Drew Rosenhaus: Agent to the A-Holes

Friday, August 31, 2007

Drew Rosenhaus seems like an a-hole. It comes as no surprise that he would represent an eclectic group of atheletes of equal or greater a-holeness. The current Lance Briggs “I like to smash up peoples dream cars” situation sparked my in interest this. I started asking Simon about it, and after some research, this is what I’ve come up with…

First, you can view the Rosenhaus Sports Representation client list here at the never questioned Wikipedia. You can tell by the Superman symbol that they can not only get you an outstanding contract, but can do it faster than a speeding bullet while they leap tall buildings in a single bound. I could go on and on about what a smarmy ass clown this guy is, but I’d rather talk about scumbag idiot athletes. Who knew smarmy was an actual word?

1) Lance Briggs I know he says he “panicked” and abandoned the scene, but I’ve abandoned the scene before and then ate a half jar of peanut butter and waited for the cruiser. Of course I had the luxury of being 150 feet from my front door.

2) Ocho Cinco Did you see his behavior the other day? That was a preseason game, keep that in mind.

3) Ben Brainlikeahamburger As if football wasn’t punishing enough, you have to go out and bust your head up on motorcycle? Concussions will f*ck you up, see Troy Aikman, Trent Green, every boxer in history.

4) Olindo Mare If there is a bigger a-hole, I’ve never seen him.

5) Clinton Portis Defender of dog fighting, endorser of the home stripper pole. Ok, so the home stripper pole is a plus.

6) Warren Sapp My hatred for Sapp runs deeper then any hatred I have for any other athlete. Mostly, I hate that he is a fat mess of a human being and can still make millions being an athlete. That and blindsiding offensive lineman miles behind the play. You can say, “That’s football,” but we all know that it was low down and dirty. Did I mention I hate him?

7) TO I think that’s self explanatory.

Although I haven't included them in this list, lets keep in mind the ridiculous number of holdouts that Rosenhaus has induced. Rosenhaus makes money by bullying and holding out, and I agree with him that the rules are skewed towards the owners/teams and not the players, but I have to agree with Al Thompson on this one. If you’re going to demand fair compensation for over-performance, then you open yourself up to the opposite. In terms of the holding out, that's absolute crap. With the exception of rookies (and that's a stretch because they are unproven) holding out is the highest form of scumbaggery. You signed a contract. In my book that means you've put your word and your honor down on paper for a certain amount of money. Demanding more money at all is a slight on your word and honor at any point during the contract and I won't even talk about one year into the contract.

I believe I’ve made my point here. None of that stuff was very terrible, but everybody on that list is an idiot, with the exception of Mare, who is a complete idiot.

Keep in mind that I would kill myself in ways nobody has ever even imagined to be in Rosenhaus’ shoes at age 42. I guess I’ll have to settle for paying my student loans off by then.

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Giant Bear + Balance Beam = Nut Pain



It's ok though cause he did his tough guy chest pound afterwards. That's right you're hard or your nuts are small enough that somehow that missed.

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Friday Quicknotes

~James Blake actually didn't choke in the 5th set last night that is friggin great. Cost me a about an hour of sleep but it was worth it watching Santoro's 1980s beach polo. Santoro is also pretty fun to watch because he's french and well a pussy, he can't hit the ball hard so all he does is slice and lob and act like a human mosquito. It would be overly annoying to play that guy.

~100% Injury Rate which always seems to dig up solid stories uncovered the fact that their is a Vick-esque dog fighting incident in Ireland right now. Gerard Calvin a Gaelic Football star got busted for his own Dog Fighting ring. Good thing he's from Northern Ireland so I can disassociate myself from him

~So who wants to play beer pong digitally, on the Wii of course. Does the Wii have solid internet connection, like will you be able to play a buddy in beer pong on the web? That's insanity, and overly anti-social.

~Remember when Billy Wagner choked non stop for the Phillies a few years back when they needed him to make the postseason? Remember how Armando Benitez sucked in September and October for the Mets? Well Billy seems to be combining his play with the Phillies and pieces of Armando.

~More on the Mets, they are playing the Braves this weekend and well the Braves own them and the Braves have the advantage in every single pitching matchup. Their offense better get in gear big time because they easily could find themselves not in first place in either the East or the Wildcard come monday.

~I found this funny, the Cubs have the largest division lead in the National League.

~Why the hell would Major League Baseball be that concerned with Terry Francona wearing the correct uniform under his pullover jacket? Asking him during the game? What the hell is the big friggin deal? Sometimes you have to wonder about these friggin rules.

~The Yanks have the Red Sox and Mariners series remaining. The rest of the series are KC, TB, Toronto and Baltimore. It's time they stop sucking against Baltimore.

~Hooray for the NCAA they did something sensible by allowing Oklahoma to pay for a recruit's funeral after he was shot to death on friday. Initially Oklahoma told their booster to stop because they thought they might be subject to NCAA violation because the brother of the deceased is a Sophomore Running back.

~If you were going to take a guess as to which soccer team was wearing a white jersey with a singular red cross you would have to guess England right? Well if you know anything about international flags you would. And well you would be wrong, that is Serie A Italian Powerhouse Inter Milan who typically wears blue and black stripes. Apparently they have a patron saint. Umm, ok.

~I really need photoshop, paint works most of the time but it needs the ability to rotate pictures at degrees not divisible by 90.

~Here are my EC columns this week, one about the lame Mets call on Wednesday night and one on Babalu. Check them out if you are so inclined.

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Weekly Waste of Oxygen

Not Quite to the level of Waste of Mr. Beckett last week but this week did provide us with some nice meltdowns in temper and logic. Here are this weeks contestants:

1. Brett Myers - You know maybe I can understand making excuses after blowing a game at the launching pad that is in Philadelphia by giving up two homers in the ninth. Calling the homers popups. And maybe I can understand flipping out on the press. But doing both in the span of a few minutes simply because the one reporter said he thought one of the homers was legit. Ya Anger problems.

2. Rafer Alston - Just what the NBA needs to improve its image, a little casual knife fight. Skip 2 My Lou is giving the And 1 mix tape tour a bad rap, well except for maybe the Professor he probably could use a little hard image change considering he's got the physique of Cotton.

3. Renato "Babalu" Sobral - The first rule of fight club You Do Not Talk about Fight Club... Seventh Rule, Fights will go as long as they have to. Apparently Babalu thinks that as long as they have to is significantly after a man taps out. I guess if you want to look on the bright side, he only choked him out until he was unconscious and not to death.

4. Lance Briggs - At first I just thought it was the normal get into an accident at night drunk run away from the car ordeal. But than Briggs throws a screw ball and says that he called the cops to report the vehicle stolen, and then called them to say actually it was his fault. Now it is assured he was drunk, either that or he's one of the dumbest men on the planet.
Get Your Vote On

Last Weeks Winner:
Allan Michael Beckett

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Friday Video Blowout


That was intelligence at it's finest. And check out her subway map, it's pretty damn funny.


Wow tough guy one second, infant baby the next. Personifies Cub fans everywhere.



Now if he was on the sidelines and not in the game when he did this does the team have to play with 10 men? Does he get a red card, I'd imagine so.


