“In all things it is better to hope than to despair”

As the quote says it is better to hope than despair, but despair many fans will and who can truly blame them. It is simply a natural feeling to have when you can no longer identify a single player on your favorite teams roster. Especially when your team doesn't exactly have a solid track record of putting together a winning team.

Firesales occur every year at the trade deadline. Some franchises like the Marlins have a track record of making solid deals and bringing in top ranked prospects to build a winner. Others do not. Those that do not are the ones that inspire incredible despair on the fanbase.

This season there are two teams holding a massive firesale, the first is the Cleveland Indians. The Indians have already dealt Ryan Garko, Rafael Betancourt, Ben Francisco and Cliff Lee and it looks like a Victor Martinez deal is just around the corner. Fans in Cleveland have already started to give up on the franchise. They have destroyed the owners wikipedia page in anger. Indian fans are clearly in despair.

Then of course you have Pittsburgh Pirate fans. By trading away their entire roster Pirate fans must feel an immeasurable sense of despair. The entire roster has changed since the start of the season. They've traded away their outfield, their pitching, their infield, everything. It's despair time in Pittsburgh.

A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. --Bible (Proverbs 14:30)

The sin of envy comes from fans everywhere after the conclusion of the trade deadline. Fans throughout the country scream, "why not me? why did that team make the trade for the ace and not mine." The reasons behind why certain teams make moves and others don't is often irrelevant because as fans we only want to see our teams become more successful and we want to see it now. So when another team improves their squad significantly and yours does not, envy is the natural reaction.

As this is more of a fan based sin it is tough to give a specific trade instance, but living in New York area I see it on a almost a daily basis. A Met fan or a Yankee fan calls up the local talk radio program and yells about how the Mets should have traded for Cliff Lee and that the Phillies out bidding the Mets is absolute BS. It doesn't matter that the Mets didn't have the prospects to trade for Cliff Lee or that trading for Cliff Lee might have fallen under the sin of pride. The fan envies the competition improving.

A common secular form of the Greek and biblical sin of hubris is expressed in the lives of individuals who strain themselves beyond reason in order to prove that there are no goals they cannot achieve, no obstacles they cannot overcome. --(Schimmel, 30)

Pride is a most dangerous sin at the trade deadline, for pride is what can ruin the future of your organization while garnering zero gains. The sin of pride at the trade deadline occurs in those that are too stubborn to admit that they are out of the race or too stupid to realize that their team does not have a chance to win in the playoffs. And so they go out into the trade market and seek pieces to add while crushing their farm system.

One of the most notable recent evidences of the sin of pride came from the Mets in 2004. The Mets seeking to fortify their rotation traded for Victor Zambrano of the Rays. In doing so they gave up one of their best prospects, Scott Kazmir. Zambrano went on to do absolutely nothing with the Mets and not help the Mets into the postseason. Kazmir meanwhile has shown flashes of brilliance with the Rays while battling through injuries.

Another recent sin of pride at the trade deadline came via the Braves in 2007 when they dealt for Mark Teixeira at the deadline. While Teixeira performed well for the Braves, they could not make the postseason. In getting Teixeira the Braves had to part with Elvis Andrus, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, Matt Harrison, Neftali Feliz and Beau Jones. Andrus, Saltalamacchia, and Harrison are all key contributors to the Rangers squad this season and Neftali is currently the Rangers #1 prospect.

The sin of pride is prevalent each season and there will be someone who makes that mistake this afternoon. We shall see whom that will be. Only time will tell.

A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. --Proverbs (ch. 15, v. 1)

Thy tradeline wrath comes from players who feel scorned by their franchise and desire to spend their years in the arms of others. In most cases this comes in the form of superstars who are downright tired of losing on a daily basis and desire to be traded to someone who has a modicum of potential.

In this years trade deadline we have yet to see any big names come out demanding a trade, instead we have seen the wrath of the small. Of the names demanding a deal, Ian Snell is up front and center. Snell was initially thought by the Pirates to be one of their arms to build towards the future, until this season when he was so dreadful that he requested to be sent to AAA. This request was in part due to his failures on the mound and in part due to how much he just hated Pittsburgh. So when he dominated Triple A and the Pirates wanted to recall him to the big leagues, he surprised no one when he said that he had no desire to go pitch ever again for the Pirates. And hence only days later he is now a Mariner.

The other primary examples from 2009 are the minor leaguers scorned by the Chicago White Sox. Both Brian Anderson and Josh Fields had lost favor in Ozzie Guillen's lineup to the point where they both said it was time for them to be traded. Anderson got his wish when he was dealt to the Red Sox. Fields still awaits his turn.

I can't believe that David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez were taking steroids in 2003. I am so heart broken and crushed. To think that back in 2004 I truly thought the Red Sox fended off the curse of Babe Ruth with just a hint of lying during Schilling's fake blood. But now, now I know that they were cheaters. Horrible, Horrible Cheaters. And now to think the World Series Championship has a huge asterisk next to it. It makes me sick.

Or not. Come on, you didn't have a sneaking suspicion that David Ortiz just might have done steroids? You didn't see his progression from a player pretty much let go by the Twins for nothing to baseball god with the Red Sox as a slight cause for concern. If anything four months ago I would have thought that Manny not Ortiz was the one who probably was clean, but there always have been the massive doubts about Ortiz. Regardless, does it really matter? No. Because once again there were steroid users EVERYWHERE! It's not like that Yankee team of 2004 was innocent (A-Roid, BANE, and Sheffield). They won the World Series in 2004, your memories and joy of that time still remain. Let Bill Simmons cry himself to sleep while you let the news slide off your backs.

But for certain do not be hypocrites Mr. Bostonians, for it was the Red Sox whom threw the most steroid daggers at Giambi, Sheffield and A-Roid. Earlier this season on a trip to Fenway against the Mets, people were walking around with big needles that said A-roid on them. When the Yankee fans do the same thing, just laugh and call them copy cats. When the Yankee fan rips you to shreds like you once did to them, just sit there and take it. Because no longer can you sit on your high horse and declare a World Series Title of purity. It's tainted just like everybody else's.

Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger. --Proverbs 19:15

For each those that deal with Gluttony and Lust those full of slothfulness who become their prey. Some of whom are willing to forego the remainder of the season and focus on the future and some of whom are the epitome of what a sloth is. The Pirates are Sloth.

The quote used above might as well be the Pirates new motto as if anyone is in a deep sleep its the Pittsburgh Pirates. After this season, when they finish another season under .500, they will set a new major league futility mark for the most consecutive seasons below .500. And so the Pirates feed the beasts year after year. They trade their entire outfield+ within a calendar year. They trade their middle infield, a former member of their rotation, their 1B, etc. etc. Everybody is open at the Pirates tag sale.

And of course there is their draft pedigree which has already been chronicled. By never drafting anyone of value the Pirates sink it the abyss of trading their valid MLB players for future hope. But by drafting poorly year after year they wind up in this terrific cycle of ineptitude.

Finally if there is a fan who suffers it is the Pirates fan. At no point this decade have they put a squad together with a legitimate chance. There is no point in going to their beautiful stadium to watch their Triple A squad lose constantly. There is no point in being anything other than slothful with regards to the Pittsburgh Pirates, because they them selves just mirror the front office.

“Be not among winebibbers; among riotous eaters of flesh: For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe a man with rags.”

