Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Hi I'm Neal Huntington and welcome to the Pittsburgh Pirates continual tag sale. As GM of the Pirates I'd like to make sure that you know that we've got the left over furniture, players and junk you need, just give us a call. We're pretty much open to anything. Today we've parted with 1B Adam LaRoche for five dollars and a bag of doritos. And earlier this year we traded Nyjer Morgan and Nate McLouth away for Two Philly Cheesesteaks and a Budding Rap Superstar.
But fear not we've still got plenty of pieces to sell off if the price is right, and the price is always right.
We've got a weak hitting but slick fielding Shortstop Jack Wilson. He can be had for two dollars. Just two dollars. That's an AMAZ-A-FRICKIN-DEAL.
How about All Star Freddie Sanchez? You always can use more all stars right? Well you can have him for the low low price of my a Diet Coke a Chili Cheeseburger and a Side of Onion Rings. That's right, just pay for my lunch today and he is yours.
Do you want tempermental Ian Snell and his dominant Triple A stuff? Well today only, and its today only because its such a steal, we'll actually pay you for taking him off of our books. That's right, sign him up now and we'll pay for 75% of his contract and ask for nothing in return. That's an unbeatable bargain.
So come on down to the Pittsburgh Pirates
Fire Sale Tag Sale and tell me what you want, cause chances are pretty damn good that I'll give it to you.