Some people in the South don't like watching a fat out of shape kid get his ass kicked by a professional MMA fighter? Wow people in the South believe in humanity, who knew.


I love when Refs get jacked up...


I didn't know blindfolds turned you into Hellen Keller... Thanks for that Ashley.

Courtesy of (in order) EC, With Leather, Who Ate All the Pies, 100% Injury Rate, Youtube, FoodCourtLunch

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What Do the Joba Rules Say Now

Thursday, August 30, 2007


Mr. Chamberlain got thrown out of the game after an inning and a third today. For throwing high nonetheless, which Sterling said was nonsense, I guess we'll believe him. Although Youkilis is ugly so I would say that the intent could have been there.

But the question must be asked, since he pitched an inning and a third, can he pitch on Saturday? Even Sterling said, "I wonder if this means that Joba can pitch after just one days rest." Very astute John, I am shocked.

My guess is Chamberlain can pitch on Saturday only if the inning comes after 3:33. Why? Because that doesn't make any sense, kind of like the overly precautious Joba rules in the first place. Oh, and he threw less than 20 pitches again so he could by Little League standards pitch tomorrow.

But in solid news the Yankees swept. Woo. And Edwar avoided what could have been the lamest first earned run in a professional career. Since if he let Youkilis on base the hit or walk would have been credited to Chamberlain and so would have the run. But alas, a subject that won't have to be brought up.

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The Doggie Trials


You better have that worried look on your face Michael. Underdog takes crap from no one. He's going to tear you limb from limb.

Courtesy of Gary Varvel

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Kid Gloves Would Be an Overstatement

Ever since bringing up Joba Chamberlain the Yanks have enforced the so called Joba rules in which for every inning he pitches during a game he needs a day off. This somewhat makes sense since Joba is a starting pitcher and is not used to throwing daily and he is a prized jewel in the organization so why risk damage to his arm. The Yanks should be cautious and make sure nothing destructive happens over the last month and a half of the season.

Meanwhile the Little League World Series was going on and I was very much annoyed by their new pitching restrictions on players. You could only throw 85 pitches in a game? Come on. The kid from Texas had a chance to make history twice but was kicked to the curb cause he hit 85 pitches. And they implemented a strict 20 pitch rule where if you threw over 20 pitches in a game you couldn't throw the next day, so sometimes kids didn't get threw a single inning and had to be taken out so they could be brought into the game the next day.

Then last night when Joba couldn't pitch because of the Joba rules it hit me, the Yankees are treating Joba like a little leaguer. And I decided to look up Joba's stats and his pitch counts per game and it was even more extreme than I initially thought. The Joba Rules are more restrictive than the rules for 11 and 12 year olds.

Joba has entered 8 games this season thus far, in those games he has throw 2 innings twice and a single inning the remaining six times. In his two inning outings he threw 21 and 33 pitches respectively, in Little League rules this calls for a single day off, in Joba rules it calls for two days off. In Joba's single inning appearances he has yet to reach the 20 pitch mark, his largest total being 19 against the Red Sox on monday. In Little League rules Joba could have pitched the next day every single time, in Joba rules he needs to take a day off before his next appearance.

Now I'm in favor of not blowing up the kids arm, but he's not an 11 or 12 year old. And in reality the Yankees are treating him with standards so extreme that every single appearance the Joba rules have called for an extra days worth of rest from the overly strict Little League Rules.

Loosen up the restrictions a little bit Cashman, he's the best arm you got in the bullpen (Did You Watch Farny Last Night) and the kid can certainly be held to hire standards than a 5 foot 2 115 pound 12 year old Texan.

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Support the Mustached American



"Fighting the Biased and Discrimination against the Mustached American. Doing whatever we can to support to Mustached American, so that they can live their lives as freely as someone without a mustache."

Well said my mustachio'd friend. Well Said.

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The Big 5 College Football Games of the Weekend

Wednesday, August 29, 2007


5. Eastern Carolina Pirates at Virginia Tech Hokies
This game is less about the competitiveness and more about the return of College Football and some distractions to the VaTech campus after the horrible events of earlier this year. If anything can bring that community together it's their passion for the football team. In addition College Gameday will be there. The Pick: VaTech by mucho

4. Louisiana State Tigers at Mississippi State Bulldogs
The opener on National Television tomorrow night. The game shouldn't really be that competitive. MSU is very bad and and LSU is amongst the National Title hopefuls. But it signals the start of football in 2007 and for that reason its big. So enjoy the first half before the game is out of hand. The Pick: LSU in a landslide

3. Florida State Seminoles at Clemson Tigers
Bowden bowl in the opening week of the season? Interesting. Personally I'm not a fan of big in conference matchups to open the season, I really think there should be a game or two to open up against out of conference teams. At the end of the season the conference title could be determined by the first game, that just doesn't seem right. The Pick: FSU going for the Senior

2. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets at Notre Dame Fighting Irish
This could be a fun year for the average Notre Dame hater. They left all of their cake walk games for the end of the schedule and could get off to a brutal start. I just don't think GaTech is going to be that terrific this year either and maybe I'm the lone one here but I think ND will pull this one out. The Pick: ND

1. Tennessee Volunteers at California Golden Bears
This home and home series is pretty sweet. They both have high expectations they both are ranked, though not as high as last season, and with the first 3 hours of the season one will see their national title dreams pretty much smashed. Oh the glory of scheduling a good opponent Week 1 instead of Appalachian St. or Buffalo. The Pick: Cal Bears for revenge

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2007 College Football Season Predictions

College Football starts tomorrow night... Yes tomorrow night, fall is almost upon us so here goes a full out conference by conference BCS by BCS prediction. And then in January I can pretend like I was a genius or not mention how bad my picks were.

Conferences I Don't Care About Winners

Sub Belt: Louisiana Lafayette, cause their Ragin Cajuns.
CUSA East: Southern Miss, Home of Favre.
CUSA West: Houston, Cause Everyone Loves Cougars.
CUSA Winner: Houston, Again Cougars = USA.
MAC East: Bowling Green, Cause I like Bowling.
MAC West: Western Michigan, A Directional Michigan Winning?
MAC Winner: Western Michigan, And the Title too?
Mountain West: TCU, Blew it last year, won't this year.
WAC: Hawaii, Colt Brennan will put up massive #s.

Important Conference Winners

ACC Atlantic: I'm going bounce back year for FSU in the ACC Atlantic because they finally fired their douche offensive coordinator that refused to get it done year after year. Now Bobby brought in some real coaches so maybe just maybe they can convince their QB not to suck. And well the ACC really isn't that good.

ACC Coastal: Everyone should root for VaTech this year unless they are playing your school. And everyone should hope that they pull through and win the ACC Coastal so that they can throw parties on the beaches of Blacksburg... err the mountainous landscape which resides nowhere near the Atlantic Ocean.

ACC Winner: VaTech 20 FSU 9, Hokie pride. I really think the defense should carry VaTech to the title this season. Granted Glennon sucks, really badly and they typically choke atleast a couple times a season. But this year could be different. Vick will be celebrating in lockdown.

