Monday, October 22, 2007
The Pacmeng has found his new niche, mentoring current WVU students. Let's here a few testimonials:
"Pacman Jones has been very influential in teaching me how to alter a strip clubs weather pattern"
"Pacman Jones has taught me how to blame anything that goes wrong on bad luck."
"Pacman Jones helped me find Jesus."
1. It worked so well last week in increasing my spine strength, that I had to try to land on my skull yet again.
2. At UVA we find it more effective to have our running backs run with their hands than their feet.
3. It's fitting that play which results in UVA being 7-1 is upside down.
1. At Nebraska we think it's best to tackle 255+ pound running backs without our helmets.
2. Hey #13 can you please catch my head?
3. What is more likely? Me suffering brain damage on this play or coach not getting fired at the end of the season.
1. If you don't get me that cheeseburger, I'm going to eat you.
2. Ya I ate Ralph Friedgen, what have you with it?
3. Post win buffet run boys.
1. Superman wears Black and Gold.
2. I heard Mangino yelling about him wanting his Cheeseburger and I attempted to fly away.
3. Do you understand how scared I was, that Man eats human beings for an appetizer.
1. My psychic powers are ineffective with deterring this game winning touchdown catch.
2. Matt Flynn Bailing out Les Miles since 2007.
3. Scoring a td down 1 with 9 seconds to go in fg range... Ballsy or Stupid?
1. We wasted 15 entire bottles of our little sisters glitter.
2. We can't want to get home and mix up the colors, it's going to be absolutely fabulous.
3. Someone told us Jenn Sterger thought glitter was hot, but apparently she's too good for FSU now.
1. I would like it very much son if you threw a pass to our own receivers and they managed to get past that thick white line on the opposite side of the field.
2. Apparently the Green Jerseys didn't work at all.
3. Do you think if I ask nicely they'll have me back in New England?
1. Because I didn't play today, Coach Carr left me in charge of calling all of the offensive plays.
2. Appalachian St. is apparently better than everyone in the Big 10.
3. Even though I didn't play today, I still think I'm averaging 40 carries per game.
1. The girl behind me went on a mustache ride.
2. Attempting to be the first black fan in Buff history.
3. I call it the Hollywood Hogan.
"Dude how hilarious is it that we just beat a Big 10 team"
"Ya no kidding, that conference sucks."
"Do you think maybe next year we can join the conference over Minnesota?"
"Na I don't think we'd want to, it would lower our BCS ranking."
1. I'm taller than you.
2. Joe Pa is a better defender than you, if Joe Pa was on the field he would have deflected the pass.
3. Next week I think my quarterback should just throw me the ball on every play rather than fumbling the ball away 3 times in the 2nd half.
1. Come on, you know I'm gonna get fired can't you just give me a little break.
2. Why did they have to bring Tom Osborne back, anybody but Tom...
3. I don't think Tom likes they fact I went to a West Coast offense over the traditional pound it up your ass Nebraska football.
1. So long #2, it was very nice to have a one night stand with you.
2. Perhaps spiking the ball on 2nd and 22 to stop the clock when we had ample time was a bad move.
3. I didn't like being in New Jersey anyway. It smells in Piscataway.
At Northwestern we learn lots of things such as: Buttoning your chin strap on one side of the helmet does not effectively keep the helmet on your head, it hurts when you dive and land straight on your chin and you can possibly make a bowl game in a season that you lost to Duke.
1. Boy we're playin Vandy, I don't lose to Vandy do you understand this?
2. I repeat I don't lose to Vandy, so get out there and throw some gosh darn touchdown passes.
3. I just might have to get out there and tackle somebody myself, I'm already wearing click clack shoes.