GMs shall often be gluttonous at the trade deadline. Those in contention shall attempt to hoard as much talent as they can sink their teeth into, sometimes to the detriment of both the team currently and the team in the future.

One key example of the past would be the New York Yankees acquisition of Jose Canseco in 2000. Already, with a ridiculous ensemble of talent the Yankees saw Jose Canseco on the market and said "Well, we don't want the Red Sox to get him, so let's grab him." They didn't need him and he did nothing for them other than whine and annoy.

In 2007 the Red Sox desired to make an additional stabilization of their already solid bullpen. So they went out and got blatant steroid user Eric Gagne who at the time was the closer of the Rangers. Gagne was dreadful for the Red Sox posting a 6.75 ERA which made him the most hated man on the team and resulted in fans offering up questions like "Is Steinbrenner paying him?"

Teams shall always want more more more, for they shall always be gluttons.

Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; --1 Peter 2:11

Everywhere you look during the MLB trade deadline you shall see Lust. Every city in contention desires thy neighbors wife.

Roy Halladay is Sexy. He is sexy everywhere within 5 games of a playoff spot. Philly wants desired Roy in the white and red pin stripes, before their lust was satisfied by the slightly less sexy Cliff Lee. Even still, I bet many Philly fans still lust after Roy. Red Sox fans lust after Roy, and lust after him even more at the thought of him wearing Yankee pin stripes instead of BoSox white and red. The entire NL Central lusts after Roy. Roy is essentially Meghan Fox right now.

But the lust doesn't start or stop with Roy, it envelopes the baseball world. Even the Ryan Garko's and Ian Snell's of the world can be lusted after in the right cities with the right GMs. If there is a better player out there than the one your team already has than lust will take you over. Lust will make your mind wander to dangerous levels.

Here in New York City area, Lust is a 24/7/365 occurrence. Never are New Yorkers satisfied with their roster, never do they not desire the best and the brightest. In the off season this Lust is typically satisfied via free agency but at the trade deadlines the Lust comes through. Mets fans want every available Pirate. They want any good hitter. Yankee fans want the best of the best. They desire Roy Halladay and think they deserve because "they are the Yankees" everyone wants to sleep in the Yankees bed.

Lust is the MLB Trade Deadline.

It's getting close MLB Trade Deadline so it's just a constant shit storm of trade rumors. MLB Trade Rumors has about 4050 posts a day. So here's what I've been hearing through the grapevine.

In an effort to solidify their pitching staff the Yankees have been in the market for a pitcher with a solid track record but have been very reluctant to give up their best farmhands or major league players in a such a deal. Well, they just might have found the team to do so in division rival Boston.

The Yankees are searching for a pitcher with terrific postseason numbers and the rumored pitcher has these numbers, an undefeated 3-0 record in the World Series for Boston all while pitching to an incredible 0.87 ERA. Now, I've promised my sources that I won't reveal the name but I think you should be able to deduce who I'm talking about.

In order to acquire this pitcher who will likely improve the Yankees drastically after the trade the Red Sox were willing to trade the player simply for cash relief on future investments. The White Sox came in with an offer of one their likely to be future Hall of Famers and a significant amount of cash in their own right, but the Yankees being the financial juggernauts have blown the White Sox offer out of the water and it is believed that the trade is a mere formality.

I pray you took none of that seriously because, I Like Jokes...

It's getting close MLB Trade Deadline so it's just a constant shit storm of trade rumors. MLB Trade Rumors has about 4050 posts a day. So here's what I've been hearing through the grapevine.

Everyone in the baseball world is looking towards where Roy Halladay is going to land. The rumors have been flung out there. The Phillies want him but aren't willing to give up Doug Drabek's son. The Red Sox want him but they're only interested in being frugal bastards and not giving up their top prospects plus J.P. Ricciardi has instituted a 30% surcharge for AL East squads.

So who's left in for Halladay? The forgotten Rangers of course. The Rangers will give up former 1B Chris Davis, Catching prospect Max Ramirez, and pitching prospect Neftali Perez in exchange for the Texan Halladay. The move will finally give the Rangers an ace pitcher that they never have had and will give them the push to chase the Angels for the division (out 2.5) and the Red Sox for the wild card (out 1.5).

Long thought out of the sweepstakes for Halladay due to money issues with their owner Tom Hicks, the Rangers are now back into the race courtesy of money brought in from Tom's other investment, Liverpool FC. Liverpool FC has transferred veteran midfielder Xabi Alonso to Real Madrid for what is believed to be 30 million dollars. This money will be used solely to finance Halladay's contract.

I have zero sources and this was completely made up. And if you believed that last part, than you're an idiot.

Now that we can be done with the Brett Favre rumors to Minnesota*, it's time to start floating around the Michael Vick to Minnesota rumors. I mean why not, the Vikings obviously want a quarterback with a better pedigree than Sage Rosenfels or Tarvaris Jackson and Vick delivers this.

To me Minnesota now becomes the most logical fit. A team in contention that was willing to take on a new quarterback with risk all of season. They are in a smallish market so the backlash might be less. And most importantly he would make a difference on the team.

Just picture this for a second. In his prime Vick led the most dominating rushing attack in football. This came with miniature Warrick Dunn and Jerious Norwood. Now imagine Vick in the same backfield as Adrian Peterson and Chester Taylor. This is what the Vikings were looking to get from Tarvaris when they drafted him as a poor man's Vick, but he hasn't even come close to living up to the hype.

Its time to start the Minnesota Vickings rumor mill.

*We probably can't be done with the rumors because it's Brett Favre, he doesn't want to retire, the rumors will go on and on my friend, cause it's the story that doesn't end...

Dear Fellow General Managers,

I know this will be hard for you to believe, and it will be difficult for me to say given all that he's done for the organization, but the New York Yankees and I, Brian Cashman, are willing to discuss a possible trade for veteran Left Handed Pitcher Kei Igawa. I know you are floored right now, but he's out there if the price is right.

Igawa this season has been terrific. He's 8-4 with a 4.03 ERA*. He'd be the perfect left hander to round out the backend of your rotation. In fact, screw backend, he could be your ace**. So don't waste anytime, please send your trade offers to the following address:

1 Babe Ruth Avenue
The Bronx, New York, New York

Don't wait too long, the deadline is friday, and you really really really want the Milk Soda Beaver.

Thanks,
BCASH

*With Scranton Wilkes-Barre

**That's a lie

This week in why humans can suck, we get a case in Philadelphia where a brawl starts courtesy of a spilled drink and ends in the death of a 22 year old.

Essentially the argument started with a spilled drink in a crowded bar outside of Citizen's Bank Park during a Phillies game. The two groups involved were a Bachelor party and a group headed down to the game on a bar sponsored trip. After the spilled drink an argument between the two groups started and after everyone was kicked out of the stadium the groups naturally continued the fight onto the street. The end result of course was David Hale, the brother of the bride, getting repeatedly kicked in the head to the point where his head trama killed him.

At what point can anyone logically think that holding a man down and kicking him in the fucking head is really a sensible thing to do? What kind of people do shit like this? The answer of course is.... people with prior assault records of course. Two of the three shit bags that killed David Hale had already served jail time for previous assault charges. One who was guilty of stabbing someone four times in a similar melee and the other who was guilty of beating a man until he became unconcious.

Now a 22 year old is dead. A wedding is almost certainly on the rocks given the fact I'd gather the bride has several questions for the groom as to why nobody had her brothers back in the entire bachelor party. All because of a spilled fucking drink. God People Are Assholes Sometime.

