If you look at the Home Run leaderboard you'll see some glaring absences but none wider/larger than the absence of the name Prince. And why is that name missing? It's simple, the absence of a delicious cheeseburger is bring down the big man.

The man blasted 50 homers last year eating what I can imagine only raw cattle thrown over a fire. But this offseason he was tainted, tainted of course by a powerful vagina. One strong enough to turn a 5-11 270 pound man/beast into a sappy vegetable eating fool. And who loses? Brewer fans. Brewer fans have to watch a massive man/beast turn from a hunter powerful enough to rip a deer's head off to a lazy man picking berries in a field.

Prince has a wussy 6 homers thus far this season. Jose Reyes has 7. You could fit 7 Jose Reyes' in Prince. Nate McLouth has 12 dude weighs a buck eighty. Friggin Kevin Millar has 8 home runs. You know how Kevin Millar hits 8 home runs without having any skill at all. He eats fucking beef and chicken and raw deer and washes it down with the urine of elk. That's how. Kevin Millar has no talent he hits homers on straight elk piss.

So Prince, kick that bitch to the curb. Side with steak. It's the right decision.

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of AA , Mitchieville, With Leather, Hot Clicks, Fanhouse, With Leather *2, Deadspin, Deadspin *2


I Don't Understand why Yankee Fans like Sterling, he's incompetent and blind.


Use Crazy glue it worked for me and the IFC Trophy.


This never happened at my practices.


That's some prime stiff arm utilization.


Hmm that seems like a dumb idea.


Yes, baby Red Sox fans reject god and support satan.


Wow Avery has sunk a little bit the past week.


Umm, the original is better.

Everybody in New York keeps on searching for the reason why the New York Mets have not been the same team since midway through the 2007 season. Many blame Jose Reyes lack of production and say he is the driving force of the offense and without him they don't run. Many blame Willy for have an apparent lackadaisical attitude in the clubhouse. Some blame Omar Minaya for putting together an aging club that lacks leadership or a team with a significant cultural divide. I'm here to say they are all wrong, there's one difference between the Dominant Mets of 06 and the first half of 07 and the Struggling Mets since, one single organizational mistake. They released the ageless wonder Julio Franco.

On July 12th last season the Mets finally decided to designate Julio Franco for assignment, that night they went on to win and push their record to 49-39 and sat at the top of the standings. The remainder of the season the Mets only played four games over five hundred and of course collapsed down the stretch.

Record With Julio Franco (06-Jul 07): 146-104
Record Without Julio Franco (Jul 07-Now): 64-61

Another alarming fact is the dip in production of Jose Reyes since the departure of Julio Franco. On July 12th Jose Reyes was hitting .310 with an On Base % of 390 and looked like the potential MVP of the National League. Without Franco around Reyes played so poorly that at the end of the year his average dropped 30 points to .280 and his On Base Percentage dropped 36 points to .354. These numbers from your leadoff hitter and the spark plug of your team is not going to get it done and they have continued into this season.

06 Reyes Stats with Franco: .300 BA .354 OBP .487 SLG .841 OPS
07 Reyes Stats with Franco: .310 BA .390 OBP .452 SLG .842 OPS
07 Reyes Stats w/o Franco: .251 BA .316 OBP .402 SLG .718 OPS
08 Reyes Stats w/o Franco: .279 BA .338 OBP .486 SLG .823 OPS

It's evident that despite no longer being good at baseball Julio Franco had a significant positive impact on the New York Mets or... when he left the New York Mets he used the same voodoo magic he used to keep him in major league baseball for 97 years to curse the Mets. To make young Jose Reyes struggle. To make the Mets collapse. It's the Voodoo Curse of Julio Franco which has brought the Mets down.

