Breakin It Down: Super Bowl Sunday

Friday, January 30, 2009

Breakin it Down is usually 5 key stories plus a pick for each postseason game. But for the Super Bowl we'll do 5 keys for the Cardinals and Steelers and a post for what I think will occur.

Pre Game Activity of Choice

Drinking and Eating on repeat.

Beer of Choice

Typically Cold Beer is the beer of choice. However, after delicously taste testing free beer at the Harpoon Brewery in Boston, I think I will start the evening by cracking open a Leviathon Imperial IPA which weighs in at 10% Alcohol by Volume which equals delicousness.

Snack of Choice

So many snacks to choose from on Super Bowl sunday but I'm going with the pre-made frozen pop 'em in the oven delicousness of Bagel Bites. I don't think you can ever really go wrong with these things.

Half Time Activities

Not listening to the Boss. Doing anything but listening to the Boss. Hopefully, doing something involving beverages delicious golden beverages.

The Rooting Interests

Right now I really could care less who wins the Super Bowl. I'd imagine I will decide depending on the mood to either A) Root with the majority cause everyone is rooting for the same team or B) Root against the majority just to annoy people / bring balance to the room. This decision will be made after a beverages have been delivered down the throat, and could be directly correlated to my performance in any pre-game competitions.

The Pick

In case you haven't seen the incredibly boring pattern in my playoff picks, I've gone favorite after favorite after favorite. So in a not so shocking pick, I'm going with the Steelers.

Why? Defense and my inability to convince myself that the Cardinals are actually good. Sure they they just won three games, but everything slid just right for them. They got two undeserved home games. The weather in Carolina was perfect. Jake Delhomme decided he wanted to go Crawfishin the following day in the Bayou. The Iggles decided Fitz didn't need to be covered tightly.

Is Three Day Cheeseburger more likely to throw the game down the toilet than Kurt Warner? I definitely think so. Are the Cardinals more likely to explode than the Steelers? Probably. Is it likely that the Steelers can actually cover the Cardinals wideouts? Probably not. Does Wisenhunt have an advantage running the offense having worked against the Steeler defense for years? Probably.

But all of that doesn't matter. I can't convince that a team the Jets mauled can win the Super Bowl. So...

Pittsburgh 27 Arizona 20

Posted by Simon at 3:33 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

I Hope He's Either Seriously Hurt or Badly Hung Over....

Bullpen catcher Mike Borzello, giving his assessment of the first throwing session for Kei Igawa, the Japanese import the Yankees brought in for $46 million to compete with the Sox' signing of Dice-K Matsuzaka: "I hope he's either seriously hurt or badly hung over, so there's an explanation for throwing like that." [The Yankee Years by Joe Torre]

You have to be pretty bad for the Bullpen catcher to know you're terrible when he first catches you.

Posted by Simon at 2:56 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

Super Bowl Propoliciousness

The Super Bowl is full of wonderfully meaningless prop bets. So let's lay the imaginary dollars out on the table and pick them.

How many types of food will the rotund NBC analyst (John Madden) mention during the game? Under 1.5 times, just don't think food will be on the big guys mind.

What Color of Gatorade will be dumped on the coach? Yellow, lemon/lime is delicious

Will Jennifer Hudson take longer than 2 minutes to sing the national Anthem? Yes, it will be painful

Which song will the Boss open his halftime show with? Born to Run I guess, who cares.

Will the game's first TD result in a spike, back flip or muscle flex? Spike its simple

Which Player Will Score? Spikey Haired Reed

Will There Be a Safety? No, what a dumb bet

Who Wins the Coin Toss? The Cardinals Obviously

Will Anheuser-Busch (nyse: BUD - news - people ) show more ads for Bud or Bud Light? Going for the Bud Light Underdog

Which Super Bowl commercial will have a higher rating on USA Today's annual Ad Meter? Bud will come in victorious

What Super Bowl will average more viewers? More people will watch this game than the last Steelers Super Bowl

Steelers vs. LeBron Who will score more? Lebron Obviously Dominates.

Which QB Will John Madden mention by Full name first after the Opening Kickoff? Matt Leinart, going with the under dog.

Will Matt Millen pick the correct team to win Super Bowl XLIII during the Pre Game Show? Hell No

Who will the Super Bowl MVP of the Game thank first? Jesus

Who will be tackled by his hair first in the game? Fitzy

What will happen with the Stock Market the day after Super Bowl XLIV? Pittsburgh Wins, Market Down

Posted by Simon at 2:22 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

Big Al Snubbed

BOOOOO BOOOOO BOOOOO. What 22 and 10 isn't good enough? Big Al is one of only three players in the NBA to currently hold those lofty numbers. So what if his team sucks. They're improving, ha.

Instead of Al Jefferson we get the same old cast of characters. Shaq, who has played significantly less games and minutes than Big Al and is averaging 18 and 9. David West, who gets the benefit of playing with Chris Paul on a daily basis and not Randy Foye is averaging 20 and 7. Pau Gasol who is on one of the best teams in the NBA, probably because of Kobe, is averaging 17 and 9.

