Skip to main content

Phil Mickelson's Hidden Endorsements

SI recently completed their annual list of the top 50 earning US athletes and semi surprisingly the top earners were both professional golfers. The first being Tiger Woods of course but the second being Phil Mickelson who made a staggering 62+ million dollars last year. Golf.com chronicled some of Phil's endorsement deals which brought in a total of 53$ million dollars but they missed some significant deals which I am here to share.

The Bro = $1 Million + Lifetime Supply


How do you keep your man breasts firm and supple for your entire playing career? The Bro of course and this is why Phil is their key athletic spokesperson. With the nickname Mickletits, Phil is the perfect athlete to advocate supporting of your man mammaries.

Tub O' Lard = 12 Dollars + Years Supply O' Lard

Phil proclaims that the singular way he is able to keep his mystique physique is through genuine Tub O' Lard. Tub O' Lard gives him the proper fat content he needs to store the high powered fuel he needs to succeed on the course.

The Ab Belt = Permanent 6 Pack Abs No Cash Payment

To work off those excess pounds Phil gets from his Tub O' Lard endorsement Phil advertises the Ab Belt. Phil keeps a slender physique not by working out but by strapping on the ab belt all day long. Nothing keeps his abs tone and in 6 pack form like the Ab belt.

The Tiger Hunters Club of America = -1$ million (Phil Funds the Organization)


After several life threating maulings from a Tiger, Phil is the spokesperson and founder of the Tiger Hunters Club of America. He advocates that Tigers on the loose are very dangerous to the public and that any Tiger seen on American soil should be shot no questions asked. He very much feels as if the Golf Course is a key feeding ground for American Tigers and sniper tours at local clubs to ensure protection.

Comments

World of Isaac said…
its the manzier simon
Simon said…
Not a Seinfeld Fan? The Bro by Kramerica industries.
Simon said…
I linked to the clip...
World of Isaac said…
you don't remember the argument george's dad and kramer had over the name of it?

george's dad wanted the manzier

pretty funny

Popular posts from this blog

M E T S = Mercifully End The Season

Do it before David Wright gets Hurt!

Numbers On Steroids: Bret Boone

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. Mr. Boone was once the best power hitting second baseman in the league. How questionable was his success? Averages Say: Why the extra plateu in his mid 30s? At Bats Per Home Run Says: Lowest at Bats Per Home Runs at 37? Hmm.... Explaining It Away Yeak, this one is tough. Umm, late bloomer? He showed potential power early in his career and he just liked playing in Seattle a lot more than everywhere else? And umm, his career was kind of like a running backs in that it just all of a sudden fell off the map? Any of these convincing you? The Verdict Guy never hits more than 24 home runs in a season and then in his age 32 season he hits 37? And in SafeCo a pitchers park to boot? And he follows that up with 24, 35, 24 homer years still at SafeCo? And then he completely falls off the map in 2005 never to be heard from again? We've got a Screamer... Man Get Big Muscles In 30s. Hm...

Numbers On Steroids: Mickey Mantle

Numbers on Steroids is a look at baseball players during the 90s to see if anything screams out at you. This week it's throwing a curve ball and looking at All Time Great Yankees. Players that we know did not take steroids to see if this gives a defense to any of the players 'convicted' by Numbers on Steroids. Time to look at my dad's favorite athlete of all time, Mickey Mantle. Averages Say: What's with the mysterious dip at 27 and then the uptick? At Bats Per Home Run Says: That's a mighty jump from 22 to 24 Explaining As If It Was the 90s If you take a look at the numbers there are two time frames which in the 1990s would be questioned. First would be the incredible leap he took from his first year in the big leagues to his first MVP season in 1956. His batting average jumped 50 points. His slugging percentage jumped 90 points and he hit 15 more homers than his previous high. This wouldn't merrit a conviction nowadays though because the young age he...