Catalog of All SimonOnSports Trivia

They are the Spurs they have been good and very annoying for a long time. Each of their players has certainly gotten on your nerve at some time or another and chances are if given the chance you would want to kick at least one of the in the groin. But which of them is the absolute worst. 1. Manu Ginobili - He's a foreigner so maybe its just natural for him to flop whenever he possibly can but it doesn't make it any less annoying. Additionally, he despite being an NBA player apparently needs to be baby as all you ever hear about is how the Spurs have to hold off on Manu's minutes so he won't get worn down for the playoffs. Additionally, he seems to always be the one who hits the big shots. 2. Tim Duncan - He's one of the best players of all time, he's the reason that the Spurs have 4 NBA titles and he plays the game well fundamentally so what is there not to like. How about the fact that he never shows any kind of personality to anyone in the publics eyes is one of the most boring superstars of all time. Or how about how all he does every single game is whine about any single foul call that does not go his way. 3. Tony Parker - What really is there to like about Tony Parker? He's french which immediately puts him in the negative plus he's married to a tv star so he's always on tv even non sports channels. Additionally, he likes to act like a drama queen on the court every possible moment he can. 4. Bruce Bowen - Is Bowen the worst of the bunch? He just might be. He whines just like the rest of them, but he is by far the dirtiest player of the bunch. He has built a reputation as a solid defensive player by consistently getting away with fouls and with jabbing his opponents. Additionally, he likes to step on better players like Chris Paul or get away with obvious flagrant fouls. Finally, he typically hits big 3s despite not being a good shooter.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

You're going around your local golf course and after downing the tenth beer in your 18th hole journey you have to take a piss. There's no bathroom in site, oh no what do you do. You head to the closest tree or just off the t-box turn your body away from the crowd and let it fly. Or... You could piss in a fake club in your bag.

That's right the Uroclub now can solve all of your uncomfort issues. Just strap a towel around your waste pull the Uroclub out of your bag, unscrew the top and start pissing in your most useful new club. Then you can dispense of the urine in whatever way you see fit later in the day. It could be in the bathroom, in the woods or simply poured into Grutt's half empty can of beer.

Seriously this has got to be the dumbest invention of all time. If you are uncomfortable pissing on a golf course you should hand in your man card. Plus who the hell wants to have a urine soaked club in their golf bag ever or who wants to wash out your urine soaked club on a daily basis. Seriously the only solid reason for having this club is for sneaky urinary pranks that you could pull based on the fact that nobody would ever suspect a club in your bag holding a bunch of your piss.

Via of Sports by Brooks

I do not follow the prototypical American choice of favorite athletes. I grew up with random athletes being my favorites and tennis was just one example. Growing up I never really got into Pete Sampras and his boring demeanor or Andre Agassi and his flamboyant style. It was always the odd foreigners that caught my attention from Goran Ivanisevic to Gustavo Kuerten. This weekend marked the last professional tennis match of the latter whom when in his prime was unstoppable on the clay courts in Paris. He was exciting showed constant joy on the court and won with charisma and class. He was my favorite player to watch and much like Chris Webber was saddled with injuries which both limited his potential and cut his career sort.

Kuerten has been mostly irrelevant on the tour since 2002 when he first started his series of injuries but there will always be those three French Open Titles in 97, 00, and 01. As well, as the last flash of Paris brilliance when he dominated Roger Federer in straight sets in 04 marking Roger's lone Grand Slam loss of the year.

Here's to you Guga for a successful but mostly fun career.

Catalog of All SimonOnSports Trivia

This is what Sidney Crosby Wishes His Beard Looked Like...

This is what Sidney Crosby's Beard Really Looks Like...

20 Year Olds should not attempt to grow a playoff beard if it's going to end up being a dirty sanchez stache and a patchy neck beard. Be damned with tradition Sidney, you look like a fool.

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of Foul Balls, The Big Lead, Fanhouse, The Offside, Puck Daddy, MHTC, World of Isaac, people, The Sporting Blog


Umm... So Who Wins?


Look at the scoreboard dumb asses we're up 5 nothin.


This guy has a lot of time on his hands.


Who knew Germans could make AIDs funny?


God Japanese people are insane.


Man get your poison working you loser.


Yay another manager that loves words that start with F.


I would have applauded the umpire for punching Giambi out.


Ahmad should have played better D.

The Yankees have made it official they are transitioning Joba Chamberlain into the rotation for the latter portion of the season. So the question is, how the hell do you the Yankees plan on stretching him out and getting him ready for his first start? And who the hell pitches the 8th inning?

And you know what the biggest problem is, the 8th inning issue starts now. If the Yankees are going to stretch him out they need to utilize a plan. He must pitch a certain amount of innings every 5 days. This means that there will be no more Joba in the 8th inning alone. That would back track his progression towards the rotation. Essentially he could come into the game in the 7th or 6th or 5th and pitch in the 8th, but he won't be coming out of bullpen rushing the field in the 8th anymore.