"Police bust canary fighting operation", that's just the thing to make you proud of your hometown. Hoorah Shelton Connecticut.

Over the weekend I watched the Ted Williams documentary on HBO, which was terrific and I recommend everyone to give it a look. The documentary pointed a few of the obvious but often overlooked aspects of Ted Williams career, namely the fact that he basically lost five full seasons of his career due to military service. He lost three full seasons due to World War II and lost all but 43 games in two seasons due to the Korean War.

The Splendid Splinter already ranks amongst the elite in all major league baseball categories and is at the top of the top in the average categories. Williams is ranked 7th, 1st, 2nd and 2nd respectively in BA, OBP, SLG%, and OPS. But its the accumaltion stats that were hit due to the war, so how would Teddy Ballgame rank amongst the elite if he did play those games? Where would his legacy sit?


Williams would be the all-time leader in Runs and Runs Batted In. He would be the all time leader in walks. He would be 6th in total hits and 5th in doubles. His prowess would be matched by Babe Ruth alone. Take a look at what his entire statline would be like for a career, its unreal.


To gather the projections I took averages an plopped them in. The averages used are as follows 43 (41,42), 44 (42,46), 45 (46,47), 52 (51), 53 (51,54).

The Major League Baseball non-waiver trade deadline comes on friday. On friday we will expect multiple names to get dealt. We will expect a whirlwind of excitement for your favorite teams. We will expect Roy Halladay to be dealt, we will expect Cliff Lee and Victor Martinez to be donning new uniforms, we will expect the Pirates to sell off their entire outfield for the third time in two years. We will expect a lot, and chances are, we will get a little.

I really think the problem lies somewhere in the media swirling rumors we here everyday. Everyday there's a new rumor about Roy Halladay or Cliff Lee. Every day we get differing news about one players could be in what package. We get information from JP Ricciardi saying that he doubts he will deal Halladay away, yet two minutes later we get information saying that they've already sent out trade proposals to multiple teams. We even see rumors that don't make much sense surrounding some of the best pitchers and prospects in the game like Cliff Lee and V-Mart for Kershaw and Loney. Kershaw is 21 and has a 2.96 ERA this year, why the hell would they ever trade him? Why would you even taunt Indians fans into believing they have a chance at snatching up the best young left hander in the game.

The problem won't be that the deadline will lack action. It won't. We'll get trades for George Sherrill, Matt Capps and every other closer on a shit team. We'll get trades for low end starters like Ian Snell or Justin Duscherererer. We'll get role players traded like Orlando Cabrera, Nick Johnson or Ryan Garko. All of these deals could very easily swing the balance of baseball power. The problem is our expectations are so high, built up on media rumors and the Manny deal from last season, that anything short of Halladay, Lee and V-Mart getting traded will be a disappointment.

Those of you that don't get to watch the Yankees much this season probably look at Robinson Cano's 2009 statline of .310 14 HR and an OPS of .833 and think wow that's a nice bounce back year for Cano. Those of us who watch Cano on a daily basis this season realize that while he is playing far superior to his 2008 campaign, he is not close to realizing his potential. Take a look at his situational stats from this season below.


As the situation becomes more important, 2009 Cano results diminish significantly. Imagine if these numbers were flip flopped. Imagine if he was hitting .350 with runners in scoring position this season. The RBI totals would be through the roof but alas, he currently is just a wizard at getting hits when nobody is on base and mediocre at driving people in.

It's pretty simple why the Mets can't win games anymore and are morphing into the second worst team in the National League, they can't score runs. The below chart shows exactly whats happenned to their offensive output since each of the major devastating injuries. The blue line shows runs scored for each game through out the season. The pink line shows the average runs the Mets scored when they had everyone, the yellow when they were missing Delgado, the light blue when they were missing Delgado and Reyes, and finally the purple when they were missing Delgado, Reyes and Beltran.


In the abscence of Reyes, Delgado and Beltran the Mets are averaging barely over 3 runs per game. In stark contrast, with everyone on the roster the Mets were scoring just over 5 runs per game. That's a wholesale difference and why their roster now equals a lot of losses and a day by day progression further out of a playoff spot.

Feel like having a little chuckle? Let's take a look at an assortment of pitching rankings from he Washington Nationals this season. We're pretty certain it'll show you why they are so unbelievably awful.



Only the Indians and Mets are the saving graces in any of these categories as the Indians have a worse ERA and have given up more hits than the Nationals, something tells me playing in the AL doesn't help, and the Mets behind the solid efforts of Ollie P lead the league in most walks pitched. Perhaps someone in the Nationals organization should look at their stats and say to themselves, "We really really really need to sign Strausberg".

The College Football Season is only months away so naturally you're itching to know what games you're going to watch. Fear not, I put together a Top 5 Game per week Helmet Schedule for your enjoyment.

Click On the Image For the Full Size
Or Download the Spreadsheet

There's one glaring thing wrong with college football on a year to year basis outside the BCS. This glaring problem always falls directly in line with Joe Paterno's Penn State Nittany Lions. The issue is with scheduling disparity. While some schools go out and schedule difficult games against elite out of conference programs, schools like Penn St. hide in the corner beating up crappy MAC teams and feasting on the worst schools in the Big East. And it's so god damn annoying.

While Alabama and Virginia Tech start off the season in an epic ACC vs. SEC showdown in Atlanta, Penn State will host Akron. While fellow Big Ten elite Ohio State hosts perennial powerhouse USC, Penn St. hosts always shitty Syracuse. While Oregon hosts 2009 Cinderella Utah, Penn State takes on ugly Temple. While Indiana hits the road and travels to UVA, Penn State hosts little ole Eastern Illinois.

All in all, those are four automatic wins for Penn State. They are whats wrong with college football. A team like Penn State that hides from serious competition outside of what is mandatory should not be rewarded. They should be punished, but they won't. They're undefeated record via cup cake city will be rewarded week after week after teams like VaTech, Alabam, Ohio State, USC etc. falter in battles with equals.

So here I stand saying Screw You Joe Pa and screw you're wimp of an athletic director. I hope you get pummeled at the start of Big Ten play and I hope you finish nowhere near the national title game.

So if you're a man who's been in the slammer for 2 years without any female companionship during that time frame, I'd imagine you're pretty eager for it. So naturally I'd imagine that many criminals on their first night out of prison head to the strip clubs. So it shouldn't come as a ridiculous surprise that Michael Vick on his first night of freedom headed to a strip club with Allen Iverson for amateur night.

There's nothing illegal about Vick or anybody else going to the strip club. Millions of people do it daily. Like I said before I'd imagine that's amongst the top priorities of newly freed convicts. But when you're Michael Vick and you're main goal now is to convince Roger Goodell that you're a changed man and that you're remorseful so that Goodell will reinstate you, it's probably a good idea to have just a little bit of common sense. Just an ounce of common sense.

How exactly did not a single person in Vick or Iverson's entourage go "You know Michael, you're gonna be on camera, this probably isn't going to help your case given the negative montra the public has with strip clubs and NFL players. How about we maybe go out to a club or a bar instead." How exactly did this conversation either not come up or not sink into Vick's thick moronic skull.

I'd like Vick to be reinstated and allowed to play somewhere in the NFL, but just one day of freedom and he's already acted like an idiot. The chances of reinstatement are slimming.