Big East Winner: Another three team battle between Rutgers, West Virginia and Louisville. The Big East which looked like the ugly stepsister of the BCS for so long has one of the most intriguing races in all of football this season. Come October 27th when WVU heads to Piscataway I expect all three teams to be undefeated. And you know what I'm gonna be the odd ball that says Rutgers gets it done that game, but then loses to Louisville in a reversal of last years fate. And Louisville takes the Big East crown.

Big 10 Winner: Me talking about the Big 10 has some major biases. I love Michigan, but as a fan know that they pretty much choke every single year, and that is before they lose the bowl game. This year I think they finally get it done against Ohio St. but their stumbling block comes in Badgerland, but the Badgers lose a few games earlier in the season and Michigan ends up with the Big 10 crown.

Big 12 North: For the first time in years their might actually be reason to care about the Big 12 North, well atleast one team, as Nebraska should actually be pretty good this season. Reason being they actually have a veteran QB who has had a lot of success during college, just not at Nebraska. Arizona St. transfer Sam Keller is their Qb.

Big 12 South:Bob Stoops probably isn't very happy at the fact he will be suiting up a red shirt freshman to play Quarterback for the Sooners this year. Especially considering during their peak years he was running out 5th year seniors. Once again this will come down to the Red River Shootout, unless A&M makes a push which is doubtful, and Texas will again take it home.

Big 12 Title Game: Texas 24 Nebraska 20, the Longhorns sneak by the Cornhuskers to pave their way to the BCS... But which game?

Pac 10 Winner: Wake me up when the Pac-10 supplies some competition for the Trojans. It's been the Pac 1+9 for a long time right now and their is no evidence that it is going to change this season. USC is going to continue to run the train on their competition and this year won't choke against UCLA.

SEC East: They won the national title last year and lost a lot of players and a lot of folks think they're going to have a down season. Me? I think the SEC East is a big clusterf*ck and no one is going to come close to running the table and eventually Florida will sneak out of the pac because Urban Meyer is a genius.

SEC West: The SEC West is probably going to be down this season from it's typical standards and Les "Assbag" Miles should have his defensive juggernaut ready to run havoc on the competition.

SEC Winner: Florida 17 LSU 13, Les Miles vs. Urban Meyer... hmm... I'm sorry I don't have to put much thought into Urban Meyer masterminding a game plan which leads him to defeat a team with slightly superior talent.

Heisman Winner

Personally I think the Heisman is up for grabs this year big time with no real front runner. I know people are in love with McFadden but will Arkansas be that good this season? Everyone and their mother is picking USC for the title so won't that give Booty the edge? I'm gonna go out on a limb and pick someone a little less likely. Ray Rice of Rutgers. His numbers were phenomenal last season, Rutgers has a cake walk early schedule in which he can pile up big time numbers and big time hype and Rutgers can climb up the polls. If Rutgers can get it done against UL and/or WVU he will be there at the Ceremony with a chance to take the trophy home.

BCS Title Game Predictions

Fiesta Bowl: Wisconsin vs. Oklahoma - The Fiesta bowl always brings some random matchup. Wisconsin Oklahoma is pretty random. I actually think the Badgers would pull of this victory.

Orange Bowl: Virginia Tech vs. West Virginia - West Virginia finishes the season near the bubble of BCS eligible schools however the Orange Bowl seeks out this rivalry because, well the two schools hate each other and will travel well to the game and bring a little mountain interest. Tech ends up knocking out White or Slaton from the game and taking home BCS win.

Rose Bowl: Michigan vs. LSU - Another season another trip to the Rose Bowl for Michigan and another loss. Not much else to say. This will bode well for LSU next season.

Sugar Bowl: Florida vs. Louisville - After Louisville snipes the Big East Crown on some sort of weird fangled tie breaker they get to face Florida in the Sugar bowl. Aka, they get throttled in the Sugar Bowl.

National Title Game: USC vs. Texas - Both teams run the table, the only two in the country to do so. Here's the indelible pattern that you should realize by now if you've paid attention to college football, you beat Michigan in the Rose Bowl you win the next National Championship, perhaps that's their excuse for being dominated in the game. 2004 Michigan loses to USC 28-14, USC dominates Oklahoma in the national championship game. 2005 Michigan loses to Texas 38-37 because Vince Young acts like god, next year Vince Young acts like god again and knocks of the Trojans. 2007 USC throttle Michigan next year the Trojans parade around the town with another trophy.

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Being a Mascot Can Be Fun



See this is what half time entertainment should be all of the time. Children get wrecked by something, whether that be mascots or actual NFL players. More children getting hit = more quality entertainment.

Courtesy of First and 10 Inches

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Saddest News of the Millennium

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Yesterday, I sent out a desperate plea for folks to vote for Kige Ramsey for the Deadspin Hall of Fame. He was right there yesterday when I mailed in my last vote. He sat at 72.9% just a mere 2.1% percent away from the strict Deadspin Cutoff. Over the next hour Kige climbed closer and closer and reached 74.1% of the vote, just .9% away. But alas he was denied, so close and yet so far. What a sad day for everyone in the blogosphere universe.

I implore you Mr. Leitch, a Veteran's Committee vote for Kige Ramsey. Phil Rizzuto didn't get in on the Writers' Ballot, but the Veteran's Committee was there to back him up and send the Scooter to the Hall.

Like Scooter, Kige always brings his best to his broadcasts. He offers top notch opinions like calling Who's Now one of the best segments Sportscenter has ever done. You have to have a lot of stones to take such a controversial stance on such a hot topic. Only someone deserving of a hall of fame could ever take away some of my hatred towards Who's Now.

Kige Ramsey is a first ballot hall of famer, it is a shame that he is going to be treated like Goose Gossage and fall just short of such an honor. The people that didn't vote for you are the ones who refuse to vote for Nolan Ryan or Cal Ripken saying that no one should go into the Hall Unanimously. Those voters are always wrong, and so were these Deadspinners.

I mourn for you Kige and hope that this never discourages you from keeping up your professionalism and top notch analysis. You are a hall of famer in my eyes.

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People Are Reaching a Bit


Last night their just so happened to be a Lunar Eclipse in Massachusetts, so of course someone in Massachusetts had to remember that there was a Lunar Eclipse the last time the Red Sox won the World Series and therefore it's a good omen.

"The last time there was a mix of a lunar eclipse and a baseball game it worked out really well for the Red Sox," Binzel said. "We'll see if the magic can repeat itself."

How about the omen that is good is the fact that the Yanks have lost 5 of their last 7 games and are coming off a pummeling at the hands of the Tigers.

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Tiger > Sir Charles



Tiger Woods is sweet. I can't wait until Sir Charles is in Tiger Woods golf sometime in the future. I wonder if on the Wii if you were to use Sir Charles you would have to attempt the hitch in the swing. Legitimately I don't think anyone in the world has a worse golf swing.

Courtesy of Sons of Sam Malone

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How to Trash Talk Without Words...


Well use your hair of course. The only problem is that Chad Johnson went for 83 yards on 5 catches with one touchdown... So the trash talk didn't remotely work. I'm beginning to think that DeAngelo Hall is one of the most overrated players in the NFL, I'm sure his hype will go down a bit this season when the Falcons suck though.

Courtesy of Mr. Irrelevant and the Fanhouse

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Vote for Kige Ramsey

Monday, August 27, 2007


Kige's analysis is so crisp and on the money all the time, the kid needs to make the Deadspin hall. It will be his lifelong crowning achievement.

