Yes I pay no attention to hockey, during the regular season. Why the hell does it start already? Yes this is a couple of days late I guess but why play two games in London? And yes I need to do a seasons prediction. Why? Because atleast when I get these horribly wrong I will have an excuse. The Whalers won the Stanley Cup Last Year right?NHL West Playoff Seeds
1. Detroit Redwings - Central Winners - Snooze the Redwings with the best record.
2. Mighty Ducks - Pacific Winners - Remember the Bombay effect is still in tact.
3. Calgary Flames - Northwest Winners - They have a black captain. That's bad ass.
4. San Jose Sharks - Teal is too intimidating for most teams to handle on the ice.
5. Minnesota Wild - Trading KG in the offseason will get them into the playoffs.
6. Dallas Stars - Tony Romo captains the stars to the postseason.
7. Nashville Predators - Country music and Hockey this is what Nashville does.
8. Colorado Avalanche - They always make the playoffs right?
West Conference Finals
Mighty Ducks over the San Jose Sharks - Because they are ducks and have shades of green in their body's they can deal with the intimidating teal effect of the Sharks.
NHL East Playoff Seeds
1. Ottawa Senators - Northeast Winners - Free Healthcare in Canadia, those Senators are good.
2. Hartford Whalers - Southeast Winners - Stupid Whalers...
3. New York Rangers - Atlantic Winners - Isiah takes over midseason and pulls double duty Rangers and Knicks.
4. Pittsburgh Penguins - lead by the uber talented and first ever major professional sports female MVP Sydney Crosby.
5. New Jersey Devils - Where else would the Devil Reside other than Jersey?
6. Buffalo Sabres - I understand the Buffalo jesey logo idea. But where is the Sabre?
7. Philadelphia Flyers - Philly are the comeback kids.
8. Boston Bruins - One of these years they won't suck balls.
East Conference Finals
New York Rangers over the Hartford Whalers -Chris Drury the new leader of the Rangers goes out to a strip club and has sex with one of the Garden's interns. This fires him up to play like the Stephon Marbury of the NHL and lead the Rangers to a stunning upset of the Whalers.
Stanley Cup Finals
New York Rangers over San Jose Sharks - I thought there was a Salary Cap in hockey? How did the Rangers sign two of the biggest free agents in the sport? An Alaskan named Gomez? And a Little League stud from Trumbull. In memory of the defeat of Taiwan in 1989 the neighboorhood boys do it again.
NHL Awards
There's way too many awards in the NHL, so obviously I'm not going to do them all...
Adams - Gordon Bombay, is their any doubt he's going to be the best coach in the league, give me an f'n break. (Perennial Pick)
Calder - Ooh the Rookie of the Year award this is a good one. Hmm, is Ryan Braun Canadian? I know he's Jewish, but Jewish Canadian? Probably not. We'll give him the award anyway. Dual Rookie of the Years for Braun. Congrats.
Hart - Who's got Hart? The one female in the NHL of course. Sydney Crosby.
Norris - Named after Chuck for being bad ass. Todd Bertuzzi should win this cause he was thug life when he punched that dude from behind.
Pearson - Alexander Ovechkin, cause he scores goals and goals make people happy.
Lady Byng - Someone I will lose respect for. Awarded for Sportsmanship? It's Hockey there should be none of that.
Vezina - Henrik Lundquist es un swedish pimp from Club Vandersexxx.
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