Onto the next question, how the hell do you stretch out a pitcher in the bullpen. Say its Joba's day to pitch 3 innings, the plan says he has to go into the game. Well what if the Yankees are down 10-0, wouldn't that be a complete waste? Would they still bring him in? What if Ian Kennedy is throwing a no hitter through 5 innings. Are you taking him out? What if Kennedy simply has a shutout through 6 innings, and you still take him out. Are you going to have Joba pitch the 7th, 8th and 9th and leave Mariano rotting in the pen? It doesn't make logical sense for improving your team.

Basically the only way I can see the Yankees stretching him out is either A) Send him to the minors (this is a miserable idea) or B) Just start him and have him pitch the alloted innings than after his allotted innings just bring in the corresponding long reliever. Will it put your team in some odd spots? Sure. If Kennedy or Igawa or whatever long reliever was any good they would be in the rotation. But at the very least this guarantees that every inning that Chamberlain pitches is a relevant one. The game will always start at 0-0, this never changes. Additionally, we know that this would allow the Yankees to create whatever schedule they want to stretch him out and without ever contemplating whether or not to bring him in. Finally this makes sure all of his innings are pitched in the majors and not wasted in the minors.

But hey, what the hell do I know. Let's let genius baseball mind Hank Steinbrenner make all of the decisions.

Full Pictures of Answers
Catalog of All SimonOnSports Trivia

In Major League Baseball there are currently 55 starting pitchers who have started at least 10 games. 53 of whom have started 10 and 2 (Lester & Blanton) have started 11. Amongst these 55 starters there is one single pitcher who has yet to suffer a loss. It isn't Brandon Webb who was 9-0 but lost his last game to fall to 9-1. It isn't Edinson Volquez with his 1.33 ERA. It isn't the unbelievable Cliff Lee who has lost a singular game. It isn't 7-0 Dice-K Matzusazaka who despite pitching a week before everybody in Japan has only started 9 games.

No, the only undefeated started with double digits starts is.....

In every fantasy draft there are people that highly outperform their expectations and those that highly underperform their expectations. The worst case of under performing occurs when you waste a high draft pick on the player. Here is a list of 11 busts with the ESPN Average Draft Position (ADP) Top 100, meaning that chances are you used one of your first 10 picks on one of these guys if you have them rotting the bench.

Hitter (ADP) - AVG, R, HR, RBI, SB
Pitcher (ADP) - W-L SV K ERA WHIP

Prince Fielder (15) - .259 20 6 24 0

Him going vegan helped me steer away from the 250 pound beast. But obviously given his position as the 15th highest player drafted it didn't scare off enough. You knew he wasn't going to provide speed and you couldn't bank on a high average but its the mediocre power numbers that are killing all of his fantasy owners.

Mark Teixeira (23) - .264 25 5 23 0

Typically a slow starter I don't know if fantasy owners have too much to worry about with Teixeira. But I guess when you draft someone within the first three rounds you would hope not to have 2 months with less production than Mike Jacobs.

Victor Martinez (32) - .306 9 0 15 0

If you look at just average than Victor Martinez wouldn't seem like a bust. .306 is a nice number for any player. But look at the surrounding stats. 9 Runs, 15 RBI, and zero count it zero homers. He's supposed to be far and away the best catcher in baseball. Yadier Molina has better overall numbers than Victor Martinez and he might have gone undrafted in many leagues.

CC Sabathia (33) - 3-6 0 65 5.14 1.48

He's beginning to turn his season around after a brutal start, but a 1.48 WHIP? That is miserable, plus only the 3 wins despite pitching well over his last handful of starts makes you worry about whether or not he's going to hit 15 that you thought was automatic at the start of the year.

Eric Byrnes (35) - .218 24 4 17 4

If you drafted Eric Byrnes as the 35th player I would have thought you were smoking something funny. But apparently people valued him this high and what they are getting is mediocre overall numbers with a pitiful average. To me its not that surprising.

Troy Tulowitzki (42) - .152 10 1 11 1

Arguably the biggest killer to fantasy teams this year. Tulowitzki was supposed to be a breakout candidate after his terrific end to the season. Instead he gave his teams zero production and a 6 week trip to the DL. At least if you had him and picked up Clint Barmes you're getting production.

Travis Hafner (43) - .221 17 4 20 1

Travis Hafner does have one more steal than you could expect. But that is the only thing good you can say about him.

Robinson Cano (51) - .200 12 4 12 1

He rose his average to .200 finally. That's a good thing. Cano has less RBI than Asdrubal Cabrera who has no power whatsoever and is hitting .175. That's how bad Cano has been this season.