Vote For Kige for the Deadspin Hall of Fame

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Teeth Loss Attempt



I always kind of felt the steeple chase didn't get enough pub during typical track events. But now that I've seen a dude headbutt the massive hurdle, I'm thinking it definitely needs more love.

Courtesy of Fanhouse

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Monday Quick Notes

~In points you can make to say golf is not a sport see exhibit A. Colt Knost, who played in yesterday's US Amateur final and won. See he's fat, really fat as you can see. I think he's got a keg and a half instead of a six pack. I'm surprised he can actually walk 18 holes. He's the reason why golfers should carry their own bags, I don't think he could handle it.

~Travis Henry needs to get paid. Why because he has 9 different children with 9 different woman in 4 different states and he needed to borrow cash from the Titans to pay off payments he missed last season.

~Lance Briggs totaled his $350,000 Lamborghini on a Chicago Expressway and fled the scene leaving the car abandoned. This screams one of two things either someone stole the car, or Briggs was drunk and didn't want to get a DUI and thus fled the scene. I'd assume the latter.

~Vick Officially plead guilty this morning so we can enjoy his sentencing.... Which takes place in f*ing December. What? December 10th, that's 12+ weeks into the football season, damn. Basically I think it all depends on how many people he rats out on what his sentence may or may not be reduced to.

~How about Boomer Wells hustling out a bunt single last night. That was the best thing I've seen all week. Get the dude an oxygen mask.

~Meanwhile in out of shape pitcher news, Todd Jones ran to 1st base to get Hideki Matsui out and he stated "I'm gonna need some time."

~The Yanks really need better pitching, which is almost assuredly not going to happen today with Mussina taking the hill.

~The Little League World Series this weekend was sweet with three walkoff homers. But the 85 pitch rule is completely lame.

~Ronaldo the Brazilian Superstar soccer player who has been ridiculed over the past few seasons for being overweight, has a medical condition which lead to it. Ha, Brazil was killing a player who had no control over being fat.

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The Devil Loves Lane Splits


So I traveled up to Mass this weekend to booze it up with my college buddies. I won one dominating game of horseshoes (Clarky is good), I broke one patio chair leg and carried it around like it was a Preying Mantis leg, I was probably incredibly annoying to everyone involved, and then I passed out on a sofa most likely before everyone else, all an all a mediocre to poor showing by myself but still a good time.

But on to what pissed me off this weekend, the Mass Pike. So I'm heading up on saturday afternoon and I'm making beautiful time, driving about 85 the entire way until all of a sudden I get on the Mass Pike and within a mile I'm in bumper to bumper traffic. Because I am completely impatient this pisses me off to no end. Eventually leading me to just drop F bombs at the top of my lungs for no other reason then I'm pissed off and want to move.

So of course what always peaks my interest is what stupid shit garnered this traffic. Could it be someone pulled off on the side of a road? Perhaps a truck (that lead to massive traffic on 84 on my voyage home). Could it actually be a decent accident which deserves traffic backed up. Is it something dumb like they decided to just drop the highway from 3 to 2 lanes to do construction?

No it was none of the above. It was a f*ing lane split. Aka the fast lane had to veer to the left an additional 10 ft and the two lanes on the right moved a couple of feet over and there was a portion of the road in between blocked off. This road split last for about 30 yards. So it was nothing, absolutely nothing, you had to move your god damn car over 10 ft for about 10 seconds of driving and then it cleared up right after that. So essentially I was in 35 minutes of stop and go traffic because some assclown needed to break because they need to move their car 10 feet to the left and created a clusterf*ck of traffic. I hope you sir got food poisoning or someone pulled an Oklahoma nut grab on you. You dirt bag.

And but of course the same shit happened on the way home. Another 35 minutes of my life thrown down the crapper cause the Mass Pike blows. Ugh...

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Schoolwork: Yankees vs. Red Sox

So I have a class and one of my assignments was to do an analysis of two competitors in a business. And because I did well in the rest of my assignments and the teacher is an ardent Yankee fan I figured why the hell not, lets do a Yankee vs. Red Sox comparison.

Focus

In the upcoming stages of professional baseball the two teams that stand above the rest will be the Yankees and the Red Sox. Due to the financial structure of major league baseball teams that can raise their salary levels higher than the typical team have a significant advantage to compete. This paper will analyze the similarities and differences in ways that the Yankees and Red Sox are currently acquiring their cash to supply to their teams salaries and possible ventures in the future, which could expand their wealth.

The paper will provide a value curve comparison between the two franchises.

Value Curve Categories

Brand Name: Both franchises have a large history resulting in loyal local fan bases as well fans throughout the entire United States. This is evident in road attendance figures. Since 2001 the Yankees have lead Major League Baseball in road attendance 5 times while the Red Sox lead in Road Attendance Numbers in 2005 and are the current leaders this season.

Forbes magazine estimated that the Yankees are worth 1.2 billion dollars while the Red Sox are worth an estimated 724 million.

The Red Sox and Yankees are vastly ahead of the majority of major league clubs with regards to brand name and image.

Foreign Expansion: The Yankees expanded their brand image to Japan initially with the signing of Hideki Irabu. However their biggest splash has come with the signing of left fielder Hideki Matsui. With the signing of Matsui the Yankees saw their telecasts to Japan take an immediate jump from 20 per season to around 100 games each season. In addition the signing of Matsui opened the doors for Japanese advertising both on television and from within the stadium. A Japanese newspaper currently has an advertisement on the left field wall behind Matsui when he is in the field. The Red Sox entered the Japanese market this season with the signing of Daisuke Matsuzaka who was amongst the Japanese best pitchers. The deal has given the Red Sox similar Japanese advertising and coverage as the Yankees received with Matsui. To further their exploitation the Red Sox have developed a ticket package called the Daisuke experience which allows people to watch the game and meet Daisuke Matsuzaka.

In addition the Yankees became the first major league baseball team this season to sign a player from mainland China in an effort to further their international brand.

Furthermore, the New York Yankee symbol is synonymous with the city. And often in foreign markets Yankee hats can be seen in stores to allow the customers to purchase a New York product.

The Yankees and Red Sox are much further ahead of the typical major league franchise when it comes to global expansion. The only other major league team that can lay claim to having as much international interest is the Seattle Mariners with Ichiro Suzuki.

Stadiums: Both teams currently play in tradition soaked stadiums that are amongst the three oldest stadiums in the country. With Fenway Park the Red Sox have the smallest capacity in the major leagues. However, they have increased their capacity in recent years with the addition of premium seating above the Green Monster as well as the .406 club. The Red Sox are currently on a stretch of 370+ sellouts and as a result have the demand to charge a higher ticket price than any other franchise. Meanwhile the Yankees lead baseball in attendance and eclipsed 4 million tickets sold in both 2005 and 2006.

The Red Sox with their additions to Fenway have made it clear they plan on staying in the historic park for the foreseeable future. In contrast the Yankees have begun developing a new Yankee Stadium to be opened in 2009. The resulting stadium, which is being built at an expense of 800 million to the franchise, is expected to increase luxury box revenue from 157 million in 2005 to an estimated 253 million in 2009. In addition the Yankees rent fee will be lowered from 10 million per season to 10 dollars per season. The Yankees may also take over the concession system or offer advertising of plazas within the new stadium to garner more revenue.