Snooze Snooze Snooze. Give me Big Al.

Posted by Simon at 1:55 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

The History of the Super Bowl and Going For it On 4th Down

Thanks to the glorious production at Pro Football Reference, you can now search through every Super Bowl play ever (somebody was obviously bored). Anyway I put together a little spreadsheet of all the 4th downs attempted in the history of the Super Bowl. Why? Boredom and curiousity. The second tab has a little sum up.

Posted by Simon at 12:12 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

PhotoHunt: Nadal's Imaginary Dump

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure out where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.


Posted by Simon at 11:11 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

Roddick Should Just Throw Up the White Flag

Once Roddick sees Federer line up on the opposite side of the court, the result is painfully obvious. The two have played 18 total times in their careers and only twice has Roddick come away with a victory (once last year during Federer's ugly start). The two have met 7 times in Grand Slams now, and only two of those 7 times has Roddick even managed to take a set from the master.

Coming into the Thursday night semi-final match, Roddick arguably might have been in the best shape of his life. He may have been playing the best tennis of his life as well, having breezed to the semifinals which included a beat down of Novak in the quarters. But all that great play and great conditioning are futile as soon as a rally starts against Federer. Federer out classes Roddick and out smarts him on almost every rally. He darts to the net to put away points, where as Roddick often tentatively charges unable to commit to his shots due to fear. Roddick's serve which puzzles and dominates the remainder of the ATP, seemingly resembles a fastball down the pipe to Federer.

Thursday night it was obvious just how much Federer is in Roddick's head. In the first set, the first damn set, Roddick was already flustered and down. He lashed out against the umpire over something that truly didn't matter considering he was down two break points in the set. Instead of maintaing focus, and concentrating on holding his serve throughout the 2nd set, and beyond, he was wasting energy yelling at the ref.

Sometimes battles are won before they even start, and in the case of Federer vs. Roddick they are won when the draw is laid out. It certainly sucks for Roddick and American Tennis, but I think he'll survive. Probably cause he gets to come home to this...

Posted by Simon at 9:49 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

ESPN Salary Crunch, Helping You Feel Even Shittier About Your Day Job


In an effort to make it easier to calculate just how poorly you get paid in comparison to Major League Baseball Players, ESPN has developed Salary Crunch. Salary Crunch gives you the ability to establish just how much work some of your favorite MLB players have to do in order to make your salary. So say you make 62,000 dollars a year (aka me-ish), Krod makes that for every out he records. Weeeee, see how good that makes you feel about yourself. He can throw one pitch and make my entire yearly salary.

Ok Let's have fun with a generic salary, say 400K because I bet important people make 400K in a year.



Only 70 years as an important person and you too can make Arod's yearly salary. Well that's simple enough.

Posted by Simon at 8:33 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Tom Brady

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 7:55 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Brian Scalabrine

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 7:29 PM 1 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Farny

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 6:55 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Arod

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 6:29 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Youk

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 5:55 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Stephen A Smith

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 5:29 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Lloyd Carr

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

26 Birthday Wishes: Dick Vitale

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 4:29 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Puppet Mourinho

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 3:55 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Serena Williams

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 3:29 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Jim Tressel

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 2:55 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Jelena Dokic

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 2:29 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Sam Cassell

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 1:55 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Kurt Warner

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 1:29 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Nicaraguan Pat Fans

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 12:55 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: JJ Redick

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 12:29 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Kevin Millar

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 11:55 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: The Gunslinger

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 11:29 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

PhotoHunt: My Bestist Birthday Cake Ever

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure out where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.

Posted by Simon at 11:11 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Andy Roddick

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 10:55 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Bill Belicheat

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 10:29 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Justin 'No Hands' McCareins

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 9:55 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Tim Tebow

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 9:29 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Derrick Rose

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 8:44 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Carl Pavano

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 8:29 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Gary Bettman

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 7:55 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

26 Birthday Wishes: Rich Rod

Today I turn 26, which by my calculations puts me at slightly above 1/6th of my projected lifespan thanks to my wealth and modern technology. Anyway, I got some wonderful birthday wishes from some of my favorite people.

Posted by Simon at 7:29 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

ESPN's Useless Bottom Line Stat of the Night

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

"UConn is 16-1 when Thabeet has a double double."

UConn is 18-1 this season. So UConn is undefeated when Thabeet does not get a double double? Is that the point you were trying to make?

Oh and Thabeet only has 8 double doubles, I'm confused.

Posted by Simon at 9:22 PM 2 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

Breakin It Down: Pittsburgh Steelers

Breakin it Down is usually 5 key stories plus a pick for each postseason game. But for the Super Bowl we'll do 5 keys for the Cardinals and Steelers and a post for what I think will occur.

Mistake Free Cheeseburger

Three games in a row with no turnovers for the Three Day Old Cheeseburger? It sounds impossible, but if it is accomplished the Steelers will walk home with the Vince Lombardi trophy.