Hi I'm Neal Huntington and welcome to the Pittsburgh Pirates continual tag sale. As GM of the Pirates I'd like to make sure that you know that we've got the left over furniture, players and junk you need, just give us a call. We're pretty much open to anything. Today we've parted with 1B Adam LaRoche for five dollars and a bag of doritos. And earlier this year we traded Nyjer Morgan and Nate McLouth away for Two Philly Cheesesteaks and a Budding Rap Superstar.

But fear not we've still got plenty of pieces to sell off if the price is right, and the price is always right.

We've got a weak hitting but slick fielding Shortstop Jack Wilson. He can be had for two dollars. Just two dollars. That's an AMAZ-A-FRICKIN-DEAL.

How about All Star Freddie Sanchez? You always can use more all stars right? Well you can have him for the low low price of my a Diet Coke a Chili Cheeseburger and a Side of Onion Rings. That's right, just pay for my lunch today and he is yours.

Do you want tempermental Ian Snell and his dominant Triple A stuff? Well today only, and its today only because its such a steal, we'll actually pay you for taking him off of our books. That's right, sign him up now and we'll pay for 75% of his contract and ask for nothing in return. That's an unbeatable bargain.

So come on down to the Pittsburgh Pirates Fire Sale Tag Sale and tell me what you want, cause chances are pretty damn good that I'll give it to you.

It's time Mets fans. Just give it up. Don't bother calling to the radio stations to complain about your team. Don't bother calling the radio stations to bitch about how they didn't accept the imaginary deal Jon Heyman made up for Roy Halladay. Just forget about it all and start concentrating on what Omar can possibly do to make the team better for 2010.

As of right now the Mets sit 10 games back in the division and 7.5 games back in the wildcard. We've seen comebacks of that magnitude done before via epic win streaks, think the Rockies run to the postseason two years ago, the problem is the Mets suck. The Mets don't even have anything close to that run in them. And without Beltran, Reyes and Delgado for likely the majority of August those numbers will increase to the point where they'll likely be just about mathematically eliminated going into September.

The worst part about the Mets right now is that they're unwatchable. They've been shut out five times in their past 13 games. Last night they were shut out by soft tossing John Lannon. For Lannon it was his first career shut out and just his 2nd complete game of his career. The other was of course against the Mets earlier this season. That's just downright embarrassing. But that's to be expected from a lineup with 19 home runs total this season.

At least if you're a Mets fan you have one thing going for you. In 2009 you can cut your losses in July rather than having them rip out your heart on September 30th. That's at least better, right?

The Quiz Works Like So, each question has four different dollar amounts. If you get it right you'll get a 0, if you get it wrong you'll get 10 points for each dollar you are off. So basically you want the lowest score possible. Have at it.



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Now that Vick is a free man one can have several opinions on the matter. First and foremost one can have the opinion of whether he should even be allowed to play in the NFL or not. Those that say no usually say something along the lines of, if I got convicted of a felony, I wouldn't be brought back by my company. Others like myself just want to see him play again. So if you're in the latter camp like myself, where do you want him to play? Here's my list of ideal situations.

5. Tampa Bay Buccaneers - The Bucs already have about 47 quarterbacks on their roster, why not add another one. They could play the A-11 in 2009 and beyond.

4. Buffalo Bills - Terrell Owens and Michael Vick on the same team? ESPN would move from Bristol to Buffalo if that were to happen. [Although they would need a satellite campus in Minny to follow Favre]

3. Cleveland Browns - If only to answer the question of what the "Dog Pound" would do if Vick was their quarterback.

2. Cincinnati Bengals - Screw Carson Palmer, they should trade him to the 49ers or some other team and get draft picks. Sign Vick and then you have the perfect loudmouthed QB WR combo in Vick and OchoCinco. And Vick would fit in perfectly with all the other Bengals that broke the law last season.

1. Oakland Raiders - Come on, you may hate the Raiders but you know this would be the ideal situation. The Raiders have always been the team for bad asses and rebels and Al Davis has always been a bit crazy with his player selections. Nothing would be more enjoyable than Vick running around in silver and black and likely getting his head knocked around.

Just one month ago Quentin Richardson was likely sitting in his plush condo in Manhattan thinking about whether or not he was going to be a teammate of Lebron James in 2010. Since that moment, his life has been a whirlwind.

On June 25th, Quentin was shipped to Memphis for Darko Miličić. It pretty much looked like the Knicks were trying to get more European/White while dumping Quentin's lost jump shot and 9$ million dollar salary. At this point Quentin had to question where he fit in with the Grizzlies, who are a young team being built around O.J. Mayo and Rudy Gay, two studs he would likely back up.

That question of where he would fit it on the Grizzlies was answered as just a week later he was dealt to the Clippers straight up for Zach Randolph. At the time I thought maybe the Clippers would make sense given his history there and the fact that they did have a mixture of youth and experience.

And then earlier this week he gets dealt to the Timberwolves for the combination of Sebastian Telfair, Craig Smith, Mark Madsen and a bottle of Aquafina. To which I respond, what the hell do the Timberwolves want Quentin Richardson for? The T-Wolves are going full youth movement and just traded away Randy Foye along with Mike Miller who's a better version of Richardson. I see no reason why they would want him and I'd imagine they'll be looking to deal him shortly.

So where will Quentin wind up to start the season? Who knows but I don't think his summer of being traded is quite over yet.

This is completely off topic and not in the field of sports but whatever it pisses me off so I'm writing about it.

Everyday I you hear some new fangled diet on the radio or on television about how to lose those love handles or drop weight easy. You know a way to lose some god damn weight? Stop being a lazy piece of shit. How about that? I'm not saying its easy to lose weight if you have a weight problem or its easy to put yourself on a strict diet or easy to bring your ass to the gym 6 days a week for 2 hours, but you know what is easy? Walking a flight of stairs.

Everyday at work this kills me. My building is only five floors, but there are two entrances one on the 1st floor and the back entrance on the 3rd floor. Everyday I see someone walk in at the same time as me in the back entrance who works on the same floor as me (the 4th) and instead of walking up a single god damn flight of stairs they take the elevator. It's one flight of stairs. One single damn flight of stairs. If you get winded walking up a flight of stairs than perhaps you should figure out your life and stop being so out of shape. And perhaps walking up flights of stairs daily would be beneficial for you.

These same fat people will talk about how they need to lose weight or bring some kind of Lean Cuisine bullshit in for lunch. Or partake in the beyond retarded body cleansing diet, aka starving yourself for weeks. And despite all their efforts doing stupid diets nothing works. Because they're god damn lazy.

Just how bad is the lineup that the Mets are sending out there on a daily basis? This bad...


The entire Mets Lineup that they threw on the field yesterday has a combined 18 total home runs this season. Angel Pagan and Luis Castillo lead the lineup with zero homers a piece. They are followed in the lineup by the beef. Daniel Murphy, David Wright and Jeff Francoeur all have 5 home runs this season. Granted Francoeur's homers all came as a member of the Braves, but we'll give them a break. The beef is followed up by a light salad with Jeremy Reed and Alex Cora coming in with zero total home runs. The lineup closes with a fury when super slugger Brian Schneider comes up with his three home runs this season. And then of course the lineup is rounded out by any number of their pitchers with zero home runs.

Nine batters with a total of just 18 home runs. Fear the Mets.

I've seen some messed up celebrations in my time, from any of Ocho Cinco's ludicrous acts to the Sharpie to a Soccer Player Pretending to Snort Coke. But nothing will ever be as messed up as La Liga's Getafe's 2009 celebration will be.

