasy player to eye page. Moss had a terrific 2005 and a so so 2006. One thing is for certain he is inconsistent. One day he'll put up 138 and three tds and the next he'll catch two balls. If you drafted Moss this season (i.e. me) you are hoping for some consistency.

Why the Record: Count me as one who does not believe in Jason Campbell and most certainly does not believe in the Redskins strategy to trade every single draft pick they ever get for an overpriced free agent. It hasn't worked in the past and continues to not work season after season, yet they still have not learned their lesson.

Projected Wins: MIA, ARI, DAL
Projected Losses: @PHI, NYG, DET, @GB, @NE, @NYJ, PHI, @DAL, @TB, BUF, CHI, @NYG, @MIN

Another solid week of douches. This one with a lot of brothel action. Here are your contestants:

1. Lloyd Carr - Let's see you have the #5 team in the country and you are playing a team that has never beaten a ranked team before. Why? Because no one in 1-AA ever had, and yet you prepare your team horribly. The team performs horribly and you have the biggest upset in the history of college football. 2. Tiki Barber - Just shut the hell up Tiki. Now I have to hear you on every single radio show trying to clarify that Tom Coughlin was just one of the many reasons you retired and not the sole reason. Great. How about instead of insulting your former coaches and former teammates you just shut the hell up. 3. Lucien Hoffman - Why does this happen all of the time? Is it not common knowledge that you should not lead a helpless child in the car when it's scaldingly hot outside. However, when you combine that with the fact that the reason you left your own child in the car is so that you and your teammates could attend a party at a Vegas Brothel, you've got scumbag written on your forehead. 4. Bob Buczkowski - Conversations that probably wouldn't work well in my house. Hey Mom hey Dad is it ok if I run a prostitution and drug ring from the house. Ya? Sweet that sounds good, there should only be around 100-300 people sleeping with prostitutes every day, I'll try to keep them downstairs as much as possible to keep them out of your hair.

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Last Weeks Winner: Lance Briggs

5. Texas Christian Horned Frogs at Texas Longhorns
A Battle of Texas and two ranked teams. Texas numbers weren't superb last week against Arkansas St. so there are a few question marks surrounding the Longhorns and they were dropped a few spots in the polls. Surprisingly these teams have not played in awhile, so there really isn't much of a rivalry. The Pick: Texas gets its act together

4. Oregon Ducks at Michigan Wolverines
The Wolverines as heartbroken as they must be as a team need to rebound in a big way else their coach is going to get the ax big time. For the Wolverines the 'non-cupcake' games start this weekend and in comes Oregon who will give the Wolverines defense fits. What can't Michigan defend? Running Quarterbacks. What can Oregon do? Run Dixon out of the backfield. If Dixon ends up with 200 yards on the ground I would not be shocked.The Pick: Michigan Sneaks it Out to Maintain Some of My Sanity

3. Notre Dame Fighting Irish at Penn St. Nittany Lions
Two classic teams battling it out on National Television. Here's the problem, one of them is really good and the other really isn't. If Charlie gets drubbed by another 30 points I think the stress just might bust one more of those staples. The Pick: Penn St. by a good chunk

2. Miami Hurricanes at Oklahoma Sooners
Apparently the Pollsters don't like Marshall anymore cause the Hurricanes destroyed them and yet they received no love in the polls. I'm slightly baffled by this, they had one very subpar 7-6 season, but they still have massive amounts of talents and they went 9-3 the season prior. Why does no one in the world believe in the Hurricanes? The Pick: I believe in the Hurricanes

1. Virginia Tech at Lousiana State Tigers
And finally onto the biggest game of the weekend with the odd start time, 9:15. This is arguably the biggest game for both teams this season, especially Tech. If Tech can win this game they will vault themselves up the rankings, and to the top of mine at the very least. Both teams have stellar defenses and there should be a lot of action for the punters. Turnovers will probably be the biggest key of this game.The Pick: LSU in a low scorer

1. San Diego Chargers

Predicted Record: 14-2
Playoff Seed: 2

Key Player: LT,When you have the MVP on your team its difficult and really fruitless to argue for anyone else. Michael Turner may get some hype for being one of the best backups in the league, but lets face it if LT has a down year or even worse gets injured than they're gonna see their record slip a lot.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Vincent Jackson, Everyone's favorite sleeper this season began to emerge as one of Rivers' favorite targets last season. Here's something to hold back that enthusiasm however. Jackson caught only 27 passes last year and did not record a single 100 yard game. So try to temper your expectations a little bit.

Why the Record: This is definitely their high water mark and means that just about everything went smoothly in the transition from Marty ball to Norv Turner. The talent is still their to be dominant this season, but 14-2 is probably a stretch.

Projected Wins: CHI, @GB, KC, OAK, HOU, @MIN, IND, @JAX, BAL, @KC, @TEN, DET, DEN, @OAK
Projected Losses: @NE, @DEN

2. Denver Broncos

Predicted Record: 9-7

Key Player: Jay Cutler, Last year some proclaimed him the best Quarterback in the draft and many including myself scoffed at the notion. Why would you rather have a QB that never did anything at Vandy instead of a QB that dominated college football and lead his team to two National Title Game. Well last season Cutler showed signs that maybe those people were right, and that he could be the best QB of the bunch. Well this season is pretty much on his shoulders. So go out and continue to prove those people right Jay.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Javon Walker, I don't know about you but holding my friend in my arms as while he dies of a gun shot wound would pretty much scar me beyond belief. Maybe Javon Walker can avoid thinking about it while he's on the field and perhaps he used it as a motivating factor for his offseason workouts to dedicate himself to the memory of Darrent Williams. But a fantasy has to worry about the effects of that fateful night.

Why the Record: The Broncos should have a good team this season. They added Spermanator Travis Henry to upgrade their backfield and they have Cutler with a few games under his belt. They do have a lot of difficult games on their schedule though and they can expect Cutler to lay atleast a few eggs this season.

Projected Wins: @BUF, OAK, JAX, SD, GB, TEN, @OAK, KC, MIN
Projected Losses: @IND, PIT, @DET, @KC, @CHI, @HOU, @SD,

3. Kansas City Chiefs

Predicted Record: 6-10

Key Player: Offensive Line, The offensive line is what everyone is using as the downfall of the Chiefs offense this season. During their high flying Vermeil days they had Willie Roaf and Will Shields and dominant defenses lines while scoring 35 points a game. Now both are gone, and the question is how much will it effect Larry Johnosn's production?

Fantasy Player to Eye: Tony Gonzalez, For years Tony was hands down the best tight end in fantasy. The last two years? He was a bust for where you picked him up at. I think this season his name is probably carrying where he was drafted and his owners are going to end up disappointed once again.

Why the Record: The division is a killer and so is the fact that they had the second best record in the division last year and thus get another Hermbowl at the Meadowlands and a home game versus the Bengals. Again I think I hit the worst possible record I think the Chiefs will have this season.

