Phil Mickelson's Hidden Endorsements

Thursday, June 05, 2008

SI recently completed their annual list of the top 50 earning US athletes and semi surprisingly the top earners were both professional golfers. The first being Tiger Woods of course but the second being Phil Mickelson who made a staggering 62+ million dollars last year. Golf.com chronicled some of Phil's endorsement deals which brought in a total of 53$ million dollars but they missed some significant deals which I am here to share.

The Bro = $1 Million + Lifetime Supply


How do you keep your man breasts firm and supple for your entire playing career? The Bro of course and this is why Phil is their key athletic spokesperson. With the nickname Mickletits, Phil is the perfect athlete to advocate supporting of your man mammaries.

Tub O' Lard = 12 Dollars + Years Supply O' Lard

Phil proclaims that the singular way he is able to keep his mystique physique is through genuine Tub O' Lard. Tub O' Lard gives him the proper fat content he needs to store the high powered fuel he needs to succeed on the course.

The Ab Belt = Permanent 6 Pack Abs No Cash Payment

To work off those excess pounds Phil gets from his Tub O' Lard endorsement Phil advertises the Ab Belt. Phil keeps a slender physique not by working out but by strapping on the ab belt all day long. Nothing keeps his abs tone and in 6 pack form like the Ab belt.

The Tiger Hunters Club of America = -1$ million (Phil Funds the Organization)


After several life threating maulings from a Tiger, Phil is the spokesperson and founder of the Tiger Hunters Club of America. He advocates that Tigers on the loose are very dangerous to the public and that any Tiger seen on American soil should be shot no questions asked. He very much feels as if the Golf Course is a key feeding ground for American Tigers and sniper tours at local clubs to ensure protection.

Posted by Simon at 11:11 AM   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

4 comments:

its the manzier simon

World of Isaac said...
11:25 AM  

Not a Seinfeld Fan? The Bro by Kramerica industries.

Simon said...
11:31 AM  

I linked to the clip...

Simon said...
11:33 AM  

you don't remember the argument george's dad and kramer had over the name of it?

george's dad wanted the manzier

pretty funny

World of Isaac said...
12:40 PM  

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