It's Stephen A's Last Day, Doesn't He Look Excited

Thursday, April 30, 2009


Today marks the end of the Stephen A Smith era at ESPN, so they had him doing the rounds including this snapshot from his First Take segment. He just looks demoralized, it's kind of sad. Get the man some cheese doodles stat.

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Cody Ransom's Quest For the Mendoza Line is On Hold


Cody Ransom was placed on the DL over the weekend with a strained right quad. By the time he gets back to the club, if he does get back to the club, Alex Rodriguez will be back. It certainly doesn't look good that Cody is ever going to see his batting average above the Mendoza line this season.

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Some Retro Jerseys are Sweet, The Jets Retro Jerseys Blow

The Jets Retro jerseys are just so damn ugly. Mustard Yellow and Navy Blue? What an awful combo. Plus a boring plain helmet. I can't stand when they throw those hideous shirts on and not the beautiful green. And well, Gang Green is going greenless in three different games next year. One game at home against the Titans with the normal throw up retro jersey we're used to and two games on the road against the Dolphins and Raiders where they'll wear retro white jerseys. Oh joy. Can't they wear retro Namath jerseys?

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When Jay Marrioti Writes, People Vomit

I have a bunch of sites feeded through my google reader, one of which is the AOL Fanhouse. I peruse that feed daily and one thing always astonishes me, every time I see a title that is douchie it's Jay Marrioti. This morning we get, Rondo in, Howard Out: Double Standard. Because a foul is obviously the same as turning around and throwing an elbow at somebodies head in frustration. Let's play Fire Joe Morgan and pick a part pieces of his article.

Rondo leaped, popped him in the mouth, drew blood when Miller's tooth cut his lip, forced him to get a stitch job and left him so woozy that his eyeballs were peeking out of his eardrums.
It's called a foul. Sometimes you get hit in the head in basketball. Ask Grutt, I go for the ball all the time and probably smash him in the face 2 or 3 times a game.

It should have been whistled as a flagrant foul, which would have given the Chicago Bulls two free throws and possession of the ball. With Miller in no condition to attempt foul shots, a flagrant also would have let the Bulls pick a replacement shooter -- Ben Gordon, Kirk Hinrich -- to maybe make the two shots that Miller wound up missing.
No condition to shoot foul shots? He had a fat lip, it's not like he was hit by Mike Tyson in his prime. Rajon Rondo weighs 170 pounds soaking wet.

"You have to go for the basketball, and he didn't come near the ball. He came right across his face," said Bulls coach Vinny Del Negro, rightfully defending his player. "I agree that it's a hard playoff foul, but it's still a flagrant and you have to call it a flagrant."
Quote the Bulls coach as if he's a viable source. He might be jaded don't you think?

Said Miller: "I understand hard fouls. But when you get hit in the mouth over the shoulders, that stuff just gets old after a while."
And quote the guy who got fouled as well and then choked. Wow what non-biased sources.

"We felt Rondo was making a basketball play and going for the basketball after a blown defensive assignment by the Celtic team," said Stu Jackson, the NBA's vice president of operations. "In terms of the criteria that we use to evaluate a flagrant foul penalty one, generally we like to consider whether or not there was a windup, an appropriate level of impact and a follow-through. And with this foul, we didn't see a windup, nor did he follow through. So for that reason, we're not going to upgrade this foul to a flagrant foul penalty one."
Ok quote the league's suspension guru. Makes sense.

Why was Howard suspended and Rondo not even punished? Why the double standard? Shouldn't the Bulls and Magic wonder why Rondo gets to play his Game 6 and Howard doesn't?
Probably because Howard threw an elbow not during the course of play at the head of his opponent while Rondo was deemed to go for the ball and foul his opponent. There's a big fucking difference between trying to knock out your opponent pre-meditated and fouling someone.

And if the roles were reversed -- Miller as the perpetrator, Rondo as the victim -- don't you think Miller would have been flagrantly flagged?
Probably not.

We aren't far removed from the Tim Donaghy point-shaving scandal that, while apparently an isolated case, red-flagged some suspicions about hanky-panky. As a difficult game to officiate, pro basketball always will have a gray area when it comes to calls. But it's inconceivable that on the very same night in the playoffs, one hard shot to the head results in a suspension while another hard shot to the head warrants no action.
Intent, jackass. Do you not understand the difference between intent to take someones head off and intent to foul someone in the arm?

Jackson is dead wrong about Rondo going after the ball. In the final seconds of overtime, with Miller on an unimpeded path to a game-tying basket, Rondo turned into one of Bill Belichick's linebackers on a goal-line tackling mission and went straight for the face.
Football players don't go for the face. That's a 15 yard penalty.

Yet the league felt compelled to issue the one-game suspension anyway, sticking to the letter of the law. "They saw the elbow thrown but they couldn't determine whether or not the elbow actually made contact with Dalembert," Jackson said. "This was an elbow that was thrown that made contact above the shoulders and by rule there's an automatic suspension."
Yep no shit. He threw an elbow with intent at a guys face. An elbow at the head is effectively a punch, this is entirely different than fouling someone during the course of a game.

