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Dear Mr. Minaya and Mr. Wilpon

Dear Mr. Minaya and Mr. Wilpon,

Regretfully this letter is to inform you that I, Mr. Met will no longer be attending any Met game for the remainder of the season. Mrs. Met has informed me how poor our current medical insurance is and after watching every single valuable player on the Mets go down due to injury we have concluded that it would be wise if I was to stay away for the rest of the year.

I'm sorry to inform you of this on such short notice, but it is what it is. I feel like I'm watching Final Destination 38: Attack at Citi Field, and I'm jumping ship before some beam at the stadium turns my head into mashed baseballs.

See You Next Year,
MR. MET
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