Projected Wins: @HOU, MIN, JAX, GB, DEN, OAK,
Projected Losses: @CHI, @SD, CIN, @OAK, @IND, SD, @DEN, TEN, @DET, @NYJ

4. Oakland Raiders

Predicted Record: 3-13

Key Player: Lane Kiffin, the key for the Oakland Raiders is for their coaching staff to come up with some way to get points on the board with the talent they have on their roster. It appears as if they are going to start McCown during week 1. He's had a few solid games in his past, but one would think that Culpepper should be the starter here. It will be interesting to see if the Raiders have any life this weekend against Detroit.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Lamont Jordan, I love drafting Jordan this season. Last year he was a 2nd round pick, which I scoffed at completely. This season he can go somewhere around the 100th pick, and he's the teams starting running back and should get the bulk of the touches throughout the game. There's some risk, but at 100 its well worth it.

Why the Record: They have no QB set in place. They come off a season where their offense was the worst in the NFL bar none. And they continue to play in the AFC West with three teams who are significantly better than them. And they wasted their #1 pick on a player who won't have any impact on this season.

Projected Wins: CLE, KC, @JAX
Projected Losses: DET, @DEN, @MIA, @SD, @TEN, HOU, CHI, @MIN, @KC, DEN, @GB, IND, SD

As you can see I'm going to go with a slightly different format this year for the picks. Instead of typing out who is going to win every game at the end of the post I'm just going to post the picture from my ESPN entry. If you want to see a larger version of the Pic just click on it. I am still however going to continue giving what I think are the 5 best options for the weekend. So lets begin:

5. San Diego Chargers (-5 1/2) vs. Chicago Bears

Have you seen that LT video? He tears up the Bears defense, and while that might be extra motivation for the Bears I don't think it matters. The Chargers were arguably the best team in the league last year, Rivers has another offseason under his belt and the Bears offense will struggle against the Chargers, I think they'll pull it out by a touchdown or more.

4. Kansas City Chiefs (+1 1/2) at Houston Texans

Why is everyone killing the Chiefs this season? How are they underdogs against the Houston Texans? I'm not saying they are going to be a stud team, but what's so different about the team this year than last year? They won a bunch of games last year with Huard at the helm. Is it simply the loss of Will Shields? Either way I don't see the Texans stopping Larry Johnson this weekend. He should end up with a boatload of money* cough yards.

3. Seattle Seahawks (-6 1/2) vs. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

Well if you read my NFC South Predictions yesterday you could tell that I think the Bucs are going to suck. And this morning I proclaimed that the Seahawks were going to win their division. At this point in time Shaun Alexander is healthy. And the Bucs suck and are old. So he should put up massive numbers this week.

2. Pittsburgh Steelers (-3 1/2) at Cleveland Browns

So I think it's pretty evident from my picks yesterday that I think the Steelers are going to be a superb team this season. And that Cheeseburger is going to have a big breakthrough. I do not however think a team led by Charlie Frye is going to do squat. To me this is a gimmee or I'm terribly wrong on the Steelers this season.

1. Detroit Lions (+2 1/2) at Oakland Raiders

Just in case you didn't analyze my Lions picks, I think they're going to get off to an extremely strong start, because they play a bunch of shitty teams like the Raiders. Here's what we know about the Raiders, they have decided whom their QB will be this week, but they haven't told anyone. You know what that sounds like? Notre Dame and they lost 33-3. While it won't be that bad, the Raiders offense is going to suck this weekend. Bank on it. And pick the Lions who should not be an underdog.

Survivor League Pick

The Survivor League pick this week is Seattle. I was debating between Pittsburgh and Seattle but have decided on Seattle with a little influence from my buddy Joe and because Seattle is at home instead of on the road. The first week always bites me in the ass so hopefully I get past that hurdle this year. For safety sake I advise you go with not Seattle.

Non-Spread Picks

And for those of you doing Non-Spread Picks, here are those picks for the week, they're same as the Week 1 Picks for the Game by Game Predictions:

1. Seattle Seahawks

Predicted Record: 8-8
Playoff Seed: 4

Key Player: Deion Branch, The Seahawks traded away their #1 wideout from last season and have essentially told Deion that he is the man. Only problem is that Deion has never really been the man. He's never had over 1000 yards in a season. The Seahawks could certainly use Deion passing that number so they could take off a bit of the load from Alexander.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Shaun Alexander, Last season people couldn't wait to drop a top three pick on Alexander. He was coming off one of the greatest seasons in the history of pro football. And this season? People are proclaiming Addai and Gore better options? Players that had one good season thus far in their careers. If Alexander stays healthy, he will again emerge amongst the top 3.

Why the Record: The Seahawks are fading strong from their Superbowl year. They traded their #1 wideout to a division rival? Alexander was banged up all season last year. The Hutcheson loss at Left Guard was incredibly significant. They should be around a .500 team give or take a few games.

Projected Wins: TB, ARI, STL, @CLE, CHI, @STL, ARI, @ATL
Projected Losses: CIN, @SF, @PIT, NO, SF, @PHI, @CAR, BAL

2. Arizona Cardinals

Predicted Record: 7-9

Key Position: Offensive Lineman, 3.4 thats a big stat that needs to improve for the Cardinals this season. What is that number? The Edge's yards per carry in 2006. If that stays so low the Cards will thrust even more pressure on the Father in Training's shoulders.

Fantasy Player to Watch: Matt Leinart, The benefit of being Matt Leinart is Fitz, Boldin and Edge. He has massive weapons around him so regardless of whether or not he has cannon arm strength he's going to put up big numbers. Just look at Pennington, he can put up Ws and some numbers occasionally and Chad's arm doesn't belong in the same sentence as Leinart's.

Why the Record: The defense, the offensive line, the lack of experience at QB, the aging of the Running Back, the new coaching staff. The Cardinals have too many shaky pieces to put together a breakout season.

Projected Wins: @SF, CAR, @TB, DET, SF, CLE, STL
Projected Losses: SEA, @BAL, PIT, @STL, @WAS, @CIN, @SEA, @NO, ATL

3. San Francisco 49ers

Predicted Record: 7-9

Key Player: Alex Smith, there were moments in time last season when Alex Smith looked like he wouldn't be a complete NFL bust. At the end of the season Smith finished with pedestrian numbers. I know Gore put up huge numbers but they need Smith's arm to bring balance to the offense.

Fantasy Player to Watch: Darrell Jackson, I really have no idea what to expect from Alex Smith this season, so I have no idea if Jackson's stats from last season will hold up. I've never particularly liked Jackson as a fantasy player and this added question mark leads me to avoid even more.

Why the Record: The 49ers are the sheek pick for many. I'm just not that big of a believer. I feel as if their a few years off and people are banking on Gore to remain an elite running back. Sometimes people are just nasty for a single season. To me I just don't trust them yet.

