Wednesday, July 08, 2009
What Sport is a series of posts dedicated to figuring out what sport a certain fictional character would play. Today's topic is Super Mario.
Description: Mario is a short and fat plummer. His athleticism is likely overstated in every game which you use him. He might have some power give the short stocky frame but the endurance is likely to be incredibly questioned. Any sport which involves height is obviously eliminated.
The Options: Well the options are vast because there's been a Mario Sports game for just about every sport, except hockey. So we'll take a look at all of them.
Soccer: A sport built around running non stop for 90 minutes, hmm.... probably not for the short fat man.
Tennis: A sport built on cardiovascular endurance and quickness, hmm.... probably not for the short fat man.
Baseball: Mario looks like he could be a sneaky power bat, kind of like a poor man's Prince Fielder. But in the field I'd imagine he'd be a disaster. No reach, lack of quickness. Even at first base he would be a liability given his lack of height. He'd probably be a Giambi like defender.
Golf: You don't need to be in good shape to hit a golf ball, just look at John Daly. In his short stocky frame Mario looks like he's got a little power but not much stamina. What sport is better to take advantage of that than golf?
NASCAR: The perfect sport for a fat man, drive around the car for hours. He could be the next Tony Stewart. My issue is that as a fat Italian with a mustache, his sweat might be potent enough where it severely detracts from his ability to drive.
The Verdict: Golf, Mario is Craig Stadler.
Disagree? Feel Free to Blast Away in the Comments.