Weekly Waste of Oxygen

Friday, October 26, 2007

No serious crimes this week again, which is nice, but again proves that you don't need to go to jail for a long time to be a complete waste of life.

1. Stan Vaughn - Those 1st base, 2nd base etc. sex talks were life changing in 3rd grade. However in high school I think the lingo changed a bit, and I'm pretty sure that you understand what the hell everything is and where stuff can and can't go. But I guess principals in Kansas think Saving 2nd Base t-shirts are too inappropriate for the youth of their community. And who really cares about raising money for breast cancer anyway right?

2. Hank Steinbrenner - Apparently it didn't take very long for another Steinbrenner to start saying dumb things to the media. Yes, we all understand that you thought Joe should make the World Series next year and if he didn't he would have not gotten a contract. So why when talking about hiring a new manager do you ask your fan base for patience and say that they are not the 96 Yankees. You might want to shut up.

3. East Hartford High - What do you do when your getting shut out in a football game in the high schools of ct? Well you simply hide a razor blade somewhere on you and start slicing at your opponents hands. That'll teach them from beating the piss out of your slightly ghetto high school football team.

4. Alicia Vigil - Lawn Chairs are not a deadly weapon Alicia. If you really want to do damage to a soccer coach that is pissing you off, I would suggest using your mini van. Those thinks probably pack a mighty punch. Get up to about 35 40 miles an hour and clip 'em. That should do appropriate damage. Oh and get yourself GPS.

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