SimonOnSports

Taking a look around stats across MLB I came across old man river Omar Vizquel. Vizquel will never be known for his hitting considering in his 20 year career he's managed to hit over .300 just once and managed to hit double digit homers once as well. So it's not surprising that the 41 year old isn't mashing this season, but his numbers are as miserable as they could possibly be. For the season Omar is hitting .156 (19-122) and that's downright terrible. What makes it even worse is that 8 for his first 18, so that would make him 11 for his last 104 putting him at a massive .105 since May 15th. Furthermore Vizquel has only 3 extra base hits this season (all doubles) the last coming on May 21st meaning he's gone 86 at bats without recording a single one double, triple or home run. And if that wasn't bad enough for you, Omar's been even worse the last half of June. Since June 14th Omar has one single in 32 at bats. In that span he's grabbed 1 rbi, s...

For one of my courses I was tasked with coming up with a pitch for a prediction market. Essentially in a prediction market has given assets where you get paid out if an event happens and the price of the asset is essentially the group wisdom of the likelihood it will happen. So if an asset is selling at 50, than the public thinks its 50/50 that the action will happen and they will receive the 100 payout. Just think of it like gambling on predictions just in a stock way. An example of a prediction market is Tradesports.com . Anyway I wrote my paper on creating a predciction market based solely on the MLB draft so if you care to read 5+ pages of joy here's The Papel .

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time. Videos In Order Courtesy of EC, LIO , COED Mag , Hot Clicks , Sports Hernia , Unique Daily , Busted Coverage , Fanhouse , LIO She certainly isn't Abreu's daughter. If we were in the Philippines we could just watch them go at it. This is why Shaq was renowned as an awful rapper. Delicious baseball juice. Clemens adds steroids and Viagra to his breakfast blend. Oh my god that must have hurt so much. He's such a warrior. Come on that doesn't hurt at all. Ronaldo would take that like a man. Do skullets bring championships to all people? Come on John you of all people know you should finish the beer first. Sneaky sneaky. He didn't even offer a reach around.

This is arguably my favorite part of the draft. Players wearing hats for teams they never play for. Lovely: Memphis -> Minny Mayo: Minny -> Memphis Super Nintendo: Minny -> Miami Bayless: Pacers -> Blazers Rush: Blazers -> Pacers Batum: Rockets -> Blazers Dorsey: Blazers ->Rockets Arthur: NO -> Portland -> Houston -> Memphis And of course the absolute best was Darrell Arthur, who wore a New Orleans hat even though New Orleans sold the pick days ago and then he was traded twice more in the night. What a roller coaster ride.

I wondered why in the world the Celtics did not take CDR with the 30th pick, but now it all makes sense. J.R. Giddens was Paul Pierced.

Man, now I really want New Jersey Nets season tickets.

Knicks Fans will Love the Cock. It's only a matter of time.

The Nets just traded Richard Jefferson for Yi Jianlian, Bobby Simmons and the chance to sign Lebron in 2010. Hoorah another team which is basing the success of their franchise on the hope of making some massive free agent splash years in advance. The problem for the Nets is that well, unless they move to Brooklyn there ain't a chance in hell that they'll be locking up LBJ so perhaps this will get their ass in gear.

Maybe it's because I'm just in a complete pissed off mood right now, but do we need shitty stories about how any NBA draftee dreamed about playing in the NBA. Wow a kid always hoped and dreamed that he could play professional basketball, what a heartfelt story it happened for him. No shit, what did you think he dreamed of being? A janitor? Too bad I never dreamed of being in IT when I was a kid or else maybe I would have gotten a stupid F'n story written about me.

EC had the ole photoshop thing for a 50$ gift certificate and my e-card is up as one of the potential. If you feel like voting for me, go here , however lets be honest the Hank one is the best one.

Are the Lopez Twins the Product of Lurch and Spicoli? Me Thinks So.