I enjoy pointing out som anomolies, like the AL Central Squads current Win Streaks. Each AL Central team lost yesterday making the combined losing streaks of the division a total of 14.

Growing up for whatever reason Tom Watson was always the golfing legend off of my radar. Born in 1983 I was only alive for one of his eight major championships and given that my dads golfing hero was Arnold Palmer, I always seemed to notice the older crowd more so than the 70s studs. And so when golfing greats came to mind it was lead by Palmer, Nicklaus, Player, Trevino, etc. Even players like Chi Chi Rodriguez were more vivid in my childhood than the mild mannered Watson.

As a result of this weekend, all of that has changed. No longer will Watson be disrespected by my memory, no longer will he be an after thought. Now when I think great vintage golfers, Watson's name will be where it should be, amongst the top of the list. He'll be the man that did the impossible. The old man that just about outlasted the entire field on a course he won at before 1/2 of the field was born. He'll be the 59 year old that fell just a single putt short of a miracle.

In the end does it the conclusion of the 72 holes really matter? We saw the story. We enjoyed the four days of action. And the memory will remain.

On thursday morning at 7am before work I go to me dad "Guess who's leading the British Open? He's older than you." My father's answer came back quick "Tom Watson? Wow." And that's what made this weekend special, not the end result, just Tom Watson and Wow.

Below are the career stats of a Hall of Famer. Can you identify who these stats belong to?

Look at that, Rocking the plaid pants and the Union Jack Vest and throw in a red visor for good measure. It's like a catalog photograph for the Pretty Pants Collection. Too bad he's +3 through 5 holes and sitting in 95th place.

Below are the career stats of a Hall of Famer. Can you identify who these stats belong to?

The Open Championship is always fun, because the courses don't look pristine and it almost looks like they're playing in weeds. Plus the weather is going to suck this weekend and make things incredibly difficult.

4 People to Watch to Contend

Obvious is Obvious- Tigger Woo - He's a staple here. It's mandatory that you say he's going to be in contention.

Mr. Pretty Pants - Ian Poulter - Mr. Pretty Pants came in 2nd last year. Expect the Pretty pants to finish at worst top 10 this year.

Spiderman - Camilo Villegas - There's just something about his putting approach and his goofy outfits that will work this weekend.

The Youngster - Rory McIlroy - He's made the cuts in both majors this year and improved from the 20th finish in the Masters to the 10th finish at the US to the #1 position at The Open?

3 People Who Might Surpisingly Miss the Cut

US Win to British Fail - Lucas Glover - Mr. Glover came out of nowhere to win the US Open. 1 Hit Wonders often get crushed come the next major tournament.

The Titties - Phil Mickleson - He's not going to make the cut. I guarantee it.

The Dick - Rory Sabbatini - Screw Rory Sabbatini.

2 People to Root For this Weekend

The Bitter Scot - Colin Montgomerie - His old and only has so many appearances left in him. And while most people can't stand the man, to a certain extent I enjoy the relatively pissed of Scotsman.

The Emotional Brit - Darren Clarke - Its been about three years since Darren Clarke lost his wife to breast cancer and what better way to remember his wife and honor Mickelson's wife's battle than winning to Claret Jug.

1 Winner

SERGIO- Fuck It I'm going Sergio and the Monotone.

Below are the career stats of a Hall of Famer. Can you identify who these stats belong to?

Below are the career stats of a Hall of Famer. Can you identify who these stats belong to?

Try Out Other Trivia
Fat Football Coaches Silhouettes
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To The Rack Silhouettes
The Ladies of Jeter
Bodies of the WTA
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Alright Boys and Girls, get ready for a lot of F'n trivia. In order to squash your boredom during the worst week of sports each year, it's trivia week here which means there will be multiple trivias per day + a photohunt + a Rebus for those classic SimonOnSports fans. So stay tuned, the fun starts shortly.

The Yankees are tied for first. Given that they've been SWEPT the entire first half of the season by the Red Sox, I think this is a pretty solid outcome. Of course they finish the first half of the season against the Angels which always always spells disaster, so it's likely that come monday morning the Red Sox might be back in sole possession. But for now, this is enjoyable.

Every year there are a few players that come out of absolutely nowhere to make an all star team. The majority of time its because they're having breakout, out of the ordinary years. Other times its because their team sucks and MLB had no one else to choose. Here's the list of players that fall under either of those qualifications this year.

Team Captain: Jason Marquis - Throughout his career Marquis has been a mediocre to ok pitcher in the major leagues. Outside of his solid 2004 campaign with the Cardinals there hasn't been much positives to say about Marquis. He was mediocre enough the the point last year where the Cubs had no problems letting him go. And now, he's got 11 wins and is an all star.

Ryan Franklin - Hew wasn't even supposed to be the Cardinals closer. The closers role was supposed to go to Jason Motte or Chris Perez but both faltered heavily in spring and the opening few weeks and the job was handed back to the veteran Franklin. If you remember Franklin was one of the many closers the Cardinals watched shit the bed last year, but this year Franklin's been effective and reliable. Who knew?

Freddy Sanchez - The Pirates kind of just suck, so I guess this one isn't really surprising and its not like he's been a terrible player, it's just his numbers have regressed heavily since the last time he made the team.

There really aren't that many shockers in the National League. You can throw a Ted Lilly in the mix but he's been really effective for the Cubs the last two years. You could say Justin Upton is surprising because its early but he's one of the top prospects in all of baseball. Yadier Molina gets in cause he's a catcher and catchers suck. Victorino is a bit surprising but he's been double digit homers around .300 and 40+ steals for the past two years. Etc. Etc. Etc.

Every year there are a few players that come out of absolutely nowhere to make an all star team. The majority of time its because they're having breakout, out of the ordinary years. Other times its because their team sucks and MLB had no one else to choose. Here's the list of players that fall under either of those qualifications this year.

Team Captain: Ben Zobrist - When you don't have a starting job at the beginning of the season and your career high in games played coming into the season was 62 despite being in the league for three seasons, you're not expected to make the all star team. But Zobrist won the right field job early in the year than he became the super utility man playing the Outfield, SS, and now 2b and he's raked when he's been in the lineup, so he gets an All Star bid.

The Elder Statesman: Tim Wakefield: He's 43 and he's never made an All Star game before. He hasn't had an ERA under 4 since 2002 and he only won 10 games last year. He was at best the #4 starter on the Red Sox rotation going into the season and at worst could have been the pitcher tossed into the bullpen with the arrival of Smoltz or emergence of Bucholz. But now he's an All Star.

Brandon Inge, Inge was just voted into the All Star game by the fans for the final American League spot making it his first appearance in the game. If you had Brandon Inge locked up for an All Star appearance in March than you were the only one. Inge is a career .239 hitter whose career high in homers was 27. He's never scored over 83 runs or driven in over 83 runs. His career on base % is .308! The only reason he even got a daily job this season is because the Tigers said F*ck off to Sheffield and cut him, moving Guillen to the OF and opening up a spot at 3B for Inge.

Jason Bartlett - He was a pretty important piece to the Rays run to the World Series last year and he's great with the glove but coming into this season his career high in Homers was 5. Last year in 128 games he drove in 37 runs which was just 6 off his career high of 43. Hell he only scored 48 runs last year as well.