But Rondo can slam a player in the face with his arm and get a pass? I don't understand the vast differences in foul severity, especially when one can argue that Rondo's shot effectively cost Chicago the game.
A) It didn't cost them the game, Miller bricking the free throws did. You don't understand the differences cause you're an idiot. In one circumstance a guy tries to make a basketball foul and hits a guy in the face. In the other a guy turns after a made bucket and throws an unnecessary elbow at a guys head. They aren't anything a like in the slightest. And this is why you Jay, are a Moron.

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PhotoHunt: Yovani Is the Mexican Wonder

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.

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The New York Lynch Mob Is Starting to Move on David Wright

David Wright is a New York Met. He's always been a New York Met. He's always been a fan favorite. But now the tide is turning, the whispers of disappointed are starting to become screams. The lynch mob is gathering steam and could be on Wright's door step in just a matter of months.

David Wright is a great player. He's a .300 hitter. He hits 30+ home runs. He steals bases. But while he continues to put up these numbers year after year, Met fans are slowly realizing that after years of saying that they'd rather have David Wright over Alex Rodriguez because A-Rod isn't clutch, that Wright suffers from a similar case of the yips in big at bats. Over the past two seasons the Mets have collapsed in September and while David Wright isn't the only issue with the Mets, he certainly contributed. His numbers were significantly worse with runners in scoring position and he seemingly never picked up a big at bat in the final weeks of the year.

2009 unfortunately has been much of the same. Wright is batting a respectable .280, but if you listen to WFAN or ESPN 1050 or listen to the boos at Citi Field, you would think he's batting more like Rey Ordonez than David Wright. Why? Because it's the clutch at bats where he's struggling. Yesterday, down by 1 with runners on 1st and 2nd with no outs in the 9th, Wright came up against Marlins closer Matt Lindstrom. What did Wright do? He got caught looking, backwards K.

The reaction post game in the afternoon ranged from, what the hell is wrong with David Wright to Wright should be given the bunt signal to its time to trade Wright. At this point in time, many Met fans would rather have their franchise player bunt and leave the game up to Fernando Tatis to get the game winning hit. That's how bad it's already turned and if David Wright continues to perform in the clutch at the same miserable pace he may just need some extra security surrounding him and his gal pal.

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Gallardo 1 - Pirates 0

Wednesday, April 29, 2009


Yovani Gallardo was dominating on the hill against the Pirates. In the 7th inning he had 9 Ks and had given up just 1 hit and 1 walk, yet the Brew Crew sat deadlocked at 0. So what does he do? He says fuck it, and goes deep. Yovani 1 - Rest of the Brewers 0 - Pirates 0.

Here's highlights of Yovani's awesomeness.

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Promoting the NHL The Genius Way

Speaking of Hockey, How the hell do you have two game sevens and the one network that shows hockey games doesn't show either? How exactly is that promoting the game at all?

I was able to watch parts of the Rangers game because I get MSG but couldn't find the Devils game anywhere despite desperately wanting to watch its closing minutes. I get Versus, I get the NHL Network, the god damn NHL Network and I couldn't find the game. Apparently, the game was on MSG+, which I "get" but was showing a black screen. Maybe I'm the moron but neither of these games were on Nationally right? You have a game 7 featuring the best hockey player in the world and a game 7 featuring one of the most startling and quick comebacks in NHL history and neither could be watched by anybody but New Yorkers and New Jerseyites.

Don't let people watch the best games of your season. Now that's just a plain stupid way to promote your league.

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Think Martin Brodeur is Having a Nice Day?

With 2 minutes to go all things pointed to a satanic celebration in New Jersey. The Devils looked like they were going to advance to the 2nd round of the playoffs and more importantly my Streak for the Cash was going to reach 7. And then Martin Brodeur decided to forget that he's one of the greatest goaltenders of all time. Within 1 minute of regulation the Devils went from in the 2nd round, to ready for overtime, to gotta schedule that tee time tomorrow.

So what do you think a hall of fame goaltender coming off his worst ever defeat is doing today? The weather is a nice cool 63 in Newark, so its neither beach nor heavy smog weather. He could spend it outside golfing, but that seems a bit too casual. He could spend time banging his wife, who used to be his sister-in-law. Perhaps he's beating up homeless people ala Clockwork Orange to blow off some steam.

Or perhaps he's just crying and watching this YouTube clip...


Whatever he's doing, I can't imagine that today is a good day.

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What to Do With Chien-Ming Wang?

Through 3 1/2 weeks of the season Chien-Ming Wang has been the worst pitcher in major league baseball. He was so bad that the Yankees basically just told him to go on the Disabled List with "Hip abductor muscle weakness". And by that they mean incredibly bloated ERA.

Last night marked a potential crossroads for Wang. Phil Hughes, the Yankees top prospect, filled in and threw a gem. Hughes last 6 innings, struckout six and gave up just 2 hits and 2 walks total. If Hughes goes out and has a few more solid outings than where does that leave Wang. Hughes is the Yankees top prospect, if he goes out and pitches well, in reality there's no reason the Yankees should take him out of the rotation even if Wang is theoretically back to the 19 game winner of 06-07. Obviously, Burnett and CC aren't going to the bullpen anytime soon. Andy is likely to old and prideful to accept a demotion, and is 2-1 with a 2.96 ERA thus far this season. Thus that leaves either Wang or Joba to be in the pen.