Projected Wins: @STL, SEA, BAL, NO, @SEA, TB, @CLE
Projected Losses:ARI, @PIT, @NYG, @ATL, STL, @ARI, @CAR, MIN, CIN

4. St. Louis Rams

Predicted Record: 7-9

Key Player: Torry Holt, Holt recently expressed that he was at only 80%, which I wish I knew prior to picking him. If he in fact cannot recover and be the consistent deep threat than the Rams offense will be much less dynamic and thus their chances of winning the division highly diminish.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Isaac Bruce or Drew Bennett, the Rams picked up Drew Bennett in the offseason to challenge for a starting receivers role. Currently Bennett is nursing a few injuries so it looks like Bruce will maintain that role. It will be something to watch as the secondary receiver in this offense should wind up with large stats.

Why the Record: There just a middle of the pack team and have been for awhile. I think there's a chance that they finish 9-7 or 10-6, so this is probably the low water mark for them this season. But Holt is already banged up, their defense is suspect and Bulger has gotten banged up in the past.

Projected Wins: CAR, @TB, @DAL, ARI, CLE, @SF, ATL
Projected Losses: SF, @BAL, @SEA, @NO, SEA, @CIN, GB, PIT, @ARI

Perhaps measuring out how far you can jump in advance is a good idea. Perhaps.

Courtesy of With Leather

So I was looking at the YouTube clip of Peterson trucking the Jets earlier this preseason and stumbled across this gem. It's not the Adrian Peterson of the Vikings but rather the Bears flavor. What a sweet run.

New Orleans Saints

Predicted Record: 11-5
Playoff Seed: #2

Key Player: Doug Marrone/Sean Payton,Last year I said they were the key to the Saints success and I continue that sentiment this season. They have so many weapons on offense that at sometimes in maybe be overload and they may try to out think what they should do. However, if they stay on the same path as last season the Saints should be on their way to the South Crown.

Fantasy Player to Eye: John Carney,I'm sticking with my guns here from last year as well. I like to draft kickers for teams I think are going to score a lot of points and move the ball well. I understand that FGs are 3 times better than a td. But an extra point is better than nothing. So draft the reliable Carney if he is there in your last round.

Why the Record: The offense. It's really that simple. This team has brought back all of its weapons, even added TE Eric Johnson, and has a year of cohesion under their belt. It will not be fun for any defense to attempt to stop them.

Projected Wins: @TB, TEN, CAR, @SEA, ATL, STL, @HOU, TB, @ATL ,ARI, @CHI
Projected Losses: @IND, @SF, JAX, @CAR, PHI

Carolina Panthers

Predicted Record: 10-6
Playoff Seed: #5

Key Player: Jake Delhomme, Over the past couple of years Delhomme hasn't really been a very good QB. He put up Ok numbers last year and missed a handful of games. They did add David Carr so atleast they have a better backup than the Wenkmeister but still they need Delhomme to start performing like a top QB.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Dwayne Jarrett, Right now Colbert might be the #2 wideout but it shouldn't take Jarrett much time to snatch up that spot given the fact that he has the exact skills that made Keyshawn a success last season. He could be a steal in the last rounds.

Why the Record: The Panthers are highly benefited by playing in the NFC South. Lets face it the Bucs and the Falcons do not have much hope for this season. Those games right there give the Panthers a significant head start. In addition if last season they had limited outputs from their rushing attack do to several injuries. If Foster and DeAngelo stay healthy they could have a potent balanced attack.

Projected Wins: HOU, @ATL, TB, @TEN, ATL, NO, SF, SEA, DAL, @TB
Projected Losses: @STL, @NO, @ARI, IND, @GB, @JAX,

Atlanta Falcons

Predicted Record: 4-12

Key Player: Bobby Petrino, Lets see how the offensive genious works out with a 1st round Draft bust at QB. An elder statesman at Wideout. A Banged up elder statesman at Running Back. And a defense that might put them behind the 8 ball.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Jerious Norwood, when your name rhymes with Serious you know you are a straight baller. Well maybe. Norwood showed some flashes in his rookie campaign and if the Falcons have any success on the offensive end chances are he is the beneficiary.

Why the Record: Too much controversy. Some people think they will circle the wagons and win some games. I just feel this is a lost season for Atlanta. They play were flat out worse than the Panthers and Saints with Vick and Harrington is a significant downgrade.

Projected Wins: SF, TB, @TB, @ARI
Projected Losses: @MIN, @JAX, CAR, HOU, @TEN, NYG, @NO, @CAR, IND, @STL, NO, SEA

Tampa Bay Bucs

Predicted Record: 2-14

Key Player: Cadillac Williams,If you drafted him last year in fantasy you kicked yourself, and Buc fans are probably kicking themselves right now for hyping him up so much the first few games. The Bucs need a rushing attack to keep their aging defense off the field and well rested and the Cadillac is the key to that.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Um Joey Galloway?, I think people think because Jeff Garcia won a bunch of games last year with the Eagles that he was a good fantasy option. He had one reat game against the Panthers and the rest were middle of the pack so so games. We'll just go with Joey Galloway cause he's really the only receiver they have.

Why the Record: Last year for some strange reason I thought the Bucs were going to be really good. I thought Chris Simms was going to sprout into a winning QB, wrong. So this year the bitterness apparently set in while making the picks and well they resulted in 2-14. Will they be that bad? Probably not, but they are going to be bad.

Projected Wins: TEN, WAS
Projected Losses: @SEA, NO, STL, @CAR, @IND, @DET, JAX, ARI, @ATL, @NO, @HOU, ATL, @SF, CAR

A 5 Friday Month the first of its kind in Weekly Waste of Oxygen History, gives you an extra scoundrel to choose from for the months award.

Week 1 Winner, Bud Selig - Look at me, I'm Bud Selig, I'm such a hard working and diligent commissioner that I went to 8 Barry Bonds games waiting for that schmuck to hit 755 and only took a few games off here and there. Shut your yap Bud no one wants to hear how hard it is to go to baseball games for free. Week 2 Winner, Ricky Williams - You would think that a man who owes so much money to the Miami Dolphins and spent so much money on weed and has declared for bankruptcy would care about cashing his checks. Well apparently not that much as some of his dough is being held by the bureau of unclaimed property in Florida. Week 3 Winner, Jose Offerman - Jose, I think the worst part about this whole thing is that you in fact got hit in the calf. The friggin calf. It's not like he threw at your head and tried to knock you out, he hit you in the calf. That doesn't even hurt that much. I hope you enjoyed ending your baseball career. Week 4 Winner, Allan Michael Beckett - If this guy isn't a runaway winner this week I will be shocked. There have been times where I've been pissed off at a Red Sox fan enough to throw him (Conidi) against the wall and tell him to shut the f* up. But never and I mean never have or will I ever think about tearing a dudes scrotum off his leg. I hope you get raped in prison a lot Mr. Beckett. Week 5 Winner, Lance Briggs - At first I just thought it was the normal get into an accident at night drunk run away from the car ordeal. But than Briggs throws a screw ball and says that he called the cops to report the vehicle stolen, and then called them to say actually it was his fault. Now it is assured he was drunk, either that or he's one of the dumbest men on the planet.

