Here's a word for word transcript of the video, translated to English by me...
Oh Here He is With the Big Block Of Wood Award given to man who builds dam fastest with their buck teeth.
Oh Kei Now play wood piece game of nothing, look at him concentrate so long only to make a losing decision.
Oh Kei receives paper from Shogi Association for best middle hair part in all of Japan oh he is so sessy.
Kei: "I would like to thank all the Big Block of Wood association for giving me the beaver award. I always wanted to look like a Beaver and God made my dreams come true."
Questioner: "How will you succeed where Matsui has failed in suckitude?"
Kei: "I will now go to New York and be a true Japanese soldier and continue to Kamikaze myself into the Yankees battleship. See this sheet of paper this is a list of all the Americans I want to give up home runs to."
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