Everyone knows that Joba in his time in the bullpen was amongst the best setup men in baseball but the Yankees have proclaimed him to be an ace of the future. A move back into the pen would signal a retraction of that statement and could signal Joba's permanent move to the pen. The back and forth nonsense the Yankees have put Joba through must stop.

Meanwhile Wang's stuff and career splits scream "Useless in the Bullpen". Why? First off Wang is not a strikeout nor a power pitcher. At best his upside is a Ramiro Mendoza / Justin Masterson type, who comes in with runners on seaking to induce a double play. But his situational stats suggest the worst. Between pitches 0-15 and 15-30 his stats are significantly worse than the rest of his stats with ERAs above 5 in both spots. Some of this is obviously skewed, because if you don't have your stuff and are getting rocked, you probably won't last to your 90th pitch, but still the stats are alarming.

So who would you put in the pen? Joba or Wang?

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PhotoHunt: Tony Parker's Face of Fail

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.

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Brett Is the Story That Never Ends, Yes It Goes On and On My Friend

Just when you thought that it was all done there would be no more rumors about Brett's return to the NFL the Jets go and throw this in your face. Brett Favre is released, he is a free agent, free to sign anywhere on the planet, [cough] Minnesota [cough].

Over the weekend it was pretty evident that the Jets had moved on. When they traded up for Mark Sanchez in the first round it was entirely certain that even if Brett wanted to quarterback the Jets next season that it wouldn't have happenned. And since the Jets still owned his rights as a football player than if he wasn't going to play for the Jets he wasn't going to play period. It was a certainty. And Now? Not so much.

Apparently Favre had asked the Jets for his release a long time ago and the Jets just finally got around to granting him it this week. This begs the question, "If you're a retired football player with no intention of ever coming back to play again, why the hell do you need to be a free agent?" The answers are one of two options, either he is still potentially open to playing again or he wants to retire as a Packer and not a Jet so he does one of those stupid one day contract bullshit with the Packers and holds qa big press conference in Green Bay. Option two could really be his reasoning but it certainly won't stop ESPN or other talking heads to speculate until it happens, which means MORE BRETT FAVRE! Yay, Arm Punts for Everyone.

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The Yankees Think It's Time to Fix the Glitch

Tuesday, April 28, 2009


After just one home stand the Yankees have decided it's time to fix the glitch and are restructuring their prices for premium seats. They have cut the prices of behind the plate seats from a way to damn expensive $2,500 a game to a way too damn expensive $1,250 a game. Most notably to me they have cut the prices of the empty seats in the above photo and the two sections next to it from a mind blowing $1000 a game to a mind blowing $650 dollars a game. So, they've admitted defeat just three weeks into the season.

Also, to not piss off the filthy rich customers who already paid the ludicrous previous prices, the Yankees are giving them extra tickets in the premium seats, because well they have plenty of them to spare. So they have laid out a dozen or so bullet points of if you bought this than you'll get that. I won't bore you with the details, cause it's not going to affect your life cause anyone who reads this blog isn't dropping $850 on a seat.

To me, a 26 year old who isn't getting a raise anytime soon during his companies current year long salary freeze, these tickets are still 1/2 a paycheck and ludicrous. But perhaps people out there are willing to drop $650 dollars for a game but not $1000? I certainly hope so because I would prefer the stadium to stop embarrassing itself. It'd be nice to have a sold out brand new ball park.

H/T to Darren Rovell & the AP & Yankees.com

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Paddy Harrington is Happy Gilmore, Minus the Bob Barker Beatdown

Think that the Happy Gilmore swing doesn't add length to your tee shot? Well you're just doing it wrong.



I can't wait until someone starts doing this on the tour, and it's just a matter of time.

Courtesy of Devil Ball

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Download the 2009 College Football Helmet Schedules

These are from last year, so don't you think you are more interested in the 2010 College Football Helmet Schedule Glossary?

All Football Bowl Subdivisions Helmet Schedules, from the ACC to the WAC, are completed and ready to be downloaded online. So what are you waiting for?



In addition download the Featured Game Spreadsheet, for your look at the 5 biggest games each week of the 2009 season.

Also if you're looking for more schedules, Download the NFL Helmet Schedule or the NFL Cheerleader Schedule.

Updates: Corrected Nebraska schedule (5/27), Corrected Rutgers & Ball St. (6/10), Corrected SEC (7/1), Corrected Ole Miss & Pac 10 (7/13), Corrected KState (8/4), Corrected Northwestern (9/3)

If you find any other errors please email me at SimonOnSports at gmail.com and I'll fix them ASAP!

If You're Having Trouble With the First Link, Here's a Backup Download, click free download. It's a little more annoying, hence why it's the backup.

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PhotoHunt: Crabtree the Diva

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.

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What He Really Is Saying: Andre Smith's Agent

Darren Rovell of CNBC recently had an interview with Rick Smith, the agent of Cincinnati Bengals 1st round draft pick Andre Smith. It's time to translate what he is really saying.

Darren: I know you have only been with Andre for days, but how did he manage to salvage what could have been a monumental loss of money for him?