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Indianapolis Colts

Predicted Record: 13-3
Playoff Seed: 4

Key Player: Bob Sanders, It was pretty evident last season that the Colts defense was much better with Sanders in the roster. Sanders was key to them surviving playoff showdowns and another injury to him could decrease this record from 13-3 to closer to 11 wins.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Peyton Manning, All you are really watching for if you select Peyton in the first round is whether or not the Colts need to utilize his services in the final weeks aka your playoff weeks. I personally believe they will still be competing for a bye and thus need him to play every down in weeks 15 16 and 17 unlike some years in the past when he sat out halves.

Why the Record: Well they are the defending Super Bowl Champ. They bring back essentially the same fire power minus Tarik Glenn, which is a big loss but shouldn't be to dramatic of an effect. The Colts will win a lot of games this season but I think they're record will be a cut below the Chargers and Pats.

Projected Wins: NO, @TEN, @HOU, DEN, TAM, @CAR, KC, @ATL, JAX, @BAL, @OAK, HOU, TEN
Projected Losses: @JAX, NE, @SD

Jacksonville Jaguars

Predicted Record: 9-7

Key Player: David Garrard, The Jaguars have finally decided to end their QB debate and have stuck their eggs in Garrard's basket. Personally I have always thought that Leftwich was better, but the Jaguars have a difference of opinions. At the very least the disappearance of the controversy should help the Jaguars. And their defense should again be a strong point.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Maurice Jones-Drew, Jones Drew had a phenomenal rookie campaign but there are some significant question marks for him this season. Can he repeat his success from 2006? Will he continue to get goal line touches now that Greg Jones is back?

Why the Record: The Jaguars are just one of those teams that seems to be good every year and that's it. Just good, never great. I don't think Garrard or Leftwich at QB makes that much of a difference. This team should finish at around .500 or just above as I have them.

Projected Wins: TEN, ATL, HOU, IND, @TB, @NO, @TEN, CAR, @PIT
Projected Losses: @DEN, @KC, SD, BUF, @IND, OAK, @HOU

Houston Texans

Predicted Record: 7-9

Key Player: Offensive Line, It's the same old story every single year for the Texans. Can their offenseive line protect the Quarterback for long enough for the QB to actually complete a pass. Every single year there is talk of their improvement yet it never is evident. Yet again their play is key to the Texans success rate.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Andre Johnson, Everyone knows Andre is one of the best young receivers in the game. However, in past seasons he has been hindered by the fact that the only available route for him to run was a 5 yard cross. Cause that's as long as packet would allow for. So he caught a ton of balls but the yardage and td rate weren't high. But there is potential for that to change.

Why the Record: By a result of yet again having the worst record they have yet again the easiest corresponding schedule in the division. They have a lot of winnable games throughout their schedule and eventually you have to think that this franchise will win more than 5 games. That being said if they finished 8-8 or better I would be pretty shocked.

Projected Wins: @ATL, MIA, @OAK, TEN, TAM, DEN, JAX
Projected Losses: @KC, @CAR, IND, @JAX, TEN, @SD, NO , @CLE, @IND

Tennessee Titans

Predicted Record: 4-12

Key Player: Vince Young, It's obvious with the talent surrounding Vince that he is going to need to be better than ever this season for the Titans to have any kind of success rate. They really have no standout running backs or Wide Receivers on this team so if the Titans want to have more than 5 wins this season VY is going to have to avoid the Madden Curse and carry his team on his back.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Nobody, I'm staying far far away from Titans fantasy players this year. They have no QB that stands out No RB that stands out and people are jumping all over Vince Young way to early despite the fact that he will almost certainly put up Vick-esque numbers. Aka nothing special. Run away from the Titans.

Why the Record: I know Vince carried them on his back last year to wins, without much surrounding talent. But they still don't have the talent and I don't foresee the same herculean efforts. In addition the Pacmeng was a significant loss, he was emerging as a solid #1 cornerback and dynamic returner. However, if I looked at two final records after the completion of the game by game picks I think that the most sketchy would be the Titans and the Cowboys.

Projected Wins: ATL, @HOU, OAK, @KC
Projected Losses: @JAX, IND, @NO, @TAM, CAR, JAX, @DEN, @CIN, HOU, SD, NYJ, @IND

I've always not liked Nadal because well of those damn Capri pants. Who wears those things? It's neither a fashion statement nor incredibly straight. But it finally appears as if he might be going away from the Capri Pants and wearing something along the line of board shorts. The knee taping is still kind of lame, but its certainly better than the Capri. You can actually see his knee during the match. Now I know Rafi has knees, this could never have been proven prior. So kudos to you Rafael for being a little more heterosexual this week.

Unfortunately for you it apparently didn't work cause you lost last night. So more hetero but less winning, it's a trade off.

That had to suck a lot. Friggin Aaron Miles get the bat around so you don't end more of your teammates careers.

I have no Idea why this video has been marked private but its annoying. Seems like they are hogging the glory. But it's the hilarious workings of Herman Edwards saying he did a Terrible Job coaching. So he had an accurate assessment. Check it out.

But for me lets just go with some classic Herm for everyones enjoyment.

Green Bay Packers

Predicted Record: 10-6
Playoff Seed: #3

Key Player: Brett Favre, Mr. Favre, could you possibly throw more TDs than ints this season? You know so you have a solid curtain call and playoff run instead of another season where everyone wonders why the hell you are still playing.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Brandon Jackson, He has talent and he should get the bulk of the carries and he can be had in the middle rounds of fantasy drafts. He's probably a guy you'll think about in midseason saying damn I should have drafted him instead of the crappy wideout I picked instead.

Why the Record: Well a miserable division and an easy schedule really. Unlike the Bears they do not have to play the number 1 teams in the the East, West and South. For some reason I think Brett Favre actually won't suck this season and that Brandon Jackson will be solid.

Projected Wins: PHI, @MIN, WAS, MIN, CAR, @DET, OAK, @STL, @CHI, DET
Projected Losses: @NYG, SD, CHI, @DEN, @KC, @DAL

Chicago Bears

Predicted Record: 9-7
Playoff Seed: #6

Key Player: Rex Grossman, It's easily evident that the Bears need the Sex Cannon. The Sex Cannon can perform and put up big numbers or the sex cannon could take a dump on the field. Either is equally likely. During said dumps the Bears will lose.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Cedric Benson, I think Benson is due for a breakout campaign. He's got the skill and now he will get the touches which means he will put up the fantasy points.

Why the Record: The Sex Cannon will have several said dumps which will bring down the Bears. Plus their schedule isn't much fun.