Adam "not Pacman" Jones - You knew he had talent given that he was traded for Eric Bedard, but in 2008 he hit just 9 home runs the entire season. So this year one likely expected improvements in all areas but not the massive leap to the All Star game.

Edwin Jackson - The Rays traded him away for a middle of the road corner outfielder in Matt Joyce making the Rays the last team likely to ever give up on the former top prospect. This despite the major strides he made between 2007 and 2008. Still even with those strides no one could have expected a 2.59 ERA in the first half of the year and a trip to the all star game.

Andrew Bailey - I still don't know what this guy looks like. He wasn't the closer at the beginning of the year and wasn't even an option. So him getting to the All Star game is pretty shocking. Out of all these guys he's the only one who really falls into the last category of getting a helping hand because the rest of his roster is atrocious.

I love my Google Reader. All the information I desire in one simple place. I also like pictures. Pictures make articles prettier and grab a hold of my very very short attention span. So naturally when I go to Deadspin's new and improved RSS feed and see pictures magically gone with a sarcastic message that says "The image associated with this post is best viewed using a browser" and the associated link goes directly to their site, I'm not particularly pleased. All it's going to end up doing is making me read less of your RSS feed because again my attention span is poop and I like pretty pictures. Also, do you seriously need to hawk for page views at every turn? And it's not like your RSS feed is already chalk full of ads, it is.


Ugh, random rant but it's just annoying.

In my humble opinion being an NBA General Manager is by far the easiest GM gig of all the professional sports. First off you have incredibly small roster sizes. Secondly you don't have to do with any minor league system. And most importantly, you pretty much know that you have no chance to win a title unless you have superstars. The biggest concern for an NBA GM is making sure that they have more than one superstar and making sure that they don't dish out Scott Layden-esque contracts.

And so I watched the Cavs this offseason and thought, if they want to keep Lebron for eternity than all they have to do is make sure they don't crush their 2010 cap number. And all the moves they were making were doing that. They didn't dump a boatload of money on Trevor Ariza or Shawn Marion or Hedo Turkoglu. They acquired Shaq and his expiring contract.

And then yesterday happenned. Instead of letting some other team spend a ton of money on a player that averages 8 and 7 and will never be an all star the Cavs decided to resign Anderson Varejao to a 7-year $50 million dollar deal. Instead of letting some other jackass team clog up their cap space by overpaying for side show bob, the Cavs overpay for sideshow bob.

I'm not saying that Varejao won't help then in 09 and and beyond. What I'm saying is that if Ferry played his cards right than the money he just wasted on Varejao could have morphed into Chris Bosh come 2010. It's just flat out stupid.

Some days news break and I think to myself, is there really anything more excellent than guaranteed contracts? You get the contract based solely on past performance and "expectations" of how you will perform in the future but in reality you don't even have to do a single of worth following signing your name to a piece of paper.

Take BJ Ryan for example. The Blue Jays cut his ass last night because he was the worst pitcher in their bullpen this season and they needed to make roster room for Scott Downs, their current closer, who was coming off the DL. The Blue Jays didn't have many options at their disposal. They couldn't trade Ryan, because he makes way too much money. They couldn't send him to the minors, because he would just deny that. And logistically there was no benefit to keeping him in their bullpen because he's been so dreadful this season. So they made the decision to dump him.

Now Ryan has a few options he can A) Sit on his ass and just relax and watch the Blue Jays continue to fill his bank account for the next two years because they owe him 15$ million dollars. Or B) he can attempt to pitch for another contract for another team. Likely at 33 he doesn't want to retire just yet and likely he doesn't want to go out like this, but damn option A has its appeals. For instance, he can live somewhere not in Canada. He can play golf all day. He doesn't have to get shit on by a fan base because after his injuries he's not good anymore. I'm guessing he's going to sign on somewhere soon but think about it for a second BJ. Beaches or Baseball?

To Deal or Not to Deal is simply a quick dialogue as to whether a franchise should trade one of their core players.

Why Deal Roy Halladay: Their are multiple pieces working in the favor of trading Roy. First the Blue Jays play in by far the hardest division in baseball and over the past few weeks they have proven that they can't really hang with the Red Sox, Rays and Yankees. As a result the Jays should likely be sellers despite their hot start to the season.

Secondly and most importantly the Jays need to look at how the Rays built up their team and follow their mode of success, building up the farm system. One way to do so would be trading the most valuable chip prior to the deadline. Being that Halladay is amongst the best pitchers in baseball and is signed through 2010 he would command a bidding war between contenders which likely would result in several premium prospects. These premium prospects would hopefully work in conjunction with some of the Jays younger talent (Romero, Rios, Lind) in building a contender in the future.

Why Keep Roy Halladay: There are two main reasons to keep Halladay. The first and purely financial reason is that he is the face of the franchise currently. He is by far their biggest draw and an already jilted and frustrated fan base could potential give a full fledged revolt.

Secondly and the more importantly would be the belief that the Jays could legitimately contend in 2010. Between Halladay, Romero, Richmond, Litsch, McGowan, Marcum, Brett Cecil and Brad Mills there should be a 5 man rotation of depth and quality. The hope would also be that Lind continues to develop and that Travis Snider is ready to make a major impact in 2010. The main concern would be that the play of Rolen, Scutaro and Hill which was at the forefront of their hot start will not be duplicated next season.

Finally, if they end up not contending next season with Halladay than they can always just trade him before next years deadline.

The Verdict: In my humble opinion I think it's time for the Blue Jays to let Halladay go. By trading him this season the price tag should be higher. A team buying Halladay gets a stud for their current playoff push, a potential ace in their rotation for playoff series, and they'll get him for a full year next year. The Jays need to build from the ground up and there's no better way to make a significant minor league splash than dealing the best chip on the trade market.

Deal Him

My biggest fear with the Celtics trade for KG back in the day was that if that their window with aging superstars was going to be very tiny and that if they didn't win a championship within the first three seasons than frankly it wasn't going to happen. The trade was validated in year one with the title, but now its evident that 09-10 just might be the last year of the Celtics window because the old roster in 08-09 is getting significantly older in 09-10.

The news about the Celtics eminent signing of Rasheed Wallace was filled with mostly positives around the media. He's been a borderline all star for his entire career. He adds experience, championship pedigree, the ability to hit a 3, and of course a little bit of psycho. The problem? He adds increasingly to the age of the Celtics at the complete detriment to the youth on the roster. At the start of the season Rasheed will be 35 years old, making him the oldest player in the Celtics lineup. Older than Ray (34), KG (33) and Pierce (32).

What Rasheed costs the team is the infusion of youth talent off the bench that the Celtics had the past two seasons. Last year when KG went down the front court was held down valiently by both Leon Powe and Glen Davis. With the signing of Rasheed it is incredibly likely that both are gone. So instead of two players in their prime, the Celtics are signing up another star on his last legs.

Furthermore the Celtics are in the market for a backup swingman. So naturally who are they going after? The oldest most brittle player on the market of course, Grant Hill.

And just in case you want to hear it from the horses mouth, here's a quote from Leon Powe regarding what he was told when his qualifying offer was not matched by the Celtics:

“They told me, ‘Good luck with another team.’ Doc told me that he wanted me there, and he would do whatever he could to make sure I came back, but Danny came to me yesterday saying that they only have a two-year window, and I would be taking up a roster spot for someone else.”

So if you're a Celtic fan like myself you better enjoy every second of this season and perhaps the next because come the 11-12 season things just might be real ugly again at the Boston Garden.