Smith: It started with team officials understanding the fact that he responds well to the type of discipline that Nick Saban gave him at Alabama. And he doesn’t do as well when he’s off on his own. They knew that when he was in a structured, disciplined environment, he would be a star.

Translation: The kid is lazy and fat. Finished the football season and lived at a Krispy Kream. What do you want kids always hungry? I just had to convince people he could be less fat, and obviously the Bengals were the easiest team to convince.

Darren: What did it for Cincinnati? Because we didn’t see anything that would have made it obvious.

Smith: It was really the surprise weigh-in that happened on Thursday. The Bengals put him on the scale and he came in at 337 pounds. (Smith weighed as high as 380 pounds, at one point.)

Translation: I couldn't believe the kid actually lost weight, I could hear the cash registers ringing in my ears.

Darren: It was being said that his conduct at the Combine could have put him to the bottom of the first round. There’s a lot of misinformation. Was this information accurate?

Smith: It was absolutely accurate. He was definitely in jeopardy of losing a lot of money. Last year’s 28th pick overall was guaranteed $6,060,000 and got a max of $11.2 million. Last year’s No. 6 pick got a guaranteed $21 million and a maximum of $50 million. That would have been a lot of money to leave on the table.

Translation: No he really is a complete moron. He would have lost a boatload of money. Agains let's thank the Bengals for being the Bengals.

Darren: But people are still confused. We’ve been told that if you don’t have a good Combine, you always have Pro Day. And if you don’t have a good Pro Day, you’ll slip. He had neither. How did Andre get the benefit of the doubt?

Smith: Film. You can see he’s unbelievably talented. He’s an elite Pro Bowl-type player who can play at a high level.

Translation: The Bengals drafted him. They don't pay attention. I just showed them a video of a good lineman. It wasn't even Andre.

Darren: How much do you credit you and your team at Priority Sports for Andre staying up at the top of the Draft?

Smith: I would say that we completed the puzzle. We helped give teams the comfort that they needed.

Translation: Everything. Without me that moron could have balooned up to 400 pounds and fell to the 4th round. I give my team all the credit.

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Time to Wipe Out the Favre Stuff


The era is over. It wasn't good. It lasted a year. It's time to realize those Brett Favre items on clearance aren't going to sell no matter how cheap you make them. Just donate it all to Nicaragua. Thanks.

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NFL Draftie Quick Notes

Monday, April 27, 2009

~Quality over Quantity was the Jets motto. And well they better be quality cause they only made three draft picks. An insignificant 6th rounder for O-line depth, Mark Sanchez, and Shonn Greene. Shonn Greene might be really good but where the hell does he get snaps next year? TJ had his best year and Leon already doesn't get enough touches. Where the hell is Greene getting carries? The Jets still lack offensive deep threats, so the offense may still be suspect.

~I obviously don't know much about token 6th round offensive guards, so I'm not going to be able to say this Abilene Christian player is going to be really really good. So when I look at a draft I look at top picks and think they improved or they didn't and to me I absolutely positively love the Eagles first two picks. The entire offseason the Eagles looked like they accomplished nothing to further McNabb's available weapons and within the first two rounds they are looking good. I've already proclaimed my thoughts on Maclin, and I love him with the Iggles. He'll provide a solid compliment of speed and quickness on short routes to DeSean Jackson's constant vertical threat. Maclin also provides excellent kickoff and punt return games which can keep Westbrook away from those areas. The next pick of McCoy gives them a solid safety net for the 4 games Westbrook will miss next year due to injuries and the fall off should not be as astronomical as it has been in recent years. All in all I absolutely love these pickups.

~Only Al Davis drafts DHB above Crabtree and Maclin. Only Al Davis. And that's what makes Al Davis so great. It's like he knows everyone thinks he's senile and just loves speed over all other important aspects to being a great football player so he just fits the bill to make people shake their heads and be controversial. Or he really is just senile.

~The Bucs are retarded and so is Josh Freeman. Freeman went out and said that the Bucs picked up Leftwich for the purpose of trying to convince teams that the Bucs had no interest in him in a chat on NFL.com. And yet they convinced everyone so much of their non-interest that they traded up in the draft to get him when no one else wanted him.

~The Cowboys had a fun draft thanks to their idiotic Roy Williams trade. Yay for repercussions from a stupid midseason acquisition.

~In typical Patriot fashion I've never heard of any of the players they drafted. If it works every year, than why stop.

~Rey Maualuga is a beast and was a 2nd round steal. Too bad he'll be a complete waste in Cincy, the land where defense dies.

~The Bill Cosby segment on ESPN was scary weird.

~Honestly, I think overall the draft was pretty boring. Limited trades, limited surprises. The big names supposedely on the block, Braylon Edwards, Brady Quinn, Boldin, etc, stayed put. There weren't too many suprises nor a Brady Quinn-esque free-fall down the draft board. Just kind of a status-quo draft for the most part.

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NASCAR Needs More Of This



On the final lap, a little Ricky Bobby action. Man if I knew this would happen the final lap of every race I would actually sign up to watch 30 seconds of NASCAR a week. And nobody died or was seriously injured.