Projected Wins: KC, @GB, MIN, DET, @OAK, DEN, NYG, @WAS, @MIN,
Projected Losses: @SD, DAL, @DET, @PHI, @SEA, GB, NO

Detroit Lions

Predicted Record: 9-7

Key Player: Kevin Jones or Tatum Bell, The Lions should, key word should, have a diesel passing attack with Roy and Calvin going deep and little white Furrey doing his best Chrebet impression. But their running backs leave a lot of question marks. The Lions will need one to step up for a balanced attack.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Jason Hanson, With a questionable running game but a high powered passing attack, I'm willing to bet the Lions stall a lot near the goal line. And thus the kicker becomes increasingly important and relevant in fantasy drafts. A last pick used on Hanson is a wise one.

Why the Record: Again it's playing in the NFC as well as this terrible division. Their opening schedule is a joke and I have them starting off at an incredible 5-0. While that might be a stretch I think 9-7 is a distinct possibility considering their offensive weapons.

Projected Wins: @OAK, MIN, @PHI, CHI, @WAS, TB, DEN, DAL, KC,
Projected Losses: @CHI, @ARI, NYG, GB, @MIN, @SD, @GB

Minnesota Vikings

Predicted Record: 6-10

Key Player: Tarvaris Jackson, If you don't have a quarterback in this league you don't win games. Jackson is the key to this team, well the quarterback is the key, if it ends up not being Jackson. Either way the QB needs to be able to complete some passes that way they don't face 8 man fronts all season long.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Defense, The Vikings defense gave up almost no rushing yards last season and that really shouldn't change despite Tomlin's departure. Another benefit to their defense is that because they won't be able to pass the ball on offense you can expect the Vikings to try to drown the clock with Chester and Peterson and give the D lots of breathing time on the sidelines and limited time on the field.

Why the Record: I just don't trust the QB. He hasn't shown anything yet and he's been bad in the preseason. They should be able to run the ball behind their stud left side of the line, but will they be able to put a lot of points on the board? I think not.

Projected Wins: ATL, PHI, OAK, DET, @SF, WAS
Projected Losses: @DET, @KC, GB, @CHI, @DAL, SD, @GB, @NYG, CHI, @DEN

Pittsburgh Steelers

Predicted Record: 13-3
Playoff Seed: 3

Key Player: Troy Polamalu, Troy is the glue and the drive of the defense. Last year for parts of the season he was banged up a bit and less productive than in the 2005 season and the Pittsburgh defense struggled because of it. The Steelers need Troy to be healthy all year and flying around the field making plays.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Three Day Old Cheeseburger, I'm a big believer in the Cheeseburger this year. I think he's going to bust out and put up big numbers. Last year his numbers were decent and that was coming off all the off season drama, this year football should be the only thing on his mind.

Why the Record: I believe in Cheeseburger this season. I believe that this is the year that he actually puts together terrific stats. I believe in Santonio Holmes becoming a valuable #2 option at receiver and Willie Parker continuing to show burst and big play ability. I believe in Mike Tomlin reinvigorating the Steeler defense. 13-3 might be a stretch, but they are going to be good this season.

Projected Wins: @CLE, BUF, SF, @ARI, SEA, @DEN, @CIN, CLE, @NYJ, MIA, @NE, @STL, @BAL
Projected Losses: BAL, CIN, JAX

Cincinnati Bengals

Predicted Record: 11-5
Playoff Seed: 5

Key Player: CPD, Yes the key player for Cincinnati is their local police department. The last thing the Bengals need is another distraction, it takes away from their concentration and had Carson Palmer firing out to the media about how his team couldn't behave.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Shayne Graham, Why the kicker is what you're probably asking yourself? Well its simple the Bengals should put up a ton of points this season. The more points a team puts up the more opportunities a kicker has. Maybe the Bengals will be incredibly efficient in the red zone and only offer field goals but chances are Graham gets a lot of opportunities for 3s.

Why the Record: The offense and the fact that they did not win the division last year and don't have to play the remaining AFC #1s like the Raven's do. I personally believe that the three AFC North squads are pretty close to being even but the biggest differences between the squads are the vast differences in their schedules.

Projected Wins: BAL, @CLE, @SEA, @KC, NYJ, ARI, TEN, @PIT, STL, @SF, CLE,
Projected Losses: NE, PIT, @BUF, @BAL, @MIA

Baltimore Ravens

Predicted Record: 9-7

Key Player: Offensive Line, Two things make the Ravens offensive line so important this season. First they're quarterback is old and has a vast history of getting injured. B) Willis McGahee isn't that good (unless he's playing the Jets). The Offensive line needs to be a force for the Ravens to overcome some of their offensive deficiencies.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Mark Clayton, Clayton last year began to emerge as the #1 wideout on the team. He can be had for relatively cheap in fantasy drafts and if he picks up the pace another notch this season he could be an extremely valuable pickup.

Why the Record: The schedule is amongst the most brutal in the NFL. Their division is arguably the best in the NFL, or at the very least the most top heavy and then they need to play the Chargers, Pats and Colts on top of their hard schedule. Perhaps the defense will lead them through to a shinier record, but their offense is bound to struggle.

Projected Wins: NYJ, ARI, @CLE, STL, @PIT, CIN, CLE, NE, @SEA
Projected Losses: @CIN, @SF, @BUF, @SD, IND, @MIA, PIT

Cleveland Browns

Predicted Record: 3-13

Key Player: Quarterback, who are they going to play at quarterback all season. Last year Charlie Frye played ok but this year he's got Quinn in his shadow this season. Will the added pressure make him thrive or struggle? How long will they wait to pull the trigger on Quinn? This is a team that will need production from its QB.

Fantasy Player to Eye: Jamal Lewis, maybe Jamal returns to his dominant form this year, maybe not. One thing for certain is that he should expect to see the bulk of the carries meaning if he splashes you could have gotten a stud starting running back for cheap.

Why the Record: The quarterback quandary. Who are they going to play? When will Quinn get the switch? Can Jamal Lewis be good again? Can Edwards and Winslow stay healthy? There are too many questions for the Browns.

Projected Wins: MIA, HOU, BUF
Projected Losses: PIT, CIN, @OAK, BAL, @NE, @STL, SEA, @PIT, @BAL, @ARI, @NYJ, @CIN, SF

I could watch this shit for an entire day.

Courtesy of 100% Injury Rate

See the Spurs tanked to get Tim Duncan and yet people don't complain about that. But when the Celtics suck balls people say they shouldn't get the #1 pick and God confers. And yes I'm still a little bitter.