Justin Verlander (56) - 2-7 0 40 5.61 1.41

He finally picked up a win in his last start but everything about Verlander has been much worse than expected. He has 7 losses a miserable WHIP and ERA and he only has 40 Ks in two months.

Roy Oswalt (63) - 4-4 0 49 5.43 1.43

Oswalt is similar to Verlander with slightly better numbers but with much more injury risk.

Gary Sheffield (88) - .180 12 2 8 3

It's late May, Josh Hamilton has over 50 RBI, Gary Sheffield doesn't even have double digits. How pathetic is that?

Brad Hawpe (97) - .231 16 3 17 0

Hawpe is also typically better in the second half of the season, so I would actually go out and try to convince his owners to part way with a player who has been so terrible the opening two months.

Numbers as of Wednesday Afternoon

How much do you have to pay for garbage on MLB.com from players no longer with that team? Test you're ability to name that price.

A Journey into the Mind of Mike D'Antoni

...And that means the Chicago Bulls will have the #1 pick in the 2008 NBA Draft.

"Aww fuck are you god damn kidding me? The Bulls got the god damn #1 pick? That's not fair, why the hell didn't they tell me the NBA was rigging the lottery for them? I gotta deal with Stephon Marbury and trying to get fat ass Eddy Curry in shape and the fucking Bulls have the #1 pick in the god damn draft? Why? Why does the god damn NBA hate me?

Ok ok Mike calm down. It's ok, Beasley and Rose aren't that good. We're just in it for getting under the cap and luring Lebron to New York anyway, who cares about the #1 pick. Fuck who am I kidding this shit blows.

Ok ok, mental imagery time. Think about your first check. 6 million 6 million 6 million 6 million dollars each year. Ok ok, I think I'm better.

Man I want to kick that Bulls guy in the fucking groin.

I need something to drink."

End of the Journey into the Mind of Mike D'Antoni

Nintendo recently released the Wii Fit, which of course is designed to give you a way to have an at home workout and a general fun experience. Along the way to making yourself fit it tracks many things including your progress, what you've accomplished and your Body Mass Index. Telling someone their Body Mass Index isn't always a good idea, especially when you tell a 10 year old that she is obese. Typically, 10 year olds who are a bit hefty have to deal with classroom ridicule, automating that ridicule is something they just don't need.

The funny part about all of this is how irrelevant and how dated BMI measurements are. I personally am 5 foot 8 (stupid mother gave me the short gene) and somewhere between 165 and 170 pounds. I go to the gym 4 or 5 times a week, play softball / bball / flag football something year round. I consider myself to be in good shape. Other than my alcohol intake and the occasional shitty dining on the weekend I eat healthy as well. Yet when you plug in my BMI, I am considered overweight.

So lets take a look at some athletes to see how they stack up and just how poorly their bodies are.

Lisa Leslie: 6'5, 170: 20.2 Normal
Tayshaun Prince: 6'9, 215: 23.0 Normal
Diana Taurasi: 6'0, 172: 23.3 Normal
Roger Federer: 6'1 177: 23.3 Normal
Tiger Woods: 6'1, 185: 24.4 Normal (I have a difficult time believing either of Tiger or Federer's listed weight)
Michael Jordan: 6'6 216: 25.0 Overweight
Kevin Garnett: 6'11, 253: 25.8 Overweight
Lebron James: 6'8, 240: 26.4 Overweight
Tom Brady: 6'4 225: 27.4 Overweight
David Eckstein: 5'7 177: 27.7 Overweight (That 177 might be a lie)
David Ortiz: 6'4, 230: 28.0 Overweight (That 230 might be a lie)
Alex Rodriguez: 6'3 225: 28.1 Overweight
John Daly: 5'11 220: 30.7 Obese (220 in his dreams)
Shaq: 7'1 325: 31.6 Obese
Glenn Dorsey: 6'3 303: 38.9 Obese

Ok, maybe John Daly is obese, but Lebron, Jordan, KG and Arod are all overweight? That's a pretty laughable measurement system right there.

This kick got Fiorentina a spot in the 08/09 Champions League ahead of perennial power AC Milan as it lifted them from a 5th place to a 4th place finish in Serie A.

For a clearer view of the kick watch minute 2 of the following video.


Courtesy of the Offside

Here's a little known fact that you may not be aware of, Babe Ruth technically combined to throw a no hitter in 1917 against Boston. And I use the word technically very liberally.