Flying Car + Nobody Dying = Awesome

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Kellen Clemens Was Mr. March


Kellen was lucky enough to be Mr. March in the 2009 Jets Calendar. For some reason I don't think he's Mr. April and beyond.

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PhotoHunt: Sanchez is a Jet (answers)

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.

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Dumbest Stat of the Weekend: Mariano Has More Blown Saves Against the Sox Than Anyone Else

In a word, no shit. They pop up 12 career blown saves against the Sox on the screen and say that he's blown more saves against Boston than anybody else as if it's newsworthy. Who the hell did you think he was going to blow more saves against? The Royals? The Red Sox are consistently the best team the Yankees play year in and year out. They are the team they play more than anybody during the regular season. The vast majority of their games are close so when the Yankees are winning he gets plenty of save opportunities. In a world with plenty of 'No Shit' statistics, just chalk this one up as another.

Mariano in his long career has pitched against the Red Sox more than any team other than the Baltimore Orioles. He's had more save opportunities against the Red Sox than any other team other than the Orioles. He has more saves against the Sox than any team but the Orioles and Rays. He actually has 12 wins against the Sox which is more than against any other team.

If anything what would be noteworthy is the ratio of blown saves to saves. Mo has 44 saves against the Sox and 12 blown saves. That's obviously not a great total but not nearly as bad as his totals against the Angels. Against the Angels, he's saved just 17 games and blown 8 saves. But again this isn't groundbreaking news either. Mo has been worse against the better teams in baseball during his era. Umm, no shit.

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The New York Jets Now Have a Quarterback

The Jets showed balls, the wanted one man and they went out and got him. They believe he's going to be the franchise quarterback. They believe he's the quarterback to lead them in the future. So they went out gave up two picks and three players to get one guy. Mark Sanchez is now Gang Green.

As a franchise they are extremely excited, the future is now. As a fan my expectations are tempered. Do any of us know what Mark Sanchez is going to be? He's only played one season in college and first round quarterbacks aren't necessarily automatic. The potential is there, the franchise loves him, but in reality he's still a wildcard. We still have no idea what the future holds. Are the Jets any better today than they were 3 days ago? None of us really have any idea.

Additionally, the've now as a franchise fully admitted that Kellen Clemens is a sunk cost. In 2006 they utilized their 2nd round pick on the quarterback from Oregon and through 3 seasons he's never gotten a legitimate shot to prove he could play the position in the NFL. In all likelihood Sanchez is given every opportunity to beat out Clemens in the preseason and if somehow Clemens wins the job and plays well, then the Jets will have a Derek Anderson / Brady Quinn shit show on their hands. It could get ugly. In all honesty I was hoping that yesterday the Jets just dump Clemens for a 6th round pick so that the franchise admitted this was Sanchez's team.

Finally, my expectations are tempered because they still have no wide receivers to make a big play. Cotchery and Keller will be a solid over the middle combination but the Jets are lining up to be the Ravens in the Big Apple and that doesn't excite me. Perhaps over the next few months they will land a big time wideout, but right now defenses are going to pack the box, double no one, and bring heat on whichever inexperienced QB takes snaps. It could get ugly.

In the end I can't say I'm thrilled or annoyed with the deal. Sanchez could be a perennial pro bowl quarterback but he also could be a mediocre pro. Only time will tell.

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2009 Sun Belt Football Schedule (Helmet Style)

Friday, April 24, 2009


I went with Vintage helmets because it added a little twist. Click on the Image for a Full Size Version. If you want the Excel File for whatever reason or have a correction to the schedule, email me at SimonOnSports at gmail dot com. Also feel free to Check Out the Other Conference Helmet Schedules.

*Update, Download the Entire Helmet Schedule Here

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NBA Playoff Scoring Trivia



Check Out More SimonOnSports Trivia

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One Additional Year Extension for Each Interception

When a player single handedly sinks your teams chances in a playoff game by throwing 5 interceptions and tacking on a fumble to boot, how the hell do you give him a 5 year extension? This may amount to the absolute dumbest of the offseason. Jake Delhomme is a mid-tier quarterback. He threw 15 touchdowns and 12 interceptions last year. These numbers are nothing to write home about and don't even include the debacle in January where he almost hit Cardinals d-backs as many times as he hit his own receivers.

To make the deal even worse, Delhomme isn't exactly a young man. He's 34 years old. In five years he'll be 39. If he isn't very good right now, how the hell do you think he's going to be good in 5 years? I don't know the structure of the 5 year, 42 million dollar deal, perhaps the 20 million guaranteed is frontloaded but regardless there's no way Delhomme is a viable Superbowl quarterback in 2014. Absolutely positively no way.

So how the hell did Delhomme get this extension? My only guess is blackmail. Or the Scalabrine method.

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PhotoHunt: That Tricky Ivy

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.

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Chien-Ming Wang's Extended Spring

Chien-Ming Wang has been everything but good so far this season. He's singularly lost three games for the Yankees through fifteen games. So naturally the Yankees do not want to pitch him against the rival Red Sox and are going to skip his start. So if you're not doing anything for a week in the big leagues what does an MLB pitcher do? Apparently go down to Florida and throw 7 innings. Huh?