Fenway Park and the current Yankee Stadium have more prestige than other ballparks around the country. In reality though the team is what brings people to the stadium, and not the stadium itself. For the Red Sox their attendance restrictions drive up ticket demand, however it limits them hitting their top capacity, as if the stadium had more seats more tickets would be sold.

TV Networks: Both the Yankees and Red Sox ventured into the cable TV business which the staple point is their baseball franchise. The Yankees own a 37 percent share in the Yankees Entertainment and Sports (YES) network which was recently valued at a price of 3 to 3.5 Billion dollars. The Red Sox own an 80 percent share of the New England Sports Network (NESN). Both Networks provide a large revenue stream per season from cable fees and advertising.

Only a few other major league baseball teams have ownership in a television network.

Additional TV Revenue: Both franchises are commonly featured on nationally televised games by the FOX network and ESPN. This furthers brand image as well as generates additional revenue. Also, the Yankees currently have a licensed deal with local UPN networks to show Friday night games, allowing non-cable subscribers in the tri-state area to watch games. Meanwhile, the Red Sox left their former agreement with UPN 38 this season and all games are broadcast on NESN with the exception of national broadcasts.
Because the Yankees and Red Sox show most of their games on NESN and YES respectively their additional TV Revenue is lower than other franchises.

Outside Ventures: Currently the Yankees as an organization have focused on baseball operations and the YES Network. Meanwhile, the Red Sox have begun to diversify and look for additional revenue streams. Earlier in 2007 the Fenway Sports Group purchased a 50 percent share in the NASCAR Roush racing team to create the Roush Fenway Racing team. Fenway Sports Group is also branching out into other businesses such as Fanfoto a project, which sells photos of fans at games.


Conclusion

The Yankees and Red Sox have significant advantages when it comes to revenue sources than do the other major league baseball teams. By having the additional revenue the Red Sox and Yankees will continue to be able to have a salary structure much higher than the typical franchises that allows them to purchase high priced free agents to bolster the current squad as well as improve the farm system coaching staffs. If the Red Sox find high success rates in their outside ventures they may be able challenge the Yankees in the near future for the largest payroll. However, if these outside ventures are not highly successful the Yankees may be able to widen the gap when they begin gaining additional revenue with the opening of the new stadium in 2009.

Yankees vs. Red Sox Sources

Red Sox expand reach through Fenway Sports Group, Sporting News. http://www.sportingnews.com/yourturn/viewtopic.php?t=258640

Home Base for Mets and Yankees Fans, NY Independent Budget Office
http://www.ibo.nyc.ny.us/iboreports/stadiumsurvey.html

New England Sports Network, Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_England_Sports_Network

YES Network, Wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/YES_Network

Roush Fenway Racing Homepage
http://www.roushfenway.com/

New York: Godzilla to the Rescue?, Business Week
http://www.businessweek.com/magazine/content/03_09/b3822075.htm

Matsuzaka Factor Mobilizes Boston, The Boston Globe
http://www.boston.com/sports/baseball/redsox/articles/2007/02/11/matsuzaka_factor_mobilizes_red_sox/

The Yankees face life after George, Fortune
http://money.cnn.com/2007/08/03/news/companies/yankees.fortune/index.htm?postversion=2007080313

The Yankees Stadium Windfall, Fortune
http://money.cnn.com/2007/08/10/news/newsmakers/yankees_stadium.fortune/index.htm

The Business of Baseball, Forbes
http://www.forbes.com/2007/04/19/business-baseball-valuations-07mlb-cz_kb_0419baseball_land.html

Red Sox Nation new king of the road, USA Today
http://www.usatoday.com/sports/baseball/al/redsox/2007-08-22-Roadattendance_N.htm

Yankees' Chinese players are meant to be start of something bigger, Yahoo Sports
http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ap-yankees-chineseplayers&prov=ap&type=lgns

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Friday Quicknotes

Friday, August 24, 2007

~First off here are my three posts at EC this week: One again about the douche who caught 756 and the other about how I think the drafting two RBs in the two rounds theory is nonsense. Where myself and Winning the Turnover Battle are engaged a little bit in the comments section as he is a major proponent of it. And this one about whether the nut grabber should be raped in prison.

~Gary Sheffield being injured is both killing the Detroit Tigers and killing two of my fantasy teams. He better just go on the DL soon, shit is killing me. If it wasn't by Sept. 1 he would be on the DL by now.

~I feel as if the Yanks are gonna rack around the Tigers yet again this weekend. I think the Tigers are set to edge themselves further away from the Indians which is a shame because at one point I thought they were the scariest team in baseball.

~David Beckham got into a little scuffle last night. Soccer scuffles are hilarious because every one is a little bitch and doesn't know how to throw punches. And once a player gets hit with anything he flies to the ground like he got hit by a Tyson punch.

~Perhaps I should have included to Orioles pitching staff in the Weekly Waste awards.

~The walkoff homers in the International Little League semifinals were pretty cool. I especially enjoyed the Venezuelans crying. Made my heart all tingly inside.

~Ozzie Guillen is considering batting Jim Thome leadoff? Just so he can get more ABs this season.

~The wunderkids that were brought up this month, Justin Upton and Cameron Maybin are both struggling to adjust and are hitting in the mid to low 20s.

~The Jets traded Pete Kendall for draft picks to surprise the Redskins. That franchise really hates draft picks.

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A Lil Trickery



The one at the 1:26 mark is probably my favorite, it's like a give it go / back door cut in basketball. Although I can't say I even knew that PK pass was legal. I thought the Keeper atleast had to touch it.

Courtesy of The Offside

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Fridays with Big Bear: I've Been Drunk Before

And I've taken part in or seen some pretty ridiculous stunts while drunk. I've seen friends get teeth smashed out their mouth, fingers damn near cut off and I've seen a gallon of beer get polished off in under 20 minutes. Well under. Hell, I've even poured a grill full of burning charcoal into my trunk...while it was full I've fireworks.

But I've never been as drunk, nor have I ever seen anybody as drunk, as you'd have to be to do something this retarded. I don't what the thought process was, but I'd like to. It was suggested to me that perhaps he was just looking for a safe place to shack up for the night and thought, "Nobody can bother me in that cage."

I for one think the bears may have looked thirsty, and perhaps this clown was trying to share the festive attitude. But, we all know how picky bears can be when it comes to beer.

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FIJI's Next Project



This should be a mandatory build at the fraternity. And launch people right into the library parking lot, I'm sure we wouldn't go on probation again or anything.

Courtesy of AA

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Weekly Waste of Oxygen

There were a few early week candidates that looked like they could be in strong contention but then one man shined above all else and proved to be perhaps the biggest waste of oxygen this year. Here are the contestants:

1. Mark Reynolds - When you're a professional baseball player striking out sucks. If you strike out the only benefit is that you effectively can't hit into a double play. Well Reynolds effectively couldn't hit into a double play 9 consecutive at bats.