Yesterday TJ Ford was the biggest asset utilized in a trade by the Raptors to pick up Jermaine O'Neal, and well I don't F'n get it. Perhaps I understand the Pacers wanting to start off a fresh and maybe getting the #17 pick will pay off, but to me it seems like they should have gotten more than what they ended up with. Certainly at the very least everyone has to admit that they held onto O'Neal too long and that this is a solid move for the Raptors considering Calderon is hands down a better point guard than Ford. What puzzles me most is that people in the past have compared him to Steve Nash. Why because they both play point guard are both quick and both can't play physical defense? Just in case those people haven't noticed, Steve Nash has a pure stroke. In each of his 4 years with the Suns he has shot over 50% from the floor and over 43% from three. Meanwhile Ford's career FG% is 42.9 and his career 3% is 31. The dude can't shoot. He's no...

Now that the NBA Draft is just around the bend it is time for everyone to discuss the greatest NBA Busts of all time. ESPN had a top 10 greatest busts on Sportscenter and I'm sure blogs and MSM members alike are all putting together their lists of the greatest NBA Busts of all time. But I would just like to hypothesize for a second. What would be worse for an NBA franchise? To draft a player in the lottery whom never amounts to anything and is labeled as a bust or to forfeit the pick entirely. To analyze this let me bring up a few cases of the historic NBA draft busts. Kwame Brown was drafted number 1 overall by the Washington Wizards in 2001 and was listed as ESPN's #1 draft bust of all time. He even has a website aptly named KwameBrownSucks.com devoted to the fact that he sucks. In 7 seasons in the NBA Kwame has averaged 7.5 points and 5.7 rebounds per game. His peak numbers came 03-04 when he averaged 10.9 points and 7.4 rebounds per game. These numbers certainly ...

Novak Djokovic got bounced in straight sets by the always awesome Marat Safin today and it looks as if the two celebrated the tough match with a make out session. Man on Man love, Yippy. Marat looks a bit more into it than Novak.

In my limited interest in the draft I decided to do some research on Danilo Gallinari to see just what he was about. So naturally I first went to Wikipedia to check out his entry . It didn't provide much insight, but what it did provide was a link to Danilo's website . The website of course is in Italian, but that's what Google Translate is for. So I started my perusing and guess what Danilo has his very own blog, aptly named the DBLOG. And hoorah it was time to peruse the blog using the wondrously incorrect translations provided by google. Here are some highlights with one resulting serious conclusion: His First Blog Post : I was very amused to design these pages, and in particular are very happy to have even a blog ... Not a blog any ... This will be my blog, my diary, where write everything that I passing through the mind, tenendovi always up to date on what I am doing and thinking. I like the idea to be able to compare with all who follow me, with you ... this is exa...

Just in case you needed extra incentive to root for the underdog Bulldogs, I present you with Kris Tomlinson. If a man is willing to go to such extremes of self humiliation simply in an effort to create luck for his team he deserves nation wide support. Courtesy of Friends of the Program

~I went to the Traveler's Championship (aka the golf tourney in Hartford that no foreigners play in) on Saturday and while I learned a few things I have one important piece of wisdom to share. If you attend a golf tournament in the near future I have a singular suggestion for you (other than wear sun screen) and that is find the draft beer tent. I walked around the course for multiple hours and everywhere they had typical food and beverage stands and each one was selling either Bud or Bud Light Aluminum 16 ounce bottles or Heineiken or Amstel Light 12 ounce cans for 5.75. I figured that was the typical price so I ponied up the money and had one with lunch. Than after lunch we went strolling around the lake which holes 15, 16, & 17 are built around and I saw people drinking draft beer. So I followed the trail and saw the tent in the distance with about 12 different kegs lined up. So I figured I'd see how much they were, figuring about 8 bucks, and when I get their with ...

A Quiz on NBA Draft Outfits at Mental Floss I got 10 of 12 right. Only got the first and last question wrong, both were unacceptable for me. The first was downright pathetic.

Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice shame on me. Last year I was one of the many to defend Imus and say that his firing was too extreme, well yesterday he was at it again with the racial controversy. During a conversation about Jones' run-ins with the law, Imus asked, "What color is he?" Sports announcer Warner Wolf said Jones — formerly known as Pacman — is "African-American." Imus responded: "There you go. Now we know." AP This time Imus decided he wasn't even going to remotely try to apologize rather he said people misinterpreted his statements. On Tuesday he said he was following the spirit of that promise by calling attention to the unfair treatment of blacks — in this case the arrests of suspended Dallas Cowboys cornerback Adam Jones. "What people should be outraged about is that they arrest blacks for no reason," Imus said Tuesday. "I mean, there's no reason to arrest this kid six times. Maybe he did something ...