So let me get this straight. You can be on the active 25 man roster and both not be on the team but actually start games for a different team within the organization. That must have been a solid pitch. He Wang, you suck, go to Tampa and start against some little leaguers and then maybe we'll bring you back or maybe we'll just put you on the DL and bring up someone that doesn't have an ERA of 34.

The worst part of all of this nonsense is that not only did he have to go down to Tampa and pitch against scrubs, but he still managed to give up 5 runs in 7 innings. And to prove he was facing scrubs, Wang struckout 11 batters through 7. Wang has never struckout 11 batters in his 5 year career in the big leagues.

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St. John's In Search of a Ridiculous Mascot


It's time for a change. It's time to accomodate the kids. It's time to create a horrendous mascot. But St. John's can't do it themselves, no they want fan input on the given options. So they give you quick snipits of what each mascot stands for.


1. Thunderbird is a mythological spirit of thunder and lightning...
2. Thunder Horse is a redesigned and improved version of "Thunder," the horse mascot of the 1990s.
3. Red Storm Bear: Black bears are native to New York State and can be some of the fiercest animals in the world.
4. Red Storm Dog: The Red Storm dog is a faithful, loyal and protective companion.
5. Storm Hero: Dressed in St. John's colors and adorned with thunderbolts, this superhero exudes strength, courage, confidence and tenacity.
6. Thunderbolt: A traditional expression for lightning or a symbolic representation, a thunderbolt has been a powerful symbol throughout history, and has appeared numerous times in mythology.


My vote is for Ron Artest Assault hero. He raps, he throws haymakers in the crowd, he does it all.

Courtesy of Deadspin

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2009 NFC North Cheerleader Schedule

Thursday, April 23, 2009


Why do a helmet schedule for the NFL when so many squads don't have solid vintage helmets? So instead you get a cheerleader schedule. Why? Because I'm guessing you like scantily clad women. Click on the pick to see a full size image.

Check Out the Other Schedules: AFC East, AFC West, AFC South, AFC North, NFC East, NFC West, NFC South, NFC North

Or Download the Entire Spreadsheet

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Ian Kinsler Says I am Fantastic

Dear Fantasy Owners,

Hello friendly fantasy owners, this here is your favorite fantasy second baseman Ian Kinsler. I'm here to congratulate those who were intelligent enough to draft me and laugh at those who said I was an injury risk, blah blah blah, I'll just wait for Alexei Ramirez in the 5th round. Silly jackass. I'm ranked #1. Ramirez? He's 817. Good choice.

And just to rub it in, I'm not going to get injured and I'm not going to stop being awesome. I'm gonna hit 30 homers. Steal 35 bases. Hit .315. Drive in over 100 and score over 100. At 2nd base no less. Suck on that.

I AM FANTASTIC,
Ian Kinsler

Ps. You wondering why it was actually the dumb Jewish kid who knows nothing about baseball who stole me in the early 2nd round? I'm 1/2 Jew, that's why.

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2009 AFC North Cheerleader Schedule


Why do a helmet schedule for the NFL when so many squads don't have solid vintage helmets? So instead you get a cheerleader schedule. Why? Because I'm guessing you like scantily clad women. Click on the pick to see a full size image.

Check Out the Other Schedules: AFC East, AFC West, AFC South, AFC North, NFC East, NFC West, NFC South, NFC North

Or Download the Entire Spreadsheet

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The Jets Trade Rumors Be a Swirling

So the draft is two days away and not the Jets trade winds are starting to swirl up up and away. And they all have to do with either a quarterback or a wideout. Apparently the Jets are in the Browns marketplace and are contemplating trading around for Hero of the Homosexuals Brady Quinn and/or Braylon Edwards. Those could happen, Mangini does hate quarterbacks, receivers and offense in general. Good ole Sal Palontonio thinks that the Jets may be in the Jason Campbell sweepstakes especially if the Redskins do their typical nonsensical insanity and trade up for Mark 'Dirty' Sanchez. Oh and the Jets are of course in the sweepstakes for 'Dirty' Sanchez themselves. Trades trades trades trades, YAY trade rumors.

So what do we expect the Jets to do? Pick someone to add to this video of course. It already needs to be updated with Vernon Gholston why not just add another name to the list.



And why trade up for a quarterback when Brett Favre is obviously just gonna come out of retirement in August to lob arm punts throughout the season.

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PhotoHunt: That's Not Kason Gabbard

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.

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NFL Late Round Steals Trivia



Check Out More SimonOnSports Trivia

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2009 NFC South Cheerleader Schedule

Wednesday, April 22, 2009


Why do a helmet schedule for the NFL when so many squads don't have solid vintage helmets? So instead you get a cheerleader schedule. Why? Because I'm guessing you like scantily clad women. Click on the pick to see a full size image.

Check Out the Other Schedules: AFC East, AFC West, AFC South, AFC North, NFC East, NFC West, NFC South, NFC North

Or Download the Entire Spreadsheet

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Other Thoughts On the New Yankee Stadium



So I've already elaborated on the pathetic attendance in the lower levels but here's a run through of some of my other thoughts on the stadium.

~First and foremost the stadium is HUGE! It's massive. The concourses are 2 1/2 to 3 times bigger than they used to be. You can walk around field level and see the field from basically anywhere in fair territory. The only time you're shielded from the light of day is when you walk under the bleachers. It's immeasurably better than the old stadium in maneuvarabilty. I could basically sprint around on field level to the food if I wanted to, and I was pretty close to doing that.