2. Latrell Sprewell - Poor Latrell at one point complained about how in the world he was going to be able to feed his children on his million dollar contract. Well apparently he wasn't getting paid enough to save up and not be due over a million of back payments for his yacht. Poor Guy, now he's gonna have to sell Milwaukee's Best.

3. Atlas - Remember the old school arm wrestling games at the Arcade back in the day? They were so bulky and really not that cool. Well Japan with all their interactive games came out with a new version, which when you get to a certain difficulty level has the ability to snap your arm in half. Now thats on hard.

4. Allan Michael Beckett - If this guy isn't a runaway winner this week I will be shocked. There have been times where I've been pissed off at a Red Sox fan enough to throw him (Conidi) against the wall and tell him to shut the f* up. But never and I mean never have or will I ever think about tearing a dudes scrotum off his leg. I hope you get raped in prison a lot Mr. Beckett.

Get Your Vote On

Last Weeks Winner:
Jose Offerman

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Sideyard Gets What he Deserves

Thursday, August 23, 2007



When Sideyard was on the Sox, man was he a douche. I hated that guy and his damn NESN commercials and the Cowboy Up crap. The sad fact is that his two walks in 2004 might be the biggest at bats in Red Sox history. Kind of disgusting.

Courtesy of Fanhouse

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The List Goes On and On My Friend


30-3 now that is complete suckitude. I absolutely can't wait until Elias, Jayson Stark, or Tiny Tim comes out with some posts that analyze all of the ridiculous facts about this game. I've already heard a few solid tidbits like the Rangers struck out 30 times in their previous two games and scored 30 runs in the next. They actually didn't score in more innings than they did. The Oreo's team era went from 7th in the AL to 11th in that single game. Etc...

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Mike Missanelli Cementing Idiocy

Again I was listening to talk radio yesterday and heard more nonsensical words spoken. As we all know Tom Brady is about to be a daddy and well, he's asked for a little time off so he can witness the birth of his first child. This only happens once in your lifetime so it makes pretty much perfect sense for a man to want to witness this event, regardless of whether you are still with the mother or not.

Well apparently it doesn't make sense to Missanelli, probably because he's an idiot, but he believes that Brady essentially acted as a sperm bank and that him wanting to witness the birth of his son after he broke up with a pregnant woman is blasphemous.

Mike, get with the 21st century. First off Brady dumped her before he knew she was pregnant. Just because she was pregnant doesn't mean that Brady should fling his new girlfriend down the sewer and run back to the old girl whom he was obviously not overly happy with. Next, just because he wants to witness the birth of his child doesn't mean Giselle should be insulted, it's his first child, he should be as much a part of the child's life as Bridget. Brady is not in fact a sperm doner, Mike, he is the father who wants to be a willing participant in the child's life, how about you stop lambasting him for what any father of a divorce or separation should do. Seriously, you are a complete idiot.

Wow I can't believe I just defended Tom Brady, I think I'm gonna have to wash my mind out with some Jager and perhaps piss on Swallowman's sofa this weekend to get back a little more hatred of all things Massachusetts.

Note: My Brazilian Co-Worker is telling me that a Brazilian newspaper is saying that Giselle and Brady are engaged, which seems pretty damn weird timing to me. Watch the birth of your son with another woman and get engaged on the same day. Very weird. I don't believe it.

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Someone in Detroit Doesn't Hate Joey Harrington

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

The two biggest villains of the past 10 years in Detroit have arguably been Matt Millen and Joey Harrington. They were synonymous with the Lions failure and helped make Detroit the laughing stock of the NFL. Harrington was the third pick and struggled to find any kind of success until eventually they dumped him in favor of Jon Kitna and sent him packing to Miami last season.

Surprisingly enough their is one person coming to the defense of Joey Harrington and that person just so happens to be the best player on the Detroit Lions, Roy Williams. Roy came to the defense of Joey Harrington earlier this week and said that he thinks the system is why Harrington did not succeed in Detroit.

"I wish Joey could have stayed here and been in this offense and be able to refine his tools under coach Martz," Williams said.

"To me we were not short route guys," Williams said. "We didn't want to run the short route stuff. We wanted to run deep and I think that is what Joey wanted to do and I think that is what he was talking about being handcuffed."


So as a person that likes to read into things, lets say that Roy thinks that Matt Millen was either A) Stupid to draft Joey Harrington into a system he didn't fit or B) Matt Millen should have hired a coach to tailor the system to his first big time draft pick which he invested much of the franchise in. In other words Roy Williams thinks it's all Matt Millen's fault.

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Please Make the Vick Talk Radio Stop

As I've proclaimed before I listen to a lot of talk radio. I have 2 hours of commute on non school days and 2:45 on days I have class which is filled mostly by talk radio. In addition often times at work I throw on the web feed of espn radio. So I listen to it a lot. And right now I am so damn sick of the Vick talk radio. Everything is so played out, the callers are the same, their points are the same, nothing is different than it was a month ago. Can we please talk about something else.

Next time you hear someone on radio talk to Vick don't listen, I already know what the callers will be. Here's 10 callers you can expect to hear:

1. Puppy lover saying that Vick is disgraceful and how could you possibly do that to animals.

2. Guy from the south or Caribbean calling up and saying that Vick grew up with it and not to kill him cause he doesn't know better.

3. Guy calling up calling the radio host a racist saying that if Vick was a white athlete then they wouldn't be on him.

4. Guy calling up suggesting that we let rapers off the hook but we come down hard on Vick for dogfighting.

5. Guy calling up saying that the way we get veal or slaughter pigs or hunt is just as bad as fighting dogs.

6. Hunter calling up saying that the last caller was a moron and that he hunts to control the animal population and mentions the fact that their are deer run over all over highways cause there are too many of them.

7. Guy calling up saying that the hunter is liar and that he hunts cause he likes it and not to control the animal population.

8. Guy calling up saying that Vick is a liar as well and that he should have kept lying to give us the appearance that he was telling the truth.

9. Guy calling up saying that his friends are scumbags for throwing Vick under the bus.

10. Guy calling up saying that Vick is a prime example of how pro athletes hang out with too many thug friends and how it brings the athlete down.

There are more callers that you already have heard from, but the point remains. Lets get some other topics to talk about, this one is completely played out.

Posted by Simon at 12:53 PM 2 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

Lost Talent and Lost Life

By now you've probably read somewhere or seen the fact that former NBA player Eddie Griffin died after driving his SUV into an oncoming train. J.A. Adande writes a terrific column on why Eddie Griffin is now the posterboy of how entering the draft early can be incredibly costly and the wrong decision.

To me Eddie Griffin was one of my favorite players, as odd as that may sound to others. During the 00-01 season I absolutely fell in love with the Seton Hall team. They had three terrific freshman with Andre Barrett, Marcus Toney-El and Eddie himself. They had shot-blocking and uber athlete Samuel Dalembert. They got off to a terrific start and even sky rocketed to the #7 ranking in the country before collapsing in the Big East.

They were by far my favorite team that season and Eddie was the shining star. I knew there was a great chance he was going to leave the Hall after winning freshman of the year honors but I hoped that he would stay at the Hall and lead them to a Final Four, because well, their team was exciting to watch. But he came out and Dalembert followed and while I still rooted for Barrett and the leftovers at the Hall, their team just wasn't the same.