What Sport is a series of posts dedicated to figuring out what sport a certain fictional character would play. Today's topic is Super Mario.

Description: Mario is a short and fat plummer. His athleticism is likely overstated in every game which you use him. He might have some power give the short stocky frame but the endurance is likely to be incredibly questioned. Any sport which involves height is obviously eliminated.

The Options: Well the options are vast because there's been a Mario Sports game for just about every sport, except hockey. So we'll take a look at all of them.

Soccer: A sport built around running non stop for 90 minutes, hmm.... probably not for the short fat man.

Tennis: A sport built on cardiovascular endurance and quickness, hmm.... probably not for the short fat man.

Baseball: Mario looks like he could be a sneaky power bat, kind of like a poor man's Prince Fielder. But in the field I'd imagine he'd be a disaster. No reach, lack of quickness. Even at first base he would be a liability given his lack of height. He'd probably be a Giambi like defender.

Golf: You don't need to be in good shape to hit a golf ball, just look at John Daly. In his short stocky frame Mario looks like he's got a little power but not much stamina. What sport is better to take advantage of that than golf?

NASCAR: The perfect sport for a fat man, drive around the car for hours. He could be the next Tony Stewart. My issue is that as a fat Italian with a mustache, his sweat might be potent enough where it severely detracts from his ability to drive.

The Verdict: Golf, Mario is Craig Stadler.


Disagree? Feel Free to Blast Away in the Comments.

The way a tennis player will be remembered in the fabrics of history is defined by a single numeric, total majors won. People will quickly forget your close calls, how many times you managed to make it to the semifinals or quarterfinals of a major, and point directly to the number 1. They will certainly ignore the lesser tournament victories like defeating Dudi Sela to take home the Beijing Open. The number 1 is what currently defines Andy Roddick's legacy. All the talent in the world, all the hope of US Tennis thrust upon his shoulders, and all he could manage was 1 major.

But perhaps that's not how Andy Roddick's legacy should hold up. Perhaps Andy Roddick is closer to Pete Sampras than he is a player who never won a major. Perhaps the lone thing that's stopped Andy Roddick from ascending into the stratosphere of American tennis is one man, Roger Federer.

In 2003, the year Roddick shot up to the #1 player in the world, it came off the strength of his lone Major Championship and two trips to Major semifinals. The second of which was the Wimbledon semifinals. Who was the road block in his way to the Wimbledon crown? Roger Federer of course. After defeating Roddick for the first time at Wimbledon, Federer went on to defeat Mark Philippoussis in straight sets to secure his first of 15 Major Titles. Would Roddick have defeated Sillypoosis? It's a toss up, but we'll give it to him, so the number is now 2.

The following season, Roddick advanced to the Finals of Wimbledon after having destroyed the field. In his matches prior to the Finals Roddick dropped just one set. But yet again it was Federer standing between him and the trophy and yet again it was Federer winning the key tiebreakers holding up the trophy. If Federer didn't exist, there's no doubt in my mind that Roddick takes home the title, so the number is now 3.

In 2005 the cycle went on rinse, wash, repeat. Again Roddick battled his way through the field into the Wimbledon finals and again the man waiting for him was none other than Roger Federer. In all likelihood if Federer didn't exist it would have been Lleyton Hewitt standing in Roddick's way. This would have been an epic match but we'll give it to Roddick, so the number is now 4.

In 2006, despite struggling for the majority of the season and falling to #9 in the rankings, Roddick brought his A game to the US Open. He blistered the field and made it to the finals to face, Federer of course. Federer easily dispatched of him in 4 sets after defeating Nikolay Davydenko in the semis. If Roddick faced Davydenko in the finals, he would have won. So the number is now 5.

In 2007 Roddick was twice thwarted in a major by Mr. Federer. In the Australian Open at the start of the season, Roddick advanced to the Semifinals only to be bounced by Federer. The other finalist, Fernando Gonzalez was playing terrifically before getting pummeled by Federer, but I'd give Roddick a punchers chance. Later in 07, Roddick as the 5 seed got the lucky draw of pulling Federer in the quarterfinals. He of course lost and then watched Federer beat Davydenko and Djokovic to take home the US Open Title. If Federer didn't exist than Roddick would have had a chance to take home both titles and for the sake of this post we say his does, so the number is now at 7.

In 2008 Roddick was an embarrassment, so we'll skip the entire year.

In 2009 however, Roddick has come back with avengence. In his first three majors he's equalled or bettered his best result. Unfortunately, equalling his best results in the Australian Open and Wimbledon meant losing to Federer once again. In the Australian Open this season Roddick knocked off Djokovic in the quarterfinals but would have needed to fight through Federer and then Nadal in the finals. To be realistic, even if Federer didn't exist, he likely would have lost to Nadal.

And finally we come to the Wimbledon finals this past weekend where Roddick was likely playing his best tennis ever. He certainly was playing his best tennis against Federer in a Grand Slam tournament. Yet it still wasn't enough. He couldn't take home the title because that one man stood in his way. If Federer didn't? Than the number would currently sit at 8.

If Roddick's number was at 8 he'd sit amongst the greatest American players of all time. He would have equalled Andre Agassi and Jimmy Connors totals. He would have bettered John McEnroe's total of 7. But instead he had to play his career in parallel with the greatest player of all time. He had to face off against Federer every time he advanced deep into a Grand Slam tournament and instead of 8 he sits at 1. And thus instead of the sitting amongst the greatest players in American lore, he's listed as amongst the greatest disappointments. Simply put, it's all because of one man, Roger Federer.

Of the two players listed above one was voted into the All Star game while the other, despite a public plea on his behalf, could not get induction. Can you name the two players and figure out which one made the all star team?

Mister Shaq likes to cuddle, but he just can't stay with the same cuddle buddy for too long.

One of these two players made the All Star team. One of these players is a perennial All Star for a fading Major League team while the other is an up and coming ace for a first place team. One of these pitchers is pitching tomorrow the other lost yesterday.

Can you guess whom the players are?

When Rafael Nadal proclaimed two weeks ago that he was not going to be healthy enough to defend his crown, the wind was severely taken out of Wimbledon's sails. No longer could Wimbledon offer the amazing 5-set final between Nadal and Federer. No longer would Federer need to get over the Nadal hurdle to win his record 15th major. Everything seemed to line up towards Federer destroying the entire field and cruising towards another title in London.

The last thing we could have expected was Andy Roddick to return with a vengeance. For the 03 & 04 finalist to reemerge as one of the best grass court players in the game. And even further, the last thing anyone could have expected was for Roddick to battle for so long and so evenly with Federer, a man who has dominated him to endless ends during his career. But there he stood for nearly 4 hours without losing a serve. There he stood tied tied at two sets a piece, where he not Federer had an opportunity in each of the 4 sets.

For all the talk about Nadal v. Federer 08, Roddick v. Federer 09 just might have equalled it in excitement. Both were heart wrenching 5 setters. Both had its twists and turns. Both involved Federer winning epic tie breakers. Both had Federer getting behind quickly and needing to fight back. Both had dominating serving and blistering winners. In 08 you had Nadal searching to finally get over the hump on grass and complete the dominant lap past Federer. In 09 you had Roddick, forever behind Federer trying to get just his 3rd victory over the greatest player of all time, and trying to do this on the biggest stage tennis has to offer. In 09 Roddick was the clear underdog, and we always love the underdog, hell even I was pulling for Roddick.