~When you walk in the stadium there's really a wow moment and then from there, you'll get some things that take away from the wow feeling.

~The first thing that kicks you in the groin is that everything is ridiculously expensive. I walked around the entire field level searching for something that I didn't think would require me to cut off my leg and hand it to the cashier as payment for food. It was nearly impossible to find. Eventually I decided on getting a massive plate of Nachos from Latina Cantina, or whatever its called. It was 9 bucks. Had approximately 1400 calories, they told me on the board, was decent, but not really what I was looking for. I was actually pretty disappointed with my food options. I could only find one place in the upper deck that I could by a sausage and the line was massive. If I wanted a Johnny Rockets cheeseburger I would have needed to drop like 10 bones. The pulled pork sandwhich was like 12 or something like that. Steak Sandwhich 15 bucks. Seriously everything is outrageously and annoyingly priced.

~It cost me ten bucks for like a 20+ ounce Budweiser. But I got a commerorative cup. Two of them actually. YAY 20 dollars for two plastic cups. Not really expecting much less from them, but 11 dollars for a Guiness that was likely smaller than the Budweiser just seemed a bit too steep for me to purchase. (Yes I'm relatively cheap)

~The lines for the food were still a massive clusterfuck.


~I'm not really sure where to park anymore, but the lot I used to park in across the street from the bat, is a hike to the stadium. And it's 19$ bones to park. Yay money.

~Sitting in the upperdeck and looking at the field, I honestly didn't feel like I was in a new building, unless I was of course looking at the 9000 foot flat screen in centerfield. The dimensions and field and behind the plate look pretty similar so it really does feel like you're in "Yankee Stadium".

~Unlike the Mets and their homage to all things Dodgers, the Yankees have pictures of their World Championships and heroes everywhere. So when you're in the stadium you absolutely positively know this is the Yankees ball park.

~Because the concourses are open air and have a view of the field, if you buy a cheap seat you can essentially just stand behind the last field row and watch the game there the entire time. It's actually a pretty baller view of the game.

~I like the out of town scoreboard. Showing who's on, who's pitching, who's up, etc. is a nice touch. Allows me to stop checking scores on my phone.

~Some things to me are a bit weird. The art gallery and the live lookin butcher shop are probably the main two culprits.

~Honestly I think restaurants in stadiums are stupid. Why go to a restaurant in a stadium and pay for a ticket and pay 3 times for your food if you're not going to even experience the actual game?

~Oh and all those empty seats pissed me off and are mostly likely negatively jading what was really a sweet experience. Especially considering I only had to sell one of my kidneys for the Nachos and beer. What a steal.

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2009 AFC South Cheerleader Schedule


Why do a helmet schedule for the NFL when so many squads don't have solid vintage helmets? So instead you get a cheerleader schedule. Why? Because I'm guessing you like scantily clad women. Click on the pick to see a full size image.

Check Out the Other Schedules: AFC East, AFC West, AFC South, AFC North, NFC East, NFC West, NFC South, NFC North

Or Download the Entire Spreadsheet

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Mocking the 2009 NFL Draft

To be completely honest, I don't care much about this years NFL draft. I doubt highly the Jets will trade up enough to get Sanchez and even more highly that Maclin could plummet all the way to 17. Other than those two guys I'm a little indefferent as to whom the Jets select. For this reason, all I'm doing is a simple mock draft.


Basically the Lions throw their franchise in Stafford's hands, the next few teams go conservative with lineman and Curry. Than Crabtree falls further to he should to the depths of Oakland. The Jaguars dreams come true and they trade out of the pick to somebody who drafts Sanchez. Maybe the Broncos. I get my hopes up that Maclin is falling and then some random team trades up to the Redskins and snatches him up. Then the rest of the draft is snooze fest.

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PhotoHunt: Devils vs. Hurricanes

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.

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The New Yankee Stadium is Embarrassing Itself


Last night I made my first ever trip to the New Yankee Stadium. It's massive it's grand and it's currently being horrendously embarrassed by the fact that they've priced their tickets in a range that nobody is buying and I mean nobody. I've highlighted three sections above all of which are at the worst seats at a given price range which you can see on the image at the bottom of the post. The most glaring hole is section 11 in the middle. This field level section AT MOST had TWO PEOPLE in it the entire game. Those two people were there from the third inning to the 7th inning. When I walked down to field level to get food, Section 29 which are essentially the same seats but on left field line HAD 3 PEOPLE IN THEM. Between two premium sections with a great view of the game there were FIVE PEOPLE. I felt like I was at a Pirates game.

The other two sections I highlighted were for the most part less than half full the entire game. Why? Because they are obviously overpriced. Section 215 by the first base line is a 125$ dollars a ticket per game pre-ordered or a 150$ per game if bought on game day. It was probably 3/4 empty the entire game. Section 103 in rightfield is 90$ a ticket for an over-glorified bleacher seat. It was at best 1/2 full. And I didn't even circle the luxury sweets which were already covered over the weekend by PaulKatcher.com as being incredibly vacant.