Then Eddie got drafted #7 and I thought the sky was the limit. He could score, he could board and he definitely could shot-block. And at times it looked like he had cleaned up his act and was going to capitalize on his abilities. But the problems kept creeping up and the potential was never reached.

Every time he sprung up in free agency I hoped the Celtics would snatch him simply because of his potential, but they never did and now they never will, and that is pretty sad to me.

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Scorpion Kick > Bicycle Kick



Now that move is just frigging unnecessary and awesome. It should be done at all times. Well unless you're fat and out of practice and try it again a decade later.



Courtesy of Who Ate All the Pies

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The Vick Highlight Reel

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Hey say what you want about how much of a scumbag you think Mike Vick is, or that he wasn't that good of a quarterback anyone, but he was damn exciting and I don't know about you I will miss the occasional ridiculous highlight.

As Ookie



As Ron Mexico



As Annoying Madden God

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Who Will Replace Vick in Madden?


Let me preface this by saying that I haven't set up my PS2 in my house since college and probably should have just ebayed it a while ago. But during my heyday in late high school and my college years I played a lot of Madden and NCAA Football. And while I have always been a short passes west coast offense type of player, nothing ticked me off more than the players that played with the Falcons.

The players that typically played with the Falcons did absolutely nothing but run with Vick. They didn't ever use runs, they instead would run pass plays, typically deep pass plays, scramble around with Vick and if nothing was open deep pick up a few rushing yards. It was incredibly annoying, and on those games where you were lucky enough to drill and injure Mike Vick these players were typically screwed. Without the scrambling they had pretty much no offense, it was all they did, run with the fastest QB in the game. Hell someone even made a compilation highlight video of how cheap he was.

Now who will these talentless hacks play as? Without Vick they've lost their bread and their butter. They have nothing, they will never play with Joey Harrington and will need to find substitutes. So who will be their next scrambling QB for these hacks?

5. Antwaan Randle El, the Adjustor: You've seen this before. A guy who just uses a scrambling quarterback doesn't pick the Falcons. He struggles for a a quarter or two with a normal pocket quarterback and decides to say what the hell, he played QB in college and I've seen him throw a touchdown pass before, so Randle El you're my QB. Typically this move doesn't work at all, so it's not gonna be a top choice.

4. Tony Romo, Underwood's Bitch: So what happens if you really really desire a scrambling white QB? There's no Steve Young anymore, Brunell is pretty much dead. You certainly aren't going to choose a Manning or the Golden Boy. Your options are pretty much limited to Alex Smith, Ben Three Day Old Cheeseburger, the Sex Cannon and Tony Homo. Out of those 4, it's probably between Smith and Homo, but because this person who uses the scrambling QB is most likely a douche he will choose the Cowboys.

3. Tarvaris Jackson, a Purer Mini-Vick: Jackson has limited hype thus far in his career and we have no idea if he can really be much of a passer. What we do know is that he is fast as friggin hell and that he can get out of the pocket and run around. He even wears #7 and in uniform he looks exactly like Vick except in purple instead of black. Jackson will be a good option in this years Madden, but something tells me his speed will be upgraded next year and then he will be a more viable option.

2. Donovan McNabb, The Superstar: McNabb is a stud and despite him blowing out his knee last season he probably will still have solid speed stats this season. Picking McNabb gives the hack the option to be a solely scrambling QB while giving the reasonable threat that they might actually pass the ball down the field.

1. Vince Young, the Coverboy: The most logical choice is Vince Young. He's fast, he's strong, and he can scramble all day long. His passing skills aren't currently the best in the world and most likely the playbook includes several QB draws and specific QB runs. In addition like Vick was for Madden 04, Vince is the coverboy this season meaning they jacked up his stats through the roof most likely.

So next time you face an unskilled Madden player the chances are you will be lining up against the Tennessee Titans.

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Tim Wakefield is an ND Hater


What does Tim Wakefield most likely have in common with you? Well he is completely against the letters ND and what they stand for. In fact he has made sure that he has done every single thing he could this season to disassociate himself with those letters.

Tim has started 25 games this season for the Boston Red Sox. And after yesterdays start he sits with 15 wins, which is a surprising number for 41 year old. Winning 3/5 of your games started is a good number for any pitcher. Wakefield also has 10 losses so he loses 2/5 of his games. And that leaves zero No Decisions. I can't imagine that a pitcher has gone through a season in recent years and started 30+ games and had absolutely zero No Decisions.

So is it a coincidence or is Tim Wakefield that much of a Notre Dame hater that if he doesn't feel like he's going to win the game he makes sure he picks up the loss just so that he won't associate himself with Touchdown Jesus or South Bend?

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Head Rockin & Brain Scramblin



I wonder if you can time how quickly between the fist landing on his chin to his unconsciousness. It has to be close to or under a single second.

Courtesy of the Fanhouse

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Theismann Likes Munching

Monday, August 20, 2007



Hahahaha. Mike Patrick apparently is not to aware for the youth of America's lingo. Might want to work on the knowledge base Mike.

Courtesy of Mr. Irrelevant

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Building the Prototype Power Hitter


Last season Chris Duncan was called up by the St. Louis Cardinals and showed a ton of power and has continued that into this season as he currently sits with 20 homers. What has been Chris' biggest problem during his 2 seasons with the Cardinals? He is absolutely hideous against left handed pitching. He's pretty much not worth playing and for the most part he rides the pine when they face lefties. Last season his average vs. lefties was .170 and this season he has raised it up to a better than mendoza line, but still piss poor mark of .222.

Meanwhile, his elder brother Shelley has been called up by the Yanks and has become a fan favorite. What has Shelley so far shown this season in limited amount of at bats? He absolutely mauls left handed pitching. To the tune of 3 homers in 17 at bats.

Here are their splits:
Shelley vs. Lefties: .421 OBP, .882 SLG, .353 AVE, 5.667 AB/HR
Chris vs. Righties: .380 OBP, .561 SLG, .285 AVE, 13.3 AB/HR

So now let's get into a lab and start merging these two brothers together. They could create the prototypical all star slugger, mashing against both left handed and right handed pitchers. They would definitely mash around 35 homers and neither can field a lick or run, furthering the power hitter prototype.

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Wrong Manchester Atop Premiership

Two weeks down in the Premiership season and yet again a team from Manchester sits atop the rankings. That team however is not the mighty Reds it is in fact the powder blue wearing boys from the Eastern half of Manchester. And to do so the boys from City defeated the boys from United 1-0 this weekend.

The funniest part is that Manchester City's manager is Sven-Goran Eriksson, the former English National manager who was pretty much crucified by the entire nation for being a horrible manager. Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson was amongst one of the more boisterous adversaries of Eriksson and well the Swede stuck it to the Scot this weekend.

So Manchester United possibly the most prestigious professional sports club in the entire world, even more so than the Yankees perhaps, sits a point above relegation after 3 games while their neighbors are basking as the only 100% 3 games 3 wins. To put this in perspective, last season they won the premiership and finished the entire season with 5 draws and 5 losses, after three games they've accumalted 40% of their draws and 20% of their losses. And they have 35 games to go, so in essence they would need to win 80% of their remaining games to accumulate the same amount of points as last season.