The rest include a pair of no-hitters each by Cy Young and Leonard, but none is as legendary as the no-hitter tossed by Ernie Shore in 1917. Shore, who shared the rotation and was traded to the Yankees with Babe Ruth, cleaned up for Ruth on one summer day in 1917.

Ruth was tossed from a game against the Washington Senators after walking the leadoff hitter, Ray Morgan, and punching the umpire, Brick Owens, squarely in the jaw. In came Shore from the bullpen, and out went Morgan on Shore's second pitch. He was caught stealing.

Shore retired the next 26 batters in order, an accomplishment that was called a perfect game until the 1991 rule changes deemed it a "combined no-hitter."

"In a perfect game," the rules state, "no batter reaches any base during the course of the game" -- a stipulation that counted Morgan's appearance on first, and Ruth's appearance on the mound, against Shore's effort. MLB.com

After a single batter Babe Ruth was so pissed off at the umpire that he popped him square in the jaw. That is completely awesome. Why does this not ever happen in our society today? Have we lost all ability for humorous overblown temper tantrums?

Over the past week or so some of you may have noticed that I've been including lots of quizes on the site. I like testing my knowledge on sports so I in turn liked making the quizes. So I've made a bunch over the past week and have them typically posted at 11:11. Well, good ole technology has seemingly kicked me in the groin and wasted hours of my time as now it appears as if the site has blew up all of the questions of all of my quizes. Massive Kick in the Nuts...

Let us peel the names from a given lineup for which winning is expected.

1. .250 Batting Average with a .333 On Base %, 5 SBs & 2 CS

2. .280 Batting Average with 2 SB & 3 CS and 18 Runs in 43 games

3. 2 Home Runs & 21 RBI in 38 games

4. .304 with 20 RBI in 41 games

5. .191 with a .357 OBP over 36 games

6. .204 with a .256 OBP and 12 RBI & 12 Runs in 43 games

7. .255 with a .317 OBP and 6 Home Runs in 42 games

8. .237 with 1 RBI and 4 Runs scored in 17 games

9. .207 with 3 RBI and 7 Runs in 27 games

That of course is the current Yankees lineup, the current Yankees A lineup with no substitutes in other than a possible flip flop at 3B of Betemit (.267) or Ensberg (.214) rather than Alberto Gonzalez (.237). You just aren't going to win many baseball games when you put together a lineup with no power, limited speed, and a lineup hole 5 spots long. And that isn't even including Damon who's hitting .250. Thus after you get passed the Abreu, Jeter & Matsui trio the rest of the lineup is itting .255 or below. That isn't going to get it done.

Catalog of SimonOnSports Trivia

Because me being right so rarely seems to happen recently, I would like to harp on correct analysis from a couple of months ago. After the Cavs made their big 4 person trade I said that everybody was completely overrating Ben Wallace and that if anything the only improvements the Cavs got in that trade were Joe Smith and Delonte West. I said that Ben Wallace was not a very good basketball player and would do little to improve the Cavs, and I was completely right.

In 7 games against the Celtics Ben Wallace never cracked double digits in anything. In 7 games he only had two 9 rebound games and only totaled 41 rebounds in the 7 games. He additionally never scored 10 or more points in a game. He scored 9 once and only scored 22 points the entire series. In game 7 he scored 3 points and grabbed 4 rebounds in nearly 30 minutes on the court. These are pitiful numbers. Does anybody honestly think Drew Gooden would have done worse? In the 2007 Finals in which the Cavs were swept Gooden had double digit points in all 4 games and double digit rebounds in 2 of the 4 games. He's a better basketball player than Ben Wallace.

The next highly spoke of player in the deal was Wally Szczerbiak, he scored in double figures in 5 of the 7 games and played some solid defense against Ray Allen. But what did he do in the most crucial game of the season? He laid a massive goose egg. Zero points, nada, nothing. 0-3 with 1 rebound and 2 turnovers. He played tremendous.

And the next player Joe Smith? He didn't do much in the series either. He had one game of double figures, game 3 when he scored 17 points in a Cavs blowout. He never grabbed more than a six rebounds in a game and never had more than a single assist in a game. In game 7 Smith had 6 points and 6 rebounds, not exactly game altering numbers.

The only player who had real impact on this series from the trade was the biggest after thought in the media Delonte West. West put together two 20+ point games and played over 40 minutes in each of the last three games. In the final game he had 15 points and 5 assists, both numbers were better than all the combined totals of Smith, Wally and Ben.

