Searching for a Wang Replacement

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

It's time for the Yankees to replace their Wang and to do so will require an exhaustive search. First up, the losers that the Yankees used to have that sucked are free and could come back.

A) Dreamweaver - He's a free Agent. Why? Because he had a 6+ ERA in the minors. In his last year with the Yanks he had a 5.99 ERA. Last season after intelligently declining a multi year contract he had an ERA over 6. He'd be almost perfect to bring back.

B) Sir Sydney - Sir Sydney threw in 5 games with the Yanks in 2006 to the tune of a 10+ ERA. Why is he available now despite a 3-1 record this season? Well everybody hates him especially his teammates and fans and general managers, so the Rangers cut him for being a clubhouse cancer. Obviously a Grade A candidate for the staff.

C) The Wright Stuff - He got cut by the Pirates so you know he's good. Hell he really wasn't that miserable with the Yanks. He was at least better than Pavano, so what say the Yanks sign him and him and Pavano compete for the 5th spot in the rotation come September that could be an epic battle.

D) Eric Milton - Technically he never pitched for the Yankees, he was traded to quickly. So don't you think it's about damn time the Yanks brought him back to finish what he wasn't allowed to start. Who cares if the best ERA he ever had was 4.32 in 2001. He's primed to break that +6 ERA streak now.

E) Boomer - Boomer has Type II Diabetes is about 900 pounds over weight and about 800 years old. And he had an ERA well above 5 last year. So ya nobody wants him cause he can't pitch any more. But he is a beloved and he probably spends his time getting back into shape for baseball by pounding back 30 racks, so chances are his forearms are strong and ready to go. He'd obviously be the ideal candidate.

F) Rodge - Steroids shmeroids. Who cares as long as they work. All you have to do is make him a little roofy koolada with Viagra, HGH, and some roids and he will be ready to dominate the hill again in the pin stripes.

G) None of the Above -
Probably gonna go with this one.

Posted by Simon at 11:28 AM   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!


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