Meanwhile Chelsea had to enjoy this result as they came back from a deficit against Liverpool to draw, and sit 5 points ahead of the team they probably thought would be their biggest competition for the Premiership title.

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Diary of a Tortured Fantasy Owner

The Pain: The Dual No Decision

You wake up in the morning and check to see what pitchers are starting today and see where you may have an opportunity to pick up some wins and you look at the paper and see Scheduled Starter A vs. Scheduled Starter B, both of whom are on your team. Immediately the thought in your head is ok, well that kind of sucks but I have both starters so I should get a win out of it at least. Until the dreaded dual no decision, god damn.

This week I was boned twice, both of which came in games that CC Sabathia pitched well this week. Tuesday CC Sabathia squared off against Jeremy Bonderman, who has sucked dong for the past month of the season. So one would think that if Bonderman got rocked again well than at least I would get a win out of it but no he pitched well. Bonderman and Sabathia both gave up 2 runs through 7 and the game went into extra innings. No wins for me.

Then yesterday Sabathia squared off against James Shields, who hasn't been so hot lately either. And well yet again both pitchers gave up 2 damn runs, with Sabathia giving up a tying moon shot to Carlos Pena. So once again no god damn wins. Why can't one of my pitchers just get friggin rocked. I need wins, if you suck for months must you pitch well the one damn time you face my best pitcher. You ass-clowns. Sofa Urination for all of you.

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Ladies Love Little Mike



This was probably the best catch of the entire baseball season. If it's over the fence they lose if he catches it they win, nothing more pressure packed then that. Plus, he got one of the first sideline interviews from ESPN's new sideline eye candy. Good for you little Mike.

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Big Z Rolling in the Dough

Friday, August 17, 2007


Big Z now will have no problem buying anything. The Cubs signed Carlos Zambrano to a 91.5 million dollar contract. So much for an entertaining hugely talented pitcher on the free agent market that would have been solid offseason news. You can debate whether he was worth the money or not, but the market is so bloated right now that it would be difficult to say that the Cubs made a mistake here. This does has ramifications elsewhere as the Twins have to be shitting themselves. Note to Johan you can get over 20 per season if you want.

Oh and I really think this photoshopping stuff is a lot of fun.

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Fridays With Millsy

I’ve been given the go ahead to throw up a post on Fridays, which works out because Friday is my favorite day, except for maybe Arbor Day.

I was going to tell a little story about a drunken former boxer and his nightly 12 rounders with Natty Ice 40s, but I don’t really have the time today, and in the spirit of Simon’s rants, I’ll stick with something like that.

Recently I’ve been running quite a bit. It started as a means to lose some weight and get in shape, with the end goal being to get laid once in a while. I’ve actually taken a liking to running though, and am training to run a half marathon in September. I’ve even gone as far as reading discussion forums on running websites, which is where I got the idea for this post.

In one of the forums, a poster made a complaint about some clown not only calling him a “fag” and a “queer” as they passed each other, but the guy deliberately turning around to go back and continue with the insults. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen some pretty gaily dressed runners in my day, with the shorts with 2” inseams and whatnot, but a lot of serious runners prefer that style. You wouldn’t catch me dead in a pair of those babies, I just don’t have enough time to shave my legs, but that’s not the point.

The point is, I dare somebody to pull that shit with me. Keep calling 150 lb runners fags buddy, but one day you’re going to slip up and make the wrong comment to the wrong guy and I’ll be ready. In fact, I got a feeling your whole family is going down.

I should mention that the guy shouting insults was riding a scooter (Who’s the fag?), probably because he’s on probation for molesting children and isn’t allowed to drive his candy filled van anymore.

Posted by Papa Bear at 11:44 AM 3 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

Stop Hyping Up Notre Dame's Schedule

Every year you listen to someone on ESPN or elsewhere in the main stream media hyping up how difficult Notre Dame's schedule is this season. This season in particular I have heard people saying that it's so difficult they could lose their first 8 games. A) Stop making excuses already for how bad their record is going to be. B) They're schedule just isn't that out of the norm that you need to point it out every single time the words "difficult schedule" are uttered. For instance let's take a look at a team that won't get talked about at all, will probably be better this season and has just as hard of a schedule, if not worse. That team is the Oregon Ducks.

First lets just throw the games they have in common out. They both play USC at home, at Michigan, at UCLA and at Stanford. The USC and Michigan games will most likely be losses for both teams, the UCLA game will be a tossup for both and the Stanford game should be easy despite Jim Harbaugh hiring coaches he's never met.


Now let's get into the other comparisons we'll start with the easy games first and lead to the difficult ones.

Fresno St. vs. Duke - Fresno was terrible last year but for years prior they had good teams while Duke, well, they never have a good team. Advantage: Oregon

Washington vs. Navy - Navy seems to be getting better and winning some games each year, but in reality they couldn't compete with Washington every year despite Washington being coached by Ty. Advantage: Oregon

Wazzu vs. Air Force Air Force and Wazzu had down years last year, but again the whole service academy thing hurts Air Force and Wazzu did fight their way to 6-6 last year. Advantage: Oregon

Arizona vs. Michigan St. Michigan St. was horrible last year and they had a long time start. This season who knows the depths they will reach. Meanwhile Arizona played a lot of good games last season and Mike Stoops has the program on the Up and Up. Advantage: Oregon

Arizona St. vs. Purdon't Both teams sucked up on the weak last year, to the tune of 7 and 8 wins respectively. But Purdon't really did with five of their wins coming against 3 weak MAC schools and Indiana and Illinois. Both lost to Hawaii in shootouts. We'll give this one the push. Advantage: Push

Houston vs. Georgia Tech Houston went 10-3 last season and is bringing back senior qb Kevin Kolb so they should continue their solid play for a small conference team. Ga Tech meanwhile lost the best WR in the sport and their 4 year starting QB. I'll still give the edge to GaTech simply because of their defense and athleticism but this gap isn't very wide. Without Kolb Tech should have a considerable skill advantage over Houston. Advantage: Notre Dame

Oregon St. vs. BC Oregon St. had a terrific year last season going 10-4 and knocking off Missouri in their bowl game. Meanwhile BC also had a fantastic year, narrowly missing the ACC crown and going 10-3 including a not so impressive 1 point bowl win over Navy. Both games are serious rivalry games but I'll give the slightest of edge to ND on this one. Advantage: Notre Dame

Cal vs. Penn St. These are definately Notre Dame and Oregon's next biggest challenges after USC and Michigan. Personally I think Cal is the better team and Oregon will probably get dropped by them and Deshawn Jackson but I'll be lenient towards ND because they face Penn St. on the road here while Oregon faces Cal at home, so... Advantage: Push

So there you have it, while Notre Dame's schedule will be reported as a death march, no one will give word to the fact that Oregon, a team who's talent level is probably on par with Notre Dame this season, is playing a harder schedule. Their 4 "cupcakes" are much more difficult than Notre Dames Military Academy/Duke finish while Notre Dame's top other games are not much more difficult than Oregon's.

So next time a Notre Dame fan comes and tells you they have the most difficult schedule in college football you can point to the Oregon schedule and tell them to shove it and stop making excuses for all the losses they will have this season.

Posted by Simon at 11:27 AM 13 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!
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