Forgive the apathy but since the Celtics won the title and they have the last pick in the first round, I just don't care as much this year. So I pretty much just put together the picks real quick, feel free to disagree I won't argue.

When the White Sox brass decided that it was time to end their time with Jerry Manuel as the manager of their ball club they decided to replace him with a man of intense passion one with a big mouth and a history with the club and thus they chose Ozzie Guillen. In his time with the White Sox Guillen has provided one World Series ring and a whole lot of loud noises and embarrassing quote. Now, less than 5 years later it seems like all Manuel wants to be as manager of the Mets is Ozzie. After Reyes didn't run out the ball he went Gangsta "I told him next time he does that I'm going to get my blade out and cut him. I'm a gangster. You go gangster on me, I'm going to have to get you. You do that again, I'm going to cut you right on the field." And then he went all Bill Parcells on Reyes "She acted up with me, and she had a day off." When asked how Heilman handles the boos he equated Shea to a place filled with shit (highly accurate) "It's ...

Perhaps this is only relevant to those of us in the Tri-State, but Neil Best at Newsday is reporting that the Mike and the Mad Dog program just might be no longer . Apparently the two are not getting a long so well and that strain could perhaps abruptly end their show only months from their 19th anniversary. While both think they know just about everything on the planet and can be annoyingly pompous at times, they are vastly entertaining and this would deal a significant blow to my miserable hour commute. At the very least you can't say they aren't passionate about their opinions and about sports in general. Who knows if both would leave, one would get a new cohost, or this rumor even has merrit, but regardless the rumor itself is cause for concern. Michael Kay is the lone sports radio competitor in my area during the rush hour session and well I easily disagree with him. Meanwhile the FAN's mid day show of Evan and Joe , to me atleast, isn't remotely as entertain...

In the history of baseball only 2 players have racked up 100+ rbi prior to the all star game. In 1935 Hank Greenberg had 103 by the July 8th game and in 1998 steroid abuser Juan Gonzalez had 101 by the July 7th game. Well sitting at 74 rbi now, Josh Hamilton has 22 games to reach the 100 rbi total. Here's hoping he joins the club. Note: The All Star Game is a week later this year, so it wouldn't be as impressive but it'd still be solid.

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time. Videos In Order Courtesy of COED Mag , Hot Clicks , Hot Clicks *2 , The Onion , DockSquad , Fanhouse , Fanhouse *2 , Ball Don't Lie , Who Ate All the Pies , Lakers-fan.com , Tirico Suave Probably felt like a professional massage. Jon def. would have fired him on saturday to avoid paying for his flights. I hope he kept that look. He could probably play a down or two. A commercial that actually is watchable and enjoyable, as KG would say "ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE". I think Tub O' Lard may revoke his sponsorship. I despise Pryor already... and this fat guy. If only I could dunk like that guy... Stupid Brits can't even make a European tourney. The machine makes one shot cause he is machine. See that's what you get when you can't ch...

A little bit over two weeks ago I took the media to task, namely Michael Kay, for their completely incorrect criticism of how the Yankees were handling Joba. And I would like to say now only 3 weeks later that I was right you were wrong, I'm smart you're stupid, I'm stunningly handsome you have eaten one too many donuts (probably way more than 1). In 4 starts since the Yankees inserted Joba as a starter the team is 3-1 with their only loss coming in his first outing against the Toronto Blue Jays. An outing where the Yanks faced Roy Halladay so the chances of winning are incredibly diminished. An outing in which Veras and Edwar gave up 6 runs in the 7th inning. Every fan would sign up for any pitcher to go 3-1 with the lone loss coming against a Cy Young opponent. Since the first start the Yanks have gone from 2 games under .500 to 7 games over .500, but that's not really the point. The point is that this month Joba has given the Yanks 18 1/3 major league innings a...