In the end Federer was just too much, Roddick couldn't quite get it done. But he did give us a classic, a classic which will always be discussed as one of the most entertaining major finals of all time.

Randy Johnson is f'n old so it's fun to see just where he's played in his career. Six teams really isn't that much. Certainly not the travels of the Rickey.

His path is as follows: MON->SEA->HOU->ARI->NYY->ARI->SF.

In an effort to get "Free" Marketing the Boys at and Girls at Gatorade, like to send out free stuff to bloggers in hopes that they'll spread the word on the great new product lines Gatorade is about to unveil. In December they sent me a big box of Gatorade with their "G" branding and new naming styles, I didn't oblige on the posting. Well yesterday I get home and I have a gigantic box with a mysterious container in it.

So I open it, and what do I find three different flavors of Gatorade, ooh boy.

But it also comes with instructions on what it is both on the sheet in between the three Gatorades and on the handy 1GB USB Thumb Drive equipped with promotional images and PDFs. And well since I actually value a 1GB thumb drive, mostly because I've always been too lazy to buy one, I give you their campaign and do their bidding for them.

It's a limited addition Jordan Set, highlighting Then, Now, and Forever because he's going into the hall of fame. So if you collect Gatorade bottles, and who doesn't, this has to get you excited.

Yesterday the Memphis Grizzlies decided to ship Quentin Richardson for Zach Randolph which begs the question, WHY? Why in the world do you want Zach Randolph? How has this man and his incredibly bloated contract actually been traded three times in as many seasons?

In each of his trades he was acquired for essentially nothing. The Knicks acquired him from Portland for Steve Francis, Channing Frye and a bag of peanuts aka nothing of value. The Clippers acquired him for Cuttino Mobley and Tim Thomas even though Cuttino Mobley had a heart issue that forced him into retirement. And now the Grizzlies pick him up for an aging Quentin Richardson who no longer can shoot the basketball. In each case the Randolph trader was eager as hell to dump him despite the fact that he is almost a guaranteed 20 & 10.

So if you're the Memphis Grizzlies, what the hell are you doing? Shouldn't it be evident by the fact that nobody wants him that you shouldn't deal for him. When the Clippers said yes to Quentin Richardson, shouldn't that have thrown up some big red flags?

The worst part is that Memphis is building their team around youth, and youth with a potentially checkered past. The #1 star OJ Mayo has his NCAA Scandal and high school issues. The #2 star Rudy Gay was massively accused for less than stellar effort while at UConn. And now Zach Randolph is going to be the veteran leader. That sounds like a fantastic idea.

Memphis = Stupid

Just in Case Your Knew to the Rebus, as I haven't done one in forever. THis is how it works. Each of the 6 Phrases is a Clue to the Persons identity. See if you can put together each clue and figure out whom I'm talking about.

Only weeks after the Pirates decided that it was time to rid themselves of the remainder of their 2008 outfield, they decide that its time to get a head start on blowing up the 2009 outfield. By jettisoning both Hinske and Nyjer Morgan the Pirates have officially traded 5 outfielders in just under a calendar, 4 of whom were starters. Right now it looks like they have no outfielders left to deal, but lats not put it past the Pirates just yet.

Meanwhile, the players still on the roster are expectantly unhappy with their decisions. And well they're not afraid to voice their opinions on the matter. Adam LaRoche went off after the McLouth trade but seemed reserved and defeated yesterday.

"It's not our job to understand the big plan, I guess," first baseman Adam LaRoche said, according to the report. "We've got to do the same thing we did after Nate left, try to keep it together."

Meanwhile, Jack Wilson is obviously pissed the hell off and is likely begging to get traded.

"They're businessmen. They're trying to achieve winning baseball in Pittsburgh. The biggest question is: When is that going to be? When do things start turning around?" Wilson said in the Post-Gazette. "It's just hard for guys who have been here and seen these exact same trades happen and seen it absolutely do nothing. I've been here nine years. I've seen two or three of these trades every year and still haven't had a winning season."

And finally and obviously the worst response comes from rookie Andrew McCutchen. McCutchen has been up with the team since the McClouth trade. He's a building block for the future of the team unlike LaRoche and Wilson who likely will be dealt later in the year. His anger and thoughts about the franchise just one month into the season can't make the Pirates brass happy.

"Yeah, man, you almost want to cry," said rookie outfielder Andrew McCutchen, according to the report. "This [stinks], man. You know, it's a business. It's a great loss to lose someone like this. Not just on the field, but off the field as well. There's nobody who can replace what he can do off the field."

Man that really makes me wonder what Morgan can do off the field. Team Psychiatrist? Team Masseuse? Team Happy Ending Maker? Whatever it is, its not good that the rookie is already willing to mouth off about the franchise.

In the end, the Pirates are likely doing the right thing. There's no point in having a player like Hinske on their roster. In all likelihood Milledge has way more potential than does Nyjer Morgan. Later this summer when they trade any other marketable piece, they will again be doing the right thing. It's time to build up the system. To make up for their glaring mistakes in the draft. And to attempt to do what every other small market team that wins does, build up a roster of young talent.

Because I had so much fun putting together The Map of Hinske yesterday, I figured I'd tinker around with it for someone who played for even more teams. My choice, Rickey Henderson. Why? Because the dude's hilarious and he refused to play with anywhere in the middle of the country.

This is the cronology of his career: OAK->NYY->OAK->TOR->OAK->SDP->ANA->OAK->NYM->SEA->SDP->BOS->Newark Bears->LAD->Newark Bears->San Diego Surf Dogs.

It's just one game and it was bound to eventually happen given how fantastic the Sox bullpen has been the entire season, but damn it was fun to watch Boston's Bullpen Implosion last night.

Who would have thought that their massive win streak against the Oreo's would have ended after a 10-1 lead in the 7th? Who would have thought Oscar Salazar would have hit a three run home run? Who actually knows who Oscar Salazar is? Who would have thought that the Papelboner would give up the lead on a double to Markakis? And then who really thought that Sherrill would have actually slammed the door shut?

But it all happenned and the Sox lead is down to 2.5 and the win streak against the Oreo's is at negative 1.

Looking at the standings as a Yankee fan today you'll register two frightening prospects. First the Red Sox are 3.5 games up in the standings, but secondly and more importantly the Rays are starting to play like the defending AL Champions again. Despite winning their last six games, the Yankees have lost ground during that span thanks to the Rays winning 7 in a row.

The Rays are getting hitting from every position on the field. Ben Zobrist is emerging as a beast out of nowhere. Jason Bartlett is having by far the best season of his career. Carlos Pena is mashing on a pace to the upper 40s. Carl Crawford is back healthy, the power is showing up and the speed is out of this world. BJ Upton is starting to emerge from his major funk at the start of the year. Their lineup top to bottom is deep and very athletic.

The pitching is getting healthy and throwing well. The staff is 5 deep with Kazmir now back to go along with Shields, Garza, Niemann, and Price/Sonnastine. Shields and Garza have remained dominate this season. Kazmir had a solid first outing after coming off the DL. Niemann has given up more than 3 runs just once in his last ten starts. And finally, while Price and Sonnastine have both struggled to an extent only one will need to remain in the rotation. The one major questionmark is the bullpen, but for the most part that's been pieced together and pitching well over the last month.

The AL East is once again a three team race and it's going to stay that way through September.