The biggest problem with this trade is that is was really a win now trade. Ben Wallace is not going to get any better. He will never be good on offense and his defense and rebounding are on the decline and he's signed for two more years at 14+ million dollars per. Wally only has the 08-09 season on the books but that is for 13 million dollars. Thus, the Cavs have absolutely no flexibility once again when it comes to roster maneuverability, meaning for two more seasons the Cavs roster will be the piano on Lebron's back weighing him down.

If the world determined social class strictly on common sense than the International Association of Athletics Federations(IAAF) has taken a leap from the homeless to a lower income household in the past few days. See at one point in time they decided that somehow someway it was a benefit for a runner to be without legs. They deemed that the U shaped Carbon Fiber blades worn by amputee runners were more efficient than actual legs and thus they ruled any amputee wanting to compete against full bodied individuals with these legs as ineligible. Apparently, they wanted them to run with a wooden peg, or stitch on an actual human leg in order to compete.

Well, the IAAF based on the case of Oscar Pistorius, a double amputee runner from South Africa decided to take a new vote on whether or not they should allow him to qualify and compete in the Beijing Olympics. And shockingly enough the people on this committee showed some common sense and will allow a man who has obvious gone through a lot without the use of legs to live his dream, if he can make the team.

So, just to wrap up I am glad the IAAF has been intelligent enough to rule that it actually isn't a benefit to be without legs, even if these obvious conclusion took them years to come to.

Courtesy of the Fanhouse

Everyone needs something to keep them occupied on Friday afternoons so the Friday Video Blowout was born. Spend your next few minutes, laughing, crying of laughter, pissing your self, whatever, but mostly wasting your companies time.

Videos In Order Courtesy of Tmags, Hot Clicks, Out In Center Field, The Offside, With Leather, Walk Off Walk, 101 Great Goals, Big League Stew, Playing For Peanuts, Grand National Champs


Fake Scalabrine raps are lame.


Whatever, I know I'm a dork.


Hopefully Okajima blows his entire salary at the craps table.


He was never good at that think fast game.


http://view.break.com/501813 - Watch more free videos
Good Night Scrotum.


Hey Jason you have a song so start hitting the god damn ball for my fantasy team.


Soccer Matches are Safe & Fun for the Family.


I guess it comes as no surprise that Millar led this garbage.


I would have expected Backman to drop the F bomb atleast 5 more times.


And this is why Youtube isn't always a good thing.

Catalog of All SimonOnSports Trivia

It's for these stories to die it's time for me to not turn on my television or radio station and listen to people chronicling every minute detail of Homo & Simpson's relationship or of Matt Walsh and spygate. These stories are no longer in need of 24/7 coverage, they're in need of fading into the background only to be brought up in the case of some ridiculous new revelation.

For instance these stories would be acceptable news for the Homo & Simpson relationship. Certainly not a potential breakup, they've done that about 7 times already, rather it would be acceptable news and entertaining news if there was a Homo interview in which he disclosed that Jessica Simpson only allows anal sex because she doesn't want to loosen her other parts. Now that would be newsworthy, that would be entertaining. Not, hey look at Tony and Jessica on a date. Wow they're in public and not living in a Bubble, who gives a crap.

These stories would be acceptable for Spygate. Bill Belichick caught setting up voyeur cameras in the Road Locker room which he uses to give insult jokes for players on his staff. For instance, a potential conversation he could have with Richard Seymour.

"Hey Richard, I checked out the Jets locker room tape and not only does D'Brickashaw Ferguson have an incredibly small penis for a 6 foot 4 African American, but it looked like he intentionally dropped the soap in the shower multiple times looking for his fellow lineman to take advantage of him prison scene style. He almost looked disappointed and depressed when he left the shower."

Now breaking that story would be entertaining and newsworthy. Not rehashing over and over again that the Patriots taped teams signals. No kidding, we've known this for almost a full year.

So please media, can we just let these stories die until we actually get something that is at the very least relatively interesting.

Catalog of All SimonOnSports Trivia

Your fantasy teams pitching bringing you down? Are you ranked last in ERA and second to last in wins with a miserable K rate. Do you have CC Fatassia letting you down or Brett Myers getting rocked every other start? Did you draft Rich Hill for his 180+ Ks and High 3 ERA only to see him get sent to the minors after a start that last 2/3 of an inning? Did you pick up Andrew Miller only to drop him before he started pitching like a top Prospect?

Did you draft an injured all star to come save the day? Will John Lackey be your fantasy Angel? He certainly better be mine.