Courtesy of TrueHoop

Some clever kids presumably at rival Virginia Tech have come up with DontFireAlGroh.com imploring people to continue the Al Groh coaching experience because of it's model of consistency. Here is their post after Virginia's loss on Sunday:

Virginia Coach Al Groh continued to be a stunning model of consistency in road games Saturday, achieving the same result as in nine of his last ten games away from Scott Stadium in a 23-3 match versus the Cowboys of Wyoming. In doing so, Groh managed to reveal almost none of his playbook to rival ACC coaches, running only 46 plays to Wyoming's exhausting 88 play over-effort. Groh also confused future conference foes by showing two quarterbacks, a gambit reminding some of his 2006 season. When asked after the game which signal caller would open the upcoming Duke contest, Groh coyly responded, "How did I know someone was going to ask that?" While it is indeed a mystery how one mortal could harness the extra sensory perception to predict such a random inquiry, it is also clear that Virginia's quarterbacks have some work to do if they wish to match Saturday's record setting 110 yard effort against the Blue Devils next week.

This just might be the best idea for a website ever, sarcasm at its very finest. Unfortunately it may work just as well as a FireAlGroh website for getting him shit canned. I mean you know you have a seriously horrendous coach when opposing colleges throw up a website saying that you should keep your coach because he is the model for atrocity. All I can say is that I am thrilled that he left the Jets after a single season. Thanks for that decision Al, and enjoy getting fired by your alma mater.

Just in case you forgot how I format my Power Rankings it essentially works as a Quality Win barometer. I judge completely subjectively who has the best wins thus far of the season and that's where the slot in. Bad Losses are also taken into consideration. Thus Appalachian St. is not the best team in the country, however they are the only team to have beaten a squad who was thought to have a chance to play in the BCS title game and thus they receive the ole #1 ranking, even though they aren't in D1.

1. Appalachian St. - They have what may amount as the biggest upset in the history of college football under their belt and perhaps it is not that surprising. They have a mobile quarterback, and Michigan is a choke artist. Maybe I'm just attempting to rationalize the irrational. Oh and I don't care if they technically can't be ranked, for this week at minimum they're here. Quality Wins: @Michigan

2. California - Berkeley is much kinder to the Bears than Rocky Top. The Bears have a lot of talent and have a chance to contend for the Pac 10 crown and this was the way to start of the season. Their next 2 games should be a cake walk and then they dive straight into Pac 10 play. Quality Wins: Tennessee

3. Clemson - Clemson got off to a massive lead before half time yesterday and just barely managed to sneak out with the victory. Regardless they thrust themselves with the win into a head start in the ACC. They've beaten one of their main competition for their division and in reality mostly have to worry about BC the remainder of the season. And their dual tailbacks are pretty good. Quality Wins: FSU

4. Auburn - Kansas St. showed signs of resurgence last season and could potentially challenge for the Big 12 crown this season. It took a touchdown drive in the final 3 minutes to take the lead and a clutch play by the defense on K St. final drive to seal the victory. Quality Wins: Kansas St.

5. Wisconsin - Wisconsin got off on the right foot, unlike a certain other Big 10 team, by pounding a Pac 10 squad at home. The Badgers unlike last year actually played somebody out of conference of mild consequence so that's good. Quality Wins: Wazzu

6. Georgia Tech - Perhaps in a week or two a win against Notre Dame will be meaningless. But as of right now the Jackets have a destruction of a storied program under they belt. An absolute mauling. And is that not a great picture of the game, two ND players on the ground and Charlie pointing and saying how about we tackle the guy, nope? Ok. Quality Wins: @Notre Dame

7. West Virginia - Directional Michigan has typically been one of the worst teams each season. However, Western Michigan had a solid defense last season and was predicted by many to take home their conference title this season and well the Mountaineers scored a lot of points.Quality Wins: Western Michigan

8. Georgia - UGA looked impressive knocking off the Cowboys. Matthew Stafford appears as if he may be a completely different QB this season, throwing for 238 yards 2 tds and no turnovers. A Solid opening victory for the Bulldogs. Quality Wins: OSU

9. Wyoming -Yes, UVA is probably a stretch for Quality Win, but they smoked them. Truly Al Groh has to be shown the door. There is tons of talent in the Virginia area to pluck, UVA seems to always have NFL ready talent and yet they always stink. Good for the Cowboys. Quality Wins: UVA

10. Oregon - Oregon got its season off on the right foot by defeating a Cougars squad that won their conference last season. The Ducks head into the Big House next week against what should be a fired up Michigan team. It will be interesting to see if Dixon who rushed for 148 yards last week can continue the trend of athletic QBs shredding the Michigan defense. Quality Wins: Houston

11. Missouri - I know Illinois is typically a bottom feeder in the Big 10, but Juice Williams has significant talent and a road win at a school that has potential to be better this season is well better than the scrub squads most other schools played. Quality Wins: @Illinois

So this morning I had Grad Class for my MBA from 9-4, that meant that I had to get my ass up at 7:30 Sh*t, Shower and Shave and drive 45 minutes to class. In essence I'm going to be in a generally worse mood than the typical saturday. So come 1 when my lunch break was up my buddy checked the scores and told me Michigan was losing.

Huh? They're playing Appalachian St.? I then realized they were the dominators of D1-AA but still, what the f*ck. So class keeps going and then I get the reports. Michigan now up, fails another 2 point conversion. Then Appalachian goes up by 2 with 26 seconds left, then Michigan gets another field goal blocked. Un-f*cking believable. I have yet to watch a single f*cking second of Michigan football this season and they've already spit the f*cking bit.

Not one God Damn second... For some stupid reason I believed that after last year maybe just maybe Michigan was done with their typical choke job in September which usually came against atleast a good Pac 10 team on the West Coast or Notre Dame. But Appalachian St., unreal.

Lloyd Carr apparently just wanted to cement how bad of a coach he is. He can't win a bowl game. He can't beat Ohio St. And he can't prepare his football team in the opening month. He is god awful, please retire, please. Michigan already lopped the head off of the Amaker Experience, its time that Lloyd move on as well.

F*CK You Lloyd

So last year I decided that I was going to pick a winner for every game of the season and that would be how I was going to do my predictions. Essentially it takes forever and I don't know if it's fully worth it but here's a game by game breakdown and over the course of this week there will be analysis for each division in the NFL along with playoff predictions and awards predictions. AKA I have a lot of writing to do this week.

Note* - I formatted Everything so it looked pretty before and Blogger decided to screw me so I'm not doing it again.