Sure it was a misty night against a shitty team with an uninspiring pitching matchup. You can expect some seats to be empty for the game. Just when an entire section is empty for the entire game its EMBRARRASSING.



Here are my other thoughts on the stadium. Namely that everything is really really expensive.

Click on either image to see it in larger size. And unfortunately all I had was my Blackberry's camera so the quality is just eh.

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2009 NFC West Cheerleader Schedule

Tuesday, April 21, 2009


Why do a helmet schedule for the NFL when so many squads don't have solid vintage helmets? So instead you get a cheerleader schedule. Why? Because I'm guessing you like scantily clad women. Click on the pick to see a full size image.

Check Out the Other Schedules: AFC East, AFC West, AFC South, AFC North, NFC East, NFC West, NFC South, NFC North

Or Download the Entire Spreadsheet

Posted by Simon at 4:44 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

2009 AFC West Cheerleader Schedule


Why do a helmet schedule for the NFL when so many squads don't have solid vintage helmets? So instead you get a cheerleader schedule. Why? Because I'm guessing you like scantily clad women. Click on the pick to see a full size image.

Check Out the Other Schedules: AFC East, AFC West, AFC South, AFC North, NFC East, NFC West, NFC South, NFC North

Or Download the Entire Spreadsheet

Posted by Simon at 1:11 PM 1 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

The Struggling Fantasy Stars of April

It's just two weeks into your fantasy season and you're in dead last kicking yourself over how you didn't pick up Ian Kinsler in the second round when you knew he was going to be a stud. Instead you picked up Jimmy Rollins and his .150average. Let's take a look at some of the superstars that are pulling out the hair of their fantasy owners, hint many of them reside on my team.

POWER JEW aka Ryan Braun - Came into the year with a Yahoo rank of 7 and like many of the Brew Crew is maligned in a power and contact outage. After 2 weeks POWER JEW has scored just 3 runs, hit one homer and is batting just .222.

Prince Fielder - Seriously someone get him a fat juicy steak. Enough with this vegetarian garbage. You're a large man, act like it. And start hitting homers again. Just 1 homer and a .175 average and like Braun just 3 runs scored through 2 weeks.

Jimmy Rollins* - Typically a slow starter but this is ridiculous. J-Roll isn't hitting at all. Through 2 weeks he's hitting in the .100s, has 1 home run, and worst of all isn't even running as he hasn't stolen a base yet. Guess that's what happens when you get 7 hits in two weeks.

Matt Holliday - Worried about his move from Coors to Oakland, but you just couldn't shy away from all that track record. Now after two weeks, no homers, no steals and only 1 run scored you're very very frightened.

Alexei Ramirez - 20/20 as second base and shortstop eligible? Sign me up. Except for the fact that after 2 weeks he has neither a steal nor a homer and only has 5 hits. Ouch.

Brandon Phillips - Locking up that second baseman with the fourth best option out their behind Kinsler, Utley and Pedroia and you thought you were solid. He hits in a great park, with some young stud as protection, and now after two weeks that's got you 6 hits and a homer and steal.

Russell Martin - You couldn't quite make up your mind who was the number 1 catcher between McCann or Martin but you pulled the trigger on Martin. You were excited to take Martin's 20/20 potential. Through 2 weeks you've gotten a .244 with no power or speed. Uh oh.

Brian McCann* - You drafted him right after Martin got picked up and the first series against the Phillies looked great. You were pumped up. Then all of a sudden he got blurred vision, can't see the baseball and is teetering towards a DL stint.

Geovany Soto - Why not make it a tri-fecta of catcher pain. Soto's been banged up but with just 19 at bats he's got 2 hits, scored 1 run, and has 1 rbi. Ahhhhhh. Catcher madness.

Big Papi - He kept sliding in your draft and eventually you said you know what maybe he's got something left. Well, he doesn't. No homers through two weeks and batting around the Mendoza Line.

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PhotoHunt: Ray Allen Is Big Buckets

It's PhotoHunt Time. Take a look at the pictures and see if you can figure where the 5 differences are. Click on the Image to get a larger view if needed. Then when you are done check out the answers linked below.

Posted by Simon at 11:11 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

Adding a Little Psycho to the Fantasy Team


Yesterday I took the plunge. I added Elijah Dukes to the fantasy squad and jettisoned Hideki "Bum Knee" Matsui. So Elijah lets try to hit baseballs and not women. No more death threats to your former girlfriend. No more autographs for little kids either cause apparently doing charity work for kids and showing up 5 minutes late for work gets you suspended and fined. Elijah set up a bunk bed in the clubhouse and start sleeping there.

Posted by Simon at 9:23 AM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!

2009 NFC East Cheerleader Schedule

Monday, April 20, 2009


Why do a helmet schedule for the NFL when so many squads don't have solid vintage helmets? So instead you get a cheerleader schedule. Why? Because I'm guessing you like scantily clad women. Click on the pick to see a full size image.

Check Out the Other Schedules: AFC East, AFC West, AFC South, AFC North, NFC East, NFC West, NFC South, NFC North

Or Download the Entire Spreadsheet

Posted by Simon at 4:44 PM 0 comments Links to this post   Digg! submit to reddit BallHype: hype it up!
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