Thursday, May 01, 2008
Everyday more and more fun news comes out about Roger "The Douchebag" Clemens and his apparent affair with every not overly attractive blond in the nation. The facts are not quite known about whether or not he as a 28 year old had an affair with 15 year old Mindy McReady or whether the affair started later, but it certainly looks bad. But while this news is making national headlines daily, one hall of fame athlete has to be thinking to myself, "Holy Crap, how am I not getting attention for this?". That athlete is the Mailman Karl Malone, whose seed apparently was delivered too many times in his youth.
See on Sunday during the NFL draft something was brought to the attention of the media, Karl Malone now has a bastard child in the NFL. With the 219th pick of the NFL draft the Buffalo Bills selected Demtrius Bell, the son whom Karl Malone ignored for 18 years of his life. Other than the typical I'm a pro athlete I spread my seed like no other and am a general scumbag at first glance there wasn't too much out of the ordinary or surprising about this story. But alas, I too brushed it off to quickly for better reporters than myself decided to dig and uncover even more potentially damning information.
See, Malone liked to spread his seed at a young age, allergic to condoms I suppose. He fathered WNBA 'star' Cheryl Ford and her twin when he was in high school and he fathered Bell when he was a sophomore at Louisiana Tech. Apparently, he was either chilling on street corners by a middle school or Demtrius's mother was enjoying college parties at a young age as apparently she was only 13 when impregnated.
I've never really had a hard time disliking Karl Malone in the past but damn this makes it way easier.