Limit the Wideout Damage

You aren't going to stop Fit, Boldin and Breaston but you have to do something to frustrate and limit them. Essentially they need to pick and choose wisely who and when to double. Any of the wideouts at any time can break away for a massive play and it is imperative for the Steelers to limit that. I'd suggest breaking Boldin's face, that worked for the Jets, but I'm not sure how possible that is.

Pound the Rock

The Cardinals have shockingly shut down their opponents run game in three straight games, where the hell did that come from? Willy Parker didn't do much against the Ravens, who does, but he did dominate against the Chargers. There's a solid chance that if the Steelers win that he ends up with the MVP award.

Smack Warner in the Face

Hit him and hit him repeatedly, that's what the Steelers objective this sunday will be. If they can't get to Warner than they're secondary is going to get abused.

When Does Troy Make the Difference?

Whether its a key 4th down, or a fluttering Warner pass over the middle of the field, Troy is going to have his opportunity to make a lasting impression on this Super Bowl. He's the biggest game breaker on defense in this game and if he makes a huge play similar to the AFC Championship game than the Steelers might get to bring home the 'One of the Other Thumb'.

Posted by Simon at 2:02 PM 1 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

Breakin It Down: Arizona Cardinals

Breakin it Down is usually 5 key stories plus a pick for each postseason game. But for the Super Bowl we'll do 5 keys for the Cardinals and Steelers and a post for what I think will occur.

Protect the Warner

The Warner has yet to turn into the turnover machine that he can become. He has continued to play like the MVP Warner of the Rams. But the underlying heroes of it all have been the offensive line who have given the Warner ample time to set up and hit his targets. If the Cards can keep the dirt off Warner's back and give him ample time again, he will make the Steelers pay.

Get the Edge on the Edge

In order to give the line a little bit of help, someone whether it be Edge or Hightower needs to get the rushing game going or at least the threat of a rushing game. If the Steelers continuously get the Cards into 3rd and long, than Troy is going to be celebrating a Pick 6.

Expose the Fitzie Advantage

I don't care if the Steelers double Fitzgerald on every play there will be opportunities for the Cardinals to make big plays. Fitzgerald will at minimum get a few chances to break open the game, if he can't take advantage of those opportunities than the Cardinals are as good as done.

Fluster the Cheeseburger

The Cheeseburger has yet to throw an interception this postseason, what are the odds that he will remain pick free? If the Cardinals are to win, than they will need to continue what they have done so well so far this postseason, run in front of the oppositions passes.

Jump Out to a Hot Start

The Cardinals are a high powered offense and have the capabilities to come back when down by a few scores. The problem is that other than Kurt Warner, this team lacks any Super Bowl experience. If they get down early it just might be too tough for them mentally to climb out of a hole.

Posted by Simon at 12:20 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

PhotoHunt: Tsonga Power

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure out where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.

Posted by Simon at 11:11 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

The Plane Arrivals: Wisenhunt vs. Tomlin

Let's take a quick look at the vast differences of how the coaches exited their planes when they arrived in Tampa.

Ken Wisenhunt

What He Most Resembles: A Senator on a Diplomatic Mission
Most Impressive Attire Attribute: The United State Pin (just guessing that's there somewhere)
What He Exudes: Conservatism, stuffiness, rich white guyness
The Words Most Likely to Come Out of His Mouth: Lies



Mike Tomlin

What He Most Resembles: Puff Daddy in the Been Around the World Video
Most Impressive Attire Attribute: The Spiked Hankerchief
What He Exudes: Confidence, Coolness, Style
The Words Most Likely to Come Out of His Mouth: Lyrics from a Biggie Smalls Track

WINNER VIA TKO: Mike Tomlin

Posted by Simon at 9:00 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

History of the Super Bowl Reception Record

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Over the next week and a half I'll be charting out the progressions of some of the Super Bowl Records. Why? Because we all want to learn.


The reception record has only been set on three different occasions. First, like all receiving records, Max McGee set the standard with 7 receptions in Super Bowl I. In Super Bowl III George Sauer reset the standard at 8 receptions in the Jets upset victory. This record stood for 13 years until Dan Ross caught 11 passes from Ken Anderson in their loss in Super Bowl XVI. This record has never been exceeded and has only been matched three times. First of course by the great Jerry Rice in Super Bowl XXIII and then by two Patriots, Deion Branch in Super Bowl XXXIX and Wes Welker last year in Super Bowl XLII.

Check Out Additional Super Bowl Records

Posted by Simon at 4:04 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

Jelena Dokic Kind of Freaks Me Out

I'm Going To Do Un-Speakable Things to You Ball
PPPPUUUUUUUSSSSSHHHHH

RRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGEEEEEEE

This is Gentle Dokic

I'm Gonna Gut You With a Cleaver

I STRIKE WITH FULL HATRED OF YOUR SOUL

PIRATE DOKIC

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I think she might be dangerous...

Posted by Simon at 3:33 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!
Advertise Here!