1. You got your win, so are you satisfied with your Christmas gift?2. Cleo Lemon = Santa Claus, Brian Billick = The Grinch
3. Your parents must be pretty releaved that they no longer have to spend any money on you. Perhaps they'll send Cam and the boys a thank you card.
1. Why does Chad have no arm?2. Why is it raining, it's so damn cold?
3. Why can't McCareins catch the ball?
4. Why does my team suck?
5. Why couldn't we have broken Tom's ankle?
1. Jessica will you marry me?2. On second thought maybe you should stop coming to my games.
3. And maybe stop seeing me period. Do you have Carrie Underwood's number? I lost it.
1. I am definitely too old for this.2. Am I wearing Zubaz pants?
3. My grandchildren are all ashamed of me.
1. This thing smells like feet.2. The water cannot not touch my skin or I will melt.
3. Hahaha I know that bastard McCareins has no hands and didn't catch that ball.
Eric "Hey Bill you look slender right now? Did you start dieting?"Bill "I don't want to talk about the past I just want to concentrate on my meals for this week. The past is in the past the future is in the future but it's time to focus on the present."
Eric "So is that a yes or a no?"
1. Out of all the places to go for vacation I chose a Panther game? Stupid.2. Mrs. Claus is getting me three beers, it's last call.
3. All I wanted for Christmas was Vinny to start, and I didn't get it.
1. Did I miss something the game is Sunday right?2. Did they cancel the game because we suck so bad?
3. I heard first one to the game gets to play running ack.
1. This mask signifies the inner struggles of being from Seattle.2. That wuss Panther fan's got nothing on my horns.
3. I wear the beads to get the ladies to show me their hooters. It hasn't worked yet.
1. I'm gonna have to return this baby, cause well it isn't mine.2. Are you sure this isn't Reggie Bush? I could have sworn I saw him running around in a pink sweatshirt before.
3. She's actually going to call all of our plays today.
1. Perhaps this is why your team lost?2. This beer gut is a warmth machine.
3. The beard keeps my right nipple warm, that's my one weakness.
Trent "Will you make love to me later?"Shawn "Um Trent you're being a little awkward."
Trent " But Shawn you just won the Superbowl and I always wanted to sleep with a Superbowl winning Quarterback."
Shawn "Um Trent, first we didn't win the Superbowl and second you are a Superbwol winning Quarterback."
Trent "I'll catch."
Shawn "I think your head is still injured from last week."
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