I understand that everybody in Philadelphia hates JD Drew, hell last year everybody basically hated JD Drew even Red Sox fans (they probably turned around when he blasted a grand slam in the postseason). I understand that he dismissed your franchise and that you feel burned by him, but can we just analyze what the hell happened. Daulerio at Deadspin is a Brotherly Lovian, and pretty much is sick of the whole derogatory actions that are directed at Drew and brought up the point that it was actually the front office who failed to meet the demands which Boras laid on the table for all to know well before he was drafted. I would like to bring up a slightly different factual point that everybody ignores. And that is Pat Burrell. Contrary to popular belief when you do not sign your draft pick you actually do not lose your first round pick. Instead you get an additional pick in the next seasons draft. Thus by not signing your pick you're delaying the recruitment of talent. In the...

Every once in awhile out of curiosity I'll look up someone on ebay and see what kind of items are being sold. Today, it's Kyle Farnsworth a great american hero. As you can see, everybody wants a piece of Farny. 17 items regarding Farny and a whopping 4 have been bid on. Poor Farny, nobody loves him.

No Of Course I'm Happy... If Only Pau Wasn't Such a Bitch Why Did We Let the Machine Shoot So Much? If You Ask Me a Question about Jordan I'm Gonna Stab You I'm This Far Away From Crying

It's in predicting international soccer contests. Screw analyzing the teams that I like and follow with intense passion like the Celtics or the Jets. Or a sport that I follow daily like baseball. Nope, I just need casual observance to have a solid showing in predictions. And this brings me to my Euro 2008 predictions from two weeks ago. The first round concluded yesterday, and well if it wasn't for Peter Cech's boneheaded inability to catch a cross I would be 8 for 8 in the group selections. Instead Turkey blasted its way in the final 10 past the Czech Republic. Anyway through the first round of the ESPN Euro Pick'Em challenge I am in the 98.1 %. Now I just can't decide whether alter the order of my selections to reflect my original predictions of Italy vs. Portugal, or keep the checks as they lay now which would lead to the Dutch vs. Portugal.

I think that image pretty much sums up Scalabrine's contribution to the NBA playoffs. Stepping off the bench and onto the court a whopping zero times and only wearing a uniform when Kendrick Perkins was deactivated for the game. Yep, Scals made 3 mill this year gets an NBA title ring, and didn't have to do anything in the postseason to garner either. And he even got the opportunity to have a press conference. Yep, that guy makes 3 million dollars. It makes you feel pretty shitty about yourself doesn't it. Video Courtesy of the Fanhouse

This Shirt Tastes Like Future Fail If I Keep Them Closed Long Enough Maybe the Score Will Change I Can't Believe I'm Sitting Next to Two Soft White Guys Did Pau Just Rock a Deuce in his Shorts? Cause it Smells Like Crap Hey, How about One More Soft White Guy Joins the Bench Accurate Depiction of the NBA Finals: 5 Celtics vs 1 Kobe No Hugs for Kobe I Can't Believe You Were Better Than Me Championship Fail

So after I shoved my foot in my mouth this morning perhaps it's time for just some semblance of analysis. Simple analysis, but analysis. The Celtics were simply a better basketball team. Paul Pierce is not leaps and bounds worse than Kobe Bryant. In given games Pierce could easily match Kobe's production thus nullifying the Lakers sole advantage. The rest of the Celtics roster was simply far superior. The bench play was completely overlooked by the media coming into the game. Namely James Posey who was a force for much of the series. He knocked down huge shots and played stellar defense. Eddie House when Doc finally got it through his skull that he should played also knocked down huge shots and balanced off the court when the Cs made their huge run in game 4. Additionally House provided scoring when Allen and Pierce were not on the floor. Finally Powe dominated game 2 and was the biggest reason they won that game. The biggest reason the Celtics won this series? They ar...

If there's one consistent topic I've been wrong about since this blogs inception than its the Boston Celtics (other than predicting them to win the title this year of course). So let's take a look back at all of my miserable opinions from the start of this blog. The first of which was one of my first basketball posts at this here blog regarding my assessment of the 2006 NBA Draft . I thought the Celtics needed a distributor, someone who could make open jump shots and run an offense I thought they needed a big time point guard and I thought they needed Marcus Williams. So when they picked Rondo a player who proved in college he couldn't shoot I thought it was incredibly poor decision. (Trading the #8 pick which turned out to be Brandon Roy for Bassy was still a very dumb decision). I was continually hard on Rondo throughout his rookie season and coming into this season in my post about finding the next Celtics point guard I said "...the biggest need for the squ...