WEEK 1

New Orleans (0-1)    at      Indianapolis (1-0)

Atlanta (0-1)        at      Minnesota (1-0)

Carolina (0-1)       at      St. Louis (1-0)

Denver (1-0)         at      Buffalo (0-1)

Kansas City (1-0)    at      Houston (0-1)

Miami (0-1)          at      Washington (1-0)

New England (1-0)    at      N.Y. Jets (0-1)

Philadelphia (0-1)   at      Green Bay (1-0)

Pittsburgh (1-0)     at      Cleveland (0-1)

Tennessee (0-1)      at      Jacksonville (1-0)

Chicago (0-1)        at      San Diego (1-0)

Detroit (1-0)        at      Oakland (0-1)

Tampa Bay (0-1)      at      Seattle (1-0)

N.Y. Giants (0-1)    at      Dallas (1-0)

Baltimore (0-1)      at      Cincinnati (1-0)

Arizona (1-0)        at      San Francisco (0-1)

WEEK 2

Atlanta (0-2)        at      Jacksonville (2-0)

Buffalo (0-2)        at      Pittsburgh (2-0)

Cincinnati(2-0)      at      Cleveland (0-2)

Green Bay (1-1)      at      N.Y. Giants (1-1)

Houston (0-2)        at      Carolina (1-1)

Indianapolis (2-0)   at      Tennessee (0-2)

New Orleans (1-1)    at      Tampa Bay (0-2)

San Francisco (1-1)  at      St. Louis (1-1)

Dallas (1-1)         at      Miami (1-1)

Minnesota (1-1)      at      Detroit (2-0)

Seattle (2-0)        at      Arizona (1-1)

Kansas City (1-1)    at      Chicago (1-1)

N.Y. Jets (0-2)      at      Baltimore (1-1)

Oakland (0-2)        at      Denver (2-0)

San Diego (1-1)      at      New England (2-0)

Washington(1-1)      at      Philadelphia (1-1)

WEEK 3

Arizona (1-2)        at      Baltimore (2-1)

Buffalo (0-3)        at      New England (3-0)

Detroit (3-0)        at      Philadelphia (1-2)

Indianapolis (3-0)   at      Houston (0-3)

Miami (1-2)          at      N.Y. Jets (1-2)

Minnesota (1-2)      at      Kansas City (2-1)

San Diego (2-1)      at      Green Bay (1-2)

San Francisco (1-2)  at      Pittsburgh (3-0)

St. Louis (2-1)      at      Tampa Bay (0-3)

Cincinnati (3-0)     at      Seattle (2-1)

Cleveland (0-3)      at      Oakland (1-2)

Jacksonville (2-1)   at      Denver (3-0)

Carolina (2-1)       at      Atlanta (0-3)

N.Y. Giants (2-1)    at      Washington (1-2)

Dallas (2-1)         at      Chicago (1-2)

Tennessee (0-3)      at      New Orleans (2-1)

WEEK 4

Baltimore (3-1)      at      Cleveland (0-4)

Chicago (1-3)        at      Detroit (4-0)

Green Bay (2-2)      at      Minnesota (1-3)

Houston (1-3)        at      Atlanta (0-4)

N.Y. Jets (2-2)      at      Buffalo (0-4)

Oakland (1-3)        at      Miami (2-2)

St. Louis (3-1)      at      Dallas (2-2)

Seattle (2-2)        at      San Francisco (2-2)

Tampa Bay (0-4)      at      Carolina (3-1)

Denver (3-1)         at      Indianapolis (4-0)

Kansas City (2-2)    at      San Diego (3-1)

Pittsburgh (4-0)     at      Arizona (1-3)

Philadelphia (2-2)   at      N.Y. Giants (2-2)

New England (4-0)    at      Cincinnati (3-1)

WEEK 5

Arizona (1-4) at St. Louis (4-1)

Atlanta (0-5) at Tennessee (1-3)

Carolina (3-2) at New Orleans (3-1)

Cleveland (0-5) at New England (5-0)

Detroit (5-0) at Washington (1-3)

Jacksonville (2-2) at Kansas City (3-2)

Miami(2-3) at Houston (2-3)

N.Y. Jets (3-2) at N.Y. Giants (2-3)

Seattle (2-3) at Pittsburgh (5-0)

Tampa Bay (0-5) at Indianapolis (5-0)

Baltimore (3-2) at San Francisco (3-2)

San Diego (3-2) at Denver (4-1)

Chicago (2-3) at Green Bay (2-3)

Dallas (2-3) at Buffalo (1-4)

WEEK 6

Cincinnati (4-1) at Kansas City (3-3)

Houston (2-4) at Jacksonville (3-2)

Miami (2-4) at Cleveland (1-5)

Minnesota (1-4) at Chicago (3-3)

Philadelphia (3-2) at N.Y. Jets (3-3)

St. Louis (4-2) at Baltimore (4-2)

Tennessee (1-4) at Tampa Bay (1-5)

Washington (1-4) at Green Bay (3-3)

Carolina (3-3) at Arizona (2-4)

New England (6-0) at Dallas (2-4)

Oakland (1-4) at San Diego (4-2)

New Orleans (4-1) at Seattle (2-4)

N.Y. Giants (3-3) at Atlanta (0-6)

WEEK 7

Arizona (2-5) at Washington (2-4)

Atlanta (0-7) at New Orleans (5-1)

Baltimore (4-3) at Buffalo (2-4)

Minnesota (1-5) at Dallas (3-4)

New England (7-0) at Miami (2-5)

San Francisco (3-3) at N.Y. Giants (4-3)

Tampa Bay (1-6) at Detroit (6-0)

Tennessee(2-4) at Houston (2-5)

Kansas City (3-4) at Oakland (2-4)

N.Y. Jets (3-4) at Cincinnati (5-1)

Chicago (3-4) at Philadelphia (4-2)

St. Louis (4-3) at Seattle (3-4)

Pittsburgh (6-0) at Denver (4-2)

Indianapolis (5-1) at Jacksonville (4-2)

WEEK 8

Cleveland (1-6) at St. Louis (5-3)

Detroit (6-1) at Chicago (4-4) 

Indianapolis (6-1) at Carolina (3-4)

N.Y. Giants (5-3) at Miami (2-6)

Oakland (2-5) at Tennessee (3-4)

Philadelphia (4-3) at Minnesota (2-5) 

Pittsburgh (7-0) at Cincinnati (5-2)

Buffalo (2-5) at N.Y. Jets (4-4)

Houston (2-6) at San Diego (5-2)

Jacksonville (5-2) at Tampa Bay (1-7)

New Orleans (5-2) at San Francisco(4-3)

Washington (2-5) at New England (8-0) 

Green Bay (3-4) at Denver (5-2)

WEEK 9

Arizona (3-5) at Tampa Bay (1-8)

Carolina (4-4) at Tennessee (3-5)

Cincinnati (5-3) at Buffalo (3-5) 

Denver (5-3) at Detroit (7-1)

Green Bay (3-5)at Kansas City (4-4) 

Jacksonville (6-2) at New Orleans (5-3)

San Diego (6-2) at Minnesota(2-6)

San Francisco (4-4) at Atlanta (1-7)

Washington (2-6) at N.Y. Jets (5-4)

Seattle (4-4) at Cleveland (1-7)

Houston (3-6) at Oakland (2-6)

New England (9-0) at Indianapolis (6-2)

Dallas  (3-5)s at Philadelphia (5-3) 

Baltimore (5-3) at Pittsburgh (7-1)



WEEK 10

Atlanta (1-8) at Carolina (5-4)

Buffalo (4-5) at Miami (2-7)

Cleveland (1-8) at Pittsburgh (8-1) 

Denver (5-4) at Kansas City (5-4)

Jacksonville (7-2) at Tennessee (3-6)

Minnesota (2-7) at Green Bay (4-5)

Philadelphia(6-3) at Washington(2-7)

St. Louis (5-4) at New Orleans(6-3)

Cincinnati (5-4) at Baltimore (6-3) 

Chicago (5-4) at Oakland (2-7)

Dallas (3-6) at N.Y. Giants (6-3) 

Detroit (7-2) at Arizona (4-5)

Indianapolis (6-3) at San Diego (7-2)

San Francisco (5-4) at Seattle (4-5)

WEEK 11

Arizona (4-6) at Cincinnati (6-4)

Carolina (5-5) at Green Bay (5-5)

Cleveland(1-9) at Baltimore (7-3) 

Kansas City (5-5) at Indianapolis (7-3) 

Miami (2-8) at Philadelphia (7-3) 

New England (10-0) at Buffalo (4-6)

New Orleans (7-3) at Houston (3-7)

Oakland (2-8) at Minnesota (3-7) 

Pittsburgh (9-1) at N.Y. Jets (5-5)

San Diego (8-2) at Jacksonville (7-3)

Tampa Bay (1-9) at Atlanta (2-8)

Washington (2-8) at Dallas (4-6)

N.Y. Giants (7-3) at Detroit(7-3)

St. Louis (6-4) at San Francisco(5-5)

Chicago (5-5) at Seattle (5-5) 

Tennessee (3-7) at Denver (6-4)

WEEK 12

Green Bay (6-5) at Detroit (7-4)

N.Y. Jets (6-5) at Dallas (4-7)

Indianapolis (8-3) at Atlanta (2-9)

Buffalo(5-6) at Jacksonville (7-4)

Denver (6-5) at Chicago (6-5)

Houston (3-8) at Cleveland (2-9)

Minnesota (3-8) at N.Y. Giants (8-3)

New Orleans (7-4) at Carolina (6-5) 

Oakland(2-9) at Kansas City (6-5)

Seattle (6-5) at St. Louis (6-5)

Tennessee (3-8) at Cincinnati (7-4) 

Washington (2-9) at Tampa Bay (2-9)

San Francisco (5-6) at Arizona (5-6)

Baltimore (7-4) at San Diego (9-2)

Philadelphia (7-4) at New England (11-0)

Miami(2-9) at Pittsburgh (10-1)

WEEK 13

Green Bay (6-6) at Dallas (5-7)

Atlanta (2-10) at St. Louis (7-5)

Buffalo (6-6) at Washington (2-10)

Detroit (7-5) at Minnesota (4-8) 

Houston (4-8) at Tennessee (3-9)

Jacksonville (7-5) at Indianapolis (9-3)

N.Y. Jets (7-5) at Miami (2-10)

San Diego (10-2) at Kansas City (6-6)

Seattle (6-6) at Philadelphia (8-4)

San Francisco (5-7) at Carolina (7-5) 

Tampa Bay (2-10) at New Orleans (8-4)

Cleveland (2-10) at Arizona (6-6)

Denver (7-5) at Oakland (2-10)

N.Y. Giants (8-4) at Chicago (7-5) 

Cincinnati (8-4) at Pittsburgh (10-2)

New England (11-1) at Baltimore (8-4)

WEEK 14

Chicago (8-5) at Washington (2-11)

Carolina (7-6) at Jacksonville (8-5) 

Dallas (5-8) at Detroit (8-5)

Miami (3-10) at Buffalo (6-7)

N.Y. Giants (8-5) at Philadelphia (9-4)

Oakland (2-11) at Green Bay (7-6) 

Pittsburgh (11-2) at New England (11-2)

San Diego (11-2) at Tennessee (3-10)

St. Louis (7-6) at Cincinnati (9-4)

Tampa Bay (2-11) at Houston (5-8)

Arizona (6-7) at Seattle (7-6)

Minnesota (5-8) at San Francisco (5-8)

Cleveland (2-11) at N.Y. Jets(8-5)

Kansas City (6-7) at Denver (8-5)

Indianapolis (10-3) at Baltimore (8-5)

New Orleans (9-4) at Atlanta (2-11)



WEEK 15

Denver (8-6) at Houston (6-8) 

Cincinnati (10-4) at San Francisco (5-9)

Arizona (6-8) at New Orleans (10-4)

Atlanta (3-11) at Tampa Bay (2-12)

Baltimore (8-6) at Miami (4-10)

Buffalo (6-8) at Cleveland (3-11)

Green Bay(8-6) at St. Louis (7-7)

Jacksonville (9-5) at Pittsburgh (11-3)

N.Y. Jets (8-6) at New England (12-2)

Seattle (7-7) at Carolina (8-6) 

Tennessee(4-10) at Kansas City (6-8)

Indianapolis (11-3) at Oakland (2-12)

Detroit (8-6) at San Diego (12-2)

Philadelphia (10-4) at Dallas (5-9)

Washington (2-12) at N.Y. Giants (9-5)

Chicago (9-5) at Minnesota (5-9)



WEEK 16

Pittsburgh (12-3) at St. Louis (7-8)

Dallas (5-10) at Carolina (9-6)

Cleveland (3-12) at Cincinnati (11-4)

Green Bay (9-6) at Chicago (9-6)

Houston (6-9) at Indianapolis (12-3)

Kansas City (6-9) at Detroit (9-6)

Miami (4-11) at New England (13-2) 

N.Y. Giants (9-6) at Buffalo (7-8)

Oakland (3-12) at Jacksonville (9-6)

Philadelphia (11-4) at New Orleans (10-5)

Washington (2-13) at Minnesota (6-9) 

Atlanta (4-11) at Arizona (6-9)

Baltimore (9-6) at Seattle (7-8)

N.Y. Jets (9-6) at Tennessee (4-11)

Tampa Bay (2-13) at San Francisco (6-9)

Denver (8-7) at San Diego (13-2)



WEEK 17

New England (14-2) at N.Y. Giants(9-7)

Buffalo (7-9) at Philadelphia (12-4)

Carolina (10-6) at Tampa Bay (2-14)

Cincinnati (11-5) at Miami (5-11)

Dallas (5-11) at Washington (3-13)

Detroit (9-7) at Green Bay (10-6)

Jacksonville (9-7) at Houston (7-9)

New Orleans (11-5) at Chicago (9-7)

Pittsburgh (13-3) at Baltimore (9-7)

Seattle (8-8) at Atlanta (4-12)

San Francisco (7-9) at Cleveland (3-13)

Tennessee (4-12) at Indianapolis (13-3)

Minnesota (6-10) at Denver (9-7)

San Diego (14-2) at Oakland (3-13)

St. Louis (7-9) at Arizona (7-9)

Kansas City (6-10) at N.Y. Jets (10-6)